Steve guided the women to an Ogeechee River location where the water was deeper and swifter and where the banks had more of an incline. After repeating their instructions of the previous day, he added a caution he had forgotten: “Watch out for large rocks in stream beds; they’ll bust a rim or a spoke. If a river is too bad on the trail, we’ll have to use an extra team to help pull wagons across. That causes delays but can’t be helped. We’ll have to ferry or float wagons across the worst sites; it slows us more when wheels have to be removed along with loads then replaced on the other side. Now, if nobody has a question, let’s get moving.”
Ginny was apprehensive but not terrified. Her biggest worry was making a mistake that would cause Steve to scold her. She kept her concentration at peak level and used everything he had taught her. Paying attention was simpler when the handsome man wasn’t close.
At one point, Steve had to climb aboard Cathy King’s wagon to get it unstuck after the dark-haired woman let it halt in midriver and mire down, on purpose Ginny surmised with annoyance. She watched how the two of them had to sit close and snug on the short seat with bodies touching. She witnessed how Cathy brazenly and wantonly gazed into the scout’s eyes and thanked him for rescuing her. She fumed, knowing she would have been scolded whereas Cathy didn’t receive the slightest reprimand. For all she knew, the guide didn’t care about the woman’s marital status; Cathy certainly didn’t. If the sultry flirt had her way, she would entice Steve into the woods to roll on the ground, and he might go! In England, she had heard gossip about men having mistresses or fiery moments in the arms and beds of wedded women. Her anger mounted with’ her jealousy. She warned herself to cease her distraction.
After the women made two successful crossings in a row, the smiling teacher told them to take a break then meet for self-defense lessons.
The women gathered near camp, some reluctant about this class. But even with scowls or pouts, everyone listened to Steve’s instructions about how to fight and defend oneself. When he asked for a volunteer to help him demonstrate several ways to respond to an attack and to gain escape, Cathy King almost leapt forward with eagerness for contact with him.
Ginny observed as Cathy giggled and practically fondled Steve as he showed them what to do if someone grabbed them. She fumed more and more as time passed.
When Steve had finished his demonstration, he turned to the women. “The secret is to be quick, to take your attacker off guard and by surprise. If you can’t find something nearby to use as a weapon to club him with, react fast and flee… Who’s next?”
As if by prearranged signal, Ellie, Lucy, Ruby, and Mary pushed Ginny into the human circle and shouted, “You, Anna.”
Ginny balked and protested, “I paid attention; I don’t need to do it.”
“If she doesn’t want to, Steve, I’ll continue to be your target,” Cathy said coyly.
“That’s all right, Mrs. King, but thank you anyhow. Come and give me a try, Miss Avery. Prove you wouldn’t be helpless and vulnerable if you were to be attacked.”
Ginny was challenged to make an attempt to best the grinning man. She prayed she could do it, but the supplication wasn’t heard above. As she tried to do as Steve had instructed and shown, she was tossed to the ground and pinned there with a knee to the small of her back while he roped her like a calf for branding. With her hands and feet bound behind her and lying on her stomach, she was relieved she was wearing pants today, thanks to- Charles Avery’s generosity. She wanted to scream curses at the chuckling man but refused to be goaded into bad behavior before others.
Steve withdrew the knife from his boot and sliced through the short rope he had snatched from around one gunbutt and used to capture the now-infuriated woman with blazing eyes. “See, without training and practice, you can be taken quick and easy by a determined man. Try me again.”
Ginny tried to entangle his ankle and flip him over her shoulder. She found herself lying on the ground with Steve straddling her and his hands imprisoning her wrists to the hard earth. She felt his knees touching her sides and was staring up into a cocky—seductive?-—expression. She wanted to shriek for him to get off her! She knew no one could see his face, the look he was giving her. For a crazy instant, she wished they were alone and wished he would lower his body to hers and… Turbulence raced through her as she feared he was playing with her, trying to humiliate her in front’ of the others. She narrowed and chilled her gaze.
Steve was inflamed by the contact, by the way she first looked at him. Her breathing was rapid and shallow, and her chest rose and fell from exertion, straining against the taut material of her shirt. Perspiration gleamed on her exquisite face, and she was dusty. Her hair was flared around her head like a light-brown pillow. Shu, what he would give to bend forward and kiss that parted mouth. He would give even more to rest his body atop and within hers. He had stalled her release too long, so he stood and pulled her up with him. “Try me again.”
