The Morning After

Bong! He jolted into an upright position, heart pounding like a bongo in his chest. A morning time of six o’clock illuminated from the digital clock on his nightstand. Remnant moonlight was peeping through Jerrod’s blinds, revealing shadows of wall poster images of his track hero, Maurice Greene, who, between the 2000 and the 2004 Olympics, brought home two gold, one silver, and one bronze medal.

“Not again,” Jerrod whispered.

This wasn’t the first time he had been jarred by what sounded like the magnified chiming of the pinewood grandfather clock that stood in the corner of Essie Mae Richardson’s living room. The first time the sound interrupted his sleep was just a few minutes before Essie’s unconscious body was found lying peacefully in her bed. And just minutes after that, she was gone.

Jerrod had experienced the unsettling occurrence only twice since then. The first time was the day before the news broke that everyone at Colin’s job was under the microscope as a suspect for embezzlement. At that time, Jerrod made no connection between the sounding of the clock and Colin’s dilemma. Then it happened again.

The day before Jerrod was subpoenaed to testify at the trial that ultimately sent Big Dog Freddie Townsend, leader of the Dobermans, to prison, the echoing bong jerked him from his sleep at about this same time of morning. That was when he began identifying the clock with life-altering happenings. Jerrod had hoped to never hear it again, but here it was for a fourth time.

Fatigue enveloped him, but Jerrod was too frightened to remain in bed. With a single sweep of his arm, he removed his covers and slid onto the floor, kneeling. The whole scenario behind the grandfather clock terrified him. There was no way that he was really hearing it chime. Not when the clock was in the house next door. The homes in the Braxton Park development were well-constructed concrete dwellings, and Jerrod’s bedroom was on the end of his house that was farthest from Essie’s house. The likelihood of him actually hearing the clock’s chiming was practically impossible.

But make no mistake about it; he was hearing something. And whatever it was, Jerrod had come to believe that when he heard it, major things would soon follow.

“Lord, please don’t let nobody that I love be getting ready to die, and please don’t let Freddie or none of the other big dogs be done busted out of jail and looking for me,” he prayed. The thought of the latter brought micro beads of sweat to Jerrod’s brow. He remembered very well the “mean mugging” that Freddie, Devion, and Adrian had given him from their seats in the defendants’ chairs as he sat on the witness stand, trying not to wet his pants.

Before she died, Essie had promised Jennifer that the Lord would be with Jerrod if he were called to testify. But to the then fourteen-year-old, although he saw his mother and T.K. sitting in the courtroom supporting him, it felt like he was all alone with a big red target drawn between his eyes. While Jerrod gave up all the information he knew regarding the Dobermans, fear gripped him like an eagle carrying his doomed prey in clenched claws. But in the midst of his turmoil, something good resulted. Without even realizing it, Jerrod was introduced to effectual fervent prayer.

During the weeks of that trial, he prayed harder than he’d ever done in his life. Not the regular “Now I lay me down to sleep” prayers that Jennifer had taught him as a toddler; but Jerrod poured everything he had, including his tears, into his words as he kneeled beside his bed at night. Some nights after he talked to God, he’d sit on the edge of his mattress and talk to Essie. Jerrod had been such a wayward boy that he couldn’t help but wonder if God was even listening to him. He didn’t know if Essie would listen to him either. He’d been deeply hurt and angered by her sudden passing, and the result of that rendered times that he reverted back to his former self—days that he lashed out at his mother, T.K., Colin, Mason, his teachers, and everybody else who dared to try to tell him that “God doesn’t make mistakes,” or “It was just time for Ms. Essie to go.”

Everything he’d promised Essie that he’d do: behave in school, study harder, obey his mother, respect his elders . . . all of it was tossed in a hole, much like the handful of dirt that Angel’s parents ritualistically sprinkled in the six-foot-deep ditch that Essie’s casket had been lowered into.

