Chapter Thirty-Five

 

There are few things in life quite as blissful as a bubble bath, especially when the friends you’re lodging with have a huge corner tub. I slipped into the hot water, moved the bubbles about until I’d achieved adequate coverage, and let my body relax.

I wondered what Will might be doing at this exact moment. Was he back in Glasgow yet? How did he feel about Mandy? More crucially, how did he feel about me? A little tingle ran through my chest as I thought about the kiss, the hugs, the moments at Elgol, the sunsets. If only life could be one long holiday on the Isle of Skye.

I put my elbows on the bottom of the bath and let myself float in the water, listening to the bubbles bursting around me one by one. Shane and Andrew had both gone to work early, and I’d left the door open. Wentworth came in, wagging his tail happily.

“Hello gorgeous,” I said, smiling at him. He peered over the edge of the bath and licked up a bubble, then sat back on the bathmat and regarded me with curiosity.

“Do you miss Fern?” I asked him. He just sat and looked at me, his sad brown eyes telling me that he did. “Me too,” I told him.

I shook my head gently to push the thought of Will away. He was with his wife, I reminded myself. We’re just friends. I reached out to pat Wentworth’s head and he licked the bubbles from my arm.

If I was honest with myself, and I like to think I always am, I was taking this extra long bath to avoid going to work, which was a first for me. I’d always loved my job but I tried to picture myself getting back into it, putting on a fake smile and telling a different bride each week to stay calm, that she looked beautiful, that she’d enjoy a very long, happy marriage. I used to believe it, too, but now I couldn’t say it and feel sincere.

What I felt like telling each bride was that she was going to waste a lot of money, time and effort on one single day that would mean very little ten years from now when she was a divorced spinster. She’d wish she could get her ten or twenty grand back when she was lying in bed alone picturing her beloved naked with some skank he met in a bar.

I got out and looked at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. Where had the spirited, cheerful Jenny gone? Another thing to hate Ross for; turning me into a cynical bitch. I’d just have to force myself to get back into the whole idea of weddings and marriages, or I’d soon be penniless as well as homeless and divorced.

I spent a long time deciding what to wear, unsure that anything suited me anymore, now that I was a new me. A single me. I’d thrown all of my clothes into a couple of suitcases and then hung a few things up in a small wooden wardrobe Andrew had cleared out for me. For the first time ever, I’d actually appreciate Hayley’s fashion suggestions and advice. Did I go for the confident executive look in my business suit, or casual chick in my jeans and a t-shirt? I always dressed smartly for weddings but usually preferred something more comfortable for the studio. I pulled out my favourite pair of skinny jeans because they made me feel slim, and a loose top I’d almost forgotten I had until I pulled it out when packing up to come here.

Maybe, when I got settled in my own place, I’d go shopping and get a new style. I’d be that sophisticated girl that everyone always thinks is well dressed. My nails would always look immaculate because I’d paint them every day. I’d get up early and put make-up on and I’d have the perfect shoes and bag for every outfit and occasion. Hayley would be proud, and I felt a sadness that she wouldn’t be around to see the new, fashionable me.

I made my bed, cleaned up in the kitchen and dawdled for as long as I could before telling myself rather sternly to get on with my life. I grabbed my bag and went downstairs to the cafe. Shane was wiping down tables.

“Breakfast muffin?” he asked me, walking back to the counter.

“And a coffee to go please.”

“I was wondering if you were ever going to drag that lazy arse of yours out of bed,” he said with a wink.

“I had a long, very satisfying bath, I’ll have you know.”

“It’s a great bath tub isn’t it?”

“It’s like getting into a blissful piece of warm soapy heaven. You could fit three people in there.”

“We did, once.”

“Too much info, thank you.”

“I was just kidding.”

I didn’t need to know, so I told him about my plan to create the new me. He didn’t seem very interested and continued wiping tables.

“You just wait,” I told him. “I’m going to be a beautiful, fashionable, sophisticated independent woman.”

Shane stopped wiping and looked up at me.

“Or you could just be yourself. You’re beautiful, sophisticated and independent already.”

I noticed he left out fashionable.

“You’re biased because you’re my BFF.”

“As your BFF, I know you. I know you’re not into fashion and doing your nails every night and all that other stuff. That’s great for Hayley, but it’s not you.”

“Maybe,” I shrugged. He had a point. I’d probably get bored by the second day. And I couldn’t afford a new wardrobe, anyhow.

“You’re fine as you are, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Thank you.”

“You going to get to work or what?” He went back to his wiping.

“Okay I will, Dad.”

He laughed. Oh, there was one more thing before I got on…

“Everything okay with you and Andrew? I mean, regarding Maidstone?”

A customer came in and went to the counter.

“We’ll chat later,” Shane told me and I took that as my cue to go. I was desperate to know what they’d do, but no more distraction techniques: I had to get back to work.