Chapter Ten

A Social Experiment

Each step they took on the cobbled walkway of the campus sounded like a cannon blast. This wasn’t the latest time of night Tyler had wandered around BGA’s grounds, and he was sure those nights had been just as quiet, but the fact they were heading off to one of the famous “Gatherings” heightened his senses and made it feel like the school had transformed into some sort of ghost town.

A handful of more pleading looks with those big blue eyes and some actual begging had been enough for Eli to finally convince Tyler to go to the Gathering. In the back of his mind, another big determining factor was that the footage of a time traveler from the Victorian era interacting at his first modern party was too good to pass up. In the documentary, which he was already piecing together and editing in his head, whatever was about to happen tonight would likely be pure gold.

But his desire to make this life-changing (hell, world-changing) documentary was being tested by the possibility of being caught by a member of the faculty. Though this film he was making about Eli would undoubtedly be his ticket to the future and the career he wanted, getting in trouble and ruining his shot at graduation was still an epically bad idea. Getting caught drinking on campus would lead to suspension. Who knew? Maybe it could even get him expelled. Not to mention that, once busted, adults would start asking questions about Eli, like who he was, what he was doing here, why he didn’t have a passport or a visa or really any form of ID…

It also didn’t help that he was now also freaking out at the prospect of being found out by his friends. Deep down he knew Zoe couldn’t care less about these types of parties, but no doubt Oscar would be bummed about not receiving an invite. Tyler wasn’t exactly in a position to invite anyone, though. Though Charlie and Vanessa had gone through the motions of inviting him, he was really just a plus-one in this scenario. If he hadn’t been standing right there when they had asked Eli to attend, Eli would likely have been wandering the dark campus on his own.

Still, he couldn’t shake the guilt weighing down each of his steps. Maybe he should have at least told Zoe and Oscar where he was going. Then again, how would they even find out?

“What are you thinking about?” Eli whispered.

Hmm, let’s see…guilt, betrayal, suspension…expulsion, no film school, no future.

You.

“Why’s the sky blue? What’s the meaning of life? You know, boring things.”

This drew a laugh from the Brit, and the lightness of it eased some of the tension that had Tyler’s muscles coiled so tightly.

“It was nice of those friends of yours to invite us to this gathering.”

Tyler shook his head as they neared the edge of the woods. “Trust me, those people aren’t my friends.”

Even under the veil of darkness shading the space between them, Tyler could sense that Eli had raised an eyebrow in his direction. “Is that so? You could have fooled me.”

“Huh?”

“You may have been standing off in the distance, watching through your camera, but I could see the way you were looking at that Charlie fellow…and Vanessa, for that matter.”

“It’s complicated. There’s a big difference between having a crush on someone and them being your friend.” As they stepped into the wooded brush, it was almost like crossing a threshold into a different world. It was a cooler, forbidden world, one that had not been meant for Tyler Forrester.

Elias shook his head, clicking his tongue. “See there you go again, speaking as if in another language. If there is to be any hope of me fitting in here you are going to need to start translating some of this terminology.”

Tyler laughed. He’d noticed he’d been laughing quite a bit since Eli’s arrival. For all of the misunderstandings and cultural differences, conversation flowed surprisingly easily between them.

Tyler couldn’t think of the last person he’d felt this comfortable talking with. Sure he had Oscar and Zoe, but this…this was different. Even around his friends, Tyler had an image of himself that he’d already established: the sensitive filmmaker, the intellect, quiet, somewhat shy, thoughtful. He could relax around his friends, unwind, but there was still part of him that was always making sure he lived up to that image. Eli, on the other hand, knew nothing about who Tyler had been up until now and who he was supposed to be. He told himself that this ease he felt around Eli was because he was new and because he was temporary…but he also had a feeling it was something much more than that.

“A crush is when you like someone. And not just normal like—I’m talking feelings, romantic ones.”

“Ahh, so you have ‘crush’ on Vanessa, then?” Eli asked. If Tyler didn’t know any better, he could have sworn he heard a little bit of disappointment in his voice. He was probably just making it up, but even the idea that it was the case set off a strange tingling sensation in Tyler’s skin that he hadn’t been expecting.

He bit down on his lip and nodded. “And Charlie.”

“Both?” Eli’s eyes were wide, and his mouth was hanging open. This was just the kind of reaction he had been expecting. Oscar’s reaction had been pretty similar when he’d first come out to him, but he got over it a lot quicker than a boy from 1886 likely would.

“If I’m introducing you to new terminology I might as well teach you this one: bisexual. It’s when someone is attracted to more than one gender. It’s also what I am.”

“And this is”—Eli leaned in close and whispered the next word in his question—“allowed?”