“Ms. Essie,” Jerrod had said one night, eyes full of tears, as he looked upward through the darkness of his bedroom, “I know you all happy up there and everything, being that you done been reunited with Mr. Ben and all, but can you take a break away from him long enough to go talk to God for me? Please, Ms. Essie. You gotta know that I wouldn’t disturb you if it wasn’t important, but I really need you to do this for me. Please ask God if He’ll help me through this. I’m scared. I ain’t never been scared like this before. I know a lot is riding on what I tell those people in the courtroom. If I get so scared that I don’t say all the stuff that needs to be said, Big Dog Freddie will be let go. And if he don’t get locked up, I know he’ll kill me. He’ll probably kill my mama too. Please ask God to help me, Ms. Essie. Please. If He gets me out of this, I swear—” Essie had taught him never to swear. “I mean, I promise I won’t never get involved in nothing like this no more. I won’t never let nobody call me Puppy J or even Big Dog J. And you know how all the dudes at school call each other dog just in regular conversation? Well, I won’t call nobody that, and I won’t let them call me that either. Shoot, Ms. Essie . . . if you get God to get me out of this, I won’t never in my whole life even own a dog as a pet.”

He rambled out those promises months ago, but Jerrod remembered it like it was yesterday. He didn’t know if Essie had actually gone to the Master on his behalf, or if God had heard his prayers directly. But when the court convened again, Ms. Shepherd, still bruised and barely able to talk through her constant flow of tears, was wheeled into court by her fiancé and took the stand to testify against her attackers. The jury only took an hour to bring back their guilty verdicts. Freddie and his partners in crime had gotten twenty-five years to life for the gang rape and brutal assault of Ms. Shepherd.

Jerrod was glad that God had answered that prayer, and he was happy that Colin escaped punishment for the misdeeds of his colleague too, but now he had heard the chime again, and the knot in the pit of his stomach told him that the next big thing was about to happen.

“Lord, I done kept all my promises.” From his bent-knee position, Jerrod yawned, but his prayer was sincere. “I been doing good in school, obeying Ma, respecting my teach—” His mind darted to Mr. Greene and the things he’d said about him just yesterday as he sat and talked with T.K. Was God getting ready to punish him or somebody he loved because of what he thought about that old geezer? Jerrod didn’t know what to say or do. He could tell God that from now on, he’d have nothing but nice words and thoughts concerning Mr. Greene, but who would he be fooling? Not God; that’s for sure.

“Okay, Jesus, here’s the deal.” Surely with him being a minor, the Lord would be a little bit flexible. “I’ll try to do better about Mr. Greene. I won’t make no promises I can’t keep, but I’ll make an effort to do like Coach D says and just not let him get under my skin. I promise to do that. Please . . . just don’t let nothing bad be getting ready to go down.”

At some point during his prayer, fatigue took over and Jerrod fell asleep. Knocks to his bedroom door awakened him two hours later.

“Jerrod, are you up yet? Are you dressed? Can I come in?”

Jerrod scrambled to his feet at the sound of Jennifer’s muffled voice coming from the other side of his door. He massaged his aching knees, and then slipped back into the bed, pulling up the comforter so that it hid him from the waistband of his boxer shorts down. “Come on in, Ma.”

When Jennifer walked in, Jerrod was confused by her stylish appearance. She wore a floral, silk, strawberry blouse and black slacks. Her hair had been neatly styled in an updo that showed off her high cheekbones, and her face was softened by the hairs of her bangs. It was Saturday morning. Jennifer never dressed up on Saturday morning unless....

“You and Coach going somewhere?” Jerrod asked.

“Going out to breakfast,” she said. “You know it’s after eight o’clock, right? Are you gonna help Angel finish packing up Ms. Essie’s things?”

“Oh!” Jerrod kicked away the covers and jumped up. He had told Angel that he’d meet her over there at seven-thirty this morning. They were going to get some things boxed up to be placed in the storage space she’d rented until she made a permanent decision on what to do with them. “I’m coming. I just gotta brush my teeth and wash my face. Tell her I’ll be over there in a minute, will you, Ma? I overslept.” Jerrod darted past his mother and into the bathroom across the hall.

“Well, don’t kill yourself.” Jennifer laughed. “Wish I could get you that excited about cleaning up your own room.”

“I’m gonna clean that up today too,” Jerrod vowed while looking at his red eyes in the bathroom mirror. His room was almost always messy. “I’ll do it when I get done with helping Ms. Angel.”

“You don’t have homework?”

“I only had science,” he reported through the closed door. “I did it last night.”

“Okay,” Jennifer called back. “I have to get going, but on the way out, I’ll tell Angel that you’ll be over soon.”

Jerrod was just about to put his toothbrush in his mouth when he stopped to ask, “You ain’t gotta keep Austin-Boston today?”

