Jean stared at the results of the home pregnancy test. Her insides twisted into hard knots and her throat tightened. She shook her head. There had to be some sort of mistake. It couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t. Regardless of how concerned she had been about this, how much it had occupied her thoughts, the unbelievable results still shocked her and caught her unprepared for the reality. She had taken three tests and all three said the same thing. She was pregnant with Ry’s child.
She had spent a night of turmoil after Marjorie left. Dark thoughts and fears swirled through her dreams. To be pregnant would create enough problems, but if Ry was married her problems would be multiplied to the point where she wasn’t sure how she would be able to handle them. Had Ry been deceiving her all along? Was the story he told her about what had happened with the prom fifteen years ago nothing more than empty words to appease her? Had she been handed the final and most devastating humiliation and betrayal?
She had gone to the drugstore as soon as she woke Saturday morning. She looked over all the different types of home pregnancy tests, reading the information printed on the outside of the boxes. She had chosen three tests from three different manufacturers.
She stared at the used paraphernalia scattered on the bathroom counter from all three tests she had taken. All three had produced the same results. Her throat tightened. Her mouth felt dry as cotton. Perhaps the tests were flawed. It was one of the newer types of tests that said she could get ninety-nine percent accurate results four days sooner than the tests that required her to wait until the day after her period was supposed to start.
Ninety-nine percent wasn’t one hundred percent. There was still that one percent margin for error. She would wait four days and try it again, this time choosing different tests. She knew she was grasping at straws. Deep down inside she suspected the outcome would be the same. And if it was she would make an appointment with her doctor, but that wouldn’t change the truth.
Jean wandered aimlessly into the living room and sank into the couch. She was so confused. She didn’t know what or who to believe. She desperately needed to see Ry. She stared at the phone trying to silently will it to ring, to have the caller be Ry telling her he was back in town. He would be able to explain everything. He would make everything okay. A cold chill shot up her spine. Explaining Marjorie was one thing, but that wouldn’t fix the fact that she was pregnant. That wouldn’t change how drastically her life was about to be altered, and possibly Ry’s, too.
She stared at the phone, but nothing happened. It remained silent…a silence that soon became deafening and all-too-painful to endure. The sick churning returned to the pit of her stomach, then tried to work its way up her throat. She couldn’t be experiencing morning sickness. It was definitely too soon for that. It had to be stress—stress combined with fear and panic. She went to the bathroom to clean up the pieces of the pregnancy tests. Her hand visibly shook as she reached for an empty box. The sick churning increased. She swallowed several times in an attempt to make it go away.
She gathered her determination and cleaned up the mess. She tried to concentrate on other things, but nothing helped. Saturday was already half gone without a call from Ry. Jean had picked up the phone several times to call the hotel, but each time had replaced the receiver without dialing. What was nervous anxiety had turned into full-blown panic.
She tried to pull her logical thoughts together. She needed to deal with this unexpected turn of events one step at a time. First she had to talk to Ry about Marjorie, about what Marjorie had told her. She could not address the pregnancy until his marital status was clarified. In her heart she knew it couldn’t be true, he couldn’t be married. But it was an issue she could not ignore, the repeat of a horrible episode from her past she thought she would never have to live through again.
She picked up a book and tried to concentrate on reading, but it was no use. She glanced at the clock every few minutes only to be disappointed at the way time seemed to be standing still.
It was almost six o’clock that evening before the ringing phone broke the uncomfortable silence that surrounded her. Her heart pounded as she grabbed the receiver. It had to be Ry…it just had to be.
“Hello.”
“Hi. I just arrived at the hotel.”
Nothing had ever sounded so good to her as he did at that moment. She tried to force a calm to her voice, to keep her rampaging anxiety and panic under control until she could sit down with Ry face-to-face and talk this out.
“I…uh…was beginning to think you might not be coming back.” She emitted a chuckle in an attempt to keep the conversation casual, hoping it didn’t sound as strained as it felt. “But then I remembered you still had three weeks of your work assignment before you were finished with the contract.”
