Chapter Ten

Seeing Michael Larson, Brandy’s partner for the poetry presentation, in front of us, she hurried ahead to catch him.

“Doesn’t she hate doing high school over?” I asked.

“She wasn’t happy about the idea in the beginning,” Ian replied, “but it’s given her something to think about besides Jack. She’s having fun.”

Her lovely laugh echoed across the parking lot, making me feel sad. “Does she have to…you know? Isn’t there a way to stop it from happening?”

He glanced ahead at her. “It’s human for you to want a different outcome, but living without likeness, once you’ve had it, is worse than death in a lot of ways.”

I had trouble believing that, but the whole concept of likeness was new to me and mind-boggling on so many levels. I nodded like I understood, and changed the subject, “Are there any other dewing at Fillmore…other than us?”

“One. Nikki Cole.”

That’s when I knew why Bruce Dawning had looked so familiar last night. Nikki Cole was his daughter. Her hair was the same reddish-blond shade, and her tiny frame was just like Amelia’s.

“I take it from your expression you know her,” Ian said.

“We had a little run-in the other day.”

He chuckled. “It wasn’t pleasant, was it?”

“Nope. I don’t understand how someone so mean could be top of the pile here…unless she’s a drawer like Brandy.”

Ian’s face masked over. “She’s not a drawer. Nikki uses an age-old technique to get to the top wherever she’s at—she identifies those in power and then manipulates them into being loyal to her. I’ve seen her do it a few times before. Considering how she acts when she’s with dewing, her behavior in the human realm doesn’t come as a surprise.”

“You know her well?”

“I’ve known her for most of my life. Like you saw last night, our fathers are old friends.”

“Do you think Bruce and Amelia told her about me?”

“No, your secret is safe. The Dawnings and Luke Stentorian are the only dewing besides my parents who know what I’m up to. They all think I’m crazy, and that I’ll probably end up dead, but each one of them would love to see me succeed. After meeting you last night, the Dawnings know you’re the secret weapon I’ve been looking for. They’re just as worried about Sebastian Truss as everyone else is. They won’t risk blowing my chance to stop him by telling anyone else about you.”

“But Nikki is their daughter. Won’t that make her an exception?”

“Nikki is the last person they’d tell. They’re extremely protective of her. They don’t want her to get involved in any aspect of what I’m doing. Amelia told me point-blank not to talk to Nikki about my plans, and Bruce as much as ordered me to steer clear of her until my business with Sebastian is finished.”

As he opened the door for me, I wondered why Bruce had to warn him off so strongly.

The halls were noisy and crowded when we walked to my locker. Ian stood next to me with his shoulder against the wall while I checked my backpack, and I caught the smallest glimpse of the V in his palm. Taking his hand in mine, I turned it over. I traced the thin blue lines in his palm with my finger. They were even fainter than the lines in my own palm.

When I glanced up, he was watching me.

“In the beginning, I didn’t know what this meant,” I said. “Only that it made me different. I tried to ignore it most of the time. Now it means I’m not alone. I kind of like it.”

His fingers twined through mine so the marks in our hands laid over each other. My breath caught as a mild electric shock tingled through me. Ian’s eyes opened wider, so he must have felt it. “You’re right,” he said with a small smile. “You’re not alone.”

I pulled my hand back and felt the current between us break.

“Why are you still wearing those ridiculous glasses?” he asked. “Could you have picked an uglier pair, by the way?”

“The point was to make myself as uninteresting as possible.”

“No matter how hard you try, you could never be uninteresting,” he said.

I’m sure I had a silly grin on my face for hours after that.

Later, I met Brandy by the cafeteria for lunch.

“We’re on for shopping this afternoon,” I told her. “Lillian just texted to say it’s okay if I take the day off.”

“Great,” she replied. “I like your hair today. I should warn you that Michael and Scott are going to sit with us during lunch. Connor and a couple of nice girls from my biology class might, too, so there will be a lot of us.”