“Colin has him.”

“He ain’t had to work today?”

“Angel said he went into the office, but he’s not really on the clock. Colin’s just catching up on some stuff and insisted on taking Austin with him, saying it wouldn’t be a problem. No babysitting for me today.”

“Oh. Okay.”

A moment of silence passed, during which time, all Jerrod could hear were the bristles of his toothbrush grinding against his enamel.

“Jerrod?”

Jerrod winced a little. He thought Jennifer had already left. Spitting the mint-flavored paste from his mouth, Jerrod answered, “Ma’am?”

“I may have a surprise for you when I get back.”

“Surprise?” Speckles of white foam jumped from his mouth and landed on the mirror as he spoke. Jerrod used his washcloth to erase it. “What is it?”

Jennifer’s laugh could be heard echoing from somewhere near the front of the house. “Now if I told you, it wouldn’t really be a surprise, would it?”

Jerrod smiled to himself. He wasn’t as clueless as his mother thought, but he played along anyway. “I guess not.”

“See you in a couple of hours,” she said.

“A’ight.”

It only took Jerrod a few minutes to freshen up and pull on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt that showed his track team spirit. It tickled him to think that T.K. and Jennifer didn’t give him more credit than they did. He wasn’t a kid anymore. Approaching sixteen and with only two years to go in high school, he’d have to be pretty dim-witted not to know that his mother and his track coach were a serious item. Although Jerrod had made a conscious effort not to build up false hope, Jennifer’s little surprise was one that he’d been wishing for ever since it became clear to him that she and T.K. were more than friends. He wasn’t stupid. Jerrod knew that what his mother was going to bring back home with her was T.K. And what the two of them were going to announce was their engagement.

“That would be so cool!” Jerrod’s voice bounced off his bedroom walls. He would like nothing more than to see the two of them make it official. T.K. would make a great addition to their family, and Jerrod would finally have the father he’d always wanted. “I’ll bet that would make Ms. Essie smile.”

His spoken words brought him back to the reality that Angel was waiting. As soon as he finished tying his shoestrings, he bounded out the front door and scurried up the steps of what used to be Essie’s home. He stopped on the porch and looked up into the sky. This time, it wasn’t about having reservations about entering the house; he was just noting the rain clouds that loomed above.

“Hey, Jerrod.” When he entered the house, Angel greeted him with kind words, but her smile was void of its usual warmth. She still looked good though. Jerrod couldn’t remember a time that he’d seen her in shorts before.

“Hi, Ms. Angel,” he said, making an effort to keep his eyes fixed on her face and away from her perfect legs. Her solemn look made Jerrod wonder if she were displeased with his failure to keep his word. “I overslept. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be late.”

“It’s okay, sweetie.” Jerrod basked in the sound of her term of endearment. If he were a few years older, he’d give Colin a reason not to like him. “You’re just in time,” she continued. “I’ve been working on putting away all of Ms. Essie’s towels and washcloths.” Angel pointed down the hall that led to the open linen closet. “I had no idea she had so many of them.”

Jerrod shrugged. “Well, maybe she bought them for other folks.”

“What other folks?”

“I don’t know. Whatever other folks needed them, I guess. I told you she knew everything. Maybe she knew people like me would be coming over and would need towels.”

Angel tilted her head. “People like you? What do you mean? You and Jennifer needed towels?”

“No, not me and Ma. Just me.” Jerrod couldn’t help but laugh a little at the recollection of it all. “Ma had locked me out of the house one night when I stayed out past my curfew.”

Angel sat on the couch in the living room, making herself comfortable, like Jerrod was getting ready to tell a long and gripping story. Her eyes were wide with anticipation. “Really? What happened? You came over and stayed with Ms. Essie?”

“Believe me, I didn’t want to. But I didn’t have much of a choice. Like I said, Ma locked me out, and this was one of those times when she really did what she said she was gonna do if I didn’t get home in time.” Jerrod sat too. “It was raining so hard that night that I saw animals walking down the street in pairs, headed for the ark.”

Angel giggled. Jerrod was glad that she wasn’t as somber now as she had been when he arrived. “What happened? Did you have to settle for knocking on Ms. Essie’s door?”