Tyler smiled. “It’s definitely more accepted now than it was back in your time. And there are still some people and groups who are ignorant and against it. But overall, more and more people are free to love who they love and to be who they are.”

“That’s lovely,” Eli said dreamily. “And I also think it is lovely that you would trust me with such a secret.”

“Secret?” Tyler felt like he was just about to inform a kid that Santa wasn’t real. “It’s not a secret. I’m out—that means I’ve told other people.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, even if it were a secret, I wouldn’t be all that worried about you sharing information about my sexual orientation and who I do or do not have crushes on with some English aristocrats once you go back to London.”

The way Eli’s face fell, Tyler immediately regretted saying it, but Eli was quick to bounce back. “You’re so certain that I’ll be returning to nineteenth-century London and yet upon my first few days my charming British accent has already won me some new friends and an invitation to an elite social gathering. A whole fortnight will have me as one of the most popular young fellows in New Jersey.”

Tyler forced out a laugh this time. It’s not like he was wrong about his instant popularity. That said, Tyler couldn’t lose sight of the fact that, for the laws of nature to remain intact and for the sake of this documentary, Eli would have to leave at some point.

“Anyway, with Charlie and Vanessa, it’s attraction…fantasy. Zoe and Oscar are my only real friends. They just…get me.”

“Get you?”

“They understand me. Accept me for who I am. Charlie, Vanessa, all their friends…they just think I’m strange.” As he said that, his glasses slid down his nose, only emphasizing his awkwardness.

“Or,” Eli interceded, “perhaps you just think the others don’t accept you for who you are when all the while, you haven’t actually shown them who you are. It’s not easy to make friends when you close yourself off.”

“Or,” Tyler replied, mimicking both Eli’s tone and his accent, “I’m smart enough to anticipate what’s coming and also smart enough to protect myself.”

“I’m certainly not judging,” Eli continued. “I’m essentially the king of hiding my true self from others. I don’t have a lot of friends, either. The other people my age always seem so much more dignified—or at least, they acted that way. I got the sense it made most of them feel like they were better than me. Not saying they were wrong…”

There it was again, just like in the library when they’d had that silent moment of understanding after talking about how little their parents (or in Tyler’s case, sort-of parent) wanted to do with them. He would have never in a million years figured that he would have so much in common with someone from nineteenth-century England. Then again, he never would have imagined he’d ever even meet someone from nineteenth-century England.

“You’re not what I was expecting, Elias Caldwell.”

Even though he couldn’t see his face that well, Tyler could almost feel Eli’s smile as it radiated. “And what were you expecting?”

Tyler didn’t have an answer for that. How could he?

Fuck. That whole conversation would have been perfect for the film. It had basically been an interview, albeit, a few more details about his sexual identity than he would want to include. He would have to remember to ask Eli some similar questions about friendship and acceptance on camera sometime.

The deeper they went into the woods, the clearer the sounds of talking, laughter, and muffled music playing from Bluetooth speakers became. Pretty soon the orange glow of the bonfire came into view, illuminating the nearby trees and faces surrounding it. It might soften the blow for Oscar if he were to see just how underwhelming the infamous gatherings actually were.

Only a handful or two of other students were there. Unless more were coming later or some had already dispersed, it was a much smaller crowd than Tyler had been expecting. A few of them had beer bottles or cans, but mostly, people were clutching red Solo cups, just like a party scene from a movie or TV show.

But this wasn’t a TV show. And it wasn’t a dream, either, no matter how much it was starting to feel like one.

As they neared, Tyler and Eli’s feet crunching down on the leaves and twigs caught the attention of a few people, and they flashed them wide smiles and raised their cups in greeting. “English!” they cheered.

English? The guy had been here less than a couple days and they’d already given him a nickname? Granted, it wasn’t an entirely creative one, but it was still a nickname. Immediately, he thought back to how Charlie and Vanessa had called him “Ty” in an attempt to persuade him to come. He felt particularly naïve because it was one of the many factors that had ultimately made him say yes to Eli. It was amazing the illusion of familiarity a simple shortening of someone’s name could create.

“Hello, all,” Eli said with a charm that came naturally to him and a smile like a secret—like it was meant for only you.

“Someone get English a drink!”

There was a part of him that felt bad about it, but Tyler was excited to watch Eli’s reaction to his first swig of whatever cheap, watery beer they had been able to pay someone to buy for them. Rachel, a girl from Tyler’s Calc class, handed Eli one of the red cups, and he nodded graciously before bringing it to his lips.

Tyler pulled out his camera and hit record. The poor, naïve bastard.

As if on cue, Eli made a choking noise and the beer likely traveled back upward, but he had the sense to clamp his lips shut so he didn’t spray everyone nearby. A few kids laughed and when Eli finally leaned back to swallow, he coughed. One of the guys, Scott Farland, patted him on the back.