He allowed a soft laugh. “Well, I have to admit that I didn’t think I’d be gone this long. The meeting ended up being all day Friday and most of today before we had everything resolved. I left the wrap up details to my attorney and my office manager and caught the next flight back to Seattle.”
His voice turned serious. “Have you already had dinner? Is it too late to do whatever it is you had planned for tonight?”
Plans for Saturday night—between Marjorie’s unsettling visit and the disturbing results of the pregnancy tests, she had completely forgotten that he had asked her if she would make plans for them for Saturday night.
“I didn’t make any plans. I was afraid you might not be back in time to do something that required a specific start time and I didn’t know how tired you’d be. So, the evening is open.”
“Well, you’re right. I am a little tired. Have you eaten yet?”
“No…I…uh…I had a late lunch.” Was he trying to get out of seeing her that night? She drew in a deep breath. Or was she letting her imagination run away with her again, allowing her own anxieties to influence reality?
“I’d like to see you tonight. Is it okay if I come over? I have a few things to unpack, but I could be there in about forty-five minutes. Would that be okay?”
“Yes, I’ll see you then.”
Jean replaced the receiver, allowing her hand to linger on it for a moment before turning loose. She desperately needed to calm the trepidation that seemed to have claimed every corner of her existence. She tried to get her thoughts straight, to put things in some sort of logical order before he arrived.
The first thing she needed to do was tell him about Marjorie’s visit and her claim that they were married. Until that was resolved there was no use in attempting to tell him she might be pregnant. In fact, there was no use in mentioning it at all until she was sure. A cold chill settled over her. It matched the icy fear that churned inside her.
It couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t be…none of it, not Ry being married and not her being pregnant. It was all some kind of dreadful nightmare. She would wake up and find that everything was blissful and happy. She loved Ry. Why couldn’t that be enough to make everything else all right?
The tears began to well in her eyes. She quickly brushed them away, then went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. She had to make sure her eyes didn’t look red and puffy. She didn’t want Ry to immediately suspect that something was wrong. She wanted to be able to tell him in her own way and her own time frame.
It seemed like forever before she heard the doorbell even though it had been less than an hour. She rushed to the door. A moment later Ry stepped inside and pulled her into his arms. The moment he wrapped her in his embrace she immediately felt so safe and secure, as if nothing could ever hurt her. She didn’t want to ever lose the sensation. She wrapped her arms around his waist.
He caressed her shoulders and stroked her hair. It felt so good to have her back in his arms. He had not realized how empty his life was until he spent Friday night alone, rambling around in his large house. He had used so much energy building his fortune and making a success of his career that he hadn’t taken the time to discover what was missing from his life. After his horrible experience with marriage he had convinced himself that to be tied down to one woman in a permanent relationship, whether married or not, was to take away from him any choices and freedom he might have. It would be a fate worse than death.
Jean had made him realize how wrong he had been, how much he needed someone to make his life complete. And that special someone was Jean Summerfield. His high school friend from fifteen years ago had become the most important person in his life. He didn’t want to think about a future without her.
His words came out slightly husky. “I know I’ve only been gone for two days, but I sure missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
He lowered his head and captured her mouth with a kiss that spoke of tenderness and caring, then it quickly escalated into the heated passion that had been stored away for two days. Her earthy response matched everything churning inside him, all the incendiary desires that had been pent-up while he was in Chicago.
He caressed Jean’s shoulders, then ran his fingers through her silky hair. She melted into his sensual touch and the magic of his kiss. So many thoughts circulated through her mind, things they had to talk about, things that could set the tone for the future she hoped they had together. Or a bigger fear, things that could spell the end to any future they might have had. Her anxiety level rose to match her heated desires. Then Ry twined his tongue with hers and all her thoughts and fears evaporated into a cloud of euphoria…all but one. Still pushing at her consciousness was the panic that told her she had to find the words to tell Ry she was pregnant—words she knew could spell disaster.
