Something in my strong, beautiful girl was broken.
I didn’t know what had happened. I didn’t need to know. All that mattered was that she was crying in the pouring rain. All that mattered was that she was hurting.
I didn’t say a word. I didn’t try to get her to talk.
I just stepped forward and drew her into my arms. She held stiff for a moment, her body rigid, her hands covering her face as the tears flowed. But still, I held her.
Then something released, and she threw her arms around my neck, holding me tight and fast against her. She buried her head into my shoulder. The sobs shaking her entire body.
I ran my hand up and down her back, not caring that we were soaked through in seconds. That everything was probably flooding thanks to Lubbock caprock, and getting back to the house was going to. But none of that was important. What was a little rain when Annie was crying?
Then abruptly, she pushed away and stalked across the golf course.
I followed her onto the grass. “Annie!”
“Just let me go, Jordan.”
“No!” I yelled back. “I’m not going to let you go. I’m not going to let you walk off into the grass when you’re not okay.”
She whirled on me. “That’s right. I’m not okay. So, just…let me be.”
“Why won’t you talk to me?”
“I don’t want to! I don’t want to talk to you or anyone.”
“I can see that, but it’s not healthy.”
She ground her teeth together and paced farther away from me. The rain was coming down harder, beating down on my skin and matting my hair to my face. Then just when I thought I might have to run after her again, she walked back toward me. Her eyes were fiery.
“Just talk to me! What’s the harm in that?” I called over the rain.
“Because then it’s real!” she shouted. And the fire dimmed. “Then, it’s real. Then, someone died and there’s nothing I can do and it’s just over.”
I stopped in my tracks. “Someone died?”
She flung her hands wide. “Yep. I killed him.”
“Annie…you didn’t kill anyone.”
“I might as well have. I was there when he came in with a heart attack. I stood over him as I tried to fix his broken heart, and I couldn’t do anything. What’s the point of this damn degree if I’m going to lose people anyway?”
“You’re saving people,” I insisted, stepping closer. “That’s what makes the difference. Maybe you lost this one person, Annie, but that doesn’t mean it’s all pointless. You’re making a difference in people’s lives.”
“I couldn’t save him then, and I can’t save him now,” she said, still frantic.
I drew a blank. “Couldn’t save who?”
“Maverick!” she yelled as if it were obvious.
Then it all clicked. I’d heard the story about how Sutton’s husband had died. That he’d had a rare heart condition and died on the Fourth of July a few years back. What had they said about Annie?
“You were there.” The pieces fell together. “You were running the same race as him.”
She nodded as the tears started again. “I watched him collapse. I ran the rest of the race to tell Sutton what had happened. I couldn’t do anything to save him.”
“And now, you’re a doctor. You became a doctor to save lives. So you didn’t have to stand on the sidelines anymore.” My heart broke for her. “What happened to Maverick was a terrible accident. You can’t blame yourself.”
“I know,” she said, barely loud enough. Then louder. “I know! But it doesn’t change the fact that it still feels like my goddamn fault!”
I reached for her, and she let me draw her against me again. “It’s not your fault. Not Maverick. Not the person who died today.”
“I know,” she repeated.
She cried into my shoulder and didn’t fight my hold on her as all of her grief finally released her.
When she finally stopped crying, we jogged to the country club and stepped into the lobby. We were drowned rats, but the staff hurriedly brought over towels and blankets to dry us off.
Annie took a seat next to the fireplace and stared off into it like it had the answers to the universe. I left her there, only coming to her side to pass her tea. The last thing I wanted was for her to get sick. She was dealing with enough.
Twenty minutes later, the rain finally let up, and the country club staff offered to drive us to my house in a golf cart. It was a quick drive back, and after I got Annie inside, I came outside with a hefty tip for everyone involved. The college student looked like she was going to fall over as she thanked me profusely.
I waved her off and then came back inside to find Annie staring blankly around the house.
“Come on,” I said gently.
After stripping us both out of our sodden clothes, I directed her into a steamy shower, washing her clean of the hospital and rain and the entire day. She tipped her head back into the spray and sighed. Some of the heartache seemed to loosen from her shoulders. When we stepped out, I bundled her in fluffy white towels and got her into bed.
“Jordan,” she whispered.
“Yeah?” I asked as she finally lay back against the pillow and closed her eyes.
“Thank you for taking care of me.”
“Of course.”
I bent down and kissed her forehead. She was out almost instantly, and I hoped she stayed that way for a while. She needed a solid eight or nine hours of sleep to feel even partially human after this.
I changed into jeans and a sweater and then headed down the hall to my at-home office. Though I practically lived at the office, I liked having an office in my house for emergencies. Like right now. Usually, I used it for late-night working or weekends.
When I reached the office, sinking into the black leather chair I loved, I called Morgan.
