I’m so happy when I can call it a night and head home. Although the rest of the day passed without a hitch, I feel differently now. The job no longer seems exciting and just leaves a bad taste in my mouth and has left with it a feeling of uncertainty. I know I can’t go back to my old job; I’ve moved on a lot since then, but what next?
My mind is so tied up in knots, it takes me a moment to register that things are different when I head inside my front door, but as my eyes adjust; the fear grips me.
Somebody’s been here.
It’s not apparent, but I know. Drawers and cupboards are left slightly open where I always shut them properly, it’s a particular gripe of mine with Ronnie who never closes anything. The cushions have been rearranged as if somebody has been searching for something and I just know that the house has been searched.
Immediately, I race upstairs to our bedroom and see evidence of a search there as well. Was it Ronnie? Did he come back for more things - the money?
Quickly, I move from room to room and see things out of place and my heart sinks. Whoever was here obviously didn’t find what they were looking for, which means it couldn’t be Ronnie unless it was the money he was after. He may have thought I hid it somewhere else and went looking. The trouble is, I don’t think it could have been him because why wouldn’t he just call and ask for it? Then again, he may be fearful of recriminations after what he did.
Thinking of Ronnie makes me sad. How did it all go so badly wrong? Why start an affair when things were good at home because they were? It’s only the last couple of years that things changed and now I know why. His letter begged me not to hate him, but how can I not? He has destroyed what we had and there’s no going back.
Then I think about the man who is after him, and my heart beats a little faster. If it was him, he may be back when I’m home and beat it out of me. Suddenly, I realise what a dangerous situation I’m in and my heart sinks and my knees tremble. I need to leave, but where?
I’m not sure why I even thought it was a good idea, but I reach for my phone and dial the number I should avoid at all costs. Even as I listen to it ring, I know I’ve made a big mistake, but something is telling me it’s the only solution. “What is it?”
His tone is as harsh as always and yet somehow the tears fall for a different reason his time.
With a break to my voice, I stutter, “I’m sorry, Julian, I’m in trouble.”
Immediately, I sense a change in tone as he says urgently. “Where are you?”
The tears refuse to stay hidden and I sob, “At home, but somebody’s been here.”
“I’ll be right there.”
He cuts the call and I sob with relief because if I need anyone right now, it’s my boss because I need a man of action and he is the sort who will get results and fast.
Wrapping my arms around me, I cry hard for the life I lost and the man that went with it. I cry for my own actions of the past few months and the broken dreams I held so high. I cry for the woman in me who thought she could do better, and I cry for the fact I’m so tired of it all.
It must be thirty minutes later, a loud banging on my door brings me to my feet and I hold my breath as I fear the reason for it. What if it’s Stuart and his thugs come to claim what’s theirs but then I hear a terse, “For God’s sake, Emma open the bloody door.”
The relief hits me hard as I stumble towards it and as I fling it open, I stare at the man I love to hate and the tears fall fast. He looks shocked and for some reason, his first instinct is to pull me towards him and wrap his arms around me, saying softly, “It’s ok, you’re safe now.”
Strangely, it doesn’t feel wrong being in his arms in the home I shared with Ronnie, which surprises me more than anything. He pulls away a little and says gently, “Tell me what happened.”
“The house, someone has been here. They’re searching for something and may come back.”
He looks around and says in surprise, “It looks ok to me.”
Feeling a little foolish, I shake my head and say weakly, “It’s a long story.”
Closing the door behind him, he takes my hand and pulls me into the living room and forces me to sit on the faded settee we’ve had for close on five years.
Sitting beside me, he takes my hand and squeezes it gently and says in a surprisingly gentle voice, “Then you had better start at the beginning.”
In a monotone voice, I tell him everything. About Ronnie, the arguments, the fact he left me and then Caroline’s visit and the story she told. When I reach the end, he shakes his head in amazement. “That’s a lot to deal with on your own.”
I nod miserably and he says firmly, “You can’t stay here, it’s not safe. Come, you can stay at the house tonight and then we’ll discuss a more permanent solution tomorrow.”
“But…” he places his finger on my lips and says with a hint of steel in his voice. “Don’t argue with me, Emma, and just do as you’re told. I’m not taking no for an answer. Grab your things and I mean enough for a month and we will make sure everything is sorted.
He pulls me up and I allow myself to be ordered around as I’m used to by now. It doesn’t take me long to pack a couple of suitcases and as he loads them into his car, I take a long, lingering look at the house that holds so many memories.
Then I turn the key on my past and walk towards an uncertain future.