“Thanks for the heads-up,” I replied, feeling a bit nervous about plunging headfirst into the social scene at Fillmore. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get into it. I did, but I doubted I’d ever be a social diva.

Brandy led the way through the food line and then to a table already crowded with the people she’d mentioned. There wasn’t room for me to sit. Ian caught my eye and motioned at the very small space next to him. I shook my head and pointed toward the outdoor eating area, where I intended to go. He got up and followed me outside.

Squinting in the sun, I headed toward a patch of shade at the side of the building and practically dove into the grass there. I leaned my back against the bricks and closed my eyes. Hearing the soft shush of Ian’s shoes in the grass, I looked up at him. “You should have stayed inside where the temperature is bearable,” I said.

He sat next to me. “I’ll take heat over the deafening laughter of Brandy’s friends any day,” he replied with a hint of his Australian accent coming out.

“Are you sure about that? It over a hundred degrees today and you’re not native to Las Vegas.”

“It gets hot in Sydney, too.”

“You call Sydney home?”

“I do now. I spent my first three years living in LA.”

Ian leaned back. As he settled into the shade, his eyes turned from turquoise to deep aqua. It was a fascinating phenomenon. He sighed deeply.

“You okay?” I asked.

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

He carried a lot of responsibility for someone so young. From what he’d said, it had been his idea to find me. For whatever reason, his parents had supported him in his efforts, but it hadn’t been their plan.

He reached out and touched a strand of my hair. “Pretty,” he said.

“Thanks,” I replied, feeling a blush spread over my cheeks. I pushed the strand behind my ear. “Evidently, it’s not much like my biological mother’s. Who has white hair at the age of twenty-six?”

“No one I’ve ever met,” he replied. “But believe me, it’s not a bad thing if you don’t look like your parents. I’m sure you noticed I’m definitely my father’s son.”

“He’s bigger, kind of like a huge bear. You’re more athletic, like a runner, but the resemblance is uncanny.” Ian was surprised. I pushed his shoulder. “Don’t take that as a compliment,” I said. “It’s just an observation.”

“You sure?” he asked.

I ignored him.

“Well, looking like my dad comes with a set of problems.”

“Like what?”

“Brandy calls me the Golden One, but it’s a borrowed nickname. My father is the original Golden One. He became Thane clan chief when he was younger than me. A lot of dewing laid bets he wouldn’t rise to the challenge. They thought he’d crack under the pressure. But he didn’t. He’s proven himself over and over since then. He’s kind of famous in a way. Not as famous as your mother, but everybody knows him. If Sebastian Truss worries about anyone, it’s probably my dad. Which is why he would never get close enough to Sebastian to do him any harm.

“Anyway, I’m not my father and I don’t want to be. My brother was supposed to be the next clan chief. In all the important ways, Jack was more like him.”

“You seem to be doing things well so far. You found me. And you’re willing to risk your life in a face-off with Sebastian.”

“When it comes to facing Sebastian, I’m just finishing what Jack started. When it comes to finding you, I had Brandy’s help. I’m worried about the day when I’m on my own.” He came off as supremely confident, but he had his own worries. Worries that made going to school at Fillmore seem trivial. It was easy to forget he was just a teenager like me. “How old was Jack when he died?” I asked.

“Ninety-two in human years. To someone who thinks like a human, that must seem very old, but to us it isn’t. Jack and I were close in spite of the age difference.”

“I’m sorry you lost him,” I said.

Ian picked a piece of grass and pulled it into pieces. I could see he wanted to change the subject. He deserved a break. “Why don’t we get started on my training?” I suggested.

He tossed the pieces of grass in the air and then watched them float back down. “Sounds good.”

Anxious to begin, I scooted around to face him and sat cross-legged.

He laughed. “You look like a little kid on Christmas morning,” he said.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Part of me is excited about learning what I can do. And then there’s the part that’s scared about what you want me to do.”

