Alan tried to leave.
He didn’t make it very far before his skin began to flake.
He returned, expression stormy.
“What’s happening to me?” he demanded. “What have you done?” He clawed at his chest. “I don’t want this, whatever it is. It’s a chain. Can’t you see it’s a chain?”
Hugo sighed. “I’ll explain as best I can.”
Wallace didn’t think it would be good enough.
Charon’s Crossing Tea and Treats opened as normal the next day, bright and early.
The people came as they always did. They smiled and laughed and drank their tea and ate their scones and muffins. They sat in their chairs, waking up slowly, ready to begin another day in this town in the mountains.
They couldn’t see the angry man pacing through the tea shop, stopping to scream at each of them. A woman wiped her mouth daintily, unaware that Alan was shouting in her ear. A child had whipped cream on the tip of his nose, not knowing that Alan stood behind him, face twisted in fury.
“Maybe you should close the shop,” Wallace muttered, staring out the porthole windows.
Mei had dark circles under her eyes. She and Hugo hadn’t slept, kept awake by Alan causing a ruckus through the night. “He can’t hurt anyone,” she said quietly. “What would be the point?”
“I can move chairs. I can break light bulbs. And I wasn’t half as angry as he is. You really want to take that chance?”
She sighed. “Hugo knows what he’s doing. He won’t let that happen.”
Hugo stood behind the counter, a forced smile on his face. He greeted each customer as if they were a long-lost friend, but there was something off about it, though most didn’t seem to notice. At best, the gaggle of elderly women told him that he needed to take better care of himself. “Get some rest,” they scolded him. “You look exhausted.”
“I will,” Hugo said, glancing at Alan who tried to overturn a table with no success.
It wasn’t until Alan started toward Nelson that Wallace went out into the tea shop for the first time that morning.
“Hey,” he said. “Hey, Alan.”
Alan whirled around, eyes blazing. “What? What the hell do you want?”
He didn’t know. He’d only wanted to keep Alan away from Nelson. He didn’t think Alan could hurt him, not really, but he didn’t want to take that chance. Hugo started toward them, but Wallace shook his head, begging silently for Hugo to stay back. He couldn’t stand the thought of Hugo putting himself in harm’s way, not again.
Wallace turned back to Alan. “Knock it off.”
That startled Alan, some of his rage fading slightly. “What?”
“Knock it off,” Wallace repeated firmly. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but is it really helping your situation?”
“What the hell do you know?” Alan started to turn away.
“I’m like you,” he said quickly, though it felt like a lie. “I’m dead, so I know what I’m talking about.” He didn’t believe that for a moment, but if Alan believed, then so be it.
Alan stopped and narrowed his eyes as he glanced back. “Then help me do something about it. I don’t know what that was last night, but we can’t be trapped here. I want to go home. I have a life. I have to—”
“You have two options. You can either stay right here, in this house. Or you can let Hugo take you upstairs and go through the door.”
“Seems to me there’s a third option. Figure out how to get out of here. Keep moving until I’m free of all of this.”
Wallace hesitated. Then, “No one here wants to hurt you. They never have. That’s not what this is about. It’s a way station. A stop along the path we’re all traveling on.”
Alan shook his head. “You want to stay here? Fine. I don’t give a shit what you do. If that old bastard over there wants to do the same? Good for him. I don’t want this. I didn’t ask for—”
“None of us did,” Wallace snapped. “You think this is easy for any of us? You died. I can’t even begin to imagine how it must have felt for you. But that doesn’t mean you get to act like an asshole about it.” Oh, the hypocrisy. Wallace cringed inwardly, remembering all he’d said and done to Hugo, to Mei, to Nelson, three people who were only trying to help him. He owed them everything, and he’d flung it back in their faces, all because he was afraid. Where did he get off scolding Alan when he’d acted the same way? He hated the comparison, but it was the truth, wasn’t it? “You want to go? Then go. See how far you get. Maybe you’ll get farther than I did, but it won’t matter. You’ll turn into nothing. You’ll be nothing. Is that what you really want?” Alan started to speak, but Wallace overrode him. “I don’t think it is. And deep down, I think you know that. For once in your life, use your damn head.”