Jean glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was only eight-thirty. The move from her front door to her bedroom two hours ago had been spontaneous and immediate. And now she laid wrapped in his embrace as they snuggled beneath the blankets. Everything about him excited her beyond what she thought was possible. But it was so much more than just the physical. He touched her soul the way no one else ever had. His arms tightened around her sending a wave of pleasure coursing through her veins.
Now that the urgency of their lovemaking had been satiated and the sensual mood had settled into a warm glow of contentment, her thoughts returned to the problems that had been shoved aside, but definitely not forgotten. And first on that list was Marjorie. A nervous twinge told her how much she dreaded having to confront him with what had happened. In her heart she didn’t believe it, but she knew the matter had to be brought out in the open and addressed. Even if it wasn’t true, Ry needed to be aware of Marjorie’s attempts to undermine him.
Jean took a steadying breath to calm her increasing level of trepidation, spurred on by the awkwardness of what she was about to say. She could not put it off any longer. She placed her hands on top of his, relishing the warmth and intimacy of their bare skin touching along the length of their bodies—a closeness that she hoped would still be there after she asked him about Marjorie.
“Ry?” Her apprehension rose sharply.
“Mmm…yes?”
“Uh…something happened yesterday evening…and…uh…”
His senses jumped to full alert. Something was wrong, very wrong. He heard it in her voice. He raised up on one elbow so that he could clearly see her face. He placed his fingertips beneath her chin and lifted until he could look into her eyes. What he saw there sent a jolt of fear through him.
“Jean, what’s the matter?” A touch of panic invaded his reality. What had been blissful contentment just moments ago had turned into an unsettling concern. “What happened?”
“Well—” she swallowed and glanced nervously around the room before regaining eye contact with him “—I had a visitor yesterday right after I got home from work.”
Ry furrowed his brow in confusion as he shook his head. “You had a visitor? I don’t understand. Who was it? What was troubling about this visit?” He didn’t know where the conversation was headed, but it left him decidedly uneasy. “Are you all right?”
“It was…uh…” She had to look away. She couldn’t hold his eye contact any longer. “It was a woman who said her name was…uh…Marjorie Collier.” She felt his muscles immediately tense into tight knots. Her heart sank and an uncomfortable awareness welled inside her. He obviously knew the name.
His words were carefully measured. He spoke through a clenched jaw, any emotion he felt obviously being held back and carefully controlled. “Marjorie was here?”
Jean took another breath, then plunged quickly into what she had to say before she lost her nerve. “She said she was your wife, that I had been dating a married man. She said this behavior was common for you, that you usually had these short-term affairs whenever you were out of town on a job, that I was just one more of many. She also said you’d gone back to Chicago and indicated that you wouldn’t be returning to Seattle. She claimed she usually cleaned up after these flings of yours and that was what she was doing at my door.”
A cold shudder ran through her body followed by an almost uncontrollable trembling. Time seemed to hang in the air forever without Ry saying or doing anything. She couldn’t stand the silence any longer. She looked up at him. His features were contorted into an angry mask. She had never seen anyone as angry as he appeared. The muscles in his face were set into hard lines, his jaw clenched so tight that it was almost as if he was afraid to speak for fear of what he might say. And his eyes, they were dark and stormy—and very frightening.
Her voice quavered as she spoke. “Ry?” She reached out until her fingertips touched his cheek. It felt hard as stone. She forced the words, not sure if she should say anything or not. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Talk to me…please? What’s happening? Who is this Marjorie? How did she know to come here?”
His arms tightened around her, but it was not a forceful or angry move. It was as if he were reaching out for some sort of confirmation of what they had together, trying to draw some comfort and assurance from her. The sensation sent a little wave of relief through her, but didn’t answer her questions.
Ry gulped in several deep breaths in an attempt to bring some sort of calm and rationale to his shattered composure. He tried to make his voice sound calm and under control, a far cry from the chaos that churned inside him. “Marjorie came here? She claimed to be my wife?”
“Yes. Obviously, this is someone you know. Who is she?” Jean paused, then said the words that she dreaded, the words that were so difficult for her. “Ry, are you married? Is…is Marjorie your wife?”