He frowned. “You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I mean it. I’m going to do my best to keep you safe. And no one wants to put you in this position less than I do. But right now, you’re my best plan and I’m running out of options.”

“If it means I can keep my family safe, I’d do just about anything. Don’t feel guilty. I want to do this—if I can.”

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s discuss why your abilities are so underdeveloped.” His words stung a bit. “All of our joinings start out weak like yours,” he continued. “I’m betting your capabilities have developed at a normal rate. It’s just a lack of instruction that’s holding you back.”

“Okay,” I replied.

“Before we begin, you need to understand our education is more than following directions. The majority of what we learn comes from feeling how others around us work their minds. That’s why our family bonds are so tight. We need each other to learn how to navigate in both the dewing and human realms. You never had the benefit of a dewing family to learn from, so you had to make it up as you went along. It would help if I understood your process.”

“There’s not much to it,” I said. “I think something that I want to put into someone’s mind. Then I envision pushing that thought in the direction of whoever I want to take it. Sometimes it works great, sometimes it doesn’t work at all. I usually have problems when someone has strong objections or opinions on whatever is going on.”

Ian considered this. “It’s probably because you’re trying to force your thought into a space that’s already filled. What if you searched in someone’s mind first and found an open place to put the thought into? Then you could kind of slip it in, and the person wouldn’t struggle against it, right?”

“I guess so,” I agreed. “But I have no idea how to look into a human’s mind.”

“‘Search’ is the wrong word. ‘Feel’ is a better one.”

“Sorry, but that doesn’t help.”

He hesitated. “I want to try something. It’s kind of like a shortcut. It might help you learn things faster, but it’s…unconventional.”

I leaned forward, so my nose was just inches away from his. “Is anything about me conventional?” I asked. “I need to learn this stuff as quickly as possible. Feel free to use whatever you think is necessary.”

“Okay,” he said with a cryptic smile. “This wouldn’t work if you thought the way the rest of us do, but because you think like a human I’m going to access your mind like I did a few nights ago. If you concentrate, you should be able to feel me looking around. Focus on what you feel, so you can imitate my approach. Eventually, you’ll develop a method that works best for you, but in the meantime, this should give you a few hints.”

“When you access my mind, you’re going to make me confide in you, right?”

“Yes, I’ll have to breach some of your defenses in order for you to feel how the process works.”

“So I’ll end up telling you things I wouldn’t normally want to?”

He nodded. “If this works, it’s going to shorten the learning curve substantially.”

“Okay, but don’t make me confide anything too personal.”

“It’s too late for conditions,” he said, smiling. “It’s a faint feeling, but if they knew what to look for, all humans would know when we joined their minds. I believe you think human enough to experience it like they do, which should give you some unique perspective on how this all works.”

That’s when I felt the squeezing sensation in my head. It wasn’t painful, like it was the time he used it on me in the nurse’s office or in his car after the tiger took the book, but it was noticeable. “Did you feel that?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. It’s important to understand how inefficient it is to throw thoughts at people. You waste a lot of energy that way, and you won’t get the kind of results you want. You have to use control. The beginning step is to try and feel your own energy. It’s there, humans just don’t think about it much. It’s like a bubble that encases your body. Feel for the edges of it, become familiar with it.

“Then take a moment to think about who it is you’re going to join. Try to feel the energy around that person, too. Start searching for a connection to the human’s energy, and your mind will be drawn to theirs like a magnet. You’ll know the link has been established when you feel a tightening, like a rope being drawn taut between you. After a while the process becomes reflexive, and you won’t think about it in individual steps anymore.”

“Okay.”

“The next part of your lesson is where you relax and concentrate on what’s happening in your mind.”

He started out asking me simple stuff, like my favorite color and where I like to vacation. Then he moved on to more personal things, like what I’d dreamed of the night before, what annoyed me most about my parents, and who my first crush was. A part of me didn’t want to talk about some of the things he asked, but I couldn’t stop myself. As I concentrated on what was happening, I could tell he was finding the areas of resistance in my mind and then moving his questions around them.

