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PATHWAYS: FROM MOTHER TO MOTHER

Tadpoles are legless and never learn to curtsy

birds cannot pee

in spring

black snakes go crazy

bowing out of the presence of kings.

Digging beneath a river bed

whose heart is black and rosy

I find the sticky ooze I learned

rejecting all my angels.

It puzzled my unborn children

and they paused in my frightened womb

a decade or two long

breaking apart what was begun

as marriage. My mother wept.

Fleshy lemmings dropped like corn

into her hopper

popping as they hit the water

and hungry tadpoles

winnowed up my falls.

Wherever she wore ivory

I wear pain.

Imprisoned in the pews of memory

beneath the scarlet velvet

is a smile. My mother

weeping

gouts of bloody wisdom

pewed oracular and seminal as rape

pursues me through the nightmares

of this wonderland of early learning

where I wander cryptic as a saint

tightmouthed as cuttlefish

darting beneath and over

vital flaws unstitched like crazy patchwork

until analyzed and useless I

crest in a shoal of missing mommies

paid and made in beds of consecration

worshiped by rituals in which

I do not believe

nor find a place to kneel and rest

out of the storm of strangers and demands

drowning in flooded churches

thick with rot and swollen with confusion

lashed to a raft of grins aligned in an enemy reason

I refuse to learn again.

Item: birds cannot pee

and so they shat upon our heads

while we learned how

to bow

out

of the presence of kings.