And with that, he spun on his heel and stalked away, leaving Alan behind.
“That went well,” Nelson murmured when Wallace put his hand on the back of his chair.
Wallace sighed. “I don’t know if I had the right to say any of that to him.”
“What do you mean?”
“I just … he’s me.” The words were easier than he expected. “In a way I don’t like to look at because it shows me for who I was. Hell, who I am. I don’t know. It’s all jumbled up in my head. How can I tell him he can’t be an asshole about all of this when I acted exactly the same way?”
“You did,” Nelson said evenly.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” Wallace whispered, ashamed. “I was scared, more than I’d ever been in my life, but that doesn’t excuse the way I treated all of you.” He shook his head. “Mei said something the first night she brought me here. That I needed to think about what I was saying. I didn’t do that.” Humbled, he looked at Nelson. “I’m sorry for how I treated you. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but regardless, it’s something I needed to say.”
Nelson watched him for a long moment. Though Wallace wanted to look away, he didn’t. Eventually, Nelson said, “Okay. I appreciate that. Mei’s right. She usually is, but with this, she hit the nail on the head. And if there’s hope for you, the same could be said about Alan.”
“I don’t know if it’ll be enough,” he admitted.
“Perhaps. But maybe it will be. Hugo will do the best he can. That’s all anyone can ask for. I’m glad you’re here, though. And I know I’m not the only one.”
Wallace glanced at Hugo. He was handing a customer a mug filled with tea, that same fixed smile on his face.
But he seemed to only have eyes for Wallace.
The rest of the day was quieter than it’d begun. Alan stayed by the window, ignoring everyone else. His shoulders were stiff, and every now and then, he’d reach up and touch his stomach or his chest or his throat. Wallace wondered if there was a sort of phantom pain there. He hoped not. He couldn’t imagine how that would feel.
When the last customer had left for the day, Hugo closed the door behind them, switching the sign in the window from OPEN to CLOSED. Mei was cleaning in the kitchen, her terrible music blasting loudly.
“Wallace,” Hugo said. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
Wallace looked warily at Alan, still standing by the window.
“It’s fine,” Nelson said. “I can handle him if need be. I may look old, but I can kick ass and take names with the best of them.”
Wallace believed him.
He followed Hugo down the hall toward the back door. He thought they were going out to the deck like they did most nights, but Hugo stopped near the end of the hall. He leaned against the wall, rubbing his hands over his face. His bandana—bright orange today—sat askew on his head. Wallace wished he could fix it for him. He suddenly found himself wishing for many impossible things.
Hugo spoke first. “It’s going to be a little different for the next few days.” He sounded apologetic.
“What do you mean?”
“Alan. I need to help him. Get him to try to talk, if I can.” He sighed. “Which means we won’t be able to talk like we normally do at night, unless we can do it after—”
“Oh, hey, no,” Wallace said, even as a little flicker of jealousy flared within him. “I get it. He’s … You have to do what you do. Don’t worry about me. I know what’s important here.”
Hugo looked frustrated. “You are. Just as much as he is.”
Wallace blinked. “Thank you?”
Hugo nodded furiously, looking down at the floor between them. “I don’t want you thinking you’re not. I … like it when we talk. It’s one of my favorite parts of the day.”
“Oh,” Wallace said. His face felt warm. He cleared his throat. “I, uh. I like it when we talk too.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Good,” Wallace said. He didn’t know what else to say.
Hugo gnawed on his bottom lip. “I act like I know what I’m doing. And I like to think I’m good at it, even when I’m out of my depth. It’s … different. Each person is different. It’s difficult, but death always will be. Sometimes we get people like you, and other times…”
“You get an Alan.”
“Yeah,” he said, sounding relieved. “And I have to work harder at it, but it’s worth it if I can get through to them. I don’t want anyone who comes here to turn around and do what Cameron did. To think that there’s no hope. That they have nothing left.”
“He’s…” What? Wallace wasn’t sure what he was trying to say. It felt too big. He pushed through it to the truth. “He took his own life.”