He sank back into the softness of the bed, drawing her body close to his and continuing to hold on to her. “No, I’m not married. Marjorie is my ex-wife. We were married for two months and have been divorced for almost ten years.”
His words shocked her. He had mentioned a brief marriage, but she never suspected that it would have been that short. She blurted out her response before she could censor herself. “You were only married for two months?”
The anger and bitterness surrounded his words. “Two months was more than enough—it was a lifetime. The marriage should never have happened.”
She waited, but he didn’t elaborate. It was as if he didn’t have any intention of talking about how or why he had married and why the marriage had been so short-lived. She suddenly felt as if she was prying into something that was none of her business.
A moment later, Ry continued with what he had been saying before she interrupted him. “Other than to say that Marjorie is very devious and manipulative and I wouldn’t put anything out of the realm of possibility where she is concerned, I can’t explain how she knew about you or where you live.”
“But why would she do such a thing? Why would she come here and claim that the two of you were married and accuse me of dating her husband as if I were a home wrecker who was beneath contempt?”
“She’s a selfish, mean, manipulative and vindictive woman who doesn’t care about anything or anyone other than herself. She called me a few days ago…first time I’ve heard from her since the divorce. She said she wanted to get together to talk over old times. I told her we didn’t have any old times to talk over and I didn’t want to see her. I had assumed that would be the end of it, but obviously I was wrong.”
He took a calming breath before continuing. “Apparently that spurred her into action and she caught a flight to Seattle. Wednesday night when I got back to my hotel room, she surprised me with an appearance at my door. I told her she was wasting her time and that I was returning to Chicago the next day. Once again I apparently made a bad assumption that telling her I was going back to Chicago would be her cue to leave Seattle. She obviously had other plans. She must have been in Seattle for a while before she made her presence known to me.”
He stroked Jean’s skin and ran his fingers through her hair, then held her tightly in his embrace. “Please believe me, Jean. It’s the truth.” He paused and took a deep breath, slowly expelling it. “The only thing Marjorie means to me is disaster and problems. This is the first time I’ve seen or heard from her in almost ten years, ever since that glorious day our divorce was final.”
She heard the bitterness in his voice and the underlying resentment that he couldn’t hide. Whatever had happened to cause the marriage to be such a short one obviously still lived in a volatile place locked deep inside him, an emotion that had manifested itself in his comment about being a confirmed bachelor.
“I believe you. I knew there had to be some sort of logical explanation for what had happened. I told her I would only believe you were married if I heard it from you personally, then I slammed the door in her face.”
“I’m so sorry, Jean.” He placed a tender kiss on her lips. “I’m so sorry that she put you through this. Are you all right? Is there anything I can do?”
“I’m fine.” A shiver of anxiety darted through her body. Except, of course, for being pregnant with your child. “I just needed to hear from you that it wasn’t true, that you weren’t married and cheating on your wife.” Yes, everything was settled except for confronting him with the news that he was going to be a father. She was not ready to tackle that situation…not yet. She had to wait until she was positive about being pregnant, not just ninety-nine percent sure. She needed to wait a few more days to take another home test and if the results confirmed the earlier test, then she would see her doctor. She had made her decision. She would not say anything to him until she had it confirmed by a doctor. A sinking feeling told her it wasn’t going to be that easy.
Ry suddenly sat up, drawing her attention away from her inner turmoil. He stared at her, as if trying to get his thoughts together. “Did Marjorie ever address you by name?”
She looked at him quizzically as she furrowed her brow in concentration. “No, I don’t think so. She simply appeared at my front door, told me who she was and made her accusations.”
“Then it’s possible that she doesn’t really know who you are, only where you live. And if that’s true it means she probably has no idea where you work or what my work assignment is here. So she must have followed me from the hotel to your condo one evening.”
He again pulled her into his arms. His words were soft, some of the bitterness had gone from his voice. “I’m glad you stood up to her the way you did. That took a lot of courage on your part. It probably took the wind out of her sails and left her a little unsure about what to do. In fact…” He reached for the phone and dialed a number.