“This isn’t a fair test, Mr. Carr. You’re on alert, whereas you said our real opponents wouldn’t be. How can I take you by surprise when you’re awaiting my attack and prepared to parry it?” Before he could answer, Ginny lowered her chin as if to catch her breath and calm her anger. The moment Steve relaxed, she lunged forward and slammed him in the gut with her head, knocking him to the ground. She fled to the safety of the ring of women and turned to gloat at him for her clever escape.
Steve looked at her from his seat on the grass and said without smiling, “See, even a man on guard can be fooled and beaten. Who’s next?”
When it was time to break for lunch, everyone had practiced with Steve. As Ginny headed for her wagon to wash up for the meal, the roguish scout caught up with her and murmured in a tone only she could hear, “You need a bath, Miss Avery; you’re a mite dirty and sweaty after scuffling with me.”
Don’t let him provoke you to say or do something foolish, Ginny. “You’re right, as always, but it will have to wait until this evening. If I’m late for afternoon class, I’ll be curtly scolded,” she retorted and kept walking.
Steve dropped by the Davis campsite before her arrival to thank Ellie for the food she had left for him last night, which had included apple pie.’
“It wasn’t me, Mr. Carr; it was Anna. Her father brought it to her. Since she eats with us, she gave it to you. She’s a kind and thoughtful young woman. She’s really trying hard to do good with her lessons. It must be terribly hard for a girl who hasn’t had a mother to teach her much, and she’s been away from home and her father for so long. She’s lived such a sheltered existence, so this challenge must be difficult for her.”
“You’re probably right, ma’am. Thank her for me, will you?”
“It would mean more to her if it came from you,” Ellie suggested, as she sensed the attraction between them and thought them a good match.
He nodded and left. He wondered why Anna would do such a kindness and keep it a secret. Wouldn’t she want the credit? Of course, he mused, she figured he’d seek out the thoughtful person and discover it was her! She was a sly and wily female after all.
That afternoon they walked for three hot and tiring miles. Ginny passed Steve as she entered camp and refused to glance his way or speak. She told herself that maybe he couldn’t decide how he felt or how to behave. If she ignored him for a while, maybe that would coerce a decision from him.
Dark, threatening clouds moved overhead before meals were cooked and served and evening chores were done. The wind increased in force and intent; it yanked at limbs, clothes, hair, and canvases. A heaviness in the air warned of an imminent storm. Menacing rumbles said it would lash out at them any moment. Everyone hurried to prepare for its assault. Baths were skipped or taken swiftly. Possessions were either stored inside or placed underneath the wagon on waterproof cloths.
Ginny took all the precautions with the animals and wagon she had learned. While she was checking and securing the mules’ ropes and stakes, the storm struck with a fury. A torrential rain poured down in a rush before she could finish and dash inside. The beasts were startled by the loud thunder and flashes of lightning. She patted and spoke soothingly to them until they calmed. When she turned to head for the wagon, she saw Steve running toward her, as drenched as she was.
“Anything wrong?” he questioned, gazing at the water dripping from her face and at the soaked curls plastered to her face. Her shirt did the same clingy task on her chest but he pretended not to notice.
She explained what she was doing over the loud and combined noises of rain, wind, and thunder. “I’m finished now and going inside.”
“You don’t have your tarp on the front. A rain this heavy will seep inside and ruin things. I’ll help you.” He grasped her hand and pulled her to the wagon. He climbed onto the tongue, lifted the jockey box lid, and withdrew a large waterproof cloth. He showed her how to toss it over the box and seat, then secure it in place. The way he positioned one edge created a valley that allowed rain to run off left and right of the wooden bed. “Let’s get inside and see if anything needs moving out of the water.”
Steve leapt aboard the tailgate, hauled her up as easily as lifting a feather, then closed the opening behind them. He saw that the center of the wagon was clear of obstacles, as she hadn’t put down her bedding yet. He moved forward and checked for puddles at the front. “Nothing to worry about, just a little damp.” He handed her several items that needed moving out of possible harm’s way if wind ripped the cover loose. “That should do it. You best get dried off and changed before a chill sets in.”