“Now, guys, go easy on him,” Scott said. “Our English gentleman here probably doesn’t drink much. Too prim and proper for that sort of thing.”

Eli immediately scoffed, “I beg your pardon, but I could out-drink any of you lads—or ladies”—he winked in Rachel’s direction—“if given a proper ale or some wine. This is…swill!”

Tyler laughed.

Scott opened a new can and poured some of the contents into Eli’s cup. “It helps if you hold your nose,” he advised, probably only half kidding.

Someone offered Tyler a cup, and he reluctantly accepted. The “swill” wasn’t all that enticing, especially after watching Eli nearly choke on it, but he was here and it was what you were supposed to do at a party. Sometimes you had to suffer for your art, or at least, that’s what he told himself as he suffered through the first few sips before going back to documenting the party.

Most of the night revolved around Eli socializing with the others while Tyler just stood there, leaning against a tree, capturing it all on his camera. He was worried that someone would once again call him out or think he was being a creep, but no one really seemed to notice or care. At one point Sasha Ainsley caught sight of him recording, but instead of freaking out she drunkenly made kissing faces to the camera and started dancing.

Tyler was used to being the one observing while life was happening for those around him, usually through the lens of a camera. Even with both Vanessa and Charlie in attendance, Tyler found his attention drifting more toward Eli.

After a couple hours had passed, Eli suddenly seemed to remember that Tyler not only existed, but had also accompanied him to the gathering. He wandered over, leaning against the opposite side of the tree Tyler had been occupying. Tyler’s skin felt warm, his nerves tingling, and he took another sip of watered-down beer to ease them.

“Having fun with your new friends?” Tyler hoped he didn’t sound jealous.

“I am, in fact. Thank you.” Eli had the glazed eyes and the goofy smile of someone enjoying a pleasant buzz. His hair had also become more tousled throughout the course of the night, something Tyler couldn’t help but notice, and he had to admit, it was a good look on him. He looked carefree. Eli continued, “None of the people my own age back where I’m from ever seemed to care for me much, but here? Here I am highly sought after—a commodity even. I don’t think I’ll ever leave. I told you I could fit in!”

Tyler was caught somewhere between the fear that something terrible might happen if Eli were to stay and the fear of having Eli disappear and never getting to see him again. He didn’t really know the right thing to say in this situation, so rather than make an attempt, he forced down another, larger gulp of his “swill.”

Eli nodded across the way, a confused expression causing his brow to furrow. “Who are they?”

Tyler followed Eli’s gaze until his eyes landed on a pair of pretty girls holding hands. One had hair that special shade of black that almost gleamed blue in the sunlight, like ravens’ feathers, cut into a neat bob. She wore Doc Martens and an army jacket with a lace dress and ribbed tights. The other girl had honey-blond hair and eyes that were each a different color: one blue and the other a warm shade of brown that was nearly amber. They were both giggling, and the girl donning the army jacket moved to brush a blond curl out of the other girl’s eyes.

“That’s Trissa and Kat,” Tyler explained. The school hadn’t known that when they’d paired the girls together in the same dorm room they were actually playing matchmaker. The two had been inseparable for the past year and a half now.

Eli’s eyes were glued to the pair, fascinated. As the girls moved closer to each other, Eli added, “Are they also bisexuals?”

“No, they’re gay.”

“I can see that—they seem quite gay.”

Damn semantics. Tyler laughed.

“That’s not…they’re lesbians. It’s a term for girls who like other girls.”

“And by like, you mean that they prefer the company of other girls?”

“Yep.”

“Like in a romantic sense?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“So, is there a term then for men who strictly prefer the company of other men? Like bisexual or lesbians?”

“Yep. It’s…well, what I said before. Gay.”

“Ahh, I see.” Eli’s eyes were still wide and seemed bright as a young child learning about the world around him. “And this is genuinely accepted by your society?”

“People now…for the most part, if they’re decent people, have come to understand and accept that there are men who love men and women who love women. Same-sex marriage is legal here, and we have pride parades and festivals, celebrating a wide spectrum of sexualities aside from straight.”

“Straight?”

“A guy and a girl…man and a woman. Heterosexual. What most people would consider the norm or conventional. There are people who are more ignorant and think relationships should only be that way. There’s been a lot of progress—especially recently, but it’s hard to change people’s minds when they’ve already closed them off. Still, being gay or lesbian or bi is more accepted now then it was…say…in the nineteenth century.”

“Ahh,” Eli mused, “that’s very interesting.”

Tyler closed the viewing screen on his camera and shut it off. He figured it couldn’t hurt to turn off director mode and be a little social. Besides, Eli had yet to make any major faux pas, so he wasn’t exactly getting the “gold” he had initially been expecting anyway.