“Who are you calling?”
“I’m calling the hotel to see if she’s still registered. Hopefully your response sent her to the airport. That and the fact that I told her I was leaving but didn’t say it was only for a day or two.”
Ry’s phone conversation was short and succinct. Marjorie had checked out of the hotel. A wave of relief settled over him. Between his firm stand with Marjorie and Jean’s equally defiant attitude with her, maybe she had gotten the message and decided to abandon whatever plan had been circulating through her devious little mind. Ry again pulled Jean into his arms and held her tenderly.
“Ry, do you think she could be stalking you?” Her voice quavered. “Or me?”
“I truly believe Marjorie has a screw loose somewhere, but I don’t think she’d resort to stalking. I don’t think she’ll be bothering you again.” He placed a tender kiss on her lips. “I feel so bad about you being subjected to this.”
He stroked her hair and nestled her head against his shoulder. “Are you all right? Do you have any questions you want to ask me? If you do, please go ahead. I don’t want you to be bothered by anything, especially if it can be easily explained and dealt with.”
Would it be all right if she asked him about his marriage, about why it lasted only two months? No, she would not pry. He hadn’t volunteered the information when the subject was open so she wouldn’t pursue it. Should she tell him about the horrible experience from her past? About the way the confrontation with Marjorie was not a new experience for her? How she was once before confronted by an irate wife who accused her of dating a married man? About the fact that the truth had devastated her?
A wave of sadness washed over her. No, she would not tell him. It was a personal matter that she would keep to herself. Perhaps at some future date when she was more sure of what type of relationship she and Ry had, when she was more secure about his feelings.
She tried to switch to a confident manner. “In my heart I knew you couldn’t be married, but I had to ask.”
“I’m glad you did. I don’t want another fifteen years to pass before an unfortunate incident is explained. I don’t want any other obstacles standing between us.”
Obstacles standing between us…he had said the words, but he wasn’t sure exactly what he had meant by them or for that matter exactly why he had said them. Had he allowed his true feelings to seep through? Had he said more than he intended?
Ry tightened his arms around Jean, reveling in the warmth of her body against his. When she had told him about Marjorie’s visit, his first thought had been that everything he held dear was about to blow up in his face. For a fraction of a second he feared he might have lost Jean for good and the concept sent a cold shiver of fear through him.
He breathed another sigh of relief and settled back into the pillow. There were no more obstacles now. Nothing stood in their way. He would finish his work assignment, then…then what? He would return to Chicago? He would ask her to give up her job and go with him on blind faith without a commitment? He would stay in Seattle and turn the small public relations firm he recently purchased into his new corporate headquarters? It would be easy to do, but would it be practical? Suddenly things weren’t so clear-cut anymore. He continued to hold her, but the thoughts circulating through his mind had turned from relief to disturbing.
He wanted to stop the disconcerting thoughts and concentrate on more immediate things, things that didn’t leave him confused and fearful. He glanced at the clock. “It’s still early. Would you like to go to a movie? Something to shove away Marjorie’s manipulative attempt to involve you in one of her schemes?” And her horrifying invasion of my life?
“Unless you really want to, I’d just as soon stay here—”
He flashed a teasing grin. “I’d just as soon stay in bed, too.”
He fluffed the pillow and pulled the blanket up around their shoulders. He cupped her breast in one hand and slid his other hand seductively down her stomach. He desperately wanted to banish Marjorie from his mind.
She batted playfully at his hand as it skimmed across her inner thigh. “That’s not what I meant. I should have said that I didn’t want to go out anywhere.”
He placed a tender kiss on her cheek. “Of course. I knew that’s what you meant.” He shoved her hand away and continued to tickle his fingers across her bare skin.
The rest of the evening was lost to the growing and expanding love that existed between them, a love that Jean readily admitted to herself and embraced, but one that frightened Ry to the point where he tried to deny it. They watched television for a while and talked about things they’d always wanted to do, places they had wanted to see. It was the type of togetherness that was so comfortable it felt as if it would last a lifetime.