Shaking his head in protest, Jerrod said, “Nah. I probably would’ve slept on the porch before I did that. Ms. Essie heard me calling for Ma to open our house door. I guess since I wasn’t getting the message that it was never gonna happen, Ms. Essie came out and told me to come over. I ended up crashing here that night.”

Angel looked at the phone that still sat on a stand near the grandfather clock. “Why didn’t you just call your mother from here? You know . . . to wake her up so she would open the door.”

“Ms. Essie wouldn’t let me,” Jerrod revealed. “She said it was too late to be calling anybody that time of night. I think we both knew that Ma wasn’t really asleep. She heard me knocking; she just wouldn’t open the door. It was her way of putting her foot down, I guess.”

“So Ms. Essie let you sleep here? That was nice of her.” Angel’s eyes smiled. Jerrod could tell that she was having other fond memories of Essie.

“Yeah, it was,” he agreed. “That’s when I found out that although Ms. Essie was old and all, she was still cool. She brought out fresh towels, let me bathe in her guest bathroom, lent me something to sleep in, gave me some peach cobbler, talked to me for a while, and then let me sleep right there.” Jerrod pointed at the couch where Angel was sitting.

“One thing I’ve never known Ms. Essie to do is to let anybody go to bed hungry,” Angel said.

Jerrod rubbed his stomach. “Ms. Angel, that peach cobbler was slammin’.” A rush of sadness threatened to cloud Jerrod’s pleasant memories, but he smiled it away. “I sure do miss talking to her.”

Standing from the sofa, Angel smoothed out her shorts and turned away from Jerrod. “Me too.” Jerrod was sure that he heard sadness in her tone, but before he could say anything, Angel spoke again. “I put a big empty box in her closet. You mind taking the things from the hangers, folding them up, and placing them in the box?”

“Sure, Ms. Angel,” Jerrod said.

She never did turn back to face him before walking down the hall. “Thanks,” she called over her shoulder. “Call me if you need me.”

Jerrod stepped out onto the porch for a bit of fresh air. Things sure felt different without Essie around. The rocking chair she used to sit in daily remained on the front porch, but now, it always sat still. If he concentrated hard enough, Jerrod was certain that he would be able to hear Essie humming. All of her favorite songs seemed to surround the theme of God’s perfect timing, but Jerrod couldn’t recall any of the words. He wished that he’d asked Essie to teach him some of those songs before she died. Had he known she was going to go, he would have.

The pounding of feet against the sidewalk snatched his attention and he turned to see Elaine rounding the corner of Braxton Way. She must have been finishing up her Saturday morning run.

“Hey, Ms. Elaine.” With her Walkman strapped to her arm and with earphones plugged into her ears, Jerrod knew she hadn’t heard him, but his waving arms got her attention.

“Hey, you,” she said, breathless, slowing her pace to a brisk walk and pulling the plugs from her ears. “You and Angel still packing?”

“Yeah. Yes, ma’am,” he corrected himself. “We were gonna load some things in Ms. Angel’s car and take them to storage. Looks like the rain might catch us though.”

Elaine looked upward. “Looks like,” she agreed. “Tell Angel that she can call me if she needs any additional help. I can break away from the computer for a little while if she needs me to.”

“A’ight. I’ll tell her.” Elaine never stopped moving, and by the time Jerrod gave his last response, she’d already passed the house.

Jerrod watch Elaine’s hips sway in quick, choppy motions as she pumped her arms and eventually disappeared down the hill that would lead to her home. He had to admit that Elaine had a nice shape too, but not like Angel’s. He had never viewed Elaine to be as pretty as Angel, but there was a time when Jerrod thought Elaine’s body had the better curves. But that was before Angel lost her post pregnancy weight, and when Elaine was probably fifteen pounds heavier than she was now. Now, to Jerrod, Elaine was too small, bordering on skinny. As an athlete, he believed in staying in shape as much as the next person, but everybody had an ideal weight, and as far as he was concerned, Elaine had crossed over her line at least ten pounds ago.

Wandering back into the house, Jerrod headed straight for his duties. He hadn’t been inside Essie’s bedroom since the night she died, and he found himself beleaguered at the sight of the bed in which she drew her last breath. Jerrod closed his eyes, swallowed, and then escaped to the closet. Though the confined space was much smaller, it wasn’t nearly as smothering. One by one, he took each garment—mostly dresses—down and gingerly folded each before placing them in the open box.