“Thank you for the help. I’m sorry I didn’t know about the tarp.”
“Think nothing of it, Miss Avery; it hasn’t been the subject of a lesson yet.”
As they stepped over a crate, Ginny’s foot was snagged by the fastener and she lost her balance. Steve grabbed for her, and both began falling toward the back. The motion of their actions caused the bedding to topple to the floor before they reached it, softening their landing. Steve was half atop Ginny, so she was captive between him and the soft bedding.
Steve chuckled and remarked as he patted the feather mattress, “That was good timing; or both of us might have been injured.”
Ginny noticed that he didn’t move off her; nor did she push him aside. “Thank you for the rescue,” she murmured, unsettled and wary.
“You’re welcome, Anna.” He pushed wet curls from her face as he smiled. “You’re soaked.”
Ginny couldn’t help but smile in return. “So are you, Steve.”
Without lifting his elbow from near her shoulder, he leaned his head forward and fingercombed his sable hair. “A mess, eh?”
“No,” she heard herself murmur. His virile body felt like a copper bedwarmer on a wintry night. She couldn’t break his powerful hold on her gaze. His dark-brown eyes were glowing and his mood was entreating. It was almost as if she could hear them beckoning: Kiss me; love me, Ginny. Her eyes drifted over his rain-slick face and settled on his mouth.
Steve observed her actions and felt her tremble. “Cold?” he asked, though he knew she wasn’t. He wondered if she realized he was also aquiver with desire. His body felt aflame. A curious tension held him rigid and refused to allow him to leave her. He knew that was what he should do, and pronto.
Ginny’s hands rested against his broad chest. She felt his heart pounding against her fingertips and palms; it surprised and pleased her to have such a powerful effect on him. Her gaze was drawn back to his as she finally shook her head to his query. His mood was mellow and enthralling, as was his dark gaze. Almost against her will, her fingers seized his shirt and pulled him toward her.
Steve responded to the unspoken invitation. His mouth covered hers and parted her lips. His fingers wiggled into her drenched hair, clasped her head, and held it still as his mouth worked hungrily at hers. A groan escaped his throat as he pressed closer and tighter against her. The lightning outside couldn’t be charged with more energy than he was.
Ginny’s arms banded the dazing scout’s waist. She clung to him, stroked his back, and urgently returned his kiss. A surge of unfamiliar heat licked over her flesh. Love claimed and ruled her heart.
A thunderbolt crashed loudly outside and vibrated the wagon. The mules nearby brayed in panic. Steve came to his senses and leaned away from Ginny. Her cheeks were flushed with passion and her eyes were glazed by it. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. If they weren’t in a camp filled with people—any one of whom could approach any second and discover this reckless scene—he would make her his. He would brand her with a love she would never forget, remove, or match.
Ginny blushed as reality and his withdrawal destroyed the dreamy illusion. She didn’t know what to say or do; they had gotten carried away by desire. She recalled she had been the one to initiate it, to encourage it. What must he think about her, a so-called lady entreating… seduction?
“I’ve been wondering for days what that would taste and feel like. You’ve learned your wiles well, Miss Avery; you’re one powerful temptation. I’d best get out of this hot box before we both say and do something foolish.”
“You’re right, Mr. Carr. I apologize for… behaving so badly and rashly. You’re also a powerful temptation, and I’m unaccustomed to…” Surely he recognized an innocent without her admitting to being one. “I don’t know what possessed me to act that way,” she lied. “I’m ashamed and embarrassed. Please don’t tell Father I lost my wits.”
“Don’t worry, Miss Avery, I won’t. He might horsewhip me for letting the situation get out of control. I promise it won’t happen again.” He told himself he was only inching closer to her because of his mission, and he dared his troubled mind or racing heart to argue with him.
“Thank you, and I’ll also make certain it doesn’t.” She watched Steve loosen the cord and hop over the tailgate. She heard the thud and squish of his boots against the softening ground. She commanded herself to get up and resecure the opening against the bad weather.
Ginny flopped down on the bedding and rested a forearm over her eyes. She had the urge to cry in frustration but fought it down. How could you have been so stupid, so wanton? You rebuke Cathy King, then behave as badly or worse. Whatever got into you, Virginia Marston? You’ve never acted like this before. Damn you, Steve Carr, you have too strong of a pull on me. I have to be extra careful around you in the future.
