TEN

 

Monday came all too soon. Having telephoned Olivia Sunday afternoon, I knew Natasha and Seth were still avoiding each other like the plague. It seemed Seth had gone out kite-sailing for the morning and spent the afternoon on a cruise tour. Natasha had sat in her room watching old movies and crying. I had decided it was my duty as a friend to try and reunite them, and was going to do it this afternoon, come heaven or high tide. With the help of Olivia, of course.

But, for now, I had to concentrate on class, and having to come face to face with T.J.—assuming he came to class. I thought it ironic the subject of today’s lecture was on determinism and free will. If T.J. did show, I was in for a lively discussion between him and Farley.

I arrived before any of the students so I would appear composed and nonplussed. I had taken copious notes to add to the former Miranda’s lecture materials so I wasn’t talking off the cuff.

Whatever happened, I felt up to the challenge. T.J. walked in, leveled an icy glare at me, and without speaking, sat in his seat. Then again, maybe not. Immediately afterward, Farley came in with a big smile on his face. “Hello, teach. Have you got all the sand out of your hair yet?” He winked with a nod in T.J.’s direction.

T.J. puffed up like a bantam rooster. Farley should know better than to chide him first thing.

“Oh, I managed to, thanks.” I picked up my lecture notes and tapped them on the desk to straighten them, then took them to the podium and tried to look official. As the class filled, I spoke. “In the field of metaphysics, there are two opposing theories known as determinism and free will. Determinism supposes that everything that happens, including human cognition, is determined by a chain of events that have already occurred. Now, when I talk about human cognition, I’m referring not only to one’s perceptions, but to one’s memory, reasoning, judgment, imagining, thinking, and speech. In other words, nothing happens coincidently, or by chance.”

Around the room, all eyes were trained on me, except T.J.’s. He was looking down and writing. “This belief naturally challenges the concept of free will, which calls for rational beings’ ability to exercise control over their actions and decisions.”

“Some people, known as Compatibilists, believe these two theories can exist together. Incompatibilists state only free will exists. Can someone give me an example of one or both?”

I looked around the room afraid I’d just opened a can of worms. Farley raised his hand. “Yes?”

“I’m a believer in their reconciliation,” he said. “One can have free will over his decisions to the extent the laws of nature allow him. But, there is a natural order of everything in the universe. We all know that all creatures rely on natural balance for their continued existence. And if something tips the scales, chaos results. Think about greenhouse gases and the hole in the stratosphere. Therefore, man must live knowing he can only control a limited number of variables should he wish to continue to exist.”

T.J. raised his hand. “I have a slightly different take on it. I look at it like Jawaharlal Nehru, who said, ‘Life is like a game of cards. The  hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.’ You start with a set of skills in a situation determined by your parents. From there, you make life what it becomes.” He frowned. “I can’t bluff, so I hope the creator dealt me a really good hand.”

His eyes held a void that made me want to console him. How could I do that and not lose my mind in the bargain? I couldn’t let him think all I wanted to do was go to bed with a willing partner, because Farley had already proven that’s not what I wanted at all. Damn it to thunder, I wanted T.J.

* * * *

 

“So, he didn’t speak to you at all?” Olivia asked.

“Nope, not a word. He just walked out the door.”

“Not good. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” I propped my sunglasses on my head and squinted at her. “Why do you think I’m here? I want to solve Natasha’s problem, but I also seek help myself from you, oh wise married one.”

Olivia crossed her legs as we sat at the small café table sipping on ice cold lemonade. We’d come to neutral ground so neither Natasha or Seth were close by to hear us deliberate on a way to get them back together.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” she said. “In my case, Gregory did all the pursuing. T.J.’s going to be a hard nut to crack, especially since he perceives you’ve already proven you’re fickle.”

I winced. “Couldn’t you use another word?”

“Erratic, indiscriminate, two-timing?”

“Never mind. I wouldn’t be in this mess if Farley weren’t around all the time with his tongue hanging out waiting for me to throw him the proverbial bone.”

“You didn’t have to accept his invitations. You thought he was a hunk.”

“I still do, but not a ‘lip-searing, I want more now, baby’ hunk like T.J.” I leaned back in my chair. “It’s not like I desire him because he’s unavailable. I wanted him before that.” I looked over at her. “If I’d had my way the night of the dinner, I’d have been calling and asking you to drive that little jar of ‘Nipple Nuzzler’ over to my house.”

