Chapter Twenty-Nine

 

Friday. My last full day on the Isle of Skye. Will and I went back to Elgol in the morning and I realised that I had found what I was looking for from this holiday; I was getting over Ross and knew now for sure that I didn’t want to continue with our marriage. Will had been my rebound in a way and I was glad. Rebounding with Aiden would’ve been a disaster and now I could go back and know that he wasn’t a rebound; that was if anything more ever happened between us.

We went for a walk with the dogs, then back to the rocks we’d sat on the day before, to eat the lunch I’d prepared that morning: mostly cold left-over chilli con carne and a fruit salad. He was being sweet, funny and affectionate, touching my arm and leaning against me as we ate but I wasn’t sure if I was reading the signs of friendship and kindness as him feeling as much as I did, and I wasn’t about to ask. The thought of him returning home and getting into bed with Mandy proved painful and I tried not to think about it.

“Thank you for a lovely week,” I told him as he started eating the fruit.

“No, thank you,” he said, smiling. “I’m so glad you were here. It’s been great catching up.”

I nodded and ate, unsure what to say next. For the first time all week, I felt uncomfortable.

“You’ve got a bit of juice,” he said, looking at my chin. He used his thumb to mop it up and his touch made my skin tingle.

“Thanks,” I said, feeling my cheeks flush.

“So…”

“So..?”

“We should keep in touch this time,” he said it slowly, carefully, without looking at me. He watched the dogs as he continued. “I mean, email, telephone calls. Don’t you think?”

“Yes, definitely.”

He pulled his phone out. “Put all your details in there, then.”

I put my fruit down and took the phone, entered my phone number and email address, then handed it back. He didn’t say anything and I couldn’t speak. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.

The time flew, in the annoying way it always does when you wish it would slow down. When the light started to fade, Will got up and said we ought to drive back to the farm, where we were due to be having dinner with Hayley and Guy. I wasn’t ready to end our alone time, there seemed so much left unsaid. So many things I wanted to say, but knew I couldn’t say them to a married man. I just nodded and he called the dogs over.

“You okay?” he asked as I rubbed Wentworth with an old towel. He and Fern had been playing in the water.

“Yeah, just sad to be leaving.”

“I’m sad you’re leaving too.”

I looked up at him and he stared back down at me. I gave him a sad smile and he looked away quickly, attending to Fern.

As Will drove us back, I tried to think of a way to lighten the mood, but I couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Put some music on, if you like,” he said, apparently hating the awkward silence as much as I did. He passed me his iPod.

I scrolled through, looking for something light and fun.

“You’ve got a playlist called musicals?”

He laughed. “Don’t tell Guy. I do like a show tune.”

“Me too,” I said, putting it on and sitting back and singing along. Will joined in.

Typical. Just another thing to add to my reasons to love him; he liked musical theatre. There weren’t many men out there you could drag to see a show. Even Shane wouldn’t come with me. Ross once said he’d rather spend the evening cleaning the house.

The music lifted the solemn mood and again, time sped up. We were just enjoying belting out Good Morning Baltimore from Hairspray when Will pulled up at the gate and I had to jump out and open it.

It started to rain hard and we rushed into the house. Hayley and Guy were in the kitchen, heating up leftover stew. We joined them at the dining table and talked about the weather, the dogs and the farm. No one mentioned that we were leaving and it unsettled me. Too much was left unsaid. Just as I was wondering how I’d get Hayley alone, she asked if she could speak to me in private and we went into the living room. She shut the door and I knew I wasn’t going to like what I was about to hear.

“I’m going to leave Kieran.”

“Right. Okay. Are you sure?”

“Yes. I love Guy, and I’m very sorry about Kieran, but I’m going to go home, break it off, resign from my job, and come back up here. Guy asked me to come and live with him.”

She said that last part in an excited tone which just got me angry.

“What do you think Kieran will say?”

“He’ll be upset, of course, but he’ll get over it.”

“Right.”

“Aren’t you happy for me?”

“I just think you’ve gone about this the wrong way, that’s all. And how well do you really know Guy?”

Although, she didn’t know him any less than I knew Will, I realised. And I’d move up here for him. The thought surprised me and a sad feeling descended.

“I know it’s hard to understand,” Hayley said, “but I do know him. I love him.”

“I just feel bad for Kieran.”

“Kieran’s a big boy!” she raised her voice.

“So you’re just going to give up everything, the job you love, the man who wants to marry you, move away from all you friends? You hate the countryside!”

“I don’t! This week has been perfect!” She was getting louder.

“It’s been a holiday Hayley. You have to come back to reality.”

“I care about Kieran but I love Guy,” she said. “You have to understand that.”

“I do! You’re just going about this the wrong way.”

“Who’s Kieran?” Guy was standing in the doorway, looking worried.

“Her fiancé!” I told him, too angry about her behaviour to care anymore.