When the storm lessened near dusk but still didn’t cease, tents of tarp were put up for cooking underneath. Grassy spots were chosen to cut down on mud. The men built fires, and ‘ smoke soon curled around the shelter’s edges. When the flames were right, meals were began by the women.
Ginny put on a rain slicker and helped Ellie Davis as usual. She doubted anyone had seen Steve enter, remain too long, and depart her wagon; the storm had been in full force and all wagons had been closed tightly against its intrusion.
As she worked, she wondered whether Steve was attracted to her and just being defensive, or if he had, as men were said to do, merely taken advantage of something offered, or if he truly wanted her to leave him alone. She was to blame for the heady incident, so she shouldn’t fault him for responding. Still, it would be unfair—was cruel—for him to play with her emotions, to abuse her weakness for him. She ordered herself to forget about Steve and the intoxicating moment for now.
The scout was joining the Kings for supper. From the corner of her eye, she saw Steve and Cathy laughing and chatting. She couldn’t forget how the woman clearly craved him. Nor could she halt the flood of envy and jealousy that surged through her. It was almost as if Steve knew of her gaze upon him and was behaving that way on purpose. She should be angry but it tormented her.
It rained most of the night, and Ginny slept little. Part of her restlessness had to do with the two Davis girls sleeping with her. They were active even in slumber and she was unaccustomed to bedmates. She had offered to let them stay so Ellie and the others would have more room inside their cluttered wagon where the weather had driven them. It had been a kindness that was taking its toll on her. As dawn approached, the weary Ginny was exhausted and tense.
Ginny watched Steve chat with Cathy after breakfast. What difference did it make, she fumed, that the bold woman had approached him? That Steve didn’t say a few polite words and walk away as he should have to prevent suspicions in others, particularly in Ed King, who had to be blind or stupid not to be aware of his wife’s flirtation? Maybe the Kings wanted something special from the scout and Cathy was softening him up to get it.
How far, she worried, had the relationship between Cathy and Steve been taken? Had they stolen kisses and caresses during walks when they were last to return or those times he had gone back to fetch her? Had Cathy sneaked into the woods to meet with him? Would Steve Carr do such a wicked and dangerous thing? Surely not, as he took his job too seriously and was too proud to risk humiliation.
Besides, the virile male had spurned her in the wagon yesterday when she had practically begged him to seduce her. She had lost her wits and self-control, and he had been the one to use his to halt their behavior. Just because he didn’t want you that way doesn’t mean he doesn’t want Cathy. After all, she’s experienced and hot-blooded, you’re only— Stop it, Ginny; you’re letting this get to you too much.
The next morning, Steve said, “Thanks to a timely rain, this is the perfect day to practice driving through and getting out of mud.” He gave them instructions before they hitched their teams and began the lesson.
Since keeping the correct pace and avoiding perilous spots were the main two safety measures, Ginny paid the most attention to them.
It was almost time for lunch. Once or twice they had halted to rehearse getting started again after a stop with wheels sunk into mire. Only a couple of women had gotten stuck or couldn’t get moving again and had required Steve’s help. Neither of them was Cathy King who, Ginny assumed, was smart enough to realize she couldn’t be all over the scout all the time.
They headed for rest and food. Two wagons became stuck in the overworked ground, as Steve had chosen a saturated dirt area that had been trampled by them into mush. One was Ginny’s, who tried her best to free the captive wagon so he wouldn’t have to help her in her foul mood.
Steve sent the others onward to camp with Louise Jackson in charge. He helped the other woman first, as she wasn’t mired down as deeply.
Before the scout reached Ginny, she took an ax and trudged through graspy earth to chop off pine limbs from nearby trees. She hauled them to the wagon, got down on her knees, and worked them around and under the captive rim; that would give it something to grip for pulling out of the mud hole. She had seen carriage drivers in England use this method. She was about to climb aboard to test her solution when Steve arrived.
He looked at the draggled female, eyed her work, and said, “That’s clever, Miss Avery, but what if no tree limbs are around on a prairie?”
