My hand rested on the handle to the barn door.
I wasn’t the type of person to hesitate, but still, I hesitated. Last weekend had been terrible. I was a firm believer in the idea that when someone showed you who they were, you believed them. Was I going back on that after finding out who Jordan really was? Was that even who he really was?
My hand clenched the cold metal doorknob. I could walk away. I could turn around right now and walk away from all of this. And yet, I hadn’t moved.
Because I didn’t want to walk away.
I’d been a fool about Jordan Wright once before. I’d hardened my heart against him, avoided him, and done everything in my power to not think about his too-handsome face or those broad shoulders or the way he’d made me feel inexplicably complete. And it hadn’t worked. It just hadn’t worked. I’d fallen for him even harder and faster than the last time, and I didn’t want it to fucking end.
Sometimes, relationships needed work. I couldn’t run away every time it got hard. I couldn’t assume he was a bad person off of one interaction. Not after the last couple months of perfection. Didn’t he deserve a chance to prove me wrong?
So, I took a deep breath and yanked on the door, prepared to hear him out.
I gasped softly at the interior of the barn. I’d seen it all done up for the event last weekend, but it was nothing compared to what it looked like now. Jordan must have had Nora stage the place. There was no other explanation. Soft white drapery made the twinkle lights appear to be constellations across a night sky. Flowers bloomed in bouquets around the room, interspersed with every size candle imaginable. The room glowed with flickering candlelight, and at its center was Jordan Wright.
My breath caught at the sight of him in a sharp suit and tie, standing with his hands in his pockets, waiting for me.
“Hey,” I said as I came to stand before him. My eyes continued to scan the room, unsure if I should settle entirely on him. “This is elaborate.”
He smiled. Such a Jordan smile. Soft on the edges with his eyes lighting up. “I thought you might need elaborate.”
“You could have started with I’m sorry.”
He finished the last step between us. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re right. Probably not enough.”
“Probably not,” he agreed with a small laugh. “Worth a try though.”
“Suppose so.”
I fiddled with my fingers, distinctly feeling the absence of my ring. I was so used to twirling it when I was nervous.
“Do you know why I bought the winery?” he finally asked.
I blinked at the change in subject. It wasn’t what I’d expected. “Because Hollin and Julian cajoled you into it.”
“Well, that’s the reason I got involved, but not the reason I eventually said yes.”
I shrugged. “No, you never mentioned.”
He held his arms out, gesturing to the barn around him. “When I looked at this barn, I saw a dirt-filled piece of junk that we’d sink way too much money into to ever make it profitable. It was a bad investment, and I didn’t want to do it. But when we came over to look at the place, something hit me at the sight of it.” He sighed. “This was our first date. You brought me to this ridiculous bar and tried to get me to line dance. I hadn’t laughed that much in years. I was smitten. And I wasn’t ready to let those memories be demolished. I wanted to keep them. So, every time I walked inside, I saw you in cowboy boots with that effervescent smile on your face.”
I swallowed hard at his words. “What do you see now?”
“You throwing this ring at me,” he said, holding the claddagh ring up to the light. “And how much I completely fucked it up.”
“Yeah, you did.”
“There’s not an excuse for how I reacted last week. I cut you out of my life while I tried to deal with my mom’s news. Then I overreacted to everything and treated you horribly. I’m so sorry for all of that. I was worried about my mom and her dealing with cancer again that I couldn’t process anything. I thought I was making the right decision by letting you go. I couldn’t even see that I was making the decision for you and not with you.”
I swallowed. “Yeah, I thought we were a team.”
“I know. I’m sorry about that. I had a long talk with my mom about it. She was actually the one who suggested the groveling.”
I chuckled. “She’s a smart woman.”
“She is. She really is. For so long, I’ve thought that I was a mirror image of my father. That I hurt the people closest to me, and I had no control over the fury that burned through me. But my mom made me realize that I’m not just like my dad. That I get to choose who I am. And I choose to never be that person ever again.”
“Sounds like a good start.”
“And I want you to know that Seattle…” He shook his head, taking a step forward and reaching for my hand. I thought I’d pull away, but God, his hand felt so right in mine. “Seattle was never a pipe dream. I shouldn’t have said that. It was what I really wanted.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
“I know this won’t make up for how I reacted last weekend, but I might have a solution.”
I tilted my head. “A solution to what?”
“Seattle.”
“Oh. There’s no solution to that, Jordan. Once ranks are in, that’s that.”
“I know that that is normally how it works,” he assured me. “But I decided to see if there was a way around it. So, I spent the last week on the phone with Cush figuring out who to speak to about the position. You earned it on your own merit, I just pulled the strings to make it happen.”
My body froze in place. My brain couldn’t catch up to the words that he was saying. I blinked and blinked again. This couldn’t be real. It just…it wasn’t possible.
“What are you saying?”
“Seattle is going to offer you a place in their residency program,” he told me. “And I want to go with you, Annie.”
My hands were shaking. “How…how is that possible? I just…I can’t believe it, Jordan.”