Hugo blinked. “What? How did you know that?”
They hadn’t had time to talk about what’d happened in the tea garden. All that he’d seen. All that he’d felt. All that Cameron had shown him. “I saw it when Cameron touched me. These stars, these pieces of him. Flashes. Memories. I felt his happiness and his sorrow and everything in between. And there was part of him that knew I could see it.”
Hugo sagged against the wall as if his legs had given out. “Oh god. That’s not … the Manager said…” He hung his head. “He … lied to me?”
“I don’t know,” Wallace said quickly. “I don’t know why he said the things he did to you, but…” He struggled to find the right words. “But what if they’re not as gone as you think? What if part of them still exists?”
“Then that would mean—I don’t know what that would mean.” Hugo lifted his head, eyes sad, mouth tugging down. “I tried so damn hard to get through to him, to make him see that he wasn’t defined by his ending. That even though he saw no other choice, it was over now, and he couldn’t be hurt again.”
“He lost someone,” Wallace whispered. The sunshine man.
“I know. And no matter what I said, I couldn’t convince him that they’d find each other again.” He looked toward the door that led to the garden.
“Has anyone ever come back from being a Husk?”
Hugo shook his head. “Not that I’ve heard. They’re rare.” His mouth took on a bitter twist. “At least that’s what the Manager told me.”
“Okay,” Wallace said. “But even if that’s the case, why aren’t there hundreds of them? Thousands? He can’t be the first. Why didn’t I see any in the city after I died?”
“I don’t know,” Hugo said. “The Manager said that … it doesn’t matter what he said, not now. Not if … Wallace. Do you know what this means?” He pushed himself off the wall.
“Uh. No?”
“I need to think about this. I can’t … my head is too full right now. But thank you.”
“For what?”
“Being who you are.”
“It’s not much,” Wallace said, suddenly uncomfortable. “I wasn’t that great to begin with, as you know.”
Hugo looked like he was going to argue. Instead, he called for Mei.
The music briefly grew louder as she came through the doors, hurrying down the hall. “What? What is it? Are we under attack? Whose ass do I need to kick?”
And without looking away from Wallace, Hugo said, “I need you to do me a favor.”
She glanced between them curiously. “Okay. What?”
“I need you to hug Wallace for me.”
Wallace spluttered.
“Wow,” Mei said. “I’m so glad I ran out here for this.” She tapped her fingers against her palm. A little light burst before fading as quickly as it’d come. “Any specific reason?”
“Because I can’t do it,” Hugo said. “And I want to.”
Mei hesitated, but only for a moment. And then Wallace stumbled against the wall as she latched onto him, arms around his waist, her head lying on his chest.
“Hug me back,” she demanded. “It’s weird if you don’t. What the boss man wants, the boss man gets.”
“This is already weird,” Wallace muttered, but did as she asked. It felt good, having this. More than he expected it to. It wasn’t like it’d been after Desdemona. It was … more.
“This is from Hugo,” she told him, unnecessarily.
“I know,” he whispered.
Alan looked like he was going to argue. He scowled, arms crossed defensively, ire clear. But he seemed to be listening.
“He’ll get through to him,” Nelson said, watching his grandson and their new guest.
Wallace wasn’t so sure. He believed in Hugo, but he didn’t know what Alan would do in response. He wasn’t quite on board with the idea of them going off alone, even if it was only to the backyard. “What if he doesn’t?”
“Then he doesn’t,” Nelson said. “And though it will be through no fault of his own, he’ll carry the guilt with him just as he’s done for Cameron and Lea. Remember what I told you? Empathetic to a fault. That’s our Hugo.”
“She didn’t come in today.”
Nelson knew who he meant. “She’ll be back. Nancy might take a day or three, but she always comes back.”
“Will she come around?”
“I don’t know. I’d like to think she will, but there’s…” He coughed into the back of his hand. “There’s something about losing a child that destroys a person.”
Wallace felt like an idiot. Of course Nelson would understand. Hugo had lost his parents, which also meant Nelson had lost a child. Guilt tugged at him that he’d never thought to ask. “Which one?”