Ginny mused a moment, then walked to the side. She ignored the mud she was getting on her hands and clothes to kneel and remove the limbs. She went to the front, opened the jockey box, and took out a hammer. She walked to the back and climbed inside, then unloaded a sturdy crate and shoved it to the ground. She didn’t say a word as she took the box apart and laid the hammer and nails on the tailgate. She used the wood slabs as she had the limbs. Within minutes, she was free, and no wooden piece had been broken, only one cracked a little. She hopped down—glad she was in pants and boots again today— and put the crate together again. She left it in the back to wash off the mud before replacing the items she had removed. When the hammer was returned to its location, she climbed aboard and said, “All done. See you in camp.”
Steve had observed in silence. He was impressed by her quick wits. She was definitely learning how to take care of herself. As he watched her, he couldn’t get the passionate scene in her wagon off his mind. He had to make sure it happened again soon. He rode up beside her and unwisely teased, “You and your clothes will need a good scrubbing, Miss Avery. I’m surprised a lady would roll in the mud like that.”
Her overcrowded mind retorted, Better than rolling in the grass with another man’s wife!Don’t let him provokeyou, Ginny. You’re just tired and edgy and miserable, and angry. Show him you can controlyour temper. “I know “it’s unlike a lady not to look her best, but there are times when she can’t; this is one of them. It’s more important to do my lessons and appease my teacher than to look ready for a Sunday stroll.”
“Then you’ve learned one of the most important lessons of all: never let anything or anyone stand in the way of doing what you must.”
“That advice couldn’t come from a more appropriate source.”
“Appropriate… suitable,” Steve murmured. “Yep, you’re right.”
For a moment, Ginny had thought he didn’t know that word, and she was amazed he did. But actually, she admitted, he seemed quite educated.
After they reached camp, Ginny unhitched the team and led them to the river to drink. She carried a bucket along to rinse off most of the mud, as it would surely be uncomfortable after it dried. She staked them near her campsite as usual and stored the harnesses underneath the wagon. Just to pique Steve, she didn’t take a bath, only washed her face and hands. Nor did she change clothes or brush and rebraid her mussed hair. She was relieved the other women didn’t groom themselves, either.
The women took their three-mile walk following lunch, because Steve said it was going to storm again later and they needed to get their chores and meal preparations completed earlier than usual.
Ginny hung back with Lucy Eaves. Her bad ankle was swollen and slowing her friend’s pace. Ginny knew it must be aching and suggested she fetch Steve to give Lucy a ride to camp.
Lucy thanked her, but refused. “I have to do this for myself. It’ll be fine by morning; it always is. It’s just the wet weather bothering it. Why don’t you go on ahead? I’ll be fine. I’m ruining your pace.”
“I don’t care about that. Our demanding teacher will understand,” Ginny told her, but wasn’t convinced he would. She never knew what to expect from the unpredictable creature.
Steve didn’t say a word to either woman as they entered camp. He knew why they were slow. He saw how brave and determined Lucy was and how thoughtful Anna was. An idea came to mind and he went to work on it.
“You don’t have to do this, Anna,” Lucy protested, but she was inwardly delighted.
“Yes I do. We’re friends. You keep that foot in saltwater soak while I do the chores. Just correct me when I go astray. You know I’m not well trained in the kitchen,” she reminded with a laugh.
After the Eaves family and Ginny ate the meal she had cooked, Ginny made Lucy sit down while she did the dishes and put things away. She helped Jeff prepare everything for the approaching storm.
Afterward, she sat on the ground and rubbed liniment into Lucy’s ankle, foot, and calf. “Am I hurting you?” Ginny asked as she gently but firmly massaged the aggravated area.
Lucy smiled and sighed almost dreamily. “No, and you’re so kind to tend me this way. I feel like a pampered child; it’s heaven.”
“You deserve good treatment. I’ll do this again tomorrow.”
Ginny hurried to get her own chores and preparations finished, then gathered her things and headed for the designated bathing area to scrub off the mud and to wash her filthy garments. She wasn’t about to share her bed with mud or to dirty the wagon with it. When she heard voices around the bend in the path, she ducked behind some bushes after she recognized one as Cathy’s and the other as Steve’s. She told herself the action was silly, but she didn’t want to meet and speak with either one. They passed her concealed location and stopped ahead, out of hearing range. Ginny refused to risk exposing herself. She must wait in concealment until they left and hoped that would be soon.
