| |
Callum and I avoid each other the next night, even though my heart leaps at the sight of him standing by the front door outside. I purposefully parked in the back and rounded the building to come in by the front, wanting to make sure he was going to be standing outside, manning his post.
He stood there, standing tall and proud, looking resolutely forward like one of those soldiers with the funny hats standing in front of Buckingham Palace. He had his wrist clasped in his right palm, and his eyes scan the crowd, moving toward me when I breeze past the line and the people waiting to get inside, giving Derek a nod hello, and then finally dipping my chin to Callum, too.
Callum had blinked at me, his eyes tracking over my face and body until finally moving over me and back towards the crowd, scanning for potential threats. Even though I work here, the people waiting outside for their reservations don’t know that, and I’m pretty sure I just made his life more difficult by cutting the line.
It doesn’t really matter if you work here or not, people get pissed one way or another when they see someone breaking the rules. Funny how it only seems to apply to lines, though, and not to something important.
I practically sprint up the front stairs, taking them two at a time, as if Callum’s nipping at my heels. The bar and club in general isn’t anywhere near packed yet, the dinner portion of the night finally winding down, and the tables will be broken down and moved off to one of the other back rooms within the next half hour.
I have time to catch my breath in the employee back room where I stash away my light coat since spring surfaced today, the temperature rocketing up to fifteen degrees so that I half wanted to come with shorts, a T-shirt, and flip-flops, ready for beach weather. The coat’s a backup, though, since it’s only April and we’ve been known to have one final snowstorm before we can fully escape winter’s clutches.
I stuff my bag and coat in my locker, twist the lock, and head out to the bar. My boots find something sticky already on the floor, and before the night is done, I know I might just end up tripping over it, my foot getting stuck while I’m trying to work the entire length of the bar during our breaks.
My work buddy for the night is some college kid going by the name of Lex, and while the nickname is unfortunate because even I know that it’s a villain, the kid seems friendly enough and eager to learn. Apparently, he’s been training for two weeks on the off shifts in the morning before throwing him under the bus tonight, and I know I’m going to have to keep an eye on him.
It’s pretty good, honestly, because it’ll force me to focus on what’s happening in the here and now, instead of wondering if Callum’s freezing his ass off in his too-tight black T-shirt and his jeans that actually fit his legs, and the flimsy leather jacket that’s not going to help him keep warm as the temperature continues to dip overnight. Just what was he thinking, wearing nothing but that while he’s working outside?
I shake my head, try to get my head in the game, and introduce myself to the kid.
“Hi, Lex,” I say. “I’m Izzy, we’ll be working together tonight.”
“Hi,” he says back, shaking my hand quickly, then swiping his palm on his jeans. “Uh, I’m kinda nervous.”
“I know, I was, too, my first time out. If you need help, come get me, but I hate to break it to you, there’s going to be at least one asshole whose mission in life might be to make you cry tonight. Don’t sweat it. If you need a break, just let me know so I can cover both sides of the bar, all right?”
The kid smiles tremulously, looking more scared than before we introduced ourselves. I want to squeeze his shoulder, but like, I don’t know him that well, and I’m not going to touch him without permission. “I just want to tell you how it is. People get a little riled up when they have to wait too long for a drink. I’m here to help you. Ask if you need help, and I’ll try to get to you as soon as I can.”
Lex smiles again and pulls in a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
“Here, first customer. Go ahead, I’m going to clock in and check the stock. Is your side all set up?” Lex nods and then pivots on his heel to meet with the guy at the bar.
I keep an eye on Lex the rest of the night. The kid does pretty well until some asshole takes it as a personal vendetta when he flubs the drink recipe.
“What the fuck is this, what the fuck is this? I paid twenty bucks for good whisky, what the fuck is this watered-down shit?” The asshole in question doesn’t think it’s good enough just to verbally abuse the kid who’s pouring him a drink, and decides to whip the liquid at the kid, and who knows what kind of backwash was in there, too.
I have no faith in humanity sometimes, not when we treat each other like this over a drink.
My brain takes that moment in time to think of a younger Callum getting yelled at for being too stupid to figure something out because of his learning difficulty.
I see blood-red.
“Hey, buddy,” I say, all smiles and chest thrown back to distract him, unless he’s gay, which won’t be good to deescalate the situation. “What’s the problem? It’s okay, Lex, can you cover my side for a bit?” I gently push the kid to my side. He looks hurt and lost and slumps his shoulders, but he’s okay as soon as he starts taking orders.
“What’s the problem, sir?” I turn to the asshole in question, grinning at him, and watch his eyes dip to my cleavage and stay there, inwardly gagging at having to use the ‘sir.’
