“The thing about roads is sometimes you happen upon them again. Sometimes you get another chance to travel down the same path.”― Jill Santopolo, The Light We Lost
end of a dead-end street. Not a cute little cul-de-sac prevalent all over the suburbs today, just a dead end. It had a porch made of wood planks painted green and a matching green bench swing hanging from the ceiling. Two bedrooms, one bathroom—actually more of an indoor outhouse than a real bathroom. The kitchen had the only running water in the house.
Glamorous, it wasn’t. These days, it would probably be condemned. Maybe even then, if anyone with that kind of power had checked it out. No matter. My grandmother’s house was my favorite place in the world. It could’ve been a cardboard box. If Grandma was there, that was where I wanted to be.
Grandma always made me feel like I was the only one in her world. I knew that wasn’t true, but it never felt that way. She displayed all the things I made at Sunday school all over her house with pride and if I did some small chore for her, she would act like it was the best thing anyone had ever done.
We did everything together. We walked to the campus of James Madison University because I liked to see the smokestacks and the ducks. We walked to the Farm Bureau and Grandma would buy me stickers. I always tried to find stickers or a key chain that had my name on it. They never did. We walked to Midway, a little mom and pop grocery store behind her house. We walked everywhere. Grandma didn’t drive. Grandpa’s car sat in front of her house for years after he died. I’m not sure what ever happened to it.
That was a long time ago. Today, I’m standing in a big parking lot around where I think my grandmother’s house once stood. That same University Grandma and I would walk to when I was little, bought her house and paved it over to make a parking lot.
Her house is gone. And, the Midway. And, the dead-end street. And, the Farm Bureau.
And Grandma.
I sat down on the place I think my grandmother’s house once occupied and leaned against one of my car’s tires. The hard metal of the hubcap pressed into the back of my gray hoodie and the cold pavement seeped through my favorite pair of jeans. Under my hoodie was a button down shirt that had Crossroads Diner scrawled across the top left pocket and a bright pink and black logo on the back.
Over the course of the past eight months of building my dream, Tess's Cafe became the Crossroads Diner. Today was the grand opening.
Months of planning and work had led up to this point. I was excited and terrified, exhausted yet unable to rest. Happier than I've been in a long time, yet there was a hint of underlying sadness. Unable to do more than catch a few restless hours of sleep last night, I got up long before dawn and got ready. I left a note for Benny that I was getting an early start, then got in my Toyota – that still runs thanks to my uncle and brother – and left.
I'm not sure what led me to this place. It was a big day for me. But, the closer I got to opening, the more and more I thought about who wouldn't be there to see it. It didn't send me spiraling down a black hole but the feeling that they were missing was always at the back of my mind. It would creep up at odd times. I would think about how Leigh would love that the logo had a big hot pink X in it, and the splashes of pink that were strategically placed around the diner. My mom would have had a great time building the menu with Ruby and me and decorating with her clay pots and vases. Every time Benny or Uncle Rob did something to fix up the diner, I could picture my dad working right next to them. Grandma would've just been enjoying watching it all come together.
"I miss all of you. I wish you could be here. Please wish me luck."
Sighing, I pushed myself off the ground. It was time to get started.
***"Order for table 3 in the window."
Lexie picked up the order and smiled. "Things are going great," she said.
I smiled back. Things were going great. The grand opening had gone well but I knew people would come in for that out of shear curiosity. The test was if they kept coming in after the initial newness had worn off. We've been open for 63 days now (not that I was counting) and we had takeout orders from people picking up a breakfast burrito or sandwich on the way to work and the tables had stayed occupied throughout the morning. As the morning ended, there would be a brief lull but it wouldn't last long. We would be filling up again for lunch by 11:30.
When we opened, Lexie offered to be a server until we could get a staff hired. Now, two and half months later, Lexie hired two more servers and is managing the front end of the house.
"I'm going to start prepping for lunch," I said to Hugo. He gave me a thumbs up as he stood over the flat top finishing the last order we had from the breakfast rush.
The big man was an amazing find and I would forever be grateful to Luis for recommending him. Hugo and Luis were childhood friends but as they got older they went their separate ways in life. Luis of course became the head chef at The Olive Tree but Hugo didn't do so well. He ran into some trouble and did some time in prison. I don't know the details but I know he was able to work in the kitchen while he was there. It was a rough way to learn to cook but he made the most of it. When he got out, he looked Luis up and asked for help finding work. Vito took him on at The Olive Tree and Hugo did amazing by all accounts. So, when I wanted to bring someone on to run the kitchen at the Crossroads Diner, Luis and Hugo drove down. We chatted for hours. Hugo was a natural fit.