Other than the slight pressure in my head at the beginning, this experience was much different than it had been a few nights ago. That time I’d felt antagonism in connection with Ian’s questions. This time it felt…nice.

As I went on answering questions, an energy began to grow between us. It was like an electric current that filled up my mind and then spilled out again into Ian’s. In a strange way, the space between us didn’t seem to exist anymore. He continued his questions and the mental current transformed into a physical state where every inch of my skin tingled. Ian’s face was flushed and his eyes were an even darker blue. He leaned closer to me and his eyes kept flicking to my mouth. We were both breathing faster than normal and I leaned into him, too. Instead of easing off on the mental pressure, he stepped it up and asked what I’d thought of him when we first met.

If my mind had been my own, I might have tempered my response, but under the circumstances, honesty was demanded. “You reminded me of my little brother,” I said truthfully.

The current of mental energy between us broke immediately.

“I remind you of your brother,” Ian said. “That skinny redhead with pimples I met this morning?”

“It was just my first impression,” I said, blinking. “You didn’t ask what I think of you now.”

He still didn’t look pleased.

“Not that this changes anything between us,” I said, “but did we just make out dewing-style or something?”

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Sorry it was like kissing your brother.”

It certainly had not been like kissing my brother.

Brandy must have been suspicious, because she asked me three times in Art Appreciation what Ian and I had been doing during lunch hour. Fortunately, Mr. Dawson was lecturing on Vincent van Gogh, Brandy’s favorite painter, so she let the subject drop when he began a slide show.

Ian was waiting for us in the parking lot after school. Just seeing him caused an electric current to float over my skin. He didn’t hold eye contact for long, and I was disappointed. As much as I hated to admit it, I wanted him to see me as something more than useful. Taking a deep breath, I reined my emotions back in. Whatever happened between Ian and me earlier had come about because he was trying to teach me to use my joining. It was important to remember that. The side effects would fade. At least I hoped they would.

Ian kept looking out the back window for my follower. I looked for him in the side-view mirror every few minutes, too. Neither of us was in the mood for small talk, but Brandy was good at making conversation with herself, so the ride passed smoothly. I was surprised when she stopped the car in front of the Shadow Box.

“I haven’t seen any sign of your follower today,” Ian said. “If we’re lucky he’s lost interest. I need to talk to Lillian about a few things. Call me if you need anything.”

“Will do,” Brandy said. Then she extended her hand across me toward him. “Hand it over. This shopping trip is on your mommy and daddy.”

Ian rolled his eyes, produced his wallet, and handed her a credit card.

Brandy waved out the window as we drove away.

“The Golden One reminds me of Jack sometimes,” she said. “In personality, not looks.”

Her words contradicted what Ian had said at lunch. He seemed to think they were very different personalities. Since she seemed open to the subject, I decided to push for more information. “What was Jack like?”

“You’ve heard the phrase ‘tall, dark, and handsome,’” she said with eyes glowing. “That was Jack. He was really smart and funny, too, with a smile that took my breath away every time. I was nine when I met him. It was my first Thane clan gathering. Ian is something like my second cousin once removed as well as my brother-in-law.”

“So you knew Jack growing up?”

“I had a bit of a crush on him through the years, but there was nothing between us until much later when I ran into him at Stanford. I was getting my master’s degree in art history there, and he was working at a teaching hospital. As destiny would have it, I broke my sternum in a fall from a horse. My human friends insisted I go to the emergency room to get checked out. Of course I knew it would heal on its own, but I humored them anyway. Jack was my doctor that day.”

“So you began dating and got likenessed, or whatever?”

“The dating part followed the getting-likenessed part,” she explained. “He walked in, looked up from his clipboard, and there was a complete…mental connection. That’s the only way I can explain it. Likeness is a melding of minds and once it happens it can never be undone.”

Doing a quick rewind of what happened between Ian and myself during lunch, I cried out. “Oh, no! No!”