I feel like a snake charmer, and this guy’s nothing but a garden snake pretending to be a cobra. I’m sure if I were to sway left or right, he’d follow my movements, and it sort of makes me want to giggle. “What can I do for you?” I ask, pitching my voice loud enough to be heard over the music. Half of flirting is nuance in tone and word choice, but it helps that I have to lean in closer to him, his ear moved my way until he can understand what I’m asking him.
Ugh, this guy is gross.
He looks to be my sister’s age, maybe older, I don’t know. The dark lights are forgiving, and everyone looks good limned in shadows and violet lighting. “What are you going to do to make all of this better for me?”
“Have a free drink on me, huh?” I lean back and smile at him, tilting my head flirtatiously to bring attention to my throat, letting him look his fill. I know he’s a dick enough to not tip me for the top-shelf whisky I’m about to give him some of, but it’s not like I was expecting much. This kind of guy is born a dick, and he’ll die a dick unless there’s some sort of huge change to his character.
Plus, it’s always good to defuse a situation before it gets to boiling hot, huh?
The guy shakes his head, then crooks his finger, so I lend him my ear. He grabs on to my upper arm, bringing me closer to him so he can lick the shell of my ear, and I’m lucky that he didn’t grab my dominant arm.
“I said a drink, not my ear, pervert. Let go of me, now.”
The asshole just laughs, and my heart’s beating fast and hard in my chest. I should punch him in the throat, I know I should—guys like this don’t understand much besides a show of dominance, a show of violence. I throw my hand up in the air, the signal between security and the people who work at the bar, but the angle might be too awkward for security to see me, even in my tall-ass shit kickers. I don’t know if they’re going to get here in time.
My heart beats triple time, blood pounding in my ears as I start to sweat.
“Let go of me, asshat,” I growl, prying at his bruising fingers banded around my upper arm. He’s still got a free hand, and he’s reaching for my chest, and nope, that’s got property of Izzy Prewitt stamped all over it, and he’s illegally trespassing.
I get hold of his thumb banded around my arm with my dominant hand and crank it back, holding all the leverage now and getting him to let go of me. I keep throwing my hand up in the air, throwing up the signal that means security has got to get to me and fast, except no one shows up right where I need them.
The asshat in question takes the empty glass still sitting on the bar and whips it at me, hard enough to bruise, but the glass bounces off and explodes in a shatter, some of the shards cutting me even though I don’t really understand how.
“You fucking bitch,” he says, looking like he’s going to pounce over the bar and come at me like a raging bull. “You fucking bitch!”
Callum’s there, when I thought he was outside this whole time, hauling the guy back and forcefully moving him to Lars, one of the other guys working on the floor tonight.
I stare at Callum when he turns to me, his eyes burning, and I watch him round the bar as he comes toward me. He’s got his phone pressed to his ear, and there’s still people teeming around the bar, wanting to get their drinks without really realizing what happened. Callum’s standing next to me, close enough to touch but not reaching out, and I wonder for a split second if he’s mad at me, if his controlled rage is directed at me.
When he looks at me, our eyes meeting for the first time after he hauled that asshole away, I know I was stupid to even think that.
I think Callum loves me—the way he’s looking at me now, he loves me. His blue eyes are dark under this lighting, and his face is a rictus of anger, features tight with tension, a muscle jumping in his jaw, talking through clenched teeth into his phone, yelling into it.
I lean in close when he wants to talk to me, right into the ear that’s been licked with some asshole’s gross spit. Gross, gross, gross!
“I’m going to stay here with you, behind the bar. I can work the floor and pour beers and straight drinks. I’ll help the two of you out as much as I can.”
I nod dumbly, feeling a little numb now to what happened, an ache starting somewhere in my belly where that glass got whipped at me.
I get back to work, working through giving people their drinks, getting their cash, working the register behind the bar quickly and efficiently. I help out Lex when I can, and before I know it, the night passes me by, my break having come and gone with helping Lex out instead of actually taking it. I make a mental note to speak with my manager about that tonight, and to tell her what happened to me.
At the end of the night, after last call, the lights are put on to full blast, and Callum is still by my side. He documents the bruises on my upper arm with pictures on his phone, making me turn my arm up and out so he can get the entire imprint, the bruising that the asshole’s fingers left behind.
Callum doesn’t touch me, and instead keeps his distance as if he’s almost afraid to hurt me even more when all I really want is one of his hugs, convinced that it’ll make all of this better.
He takes care of everything while I wipe down the bar and take stock at the end of the night, leaving notes behind for the staff tomorrow morning when they come in. I help Lex clock out at the end of the night, giving him a Good job, man that has him smiling at me in gratitude. I would offer to drive him to the nearest metro station, but Derek offers to give the kid a ride over, since we’re all kind of shaken up by what happened.