Without Lexie and Hugo, I know the Crossroads Diner would not be as successful as its been. If I was the heart of the place, they were its soul. In a way, all three of us were alike in our need for a fresh start. The diner gave us a focus for our life; it was something we could watch grow everyday. I had no doubt they loved the place as much as I did.
All of my friends at The Olive Tree had been hugely supportive. On the long list of people I had to thank for making this dream come true, they were at the top. Vito and his family had driven down from Northern Virginia a few times to see how progress was going, and he was never too tired or busy to answer my calls or texts when I had a question or problem.
Happily separating the hamburger meat I ordered from the Hallowell's farm into portions for hamburger patties and meatloaves and thinking about all the people I had to thank for making this happen, I didn't hear the footsteps behind me. But I did hear Hugo's bellowing voice.
"Hey, can I help you my man? Seating is out there." he said.
I turned around to see what poor person had breached the sanctity of Hugo's kitchen.
Jack.
I dropped the hamburger patty I was forming and it landed in a lump of meat on the floor. Even through my shock, I was calculating what that meat cost that we would now have to throw away.
Hugo stepped in and scooped up the meat off the floor. "You okay boss?" he asked looking me in the eye.
It took me a minute. "Good Lord Tess, pull yourself together," my brain was screaming at me inside my head.
"Yes!" I said a little too loudly. "I'm fine. Hugo this is my friend Jack," I said introducing them. "He's been away doing a photography job. I didn't know he was back in town."
"Okay, now stop talking," my brain said to me. I stopped rambling while Hugo and Jack shook hands.
"I will leave you to it then," Hugo said looking at me like I was a little crazy. "Don't worry about the meat, I'll make my lunch out of it so it doesn't go to waste."
"Hugo, you don't need to use meat off the floor for your lunch," I said.
"It's stupid to let it go to waste," he replied with more than a little attitude. "One, I cleaned that floor myself. It's not that bad. Two, the heat from the grill will further get rid of any dirt. And, three, you know where I came from, I've had worse."
With a nod to me and Jack, he walked off still mumbling to himself about not wasting perfectly good meat.
"Sorry to bother you at work," Jack said. "I just wanted to see the place. When I came in, Lexie told me you were in the kitchen and to go on back. Knowing you were only a few feet away, I couldn't wait any longer to see you."
Still trying to recover from the shock that he was standing in front of me after so long, it took a minute for his words to register in my brain. Then another minute to figure out what to say. Not knowing how to take what he just said, small talk seemed the way to go.
"When did you get back?"
"Last night. Mom and Dad picked me up from Dulles airport."
"They showed me some of your pictures that you sent them. They were really good," I said.
"Thanks," he said. His face lit up. I could see the pride he had in his work. He should be proud. His pictures were phenomenal.
"They kept me up to date on all of this," he said gesturing with his hand around the kitchen.
"Your Mom and Dad were both so amazing. They helped me a lot with finding local food suppliers and getting agreements in place. And your brothers have definitely helped keep the lights on with how much business they've brought in, not only eating here themselves, but also telling anyone who will listen to come here."
"I'm glad they all came through for you. This is really amazing."
The warm feeling I always got when I looked around at the diner and how well it was doing washed over me. Pride in my accomplishment, gratitude and love for everyone helping me, joy at watching something I started grow into a viable business, all of these things made up that warm feeling I got in the pit of my stomach. Realizing that I was standing their smiling like an idiot and not saying anything for way too long, I fumbled for something else to say. I had a million questions going in my head but didn't want to hammer him with all of them.
"Maybe I should go, I know you are busy," he finally said, ending the awkward silence and starting to turn back toward the swinging door that separated the kitchen from the dining area.
"Don't go" I screamed inside my head. Seeing him again brought back all the old feelings that I had been able to push aside and ignore for the past year.
But, maybe his feelings had changed.
"Are you going to be in town for awhile?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
He stopped mid-turn and looked back at me. "I'm back Tess." He hesitated a second and looked at the floor as if he was debating internally if he should say more.
"I missed you."
And, with that simple but loaded statement, he left the kitchen.
My hands were still covered in raw hamburger meat. I was wearing an apron that showed probably every breakfast food I cooked along side Hugo that morning. My hair was falling out of the bun I put it in at 3am when I got up to get to the diner (Yes, 3am! I'm up before Benny now!). As with all the other crucial moments in my life – good and bad – this one was unscripted and unplanned. And, somehow I knew, this moment, right now, would be another – not the last – but definitely another defining moment for me.
Jack was back. He missed me and I had definitely missed him. We both had done things over the past year to grow and find purpose in our life. Build a career, figure out what path we want to take. We were both in a better place than a year ago.
Smiling, I turned back to the hamburger meat and began making patties again.