“The culture shock getting to you yet?”

Eli grinned, “Honestly, I think what’s the most shocking is seeing unmarried people kissing.”

“Is that really such a big deal where you’re from?”

“Well, it’s just…acts of affection are not done so…casually, so openly.”

“It’s just a kiss,” Tyler said, as if he truly believed it were that simple.

“Then show me.”

That definitely hadn’t been the response he was expecting.

“What?” Tyler asked, adjusting his glasses as if somehow his impaired vision was also affecting his hearing.

“You’re supposed to be showing me around this new world and helping me get acclimated to your customs. If kissing really is such a normal, casual occurrence, then prove it to me.” The corner of his mouth had quirked up. “Show me your ways.”

“You actually want me to kiss you? Are you sure?”

Eli smiled and nodded.

The rapid fluttering of his heart and the sweat making his palms sticky was completely contradicting the idea that kissing was nothing to get all worked up about. His first kiss was with Wendy Harrington in the fifth grade during a game of Truth or Dare. After that, throughout middle school he had had a couple “girlfriends” but each relationship lasted only a few months at most and mainly consisted of passing each other notes and having someone to go to school dances with than it did of any actual kissing. As soon as he got to high school he dedicated himself entirely to movies and filmmaking. He was so out of practice—what if he was a terrible kisser? From what he could tell, this would be Eli’s first kiss, and it would be Tyler’s first kiss with another guy. This could be terrible for both of them.

Tyler grabbed the back of Eli’s head in a way that he hoped looked cooler than it felt. He allowed his fingers to trace Eli’s soft curls before pulling his face in close and pressing their lips together. Soft but firm. Curious and inviting.

As Eli’s face slowly pulled away, the music, which was already fuzzy due to the quality of the speaker, blurred entirely, and the lines of the trees and the figures of other students became hazy. Tyler’s heart rate took off in a full gallop, and his breathing was stilted and uneven. Most people describe the feeling as butterflies right after you’re kissed, but these were more like fireflies. Not only were his insides jittery, but it felt like he was glowing from the inside out. For a few fleeting moments, it felt like he and Eli were the only two people in the woods.

But they weren’t. The sound of a glass beer bottle breaking snapped him back to reality. Everybody already knew he was bi, but he still felt oddly vulnerable with so many eyes on them. Some of the expressions on people’s faces were giddy, as if they were in a drunken state of euphoria, others (most of the girls at the party, actually) looked disappointed, but a few other expressions were horrified ones.

“Ew, Tyler,” Vanessa started. “Isn’t he like your cousin or something?”

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have forgotten that was the explanation he had given them? If he could have kept this story straight and just stuck with the exchange student thing, none of this would be happening right now.

The judgment from all their stares was searing into him, and it was more than he could take at the moment. He whirled around and started making his way out of the woods at a full sprint.

“Tyler…Tyler, wait!”

He heard the rustling and crunching of leaves as Eli chased after him. None of this was Eli’s fault—he hadn’t gotten the story mixed up—and he wasn’t mad at Eli. But he just knew he needed to get as far away from the party as fast as he could, so he continued running as fast as his legs could carry him, ignoring it when his chest tightened and his body screamed at him. He realized when it came time to climb the stairs just how dumb it had been to expend that much energy that quickly. He pushed through the exhaustion and bolted up to his floor until he was safe within the four walls of his own dorm room.

He collapsed onto his bed, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in his comforter and sheets and just disappear entirely. Eli had clearly been keeping a much more reasonable pace, and he heard the door creak open a few minutes later.

“Tyler? Tyler, what’s wrong? Was it…was it something I did?”

Tyler sat up. “No. It’s just…they think we’re cousins.”

Eli sat at the edge of Tyler’s bed. “So?”

Tyler scoffed. “I know this may be a little different in your time, but cousins, no matter how distant, are not supposed to kiss each other like that.”

“I think you are overreacting,” Eli said. “Most of the people at that party were so inebriated, I highly doubt they will even remember.”

“I hope so,” Tyler said, pulling off his glasses and rubbing his eyes, and he did. But right now the idea of this humiliation coming to an end felt far from possible.

“I am certain.” Eli smiled. “And now that you and I are alone…perhaps you could show me some other kissing techniques?”

Tyler’s cheeks felt hot. “Ya know…I’m just…I’m feeling pretty tired, so I think I’m just going to bed.”

“Oh, of course.” Eli said it quickly, but there was definitely disappointment in his tone. This time Tyler was sure of it.

Eli got up to turn off the bedroom light, and in the dark he began removing the articles of clothing he’d borrowed from Tyler. Tyler flipped over onto his side, his back facing Eli. He tried to force sleep to come, but it never did. If he focused hard, he could still feel Eli’s lips pressing against his.

And he still felt the fireflies.