Chapter 28
Colin’s Story
Last night, for the first time in his four-year marriage, conflict had forced him to sleep separately from his wife. Not only had Colin not slept in the same bed with Angel, he hadn’t even slept in the same house with her. And not only had he not slept in the same house with her; he hadn’t slept at all. Most of the night—or what was left of it—had been spent pacing the floor, calling Angel’s cell phone, and praying that this disastrous ordeal wouldn’t destroy their union. When Colin wasn’t pacing, phoning, or praying, he was lying in bed staring up at the ceiling, asking himself what on earth had he done. The blaring of his alarm clock at 6:00 A.M. was more than unnecessary. He wasn’t even close to being asleep, but his body ached with fatigue. A just punishment for walking in the house only three hours earlier.
Colin immediately retreated to his office upon arrival to Wachovia Bank, and the first thing he did was send Nona an e-mail with strict instructions that he was not to be disturbed for any reason. Nona’s e-mail reply to him went unanswered.
Okay, Mr. Stephens; I’ll be sure to take messages and let callers know that it may be tomorrow before you can get back to them.
Is everything all right? I hope this doesn’t have anything to do with last night. Once again, I do apologize for not waking you. I’m crossing my fingers that you didn’t get into any trouble with Mrs. Stephens. Whenever you’re ready to talk, your big sister is here.
It angered Colin that Nona didn’t know any better than to use their corporate system to send an e-mail with such a strong personal undertone. If it were ever read by anyone, it could easily be misconstrued. Put off by her carelessness alone, Colin deleted the message without the courtesy of a reply. Maybe he was treating her unjustly. Maybe Nona deserved an answer. But deserving or not, she wasn’t going to get it. Not today anyway. Colin couldn’t think of anything that he wanted to do less than talk to his big sister about the issue that may have permanently torn apart his family. Talking to her was what had gotten him in trouble to begin with. He wasn’t exactly blaming her, but Nona was the last person Colin wanted to see or speak to.
He’d only left his office twice today: to visit Elaine in the hospital during his lunch hour, and then at five when he shut down his computer for the day. Both times, he managed to avoid direct contact with his assistant.
Worry had kept Colin alert enough to get through his shift, but worry had also left much undone. At half past four, when he packed his briefcase and turned off his office lights, there were still phone calls that needed to be made, e-mails that needed to be answered, and paperwork that needed to be completed. But none of that was more important than finding and talking to Angel. Colin shook his head every time he thought about his idiocy.
When he walked in the house in the wee hours of the morning and found his wife waiting up for him, Colin didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know what to say. Angel was seething, and she had every right. Even the late, great Johnnie Cochran couldn’t have created a defense for Colin that his wife would have bought. A man walking in the house at three in the morning only meant one thing as far as Angel was concerned. She’d used words to describe him that he’d never heard her say before. She called him unfaithful, an adulterer, a liar; even a lowdown, cheating dog. Every verbal assault was excruciating. A lashing with a bullwhip couldn’t have been more painful.
As wrong as Colin knew he had been for spending the unnecessary time with Nona, he was honest when he told Angel that having an illicit affair with his assistant had never even been a consideration. When she shoved his stained shirt in his face, Colin’s mind was racing so fast that he couldn’t even come up with a viable defense for the lipstick on his collar or the exotic perfume smell in the fabric. And his reason for walking in the house at such a dastardly hour—though true—sounded ridiculous even to his own ears. I just fell asleep by mistake was about the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard, so he sure couldn’t expect Angel to accept it.
Colin made a valiant effort to explain his side of the story, but Angel wasn’t even coming close to hearing it. He wasn’t given a fair trial. His wife wasn’t only the prosecuting attorney; she also served as both judge and jury. Every objection he tried to implement was overruled; every defense he voiced was met with contempt. She had already deliberated his case and handed down his guilty verdict before he even walked in the door. Her suitcase was already packed, and though Colin didn’t notice it when he first arrived, their son had already been brought out of his bedroom and was sleeping on the sofa beside where Angel stood. Her uncharacteristic yelling awakened Austin, putting him in the middle of a war zone that he was far too young to have been exposed to. And when Angel stormed out the door with the suitcase in one hand, she had their wailing son perched on the opposing hip. That was the last he’d seen of either of them. The punishment felt like a life sentence.
Now, as he exited the interstate and merged onto the access road that would lead him to home, Colin sought heaven for an appeal. He needed a retrial and he needed it fast. Every hour that passed without Angel knowing the full truth was an hour that wasn’t working in his favor. He had to find her; get her to listen to him. Colin had to redeem himself. If she’d just give him ten minutes—even five would do—Colin knew he could say the words that would put his marriage back on the right track.
