Lee Carroll is the author of the KRYON book series, a love-filled suite of works that speak of the good news for planet Earth. Found in metaphysical stores all over the planet, the books have become a source for renewed hope as we move into the uncertainty of the next millennium. He is the co-author of THE INDIGO CHILDREN.
There was no hope, I was told. It was only a matter of time before the hand of God reached out to take the small remaining spark of life from my deteriorating body. Each day I lay in the same spot staring at the wall next to me…waiting for Patty. She arrived at about 3:00 P.M. each day to read to me, hold my hand, wipe my brow, and speak kind words of reassurance. She left at 6:00 P.M. Each night I had to pretend it was okay for her to go, and then try to figure out why I was being served dinner yet again—a seeming waste of food.
Patty knew I was dying, and yet her eyes sparkled with hope, and her words were always cheerful. Even in the midst of my most painful times, she smiled and winked that special wink that said, “Stop all this self-pity stuff, and come up to my level to meet me.” Oddly enough, I did—each time. It wasn’t hard to do when I had a vibrant human being in front of me who cared about my last days…like it mattered. I dreaded the visiting relatives—the awkward silence, the downcast eyes, and the sorrow they broadcast every time they visited. It was more than I could take. Patty was different.
She wasn’t a trained nurse or even one of those special workers who went to classes to aid the terminally ill. She was simply a regular volunteer, but one who had decided to spend each afternoon of her life with a book in her hand reading to me. She loved books, and I can remember looking at her for hours, seemingly without even blinking as she read. She would read all the stories I loved to hear with great expression. Sometimes she would cry or laugh to illustrate the story better. Every so often she would look up to see if I was still with her or if I needed anything. I never did. Her presence was enough to send the pain and fear fleeing into a special hiding spot for the moments that she sat by my side.
The mornings were the worst. Again I was served a meal, much to my disgust. Why bother? Sometimes my body would feel like it was being eaten from the inside out, with all the accompanying pain that went with that vision. Sometimes I begged to be released from what I knew was coming. I prayed to whoever would listen, crying out that I was weary of all this trouble and expense…then Patty would show up, and everything would change. We never spoke of my impending death. She treated me like I was going to spring up and run the next track meet any minute! There was never the pity that I so often saw in the eyes of almost everyone else that came in. I knew the names of her children and her husband, and even once got to meet them all. What a family! None of them seemed to mind that they were in the presence of a dying person—like they all took an angel course or something! Patty told me the secret later, and it was the only time she ever mentioned her spirituality or anything to do with God.
She told me that all humans have a path that is known to God and that somehow I was right where I had agreed to be, and with all of it there was honor for some reason. I laughed at her as I looked around at my surroundings and saw my bedpan, my half-full urine bag, and the tubes that were connected to my wrists. My eyes had grown more red with each passing day, and my complexion had turned to ash. I motioned with my tube-laden hand and said out loud, “Some honor, huh?” We had a good laugh, but she continued. She told me that she and her family believed that I had selected a special thing to do for the planet, and that my situation was somehow appropriate in the scheme of God’s love. I didn’t understand that at all, but it comforted me anyway. Hours after she left, I thought a lot about what she had said.
The inevitable happened, and I received a major answer to my most often prayed-for request. I had asked God (whom I never spoke to before I got sick) to let me go in the presence of my angel Patty—and I got my wish!
It was far easier than I had thought…this dying thing. Patty was just getting into my favorite part of The Lord of the Rings when my heart stopped. There was a moment of fear when I realized what was happening, and Patty stopped reading as though I had sent her a mental message or something. She looked at me in a way I had never seen her do up till now, and then I realized she had seen this before. A faint knowing glint in her eyes said, “Go peacefully in the arms of God.” She placed her hand on my chest, we looked at each other in silence, and blackness took over for a moment or two.
There was tremendous light! I was free! I felt a grand release from my pain and began floating above my body while watching everything in the entire room. I saw my tired, frail body lying still on the bed with Patty’s hand still on my chest. She closed her book slowly and remained still. Only then did she cry a bit, but she shed tears of joy at my freedom…and her countenance seemed filled with honor for my life. I was watching the whole thing!
As I gently floated further away, I saw her astral wings and realized that just as I had somehow honored the Earth with my passing, she was honoring the Earth with her angelic service. Her body literally glowed with the role of who she was, as if there was a rainbow all around her head. My angel really was an angel…or at least an Earth angel! As the room faded, I realized that I hadn’t told Patty that I appreciated her hours of service and work making my dying bearable. My gratitude towards her flooded over me…but perhaps too late! Did she know of my thanks for how she had comforted me? I was overwhelmed with emotion to think that the one human being who had helped me the most in my entire life had never verbally heard me tell her I was grateful. Then I saw the others around me and understood everything. I was peaceful now. She knew. Don’t ask me how, but Patty knew. She knew how grateful I was even as I moved away. I saw her raise her open hand and lift her face to me as if she could actually see me! Was she waving? The surreal scene was beginning to fade, and my new surroundings were starting to take shape. It was time to leave.
Patty sat for a moment silently next to the body, with her hand and face uplifted to the ceiling. She had been here and done this before. She felt the essence of life leave her friend on the bed, then she waited for a moment for what always came next. She was overwhelmed by a celestial wash of love. The feeling in the room was so thick that it was like a fog of warm mist that vibrated with the gratitude of multitudes for what she had done. This is why she seldom cried with sorrow at this moment, for how could anyone be sorrowful at such an honored event? Grieving for the loss would come later, but for now Patty sat in the place of honor for some time and celebrated the life of the one she had helped. No one came in, and she was alone to feel the love, thanks, and gratitude of all the heavenly entities in God’s treasury that had gathered to lay hands on her. Patty understood what was happening and remained reposed and tranquil as she received her gifts of gratitude.
Feeling renewed, Patty slowly got up and gently covered her friend’s head with the three-day-old sheet. She rose and began her walk to the hospital office where, that very night, she would receive the name of her next terminal patient—a person whom she would be with to read to until the end, when she would again receive the anointing of gratitude and the incredible wash of love energy from those heavenly beings responsible for such things. Patty understood that what she had just gone through was the closest any human being on Earth could ever be to God…and she rejoiced in the opportunity to do it all again.