“My son,” Nelson said. “A good man. Stubborn, but good. Such a serious little boy, but he learned to smile in his own time. Hugo’s mother saw to that. They were two peas in a pod. I remember the first time he’d told us about her. He had stars in his eyes. I knew then he was lost to her, though I hadn’t even met her. I needn’t have worried. She was a marvelous woman, so filled with hope and joy. But above all else, she was patient and kind. And they took the better parts of themselves and put them into Hugo. I see them in him, always.”
“I wish I could have met them,” Wallace said, watching as Alan trailed after Hugo down the long hallway toward the back deck, Apollo already barking from outside.
“They would’ve liked you,” Nelson said. “Would’ve given you shit, of course, but you’d have been in on the joke with them.” He smiled to himself. “I can’t wait to see them again, to hold my son’s face in my hands and tell him how proud I am of him. We think we have time for such things, but there’s never enough for all we should have said.” His glance was sly. “You’d do well to remember that.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Nelson chuckled. “I bet you don’t.” He sobered. “Is there anything you would say to someone left behind if you could?”
“No one would listen.”
Nelson shook his head slowly. “I don’t believe that for a moment.”
Alan came back inside first. He looked bewildered. Spooked. The tea shop seemed heavier with his presence, and smaller, as if the walls had started closing in. Wallace didn’t know if that was him projecting, or if it was coming from Alan himself. Alan, who Wallace almost felt sorry for as he turned over another chair and set it up on the table. This whole empathy thing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
Mei paused, broom in her hand. “All right?” she asked, looking at Alan.
Alan ignored her. He stared at Wallace, jaw dropped. Wallace didn’t like it. “What?”
“The chair,” Alan said. “How are you doing that?”
Wallace blinked. “Oh, uh. Practice, I guess? It’s not as hard as it looks, once you get the hang of it. It just takes time to learn how to focus—”
“You need to show me how to do it.”
That certainly didn’t sound like a good idea. Visions of chaos filled Wallace’s head, customers screaming as chairs were flung around them by an unseen hand. “It took a long time, probably longer than you’ll—”
“I can learn,” Alan insisted. “How hard can it be?”
Mei set the broom against the counter, glancing at them before heading down the hall to the back deck.
“Well,” Wallace said. “I … don’t exactly know how to start.”
“I do,” Nelson said from his chair. “Taught him everything he knows.”
Alan wasn’t impressed. “You? Really. You.”
“Really,” Nelson said dryly. “But you don’t have to take my word for it. In fact, you don’t have to take any word at all with that attitude.”
“I don’t need you,” Alan said. “Wallace here can show me. Isn’t that right, Wallace?”
Wallace shook his head. “Nope. Nelson is the expert. If you want to know anything, you go through him.”
“He’s too old to—”
Nelson disappeared from his chair.
Alan choked on his tongue.
And then he was knocked off his feet when Nelson appeared behind him, sweeping his legs out from underneath him with his cane. Alan landed roughly on his back, the lights in the sconces flaring briefly.
“Not too old to show you a trick or three, you insolent child,” Nelson said coolly. “And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll bite your tongue before I show you what I can really do.” He turned back toward his chair, but not before he winked at a gobsmacked Wallace.
“No, wait,” Alan said, pushing himself up off the floor as the shop settled around them. “I…” He ground his teeth together. “I’ll listen.”
Nelson eyed him critically. “I’ll believe it when I see it. Your first task is to sit there without talking. If I hear so much as a peep from you before I tell you to speak again, I won’t teach you a damn thing.”
“But—”
“Stop. Talking.”
Alan snapped his mouth closed, though he looked furious about it.
“Go check on them,” Nelson said to Wallace as he sat back down. “I’ll handle things in here.”
Wallace believed it. He knew how much the cane hurt.
He glanced back only once as he hurried down the hallway.
Alan hadn’t moved.
Maybe he would listen after all.
“—and you don’t need to take that kind of abuse,” Mei was saying hotly as Wallace walked through the door into the cool evening air. “I don’t care who he thinks he is, no one gets to talk to you that way. Screw that guy. Screw him right in his stupid face.”
