“An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.”― Chinese Proverb
my hair, and the bright sun warmed my back. I held my breath as the hawk flew into view. The slapping sound of the camera shutter broke the silence as I captured the hawk in a series of images. I was about a mile from Longs Peak in Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado. I had sold photos here and there in the past, but this was my first professional job as a photographer. That my ex-girlfriend recommended me for the job to get me out here with her more than for my skills as a photographer grated a bit, but I was loving the work so I dealt with it.
I was working with a team of researchers that were studying wildlife in the national parks for a private conservation firm. I had a yearlong contract to provide photography services. It was the opportunity of a lifetime.
And Victoria knew that when she called me.
As soon as I got to Colorado, she wanted to pick up where we had left off. I couldn’t blame her. She didn’t know things had changed for me. At first, I even tried to deny to myself that my feelings had changed. I asked her to give me some time to settle into my new situation and the studio apartment the company rented for me. Denver, Colorado was our central place of operations, but we were traveling to national, state, and even some local parks all over the country. I didn’t think I’d be seeing the apartment a lot.
At first, the nomadic lifestyle was really appealing. For a guy like me who had lived in the same house for his entire life, living out of a suitcase and being constantly on the go was new and exciting. Four months later, part of me still found it to be new and exciting, but another part of me was missing home. It felt like that other part of me that missed the farm, my family, my friends, and especially Tess, seemed to get bigger every day.
I think it was hard on Victoria, too, having to work with me. Thankfully, we were in different departments, so we weren’t together day in and day out. I would’ve had to bow out. That wouldn’t have been fair to her. I tried to see if there was still anything between us. At least for me, there just wasn’t.
I took her to dinner a few times. We went hiking. We were as compatible as ever, but the feelings I used to have for her were gone. Truthfully, I don’t know if they were ever there to begin with. She was an amazing person, beautiful and easy to talk to, and she deserved someone who loved her fully and completely. Not someone who saw her as a good friend who was easy to hang out with.
When Tess came back into my life, I remembered what it was like to truly be crazy about someone, even when it was against your better judgment and that person you were crazy for could drive you crazy. My mom always told me, sometimes life don’t make a lick a sense.
I had to get away from home for many reasons. I had to see if I could make it as a photographer. I had to live under a roof that wasn’t bought and paid for by my parents. I had to see if those feelings I got the instant I saw Tess sitting in her car in front of my house were real. She had hurt me badly, but it was a long time ago and she was going through a pain that I can’t even imagine to this day. It’s been six years since then. We’ve both grown up. And, even though she’s thousands of miles away and I haven’t seen her in months, my feelings are still there.
I’m going to finish this job. I signed a contract, and I will fulfill it. I’m going to make things right with Victoria, because she is a good friend who I care about. And then, I’m going to go home and I’m going to build a life with the woman I’ve been in love with since the second grade. If she will have me. It was something to hope for.