Then the specter of pregnancy loomed in Jean’s mind again. They had resolved one problem, but there was still a huge hurdle on the horizon, one that would not be as easy to overcome. She tried to dismiss the concerns, at least for the rest of the evening. She desperately wanted everything to be okay, for the future to hold the happiness she had always dreamed of, but had eluded her so far.
Ry spent the night at Jean’s condo. There was no use in pretending that it was an unexpected happening. He had packed an overnight bag, including a change of clothes. He retrieved it from the trunk of his car early Sunday morning.
When he reached the top of the stairs, he discovered Jean turning on the water in the shower. He dropped his bag on the bed, entered the bathroom and slipped his hands inside her robe as he pulled her into his embrace.
“Would you like some company?” He flashed a teasing grin. “I’d be happy to scrub your back and you could scrub mine.”
His words tickled across her cheek sending a little tremor of excitement across her skin as she spoke. “I’m afraid if we did that we’d never get anything else done. It’s a beautiful day. I thought we could spend it doing something spontaneous—”
“Is this spontaneous enough for you?” He captured her mouth with a loving kiss, one that spoke volumes about his feelings.
She allowed the kiss to continue for several seconds before breaking it off. A soft chuckle accompanied her words. “That’s not what I meant.”
Jean took a quick shower, then dressed and made breakfast while Ry showered, shaved and put on clean clothes. They enjoyed a quiet morning together. It felt so settled, so comfortable…so much the way she wanted things to be.
As noon approached Ry suddenly jumped to his feet, grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the sofa.
“Come on…we’re going to be spontaneous.”
A startled Jean looked questioningly at him, but he only grinned without divulging what he had in mind.
It turned out to be a fun and carefree afternoon. They were two people in love who, to all outward appearances, didn’t have a worry in the world. They spent a delightful couple of hours browsing through Pike’s Market, then they went to the aquarium. Ry had even insisted that they take the harbor cruise as if they were tourists exploring Seattle for the first time. Jean took a deep breath and slowly expelled it as the utter contentment settled over her. It had been a perfect day.
Ry stayed at Jean’s condo late into the evening. They sat in front of the fireplace silently watching the flames, each comfortable and content to just be in the other’s arms. He didn’t want to leave her. He didn’t want to go back to his hotel suite and the empty bed. He knew it wasn’t a matter of sex for the sake of physical release. It was so much more, so much deeper and real. It was a physical relationship that enhanced an all consuming emotional attachment. She was all important to him—the most important thing in his life. But would he ever be able to tell her? It was a question he didn’t have an answer for. A question he was afraid to answer.
Ry shifted his position, stirring Jean out of her lazy contentment. “I hate to do this, but I’m afraid I have to head back to my hotel room. It’s late and tomorrow is the start of the work week.” He kissed her tenderly on the forehead, then on the cheek. “It’s been a lovely weekend, at least the Saturday night and Sunday part of it. Thank you for spending it with me.”
“I really enjoyed our impromptu adventure today. It’s been a long time since I’ve been that spontaneous.”
He rose to his feet, then pulled her into his arms. “I hope we can spend a lot more days like this.” He lingered a few minutes longer, not wanting to leave her company. Finally he kissed her tenderly on the lips, picked up his overnight bag and reluctantly left.
Jean watched as he backed his car out of her driveway and drove down the street. Sunday had been such a glorious day. It had almost erased from her mind that terrible moment when she had opened the door to Marjorie—a moment that brought back the shame and guilt from her past, the unbearable moment when she found out she had been played for a fool and used by a man she trusted. Would Ry ever be able to understand how something like that could happen? How someone could be so totally manipulated by someone else’s selfish demands? Would it be part of her past that she would ever be able to share with him? She didn’t know.
But before that obstacle could be tackled there was a much more important and imminent situation to deal with. There was the fact that she was pregnant with Ry’s child and somehow he needed to be told. Would it mean the end of their relationship? A cold shudder confirmed a possibility she didn’t want to acknowledge.