Bernie S. Siegel, M.D., is a retired general/pediatric surgeon who is now involved in humanizing medical care and medical education. He is the founder of EcaP (Exceptional Cancer Patients) and is the author of LOVE, MEDICINE & MIRACLES; and PEACE, LOVE & HEALING.
I believe that gratitude is a state of mind, rather than a condition of life related to health or wealth. Let me say that some of my greatest gratitude teachers are the people I call the prisoners of life. What do I mean by that? I mean the people who are imprisoned in bodies or institutions and yet are grateful for life. I believe that once you are grateful for life, seeing it as an opportunity to give love, your life is changed and lived as it was meant to be lived by our Creator.
Examples of this are people I know with a variety of diseases and handicaps whom I call healthy. Why are they healthy? They have learned what my associate’s father (a general practitioner) once said: “True good health is the ability to live without it.”
Sam Keen tells of a friend of his with Lou Gehrig’s disease. He is severely ill, and even breathing is a problem. Sam was visiting him, and he complimented his friend on his attitude. The friend asked, “What choice do I have?” and Sam said, “You could piss and moan a little.” His friend said, “It never occurred to me.” Yet most people, if you ask them if life is fair, will shout
NO at you. The richer they are, the louder they shout. What we have to realize is that while life is difficult, it is not unfair. We all have our problems. The key is to learn how to live with them and even how to use them.
My mother’s message to me was, “It was meant to be. God is redirecting you. Something good will come of this.” She was much like Carl Jung, whom I am told, would tell those friends who reported a tragic event, “Let us open a bottle of wine. Something good will come of this.” If they reported some wonderful event, he would say, “That’s too bad, but if we stick together, maybe we can get you through this.” You may laugh, but over 90 percent of lottery winners, three to five years after winning, are complaining that it ruined their lives.
What does the Bible or the Talmud tell us? The Bible says that the son of man comes not to be served, but to serve and to ransom his life for the good of the many. The Talmud tells us that he who rejoices in the afflictions that are brought upon the self brings salvation to the world. Other religions also teach us of the gift or lesson that may be found in an affliction or adversity. Even in Job we learn that afflictions heal, and adversity opens you to a new reality.
Over God’s desk are Her favorite sayings that will help you to lighten your burden and feel grateful for life as an opportunity to give love in your unique way. The first one says, “Don’t feel totally, personally, irrevocably, eternally responsible for everything. That’s my job.” And it’s signed “God.” The other says, “Everything you remember I forget, and everything you forget, I remember.”
So here we are living among all the difficulties and pain, and what is it that really makes us grateful and teaches us what a treasure life is? Our mortality. Yes, without our physical and emotional pain, we would not survive. They protect us and awaken us to care for our needs and the needs of those we love. Our mortality teaches us of our limited time here and heightens our awareness of what a treasure life is. As Peter Noll shared in his final journal, “Time isn’t money. Time is everything. Seeing something for the last time is almost as good as seeing it for the first time, and you spend more time with the things and people you love and less with the things and people you don’t love.”
I can only share with you that I am grateful for life and the chance to share in all the wonder of creation, at the same time feeling and knowing much pain. Most of all, I am simply grateful to awaken in the morning and be aware of the world around me. I know that there are others who would choose not to awaken the next morning, and why do we differ?
I think that underlying the difference is the love I have received from the moment of my birth, and that makes it easier for me to feel grateful. I ask all of you, please treat each other the way a loving mother would, so we can all be grateful for life. How you love I leave up to you. Just choose your way of serving out of love, and whenever you meet people, please express that love.
If we do this, then every child will be grateful for life and the opportunity to serve and make a difference in the lives of others. Despite all this, remember that gratitude is always a choice and must come out of free will. The Garden of Eden didn’t last because there were no choices. We have a choice. Let us love life, our fellow living things, and be grateful.