There are scarier things that could have happened, of course—but it’s never happened directly to me in this kind of way, and I find myself shivering from exhaustion and the adrenaline blowback that all I want to do is sleep and sprint across the room at the very same time.
“Callum,” I try, my throat rough from all the talking tonight. “Callum, I’m okay.”
He doesn’t answer me, instead moving about the tasks I give him to close up the bar for the night. He follows me to the backroom where I get my stuff, and then walks me outside to the back parking lot, eyes scanning the dark, looking for threats I just don’t see.
I get inside my car, and Callum waits for me to lock the doors and start it before I roll my window down to talk to him, except I don’t even know what to say.
“Will I see you tomorrow?” I ask, the dumbest question ever, but at least it’s a start. “Are you going to come to work?”
Callum clears his throat and coughs into a fist, looking around anxiously as if he’s waiting for the boogey man to come creeping out of the shadows. That’s how he sees the world, though, or at least parts of it, a threat always waiting around the next corner. Callum’s got his situational awareness turned up to a hundred, and he keeps scanning our surroundings, always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Callum, get in your car, too, okay? So I know you’re safe.”
He looks down at me when I tell him that, and he claps his hand against the hood of my car, the sound of it making me jump. He winces when he notices my overblown startle response.
“Sorry,” he murmurs. “I didn’t mean to scare you. Look, I’m going to follow you home,” he says, but I’m shaking my head at him. For some stupid reason, I don’t want him to know where I live, to see my parents’ home and that I still live in it, like it’s some sort of shameful secret.
I don’t know why I’m so ashamed, but I am.
Callum’s had to struggle for a lot, and I must look like a pampered princess to him, playing with his feelings when that’s just not true, it’s not true at all.
“Uh, you don’t have to. I know it’s going to be really out of your way.”
Callum tilts his head at me, just like Luna does. I don’t really know who is imitating who.
“I’ll see you to the highway then. Come on, Izzy. You’re exhausted.”
I nod, because yeah, I am. “Only if you text me when you get home so I know you made it back all right. That’s all I’m asking, Callum.”
I want to ask so much more, those three big words stuck at the base of my throat, waiting for the one and only shining moment to be said. But now’s not the time, not when I’m feeling like this, and Callum’s simmering with anger and adrenaline at me being hurt.
He stares at me for what feels like a long time, all while I fight the shivers and the pounding of my heart. “Is that all you’re asking for, though, Iz?” Callum sighs, pulling in a deep breath and then glancing around one last time. I don’t know what kind of answer he’s looking for, but we’re both too wrung out to have a fight now.
If that’s where we’re heading, or is this all a final countdown to the end of this budding relationship?
“Let’s get you home,” he says with finality, walking backwards until I see him get into his own car. I adjust the heating vents on my dash, cranking the heat up to dispel some of the chill that came in from my open window and then slowly pull out of the parking lot, indicating my every turn until I can see Callum drive off to his own place after I get onto the highway. I’m still twenty minutes from home, and I’m missing the big guy already.
None of this seems fair.
It’s not until I finish my skincare routine and plop into bed with a fresh pair of fuzzy socks on my feet do I notice Callum’s texted me.
I got home okay. Luna misses you. I do, too.
Ah, shit. Shit, shit, shit.
I pull in a deep breath through my nose, trying to think about the best way to answer, but I’m exhausted, and my arm and belly’s throbbing, and even though I thoroughly washed my ear, I can still feel the phantom lick that asshole decided to bestow me with.
God, I hope his dick shrivels up and he can’t breed his shitty genes on to the next generation.
But Callum keeps typing...
I’m planning on taking Luna to the mountain tomorrow afternoon. I’ll be at the lookout, sitting on the steps in front of the chalet. Meet me at two o’clock if you want to talk.
Oh, so he’s putting the ball in my court, huh?
I kinda want to leave him unread and make him hurt for the past couple of days where I’ve been stewing in it, but Callum looked just as miserable as I felt today, tonight, whatever, and nothing’s going to change if we just don’t talk about it.
So the answer’s easy, and my thumbs hover over the keyboard, wanting to say so much more than a simple yes.
I snicker at the message I finally go with, demanding to get off this roller coaster ride and finally head into dreamland and sleep. My entire body hurts, but I have to do this, and I can sort of imagine him squirming in bed.
It’s a date. See you tomorrow.
I connect my phone to charge, and then shove it under my pillow, suffocating the excited squeal I want to let out at four-thirty in the morning.
Whatever happens tomorrow, at least I get to see Luna, hopefully not for the last time.