“You only chose Lubbock because of me. I’ll be damned if you stay here and regret it.” He took my hands in his. “I want you to have everything, Annie. Everything and more.”
“But…what about your mom?” I gasped.
“I spoke to her and Julian. We discussed me leaving and they both agreed that this was different than last time. I was going to stay in Vancouver for no real reason except complacency. If I wanted to be with you, then leaving made sense.”
“But your job…”
“I’d already discussed it with Morgan.”
My eyes widened. “You had?”
He nodded. “Long before I knew about this. She said I could work in a Seattle office and commute on and off to Vancouver. I would do anything to make it work.”
Tears formed in my eyes. Damn it! I’d sworn that I wouldn’t cry. But somehow, that stupid comment had hit me so hard in the feels. Because I had wanted Seattle and I wanted to make it work so bad, too. I’d wanted what he’d had there that weekend so bad.
And now…here he was, offering to me on a silver platter.
Everything I’d ever wanted.
The residency. A cross-country move. The man of my dreams.
Except…was it what I wanted? Was it really?
“No,” I said softly.
Jordan’s brow furrowed. “No? You don’t want me to go?”
I laughed softly. “No. I think you were right last weekend.”
He looked cautious. “About what?”
“As much as I hadn’t wanted to hear it, Seattle was a pipe dream.”
“It can be real.”
I shook my head. This felt right. This felt more right than anything else. I’d wanted Seattle for no real reason except that I’d convinced myself that I wanted to get the hell out of Lubbock. But did I really want to go? When I stopped to think about it, it didn’t even feel real. My best friends were here. My parents and Isaac and Aly were here. Isaac and Peyton’s wedding was happening soon. And Jordan…Jordan was here with his family, too. If I wanted something with him, would he hate that I’d taken him away? As much as he thought I’d hate him for taking away Seattle? How could I leave when I had everything right here?
“I could,” I said carefully. “I can’t even believe that you managed to circumvent the ranking system. Is there anything a Wright can’t do?” He laughed, a real smile hitting his features. “But we’d just decided on Seattle because I’d always said I wanted to leave. At the end of the day, if I’d wanted to leave, wouldn’t I have done it a lot sooner? I love Lubbock. Everyone I love is here. So, when the choice came, it was so easy to change my order, Jordan. Too easy. I did it as soon as we found out about your mom. It was almost like I never really wanted to go in the first place.”
“Fuck,” he breathed. “That same night?”
“Yes. I’d been planning to surprise you the night of the party. To tell you that we didn’t have to move to Seattle. We could stay here with your mom and be happy. But then…”
“Then I went and fucked it up.”
“Yes, you did.” I laughed as he pulled me into a hug. “You fucked everything up.”
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything I said and did that day.” He tilted my face up to look at him. “I thought I was making it better by fixing the Seattle situation.”
“You were,” I said. “I’m not sure I would have known you were serious before then. That you really wanted this.”
“Of course, I want this to work. I’d do anything for you, Annie. I’m in love with you.”
“You’re…in love with me?” I whispered.
He nodded, drawing me a little closer and brushing a strand of my red hair off of my face. “Unequivocally.”
And I saw it for the truth. Jordan Wright loved me. He’d gone above and beyond to fix my future…our future. I said that I’d hear him out, listen to what he had to say. This didn’t sound like a man still in a temper. This sounded like the man who took care of me and adored all of my eccentricities and loved me…unequivocally.
And my own feelings were so clear in that moment.
So real and so raw.
Jordan Wright was the only person who had made me feel complete. If I didn’t hide from myself, I knew that he was the only person I wanted. The only person that I could imagine spending my life with. I’d run from him long enough. No more excuses.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he said carefully. “But this week has been torture without you.”
I laughed softly. “You could have come in person instead of sending gifts.”
“What would have been the fun in that?” he asked. “I think I won your friends over before you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Was that planned?”
“It wasn’t. Just a bonus. My only concern was you.” He cupped my jaw. “I love you, Annie. I love you and I missed you and I want to be with you. What do you want?”
I smacked his arm as I tried to keep from crying. “I want to be with you, Jordan. Of course, I do. I just…I don’t want what happened Saturday to be my life.”
“Never,” he insisted. “I can’t promise that I won’t get mad again, but I would never risk losing you. I’m not going to shut you out. You get all of me.”
“I like that,” I admitted.
“Can you forgive me?”
“If you keep sending cupcakes,” I joked.
He laughed, bringing his lips down, almost hesitantly onto mine. “All the cupcakes you want.”
“I’m holding you to that, Wright.”
“Everything I am is yours.” The kiss deepened as he drew my mouth open, brushing his tongue against mine.
“I love you,” I whispered against his mouth.
“I love you, too.” He kissed me again, harder, full of promise.
And when he pulled back, he removed my ring from his coat pocket and held it out to me.
“Can I get back to guarding your heart?”
The tears came for real this time, and I nodded emphatically as he slid the ring into place on my hand. Where I never intended to remove it again.