Steve was annoyed with the dark-haired beauty for seeking him out in the woods. He knew, if discovered, it would appear improper and could be hazardous to his mission. He was tired of the woman grasping at him and offering herself. He suspected he was going to have to be harsh with her to make her behave. When she pleaded for a stop to the exhausting walks, he told her, “You need the stamina, ma’am. You’ll soon be doing it daily on the trail, so you’d better get used to it now.”
“You could tell the others I have a good reason I can’t do it, perhaps a bad ankle or leg like Lucy Eaves has.”
“I don’t lean toward lies and tricks, Mrs. King; they cause trouble.”
“I could reward you,” she purred, pressing her body close to his and lacing her fingers behind his neck. She tried to kiss him.
Steve grasped her hands and worked them free, careful not to get any telltale scratches from her nails. He captured her chin to keep her from rising to attempt another kiss. “Don’t do this, Mrs. King.”
“Why not? I want you, and you want me.”
“That isn’t true. Don’t force me to embarrass you with the truth.”
Ginny couldn’t watch any more. She hated the way Steve cupped the woman’s face. She couldn’t bear to see them kiss, so she gingerly slipped from her hiding place and escaped the tormenting scene.
The rain began before Ginny finished washing her shirt and pants and cleaning her boots. Her clean skirt and blouse would get soaked before she reached cover but she didn’t care; they would dry. The drops felt cool, refreshing, soothing, even stimulating to her weary body and troubled spirit. She stuffed her things into a cloth sack and flung the laundry over one arm to head back.
The downpour increased and played mischief with her vision. Peals of thunder boomed overhead and lightning flashed in zigzag patterns. She assumed everyone was inside their wagons by now so there was no one who knew she was gone and would worry—or so she thought. She almost collided with Steve Carr as she hurried along the path. Blinking away raindrops as she looked up into his sullen expression, she said, “I’m coming; I’m coming.”
“Get to your wagon, woman! Don’t you realize it’s dangerous to be away from camp alone? With the storm’s noise and everybody inside, a scream for help wouldn’t be heard. If anything happened to you, Anna, I’d be held to blame. Why take this foolish risk?”
“I was helping Lucy. Her ankle looked awful. She can’t walk like the rest of us. You’re mean to force her to aggravate it with exercise.”
Steve knew what she had been doing. “There are times she’ll have to walk, Miss Avery. She knows and accepts that; she doesn’t complain.”
“She wouldn’t, and you know it,” Ginny told him. “She won’t have to walk. When she can’t drive her wagon, she can drive mine, and I’ll walk.”
“What about your father?” Steve reminded and tested her.
“He has a horse; he can ride him. There are times when a person can’t do his share of the work and others have to help them.”
Steve sensed anger and tension. “You’re in a foul mood today.”
“Why shouldn’t I be? You pick at me half the time. I don’t appreciate being hog-tied for your amusement or constantly corrected like a bad child. You’re mean to me and Lucy. Since you obviously don’t like me, Mr. Carr, why not leave me alone? Stop playing spiteful games with me.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, looking confused and intrigued.
“Do you want the truth?” she challenged, egged on by her strain. Be honest, Ginny, so you can clear the air.
“Of course,” Steve murmured without thinking of the consequences.
“A few times you’ve reacted too strongly, even if you had just cause for your annoyance. You have a heavy responsibility for a lot of people; I realize that. But you and I rub each other wrong. I’m a friendly and open person; you’re the opposite; our differences somehow offend and irritate you. You mistake those traits as false pretenses and womanly wiles. In clear terms, you think I’m a fake, spoiled, can’t or won’t learn the lessons, will delay the journey, make you look bad, and will be too friendly to you. You don’t believe a lady can carry her weight on the trail. Whether or not it’s intentional, you’re tougher on me than on the others.”
“How do you know what I think or feel?”
“Actually, I don’t,” she admitted, “because you keep me in a constant state of confusion and tension with your contradictory behavior, but that’s the impression you’ve given me. Correct me if I’m wrong.”
“I thought you had confidence in me.”
“I do. I believe you’re a very capable teacher and skilled guide.”
“But you have a low opinion of me as a person?”
“No. I just don’t think you like me or trust me or that you’re fair to me.”