He looked toward Essie’s home upon turning into Braxton Way and felt the urge to stop. Colin parked his car on the side of the road in front of the house. He got out of the car and walked the length of Essie’s property; strolling down one side of the yard and back up the other side. This was the most time he’d spend on the land since the morning after Essie died; when he came with neighbors and friends to hold a candlelight memorial in honor of her life.
“Hey. I thought that was your truck that I saw through my bay windows.”
Colin was standing near the edge of Essie’s lawn, staring blankly at the strip of empty land across the street when he heard Jennifer’s call. He turned to see her standing on her porch wearing a white Baby Phat T-shirt, green knee-length shorts, her hair pulled in a ponytail with bangs covering her forehead, and no shoes. She looked like little more than a teenager.
“Iota Phi Lambda in the house,” she said with a laugh. Then she put the tips of her index fingers together to form an upside down “V” and struck a camera-ready pose.
It was the first time he had ever heard her mention being in a sorority. Thus the green and white ensemble, Colin assumed.
He grinned in approval. She looked nice, but probably not as nice as his companionship-starved eyes made her look. “I see,” he replied. He cleared his throat and reeled in his thoughts. “I didn’t scare you by parking so close to your house, did I?”
“No, you didn’t scare me. I knew it was your vehicle. I was just wondering whether it was you or Angel that was driving it.”
“Well, it’s me.” Colin shifted his feet, wondering if Jennifer knew what had happened between him and his wife.
“Are you coming to pick up Austin-Boston? Angel left him with me as soon as I got home from work today. She was over there at the house when I arrived, and she said she’d be back soon. She knows I have an appointment this evening. When I saw you, I figured her visit with Elaine at the hospital was running later than expected, and she asked you to stop by and pick up the baby.”
Colin relaxed. Not only because Jennifer obviously didn’t know about his marital discord, but because God had already answered a portion of his prayers by giving him the opportunity to see his son. He should have known that the hospital was where Angel would be. She and Elaine had gotten quite close over the past year. “Yeah, I’m here to pick him up.” It wasn’t a lie. That may not have been what he’d originally come for, but it was what he was there for now. “Is he asleep?”
“I fed him a little while ago,” Jennifer said as she nodded her head. “He ate real well, so I knew it wouldn’t take long before he was out like a light. I’ll go wake him up and get him ready.”
Colin looked toward Essie’s house and suddenly had an uncanny urge to go inside. “Hey, Jennifer?” She turned to face him. “Do you have a key to the house? I haven’t been inside in a while. While you get Austin ready, I’d like to take a look around.”
“Yeah, I have one,” she answered. “It’s really Jerrod’s.” Colin noticed the way her eyes saddened when she said her son’s name, but she stuck out a brave chin when she added, “Let me run and get it. I’ll be right back.”
It only took her a minute to return. At first, Colin wasn’t going to say anything about Jerrod, but when he reached to receive the key from Jennifer’s hand, he couldn’t resist. “How’s Jerrod doing? T.K. told me that he found him. Is he back home yet?”
Jennifer didn’t seem to mind his prying. “Not yet. I haven’t had the chance to speak to him, but T.K. says he’s doing okay. He’ll be staying in Stone Mountain until Sunday evening.”
“He couldn’t be in better hands.” Colin’s words were genuine, and Jennifer nodded like she agreed wholeheartedly.
“I know. I’m not worried about him. Not as long as he’s with T.K.”
Colin hesitated. He knew that with his next words, he was taking a risk. But he said them anyway. “Listen, Jennifer. Don’t take this the wrong way, okay? I know you’re a grown woman who is fully capable of making her own decisions, but I really wish you’d rethink this whole thing with T.K.” When her face didn’t cringe into an angry scowl, Colin figured it was safe to continue. “I can’t even begin to tell you how hurt he was, and still is, about the way you ended things. T.K. is an exceptional man, and he really cares about you. I don’t know how you feel about this other dude, but I know how you feel about T.K. Donaldson. I’ve seen the two of you together, and I know what’s in your heart for him. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t believe for a minute that this other guy is any match for T.K.” Colin sighed. “Okay, maybe I’m being biased. I mean, T.K. is my friend, and I’ve never even met Jerrod’s father, but like I said . . . correct me if I’m wrong.” Colin watched a wet trail quietly make its way down each of Jennifer’s cheeks before she whisked them away. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Don’t apologize, Colin.” Jennifer wiped her face again.
“You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking or how I could have treated T.K. so badly. I messed up real bad, and I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t.”
Colin knew that feeling all too well. He propped his right foot on the bottom step that led to her porch. “You may not be able to take it back, but you can at least try to reach out to him.”
“I did.”
“And what? He won’t talk to you?” Colin knew that feeling all too well too.
Jennifer shook her head in protest. “No, that’s not it. That’s my appointment. I have to drive over to Stone Mountain in a couple of hours to talk to them.”
“Well, that’s a good thing, right?”