The closet smelled like Essie. The air in it carried that same hint of a lightly scented perfume body lotion that Essie used to wear. The aroma seemed to percolate from the fibers of her clothing, awakening Jerrod’s nostrils and filling his head with more memories. One item of clothing, in particular, demanded his undivided attention. He pulled it from its hanger and held it for a long while.

“Everything okay in here, Jerrod?” Angel asked. He hadn’t even seen her approach the closet doorway.

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered. Then turning to her, Jerrod held up the article and added, “Can I have this?”

Angel stepped closer and pulled the material from his grasp. Her inspection was brief, having identified the faded grey garment almost immediately. “This used to be Mr. Ben’s nightshirt,” she said. “It has to be sixty years old, at least. Ms. Essie made it for him and kept it because it helped her feel close to him. You like it?”

“It’s the shirt she let me wear the night she called me in from the rain and let me sleep on her couch,” Jerrod revealed. “She told me that I was the first man to wear it in over sixty years. I guess that means I was the last man to wear it too. I’ll pay you for it if you want me to,” he offered. “I’d just like to have it, if you don’t mind.”

Angel embraced Jerrod and smiled upon releasing him. “Of course I don’t mind, Jerrod. But I wouldn’t dare let you pay me for this. It was just going to get stored away just like everything else. I’m sure Ms. Essie would want you to have it.”

“Thanks.” It was at that moment that Jerrod noticed the colorful mass that was draped over Angel’s shoulder. He gasped. “The blanket!”

“Yeah.” Angel smiled and held up the knitted pink and blue blanket that Essie had finished crafting just before her death. “I found it in the closet with the towels and bed linen. I think Colin placed it there. I know he came here a day after she made her transition and did some cleaning. He washed the bed linen that she died on and then placed it back on the bed once he pulled it from the dryer. He told me that the blanket was crumpled on the bed along with her covers when he came in, so he must have washed it too, and put it away.”

Remembering clearly, Jerrod nodded. “Yeah. I had put the blanket over her body when the paramedic announced that she was dead. I guess when they moved her they just left the blanket there.” He looked at Angel with hopeful eyes. “Are you gonna keep it?”

“Why? Do you want this too?”

“Oh, Ms. Angel. I’d love to have the blanket if you don’t want it.” Jerrod reached out and touched the linked yarn as he spoke.

After a slight pause, Angel said, “I’ll tell you what. When Ms. Essie was living, we were all touched by this blanket in some way. So instead of any one of us keeping it, why don’t we all share it?” She handed the blanket to Jerrod. “I’ll let you take it first. You and Jennifer can keep it for a while, and then you can pass it on, how’s that? That way this will be like the tangible link that we all have to Ms. Essie’s memory.”

Jerrod could barely contain his excitement when he took the blanket from Angel’s grasp. When his hand made contact with it, he almost felt like he had just touched Essie . . . or that she’d just touched him. “Cool! Thanks. I promise to take good care of it.”

“I know you wi—”

An unexpected knock at the screen door, accompanied by a roll of thunder, invaded their conversation, and Angel headed to the front of the house with Jerrod following close behind.

“Hey, guys.” It was T.K.

“Hey, yourself,” Angel said, unlocking the screen door and allowing him to step inside. “What blew you on our side of town this morning?”

“You act like you never see me on this end or something.”

T.K. laughed. “I got reasons to be in Braxton Park now, you know.”

Snickering, Angel replied, “I know.”

Jerrod held his hand out. “’Sup, Coach D?”

“Not too much, kid. How’s it going?”

Jerrod wasn’t nearly as surprised to see him as Angel was. He knew his favorite teacher was going to show up, but so as not to mess up the little scheme that T.K. and Jennifer had cooked up, he kept his excitement under wraps and acted unprepared. “It’s all good. Just helping out Ms. Angel.”

“I see.” T.K. accepted Jerrod’s handshake, and then pulled him in for a quick hug.

Clearing his throat, Jerrod stifled a grin and hoped that his voice wasn’t sounding anxious. “So y’all back already, huh?” T.K.’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Y’all, who? Back from where?” Okay, so T.K. was going to make him work for it.

“You and Ma, silly. I was expecting breakfast to last longer than that. Y’all ate pretty fast.”

“What are you talking about, Jerrod?” The lines in T.K.’s forehead deepened. “I didn’t have breakfast with Jen. I came here looking for her.”