“Do you think I should give you special treatment?”
“That isn’t what I mean. Louise and Mattie and… others give you a hard time, unjustly I’ll add, but you aren’t mean to them. Why single me out to be scolded and embarrassed so many times?”
Steve came up with a logical explanation. “You need toughening up the most. Your distractions endanger me, yourself, and the others; I’ve explained that to you. What Mrs. Jackson, Epps, and… others do is annoying but not dangerous. I see no need to make them behave worse by reprimanding them. But with you, corrections improve your progress and you don’t get spiteful and rebellious, or I didn’t think you would.”
“I’m to take that as a compliment?” she scoffed, ignoring the storm.
Steve did, too. “Why, Miss Avery, I do believe you’ve been hiding a naughty and defiant streak. You have more sides and surprises to your personality than a box,” he teased to relax them both. As he did so, he cupped her face as he’d done with Cathy while setting the vixen straight.
The same scene came to Ginny’s tormented mind and she was provoked to warn, “Don’t make fun of me, you bastard.”
Steve went rigid and glared at her. He was piqued into a rash reply. “Yep, so I guess it comes natural for me to act like what I am.”
Ginny was stunned and she gaped at him. He was serious! Telling the truth! On purpose? Was that the root of his—
“Sorry if I shocked you, Miss Avery; it slipped out.”
Even though he was the one to apologize for a change, he did it with a sarcastic tone and expression. Her pleading heart went out to him. “I’m sorry, Steve; I didn’t mean to say that. You made me angry with your amusement at my expense. I like you and want to be friends, to have peace, a truce.”
She looked genuinely contrite but he discarded her plea. “Don’t be sorry or feel pity for me. I’m not the only bastard alive. The way some men and women carry on, who can be sure of their parentage? Take that King woman; her children could be fathered by three different men. If she doesn’t stop working on me to become number four, she’ll be sorry.”
Was that what influenced his feelings and behavior toward women? Toward her? At least, she had misunderstood the scene she had witnessed earlier. “I’m sorry you hate your mother so much.”
Steve stared at her strangely. “I don’t; I love her.” She realized he didn’t mention his father, if he knew who he was. She didn’t query him about the touchy subject. But why blame and hate the man involved and not the woman? Odd…
He was so drawn to her that he rebelled. “Just a friendly warning, Anna, if you have your sights set on me, don’t. I’m not available.”
“You’re married or you have a sweetheart?”
“Neither; past, present, or future. No place in my life for either one. A man like me only needs himself to tend.”
“That sounds awfully cold and hard and lonely, Steve.”
“Maybe so, but it suits me fine. I never allow myself to become vulnerable to other people’s demands or put myself in a position to suffer defeat. You shouldn’t, either. Be strong and smart, and you won’t.”
“You don’t trust anyone or let anyone get close?” she asked.
“Nope, I just trust myself.”
“That’s a hard way to exist, Steve.”
“Hasn’t been so far.”
“You don’t ever want to change your life?”
“Nope.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Why not?”
“Who would want to live that way on purpose?” she reasoned. “Besides, you’re too special to be alone forever.”
“Am I? A man like me will take whatever a woman offers him, even if he doesn’t feel the same way she does. Beware of devils like me, Anna Avery. We’re dangerous and untrustworthy and selfish.” And I’m worse things you don’t even know about.
Afraid of me, are you? “Is that a challenge to find out? To prove to you that you’re wrong about yourself?”
“Maybe so, because you’re one tempting woman, but don’t accept it. When you’ve had time to think about me carefully, you’ll realize I’m right, that I’m worse than any violent storm could be. Get back to camp now; the storm’s getting worse and it isn’t safe out here alone. Don’t do this again.”
Ginny grasped double meanings in his words. “Ste—”
“Don’t push, woman, or you’ll be sorry. Better listen to me and heed my words while I’m in a rare generous mood. Git!” he ordered.
Ginny obeyed him, but didn’t want to leave him or stop talking.
Steve watched her hurry out of sight when what he really wanted was to yank her into his arms and cover her mouth with kisses. He: leaned against a tree and took several deep breaths to calm himself. He was angry for making his reckless admission and for behaving like a fool. Niiguyaa, he must have a head full of stones! But his heart no longer felt like one, and that worried him. Whyever had he told her such a humiliating and bitter secret? Because she had unsettled him—taken him off guard— with her words, expressions, and allure. But she was ntu’i izee, bad medicine.