I sighed as I looked out over the beach. I was in paradise but it felt like a desert island with no hope of being rescued. “You know, I can understand if he doesn’t want to get burned like he did before when that woman died, but I’m not terminal. The fact he won’t sleep with me doesn’t mean he can’t pursue me if he’s interested, does it?”

“No, you’re right.” Olivia smiled. “Sounds like he’s playing hard-to-get, but that so isn’t the typical man’s role.”

“I know.”

“Okay, then you don’t assume the typical woman’s role.”

“You agree I ought to be the aggressor?” I was surprised. She’d been dead set against me doing that.

“No, I don’t. But, you don’t have to act interested. Tell him since he doesn’t want to rush into a romantic relationship, you can be just good friends.”

“That’s not going to get either one of us very far. We’ll be at a stalemate.”

“Not if someone keeps bringing the two of you together.” She pulled her suntan lotion out of her tote and applied more on her face. “Every time he looks around, there you’ll be, but through no fault of your own.”

“Come on, who’s the someone who could pull that off?”

“Josh.” Olivia giggled. “He’s played golf with him again since you saw him during the picnic and they have a tee-off time today. The guy’s even been over to Mystic Dream.”

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope.

“I’m game if Josh is.”

“Now as for Natasha and Seth.” Olivia swirled the ice in her glass. “I think it’s time you have a nice sisterly conversation with Seth about the facts of life.” She leaned forward, a sparkle of mischief in her face. “Don’t forget to mention you’re concerned about the man you saw her out with.”

“But she’s been in her room crying over old movies.”

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe so, but he doesn’t need to know that. You know how he is. He’s the competitive type.”

* * * *

 

Olivia said Seth had gone to Jacksonville that afternoon to see the Alexander Brest Planetarium. It was located inside the Museum of Science and History. If I’d had to guess where he may have gone, this would have been number one on my list of top ten choices. I found him coming out of the planetarium part and back into the museum proper.

He stared at me, his mouth open in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“I was looking for you. I wanted to talk.”

He shook his head. “Miranda, I know you and Olivia both mean well, but honestly, you don’t have to baby me. I’m just doing my own thing.”

“I wonder if it’s really your own thing or is it an escape from your own thing? I mean, visiting a planetarium is something you do at home all the time.”

“Well, back home they don’t have cosmic concerts. This place has laser light shows starting at eight o’clock at night.”

I dragged him over to a bench and we sat down. “That’s fine, but it’s mid-afternoon right now.”

“I didn’t feel like sticking around the house.”

“Why—because of Natasha?”

He looked up in my eyes, and I saw pain in his gaze. “All I did was kiss her.”

“You’ve given her a brotherly peck a million times, but from what I hear, this time it wasn’t very brotherly.”

He looked off in the distance. “No, it wasn’t. That’s why I got the hell out of there.” He turned on the bench and grasped my hand. “I don’t want to lose my friend. I’ve fought with her for centuries. I look forward to our skirmishes. It’s like playing chess.”

“You may like the banter, but I can tell you all your friends are getting a little tired of it. You know why? Because long ago we recognized it for what it really is.”

“All right, smarty pants, what is it?”

“Mental foreplay.”

He laughed. “I beg your pardon?”

I nodded. “Natasha’s used the line to us over and over again, ‘The mind is our most erotic organ.’”

“Well she’s got some more erotic parts,” he said. “Like her tongue.”

“Funny.” I grinned. “She mentioned yours as well.”

He got a shit-eating grin on his face. He crossed his legs and pumped one. “What else did she say?”

“Not much. She was devastated when you left so suddenly.”

“How could you tell? Natasha has a stone face that can hide all emotion.”

“Well, her neck sure can’t. This time her face didn’t either.”

He leaned forward and stared at me. “She cried? She’s never cried.”

“She did this time.”

He looked sheepish, as he uncrossed his legs. “What am I supposed to do?”

“You might tell her you’re sorry.” I stole a glance over at him. “You might even tell her you love her.”

“Looove?”

I nodded.

“No, let’s don’t go that far. That’s going way too deep for me. I wouldn’t be able to wade out.”

I patted him on the knee. “Take it from me. There’s such a thing as too slow. Love doesn’t always scream. There’s an old saying. It goes like this, ‘Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint—like a heartbeat. And pure love—why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.’”

“Okay, so I’ll apologize and see what happens.” He looked away from me. “In a few days.”

“Whatever you want to do.” I sighed. “I just hope it’s not too late.”

His head jerked around faster than whiplash from a crash. “Why would it be too late?”