“I don’t know.” Jennifer shrugged her shoulders, then folded her arms in front of her. “T.K. thinks that I’m only coming to apologize to Jerrod about the sloppy way I sprung everything on him about his dad and me.”
“And you’re not?” Colin’s interest was piqued.
“Yes. But that’s not all I want to talk to him about.” A light breeze brushed past them. Jennifer combed her fingers through her bangs to correct what had been ruffled; then refolded her arms. “I want to tell them both how stupid I was and what a big fool I made of myself. I want to tell them that I want things back the way they were. With both of them.”
Colin’s eyebrows rose. “You want to get back with T.K.? You mean it’s over between you and this other cat . . . for good?”
A frown furrowed Jennifer’s brow, and her eyes dropped to her bare feet. “I ended everything with him today. There wasn’t really anything to end,” she continued. “Nothing genuine, at least. He never loved me, and I never loved him either. When I took an honest look at my heart, I knew it never belonged to him. I was just taken in by what he was offering, not even questioning why he was offering it.”
“What was he offering?” Colin couldn’t imagine that Jerrod’s father could offer Jennifer anything that T.K. couldn’t match and supersede.
“A family.” Jennifer’s arms dropped by her side. “I want a real family so bad that I was willing to risk everything. But when it came down to it, Devon didn’t want a family, he was only interested in the benefits that making us a family would bring. He had dollar signs in his eyes.”
Colin was confused. “You got money?” His blurted words didn’t quite sound right, and he was just about to offer clarity when Jennifer burst into laughter.
“No. I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant is that Devon saw fame and fortune in Jerrod’s future. He was just making an early investment because he knew that if he showed up at my doorstep later on, after all these years, I would have seen right through the façade. If he staked his claim now, then he’d already be in the picture to reap the inevitable benefits.”
“You mean the benefits of Jerrod’s track skills?” It all made sense to Colin now.
“Yeah. He knows that colleges are already waiting on Jerrod, and the news features on television and in the newspaper told him that Jerrod’s competing for the Olympics was just a matter of time. He’s been living in Atlanta for years, but never even made his presence known until he found out what his son had the potential to become. Devon was really using us.” She shook her head. “He’s always been a user; just in it to get what he wants, and then he moves on. I guess it was wishful thinking that made me believe he’d changed from the person he was when we were teenagers.”
Colin could hear the regret in her voice. “How’d you find out?”
Jennifer paused and looked toward Essie’s house before responding. “God revealed it to me. It’s a long story, but I’m just glad that He opened my eyes before it was too late. Even if T.K. doesn’t take me back—which I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t—I’m glad I found out the truth before I made the biggest mistake of my life.”
Colin nodded silently. He could write the book on biggest mistakes. He looked skyward at the faint sound of a thunder roll. “Let me go ahead and do this real quick. I want to get Austin-Boston out of your hair so you can get to your meeting tonight without getting caught in the rain. Just give me about ten minutes.”
“Okay. I’ll have him ready.” She assumed a bent knee position on the porch so that she was closer to Colin’s level and whispered, “Alarm code is 1130.” She returned to her full height and smiled. “Mr. Ben’s birthday was November thirtieth.”
Colin waited until Jennifer was inside her house before he headed next door. Once inside Essie’s home, he deactivated the alarm system and placed the door key on top of the floor model television set. He shoved his hands in the pockets of his slacks and looked around the spacious area. The shelves once cluttered with whatnots and photographs were empty, but the living room was still in place. Sealed and labeled boxes lined the floor in an orderly fashion, waiting to be transported to storage.
The house was quiet, but Colin could almost feel Essie’s presence. He walked to the far corner of the living room and touched the pinewood casing of the grandfather clock that had come to define the elderly woman who’d once lived there. Essie always talked about God’s perfect timing; often citing Ecclesiastes, third chapter as a biblical reference to support her belief. She said that God never made mistakes and that He knew everybody’s predicaments before they ever got into them. Essie declared that there wasn’t any problem too hard for God to solve; people just needed to have the patience to wait on Him to move in His own time. Now, more than ever, Colin hoped that she was right.
The kitchen looked almost untouched. Colin stood in the middle of it and viewed the big wooden spoon and fork that still hung over the stove, the stocked spice rack that was posted on the wall above the electric can opener, and the blue oven mitt and matching pot holder that lay on top of the microwave oven. The sink had two dishes inside: a cereal bowl and a spoon. Odd since no one had lived there in over a year.
Colin made his way back to the living room, having no idea why he’d come into the house or what he was looking for. He took slow steps toward the bedroom, feeling as if he were about to invade Essie’s privacy as he gave the door a cautious nudge. The hinges made a long, faint, creaking sound, and it almost seemed like the door opened all on its own. Colin’s push had been gentle, but the door opened fully; coming to a halt only when it hit the doorstop.
