THERE ARE TIMES WHEN you don’t need to say anything. Times when everything is easy and you can share a room or a moment without having to fill the space with words, when everything just falls into place. This wasn’t one of them.
You could cut the air with a knife.
Kael must have felt it too. “I’ve been spending a lot of money on massages,” he said, his first attempt at small talk.
“Self-care,” I said.
We both laughed, then, and relief poured through me. The way his laughter mixed with mine was like music. It was one of those moments I wished I could just bottle up and keep in a vial around my neck, the way Angelina Jolie had saved her lover’s blood.
Okay, now that was a weird thought. Why did my mind ricochet like that?
“If it makes it any better,” Kael said, “I regret it.”
“Leaving last night?” I clarified.
He nodded, swinging his long muscular legs over the side of the table. I was surprised they didn’t touch the floor.
“I wanted to be there with you, in that room, listening to you tell your stories. I love it when you tell stories . . . I could listen to you for hours,” he said.
I turned the music up a notch to drown out our voices. “The Hills” was taunting both of us. Raspy and suspenseful, the song fit perfectly between us, filling our silence.
I love it when . . .
“Then, why didn’t you?” I finally asked.
“It was a friend thing—” Kael’s expression changed.
“Friend?” I asked and it clicked. “Oh, you have a—”
“Not that kind of friend,” he said. He wanted to reassure me and that was thrilling. A line of electricity charged through me. “One of my buddies is having a rough time right now. It, uh . . . his wife called and I had to go over there.” Kael’s expression was stone.
I was confused. He was opening up, but I needed more. “So, again, if you were going to help a friend, why couldn’t you tell me? I would have understood if you told me—”
He cut me off. “Mendoza’s business isn’t mine to tell.”
“Mendoza?” I moved across the room, stopping directly in front of Kael.
He sighed. He bit down on his lip. “It’s not my place, Karina. I’m not talking about it.”
I appreciated his loyalty to his friend. Really, I did, but wasn’t I his friend too? Wasn’t I someone? Apparently not. “And that’s so far from the norm. You not talking about it.” I meant for my words to burn him, or at least make him sweat. They did neither.
He looked at me like he was taking a lie detector test and I had just asked his name and if the sky was blue. Complacent. Assured. Calm as fuck.