“I’m sure it’s nothing.” I shrugged. “Olivia told me to mention I saw Natasha out with a guy.” Truth be told, she had. I didn’t have to say it really hadn’t happened. That’s not lying, is it?

* * * *

 

That evening, Olivia and I implemented “Operation Aloof.” Josh had even given me pointers. Although we had to make him promise not to say anything to T.J. about what we were up to. In turn, we vowed we’d do nothing to damage his new friendship.

Before leaving, Olivia had selected my outfit. I’d dressed with care in strappy sandals, and a short, deep purple sundress with plunging neckline. At the Mezza Luna Restaurant, I spotted Josh and T.J. seated at a corner table near the front and waved at them then began my fruitless search for my dinner companions.

Not locating them, I sauntered back to Josh. “Olivia and Gregory are supposed to be meeting me here. Do you know what’s happened?”

“Sorry, no. You might try calling them.”

I hit speed dial number one. “Olivia, it’s Miranda here…Oh, I see. Yes, I understand…No, of course not…I’ll see you tomorrow.” Shoulders slumped, I put the phone back in my purse and sighed. “David’s sick, too much sun and ice cream. And with everything that’s going on, well…” My shoulders sagged a little more, “I’ll see you around.”

“Since you’re already here, why don’t you join us?” Josh said,  ignoring T.J.’s look of surprise.

“Okay if you’re sure you two don’t mind.” I sat down at the table.

T.J. smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Been on any good picnics lately? Or is the fear of being hit by a golf ball keeping you off the beach?”

“Oh, speaking of golf balls, I meant to give this back to you after class.” I handed him his Titlest. “No more picnics, but Farley wants to teach me golf.”

“Seems he’s a pro at a lot of things,” T.J. growled.

“At least he won’t have to teach me about the constellations.” I set my clutch in my lap, then covered it with a napkin. “A glass of red wine please.” I waved off the wine list. “The house Cabernet Sauvignon’s fine.”

His gaze softened. I supposed he was remembering the night we’d had dinner. “I’m sorry, I’m being a crab. That’s me, Cancer. I had a lousy day on the links. Just ask Josh.”

“That’s true,” Josh laughed. “He couldn’t get a hole in six, much less a hole in one.”

I sat staring at T.J., momentarily transfixed. I wonder how many tries he’d have to make to get a hole in one in the bedroom. I bet not more than one.

He looked at me strangely and broke into a smile. “I can do it when I try.”

For some odd reason I thought he was answering me instead of Josh. “I’m sure you can,” I said in what Olivia and Natasha claim is my Greta Garbo voice. The waiter brought my glass and uncorked the bottle in front of me, then poured and left. I swirled my wine and sniffed. “Ummm oak, currant, just a touch of cedar and violets. Lovely.”

“Bet she isn’t effervescent and sensual, exhibiting the freshness of spring and the aroma of fresh fruit, crisp at first sip but, with a soft finish.”

“You must have a photographic memory.”

“No. I just know my wines. May I?”

I passed my glass to him. He took a sip and swished it in his mouth, then swallowed.

Oh to be as lucky as that cabernet.

He chuckled, as he looked up at me. Then he took a long exhale. “Ahh, this one is riveting and provocative, exhibiting hidden passions with the aromas of fresh firm currants waiting to burst into full bodied flavor with one caress from your tongue.”

I prayed to the heavens my purple dress didn’t dampen, otherwise the silk would show a stain.

“Wow, T.J.,” Josh said. “I wish you’d teach me some of those descriptions so I can use them on Hazel.”

“You have to feel them from the heart.” He smiled, looking at me through heavily lidded eyes.

“Well if you’ll excuse me for a minute.” Josh cleared his throat. “I’m going to wash my hands.” He left the table.

My breathing a little shallow and rapid, I leaned over and whispered in T.J.’s ear, “Not only are you smart and witty, but you’re sensual, too.”

His breath brushed my lips. “I meant to be.”

I pulled back, my hand on my heart trying to slow its racing and slightly abnormal rhythm. I needed to keep my mind on the goal, not a short-term flirtation. “If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you were coming on to me.”

His forehead furrowed. “Know better?”

“You said you want to take it slow, not have sex without love. I’ve thought about it, and that’s okay. I’d like to be your friend.”

“It is? You would?”

“Absolutely.” I smiled and patted his hand. “We’ll be friends. We may even become best friends.”

I bit back a grin as he slumped in his chair.