“Jordan, how can I help you?”
“I’m not coming in today.”
Morgan was silent for a minute. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Sick? Bleeding out?”
I laughed softly. “Nothing. None of that. I just have to take care of some things here. I’ll still be working from home, but I won’t be as available as normal.”
“I’m concerned. I don’t think you’ve taken a day off in three years, Jordan.”
I sighed, realizing I was going to have to give her something. This was unusual for me. And I wouldn’t put it past Morgan to come over here and find out if I was really okay. She was that kind of boss. Really, the best kind.
“It’s not me. Annie…she had a rough shift at the hospital. I don’t feel comfortable leaving her.”
Morgan softened immediately. “I’m so sorry. Is she going to be okay? Anything I can do?”
“She’ll be okay. She just needs some time.”
“Give her my best.”
“I will. Thanks, Mor.”
We hung up the phone, and I got to work.
“Hey,” a voice said hoarsely from the doorway.
I nearly jumped out of my skin. I’d been in so deep on the soccer complex project that I didn’t even hear footsteps. I glanced up at Annie, who looked a wreck but…settled. “Hey, how are you feeling?”
She shrugged. “I’ve been better. What are you doing here? It’s three in the afternoon. Shouldn’t you be at work?”
“I called out.”
She blinked. “What?”
“I told Morgan that I couldn’t come in. I hope you don’t mind that I told her you were having a rough day. She worries.”
“It’s fine,” she said softly. “But…you called out of work? You never do that.”
“No. I don’t think I’ve called out of work…ever. Yeah, maybe ever.”
Her mouth opened slightly. “Then, why did you do it today?”
“I was worried about you. I knew that you were going to be sleeping…or at least, I hoped you would sleep. But I wanted to be here in case you needed me.”
“That’s very considerate.” She fidgeted with her claddagh ring, turning it around and around. “I guess I should go. I haven’t eaten or anything, and I have work and…”
“How about this?” I said, pushing away from my desk and coming to stand before her. “How about we go to Rosa’s and get some margaritas and queso? Tacos are good recovery food.”
She looked at me to see if there was a catch to it. “I don’t know how to say no to that.”
I laughed. “Then don’t.”
“Okay. Margs and queso and tacos it is.”
I tried to keep a self-satisfied smile off of my face as she darted back into the bedroom to change. I absolutely wanted to make sure that she was okay. I was worried about her. But taking her out for Mexican was definitely a date. Whether she wanted to admit it or not.
She came back out in distressed jeans and a sweater. Her red hair pulled back into a messy bun. No makeup. She was stunning. “All right. I’m ready.”
We took my Tesla to the restaurant, which was completely dead. Most people had already eaten lunch, and it wasn’t quite time for dinner. It was more like breakfast for Annie, but she accepted the frozen margarita with extra salt on the rim and extra limes with a smile. We ate our weight in queso and chips before tacos even arrived.
“I appreciate this,” she said, just a little bit tipsy from our second margarita.
“Mexican food?”
She laughed gingerly, as if it still hurt to move her face like that. “For Mexican food and the run and the shower and taking the day off—all of it. I know that I don’t really deserve any of this from you.”
“Oh?”
She flinched. “Well, what went down at Walkers and then that picture I sent you.” She looked up at me hesitantly. “It was supposed to go to Jennifer. And it didn’t mean anything. I mean, Cord, the guy in the picture, and I…nothing happened.”
“That’s good to hear,” I admitted. “I thought you might have sent it as a reminder of the line you had drawn.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t…” She sighed heavily and took another sip of her margarita. “I’m not seeing anyone else.”
“Right, because you’re leaving in a few months.”
“Right,” she muttered. “That reason. And also…because of you.”
I arched an eyebrow. “Annie, are you saying that we’re dating?”
“No!” she said automatically.
I laughed. “We’re just exclusive and friends with benefits?”
“Well,” she said, her face turning red, “I’m not seeing anyone else.”
“Me either,” I told her and took her hand across the table. She looked down at it for a second and then twined our fingers together. “What are you doing Sunday?”
She scrunched up her face. “I don’t know. Maybe working?”
“Still overnights?”
She nodded. “For the foreseeable future.”
“Jensen is throwing a Super Bowl party because the Chiefs are playing, and everyone in this town loves Patrick Mahomes since he went to Texas Tech. Do you have any interest in going?”
“Sutton mentioned it. I was planning to go if I didn’t have to work. I think I can make it.”
“I could pick you up before the game,” I offered.
I waited for her to see it as the date it was. Like she should have seen that this was. But she didn’t back down from it or say any of the things I’d expected.
“Okay. That’d be great.”
“Sounds good,” I told her with a wide smile.
I’d won this round. And she didn’t even know we were playing.
But when we finished, I paid for the entire check, and she only protested a little. I’d call it a win.