Colin didn’t walk into the space right away. From the doorway, he noted the country theme of the room. The same straw hat that hung on the wall above the headboard when Essie was alive was still in place. The large wooden rocking chair still sat in the corner near the head of the bed. Essie’s sewing machine remained to the immediate right, nestled between the door that led to the master bathroom, and the one that led to the closet. Colin took a few steps inside. The bed had been disturbed. The patchwork quilt had been pulled away from the rest of the covers. That’s when it dawned on him. This had to be where Angel had fled. She and Austin had slept here.
Approaching the bed, Colin reached out and touched the pillow where he knew Angel’s head had lain. He’d bet anything that if he sniffed the fabric he’d be able to smell her hair products. Colin brought the pillowcase to his nostrils and inhaled. There it was. Just like he knew it would be.
Placing the pillow back where he found it, he took a seat on the mattress and buried his face in his hands. He was burdened with a mountain of regrets that he wished he could undo. “Lord, please forgive me for any wrongdoings; whether they were sins of commission or sins of omission. Forgive me for any ungodly thoughts that may have crept into my head and for any level of disrespect that I may have displayed toward my wife and son; intentional or not. Please soften Angel’s heart to forgive me, and help me to be patient with her. Whatever she’s going through that had caused her recent distance, you knew about it even before she began facing it. I ask that you do a work in both of us so that we can come together and talk rationally as man and wife. Help us to put you first and allow you to work out these unfamiliar issues that we’re facing. Put us on the right track so that we will please you in all that we do.”
Colin paused. He hadn’t planned on praying, but the words were pouring out like water from a fountain—the kind of fountain wherein children pitched pennies and made wishes that couldn’t possibly come true without the help of a miracle. “And Lord, please help me not blame Nona.” All day long, Colin had been having peculiar feelings about his assistant, and he didn’t know why. He didn’t want it to be brewing hatred prompted by his desire to point the accusing finger at her. It wasn’t her fault. Not completely anyway. “I’m sorry for not listening to your voice when you were clearly instructing me to place distance there; telling me that the relationship was leading to trouble. Lord, I take full responsibility for the consequences of my disobedience, but I ask that you have mercy, and grant me pardon for my hardheadedness. Let my insubordination not destroy my marriage and my family. Bring harmony to my home, and allow your peace that surpasses all understanding to rest and rule.”
The prayer was emotionally draining. Colin took a breath and concluded with, “It is in Jesus’ name that I ask all these things. And by faith, I thank you in advance for what you’re going to do . . . in your own time. Amen.”
When Colin opened his eyes, his sight locked onto a shoebox sized container that was sitting on the floor beside the bed, in front of the nightstand. It was a colorful box, and he didn’t know how he’d not seen it earlier. When he attempted to pick it up by the handle on the lid, the top lifted off instead. Colin’s first instinct was to replace the cover. Whatever was inside wasn’t any of his business. But the collection of photos and papers inside provided to be too tempting for him to ignore. He picked up the box and placed it on his lap. As he began thumbing through the contents, the first thing he noticed was the folded letter that Essie told Angel she read every night before going to bed. It was the last letter that her husband, Ben, had written her before he was killed in World War II. They’d found the letter clasped in Essie’s hand on the night that she died.
“That was some kind of love,” Colin whispered as he bypassed the letter and looked further.
The box was a treasure chest of mementos: more letters from Ben, outdated postage stamps, a silver cross necklace, the deed to Essie’s house, a man’s gold band that Colin assumed was Ben’s wedding ring, and several photos. A worn black and white photo of three girls grabbed his attention. The threesome appeared to be in their early teens and wore long dresses and hairdos that made them look like a wannabe version of The Supremes.
The words: Essie Mae, Lillie Pearl, and Annie Belle. Mama made our dresses and we thought we were too cute even for the camera, were written on the back. Colin laughed out loud. They all had the same smile, and even before flipping the photo over and reading the neat cursive scripting, he had guessed that they were Essie and her two older sisters. Even though the years had erased some of the details of the picture, it was easy to see that Essie had been the most attractive of the three.
Other photos included one with the words Buddy and Emma Jean written on the back. Those were the names of Essie’s parents. It looked to be more of a painting than a photograph. It had probably been retouched for preservation purposes. Her father sported a dark, aged suit and had a cigarette dangling out of the side of his mouth. Her mother, a heavyset woman, wore a nice, handmade dress and matching gloves. They made a handsome couple. Most of the other photographs were of people that Colin didn’t know, but one drew him in and held him. Something about the child in it looked oddly familiar. He brought it closer to his face to get a better view, then flipped it over.
Me and my only great-niece. She looks sweet, but she needs savin’ or else she’s gonna be the death of her Grandma Annie Belle.
Colin stood straight up, sending the box and its contents tumbling to the floor.