After she tossed her sack inside the wagon, Ginny hung her soaked garments over a rope she had suspended between two trees to allow them to dry. Drenched, she checked on the nervous mules and went to the Davis wagon.
After leaving Steve and while she was doing her tasks, she pondered this man she desired. She could imagine the anguish and hardships he must have endured without a loving father’s name, guidance, affection, and influence. It must have been a terrible cross to bear. Perhaps his mother had been ravished, or been a “soiled dove” who had gotten pregnant on the job, or had chosen to love and surrender to an unattainable man, one like her son had become.
Steve Carr was clearly a man in torment, with deep resentments, a scarred heart and troubled soul, and a tragic past. By his own admission, he didn’t want to trust or get close to anyone, especially a woman. She was beginning to grasp why he was so moody, defensive, and wary. He had become self-contained, stubborn, and tough to protect himself against being hurt again; but he was unaware that he was his biggest enemy and torturer. Without realizing it, he had become more like his father than he knew, or wanted to be, or would admit. She was positive he didn’t comprehend how much he needed love, comfort, and peace. Maybe his slip hadn’t been an accident; maybe his lost soul was reaching out to her for those things.
When Ellie responded to her call, Ginny said, “Give me a minute to get into dry clothes, then let Stuart bring the girls over for the night.”
“We don’t want to be trouble, Anna; we’ll have to sleep this way on the trail during bad weather.”
“No need to be cramped before it’s necessary,” she teased. “Truly, it’s no bother and everyone will be more comfortable.”
Ginny sat in a nightgown on the mattress with the two girls. She was tired and needed a good night’s sleep, but she needed a diversion more. The youngest provided it because she was afraid of the loud rain and thunder. “Let’s play a game,” she suggested. “Let’s close our eyes and make guesses what the storm sounds like to us. Ready?” Ginny asked when they agreed. When both answered at the same time, she said, “I’ll be first. Listen to the rain; it sounds like your mother… frying chicken or bacon. The thunder sounds like… your father hunting and firing his rifle.”
“It sounds like furniture moving upstairs,” the oldest ventured.
“You’re right,” Ginny said, and the game continued.
Afterward, she entertained and distracted them with stories her mother and father had told her as a child. At one thunderous boom, the youngest girl leaned closer to her. Ginny embraced her and soothed, “Snuggle close and I’ll protect you. When I was a little girl and scared of storms, my mother left a candle burning and sang to me.”
Ginny had the light low and the lantern secured to prevent an accident. She sang softly to the girls until both were asleep, one on each side of her. She smiled in satisfaction and closed her eyes, relaxed and weary enough to slumber herself tonight.
Steve moved away from the Avery wagon, wishing he could be cuddled in Ginny’s arms. She was right; he was too tough and inconsistent with her, but he had good reason and he wasn’t certain he could stop his ruse. She was the most invigorating breath of air he had ever taken. She had good and enticing traits. He liked being with her and talking with her. He warmed under the shine of her smile. He quivered under the sound of her voice. He flamed with desire for her.
A wife, home, and children were things he hadn’t ever considered or wanted for himself. Then, Anna Avery had appeared on the scene and made them come to mind too often, made them look and feel compelling at times. That was crazy, he told himself. He had no room for them in his life, no place for them in his embittered heart. He resented the fact she even teased such dreams over his mind. Perhaps being around so many families was also to blame for him thinking so wildly and foolishly. What did he know about romancing and loving a woman, a lady like Miss Anna Avery?
Love…Jump off that stallion before you breakyour neck trying to tame it. Don’t go near her with thoughts of capturing and mastering her.
Steve quelled his rebellious emotions and went for a ride on Chuune. He would finish the women’s training tomorrow, give them Sunday for final preparations, then pull out on Monday, April first. He hadn’t unmasked the culprit he was seeking, but he would during the journey. If it turned out to be Charles Avery, he might kill the man for endangering and involving his daughter! What would he do about her, with her, if Charles was guilty? The spirits help both of them if she was part of the crime in progress!
As he galloped along on Chuune’s back to release his tension, he knew that several people were in for big surprises in the morning.