Chapter Fifty-Seven

 

The music started and I walked down the aisle, eyes fixed on Will, wondering what the rest of the afternoon and evening had in store for us. His eyes didn’t break away from mine until I reached him and I gave him my best smile before taking my place at the side, where I was joined by Hayley’s dad. I searched out Shane, who was sitting with Hayley’s sister and her boyfriend. He had his best suit on and looked pretty handsome himself.

The ceremony was simple but lovely, and then we moved into a small dining room with a long table to accommodate the whole party. I sat between Will and Shane, who was talking animatedly to Hayley’s sister about the love of his life: his coffee shop.

The food was good; the Prosecco even better.

“I guess I should make my speech,” Will whispered to me.

“Have you prepared anything?”

“No, not really enough time was there?”

“At least it’s not a large crowd,” I said, looking at the small gathering.

He chinked his glass with a spoon and stood up.

He told us all about Guy as a kid, a few funny anecdotes, how crazy in love he was with Hayley even at sixteen and some nice words about Hayley. And then he said:

“I find it hard to understand love, sometimes. I think sometimes we mistake infatuation for love. I’ve only ever been truly, deeply in love once myself, but that’s enough to know it when I see it. And I see it here today. You two are surely soul mates and I wish you every happiness.”

Huh.

He’d only ever truly been in love once.

He had also told me that he’d loved me, back then, when we were kids, hadn’t he?

So did that mean he’d never loved Mandy, deeply? Or did that mean that the love he had for me was in fact just infatuation. We were so young, after all.

I swigged another big mouthful of Prosecco.

“To the bride and groom!” We all raised our glasses and then it was Guy’s turn, but I didn’t want to listen. I’d heard enough wedding speeches to know it was rare you got a good one and his was only average, not that Hayley seemed to mind. Then her dad spoke, and all the while I was just glancing between him and back to Will by my side, wondering what that all meant and how he really felt. I continued to drink. Will poured me another glass as the last round of applause died down.

Seeing as there were so few of us, no disco had been planned and so I spent the rest of the evening drinking yet more bubbles, watching Shane get drunk on whisky and chat to anyone who would listen, including Will as he drank beer.

I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, or being around Will again, but a thought came over me and I was suddenly, absolutely sure of what I had to do.

I went outside, pulled my mobile out of the little bag Hayley had given me that morning, and called Ross.

“Hey babe, how’s the wedding?”

“It’s over, Ross.”

“What?”

“You and me. I just wanted to say. No more dates.”

“Are you drunk? Don’t get angry now, babe. We’ll talk when you get home.”

“No, listen to me. It’s over. For sure. I don’t love you. Oh my god, that feels good to say. I don’t love you, Ross. I forgive you, but I don’t want you. Good bye!”

I hung up, threw my mobile back in my bag and marched back in, feeling liberated. Will was dancing with Hayley and I watched them with a smile. When the song was over, he released her to Guy and came and chatted to me and Shane for a while. I was pleased to see them getting along. Eventually Shane wandered off to mingle and left us to it.

Now and then, Will would stop talking and look at me, and for a second I thought this was it, he was going to make his move. I silently told him to kiss me but he didn’t appear to know what I was thinking.

At some point, Shane said goodnight. At another, so did Hayley and Guy. And then I realised Will and I were the only ones left talking. Even the bar staff had gone home.

“I’ve had so much fun with you tonight,” I told him, the invincible bubble of drunkenness leaving me free to be open with him. “I always have fun with you. That week we spent here together was one of the best weeks ever.”

“I agree,” he said. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you when I got home. Mandy never stood a chance, not really.”

“Seriously?”

“She never stood a chance, Jenny. Even before we got married. It was always you.”

The butterflies stopped for a moment and all I felt was superbly, sublimely happy.

“Really?”

“Yes. I should have told you before I left for Scotland, and I should have told you when we were here, but I was trying to do the right thing.”

“I don’t know if you should have told me back then. I was too young, I wouldn’t necessarily have said I felt the same way.”

“And now?”

I could see the fear in his eyes. How could he not know that I felt the same way? That I wanted him? I tried to find the words, the alcohol fading away and making me feel rather sober again.

“I got home from Skye and I was miserable. I just wanted to be here with you again and I have thought of you every single day since. I’ve been replaying every moment we had during that week, and I couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing you again.”

“Well, here I am.”

“And here I am.” I held my breath. “Here we are.”

He smiled, a big happy smile and I returned it, not caring about the distance or the logistics, but only about the moment, and knowing that he wanted me. Will wanted me. It was a good feeling.

We were sitting on two seats with our backs to the wall. I shuffled my seat closer and moved my face close to his. He leaned forward and he kissed me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. It started delicately and slowly, then he had his arms around me and I could feel the current running between us.

“Do you want to come up to my room then?” I asked after finally pulling away. Wow, he was even better to look at when he had that lustful expression in his eyes.

“I do have my own room, I must confess.”

“Oh, right.”

“But I’d much rather come to yours.”

I stood up and held out my hand. “Come on then.”

We made our way out into the lobby, past the receptionist who was reading a magazine, and up the sweeping staircase. As I climbed the stairs, holding my dress up slightly with my left hand, Will grabbed hold of my right and I gave him a sideways smile. He squeezed my hand and started to climb the stairs faster, two at a time, pulling me up beside him. I giggled and led the way at the top of the landing.

After fiddling with the lock – maybe I was still a little tipsy after all – we were alone in my room and all the nerves and anxiety slipped away. I watched Will close the curtains and come towards me and I knew I loved him. I wasn’t just trying to move on like I had been with Aiden, or forcing myself to make an effort like I had earlier this week with Ross. I knew I would be fine if I was alone, in fact I could be happy alone. I’d proved I could be independent. But now he was here, I didn’t want to be.

He put his hands in my hair and kissed me gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sent up a little wish to whoever granted wishes that this night could last forever. Don’t let this fly by, let me enjoy every moment.

He picked me up, carried me to the bed, and removed my dress.

“Still so beautiful,” he whispered as he kissed my neck.

I was torn between wishing he’d move quickly and stop teasing, and wanting to enjoy every moment and make the whole night slow down.

He left my underwear on and lay down next to me on the bed, running his fingers over my arms and hips. I shivered.

“You’re cold?” he asked, looking concerned.

“A little,” I admitted. “But it’s fine.”

He got up and pulled back the duvet. I climbed underneath it and he took his clothes off so he was down to his boxer shorts, and then got in beside me.

“You sure you want to…?” he asked, leaning towards me. I nodded.

He slipped the last of my underwear off, and covered my body in tiny kisses, each one sending a quiver of excitement through me, and then finally he rolled me on top of him and I began to move astride him, feeling like we were the only two people on the planet.

He’d certainly gained skills since the last time we’d done this. He seemed to instinctively know what I’d like. Sure, I may well be biased – being in love and all that – but I could swear at the time we were having the best sex that anyone had ever had, on the whole planet, since the beginning of time.

After he’d made me explode, I fell asleep on his chest, this time knowing it wouldn’t be the last time I’d get to do so.