Hugo smiled wryly. “Thanks, Mei. Pointed as always.”
“Just because he’s angry and scared doesn’t give him the right to be a dick. Tell him, Wallace.”
“Yeah,” Wallace said. “I’m probably not the best person, seeing as how I used to be a dick.”
Mei snorted. “Used to be. That’s real cute.” Then, “Did you leave Nelson alone with him?”
He held up his hands. “I don’t think you need to worry about that. Nelson already put him in his place. I’m more worried about Alan than anything else.”
Hugo groaned. “What did Grandad do?”
“Like … ghost karate?”
Mei laughed. “Oh, man, and I missed it? I need to go see if he’ll do it again. You’ve got this, Wallace, right?” She didn’t wait for an answer. She stood on her tiptoes, kissing Hugo on the cheek before heading back inside. Wallace heard her shouting for Nelson before she closed the door.
“Pain in the ass,” Hugo muttered.
Wallace walked toward him. “Who? Nelson or Mei?”
“Yes,” Hugo said before yawning, his jaw cracking audibly.
“You should go to bed,” Wallace said. “Get some rest. I think he’ll be quieter tonight.” If they were lucky, Nelson would convince him to keep his mouth shut for at least a few hours.
“I will. Just … needed to clear my head for a moment.”
“How did it go?”
Hugo started to shrug but stopped halfway. “It went.”
“That good, huh?”
“He’s angry. I get it. I really do. And as much as I want to, I can’t take that away from him. It’s his. The best I can do is to make sure he knows he doesn’t have to hold onto it forever.”
Wallace was dubious at best. “You think he’ll listen to you?”
“I hope so.” Hugo smiled tiredly. “It’s too soon to tell. But if it starts getting out of hand…” A complicated expression crossed his face. “Well, let’s just say it’s best to avoid that if possible.”
“The Manager.”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t like him.”
Hugo looked off into the dark. “He isn’t the type of being to be liked. As long as the job gets done, nothing else matters. I’m not exactly ambivalent, but…”
“He scares you,” Wallace said, suddenly sure.
“He’s a cosmic being overseeing death,” Hugo said dryly. “Of course he scares me. He scares everyone. That’s kind of the point.”
“You still listened to him when he offered you a job.”
Hugo shook his head. “That has nothing to do with it. I took the job because I wanted to. How could I not? Helping people when they need it most, when they think all is lost? Of course I’d agree to it.”
“Like Jesus,” Wallace said solemnly. “Got that savior complex down pat.”
Hugo burst out laughing. “Yeah, yeah. Point taken, Wallace.” He sobered slightly. “And then there’s the fact that he might be a liar given what he’s said about the Husks, and that scares me even more. It makes me wonder what else he’s kept from me.”
“Make any headway with that?”
“Not yet. I’m still thinking. I’ll get there. Just not yet.”
They fell quiet, leaning against the railing.
“I think he’ll listen,” Hugo said finally. “Alan. I need to be careful with him. He’s fragile right now. But I know I can get through to him. He just needs time to work through it. And once he’s better and I can show him how to cross, we can go back to normal.” He reached out for Wallace, only to stop himself and curl his fingers.
“Yeah,” Wallace said. “Normal.”
“That’s not … I keep forgetting.” His brow furrowed above a pinched expression as he breathed heavily through his nose. “That you’re…”
“I know,” Wallace said.
Hugo’s face crumpled. “I’m losing focus. I keep thinking you’re…” He shook his head. He started for the door, whistling for Apollo who barked from the tea garden.
And before he could walk through the open door, Wallace said, “Hugo.”
He stopped but didn’t turn around.
Wallace looked up at the stars.
Is there anything you would say to someone left behind if you could?
He said, “If things were different, if I were me, and you were you … do you think you’d ever see me as someone you could…”
He didn’t think Hugo was going to answer. He’d walk through the door without a word, leaving Wallace alone and feeling foolish.
He didn’t.
He said, “Yes.” And then he went inside.
Wallace stared after him, burning like the sun.