Rainey
I’d never stepped foot in a police station before. The lights were oppressive as they blared down on me, unforgiving and relentless. My heart felt like it was in my stomach. Each step I took on the tiled floor was loud, setting my nerves even more on edge. I didn’t know what I was walking into or what condition I’d find Parker in, and that terrified me.
“Excuse me?” One of the officers looked up at me, his name badge reading Banks. “I’m here about my husband, Parker Matthews.” I choked on the word husband. We were anything but husband and wife, but I had to keep up the pretense to get the information I needed.
“Ah yes. Mr. Matthews. He’s been rather combative tonight. Drunk off his ass,” Officer Banks muttered as he typed on the computer.
“He’s been booked for assault and battery and resisting arrest. Bail is set at $2,500.” My eyes widened.
“Assault and battery?” I questioned.
“Yep. Your dashing husband decided to get piss drunk and punch some guy’s lights out.”
I gasped. That wasn’t like the Parker I knew at all.
I brought my hand to my cheek, remembering the feeling of his elbow connecting with it. I thought of how he tried to punch Levi. Maybe this was the new Parker. He had become a different man than I married.
Oh, Parker, what have you done? What have you become?
“Can I see him?”
Officer Banks sighed and pushed back his chair. “Follow me,” he said begrudgingly. His keys jingled as we walked, and I focused on their sound instead of my own thoughts, which were going to some not-so-great places.
“He’s right in that cell there.” He pointed to a row of cells, all of them empty except one. “You got five minutes. Meet me back up front, okay?” I nodded as I stared at the man I’d once loved.
He had lost some weight, his muscles still there but less pronounced and toned. Hair peppered his chin, and he looked rough. So rough it was alarming. I slid behind the wall, not wanting him to see me.
Parker gripped the bars and yanked, the clanking sound piercing my ears.
“HELLO! MOTHERFUCKER, WHEN ARE YOU LETTING ME OUT OF HERE!” he yelled, pulling as hard as he could on the bars. “CALL RAINEY, SHE’LL COME FOR ME. SHE’LL ALWAYS COME FOR ME.” With a sigh, he braced his forehead against the bars before collapsing to the ground.
A sob escaped my lips, and I scurried away, my mind whirling.
“Back so soon?” Officer Banks raised his eyebrow.
Pulling out my checkbook, I wrote a check for $2,500.
“I can’t release him until this clears tomorrow morning,” he said, holding the check up.
“It’s okay. I won’t be here when he’s released.” I slung my purse back over my shoulder.
“Do you want me to tell him anything?” Officer Banks leaned back in his chair, and it creaked.
“No.” I shook my head. “He knows.” With my head held high, I walked out of the police station, proud of myself and my resolve.
I didn’t want Parker to suffer. I knew Emily was in rehab and could be of no help to him right now. But after bailing him out, there would be no more between Parker and me. Giving him anything else would steal the bits of happiness I had gotten back. I wouldn’t let him take that from me, not anymore.
Listening to him scream and carry on and say he knew I’d come for him had made it clear to me. I had been nothing more than a doormat our entire marriage. I was walked on and stepped on countless times, but I was loyal and stayed, getting more damaged in the process. I’d thought I could save him, but Parker was a man who never wanted to be saved. At least not by me.
Now was my time. My happiness. I wished Parker all the best, but he’d have to heal and move on alone and without me to walk all over. He’d have to find another doormat, or learn to love without hate in his heart.
***
My car clock had just turned to midnight as I parked outside Levi’s house. I felt like an ass for leaving him the way I did. Levi had his own struggles and insecurities, and I was sure me rushing off to help Parker didn’t help any. He had given me so much reassurance, hope, and love these past months, and I’d taken it selfishly, relishing in the feeling of being loved and wanted for the first time in a long time.
Now was my time to reassure him. To love him and tell him what he meant to me.
The skies opened, rain pelting my car.
“Serves me right,” I muttered as I opened my door and ran to the front of his house. I banged on his door, getting more and more drenched by the second. It didn’t matter though; I’d stand in this rain all night if I had to.
I heard a few curse words before the locks were unlatched and the door flung open. Levi’s eyes widened as he took in my shivering form. My teeth chattered.
“Jesus, Rainey, you’re getting all wet.” Wrapping his arms around me, he led me inside and into the living room and sat me on the couch, then ran and got me a towel before sitting down next to me.
He rubbed my arms with his hands. This was what he did. He took care of me. Made me feel like I was the only girl in the world. I loved it. But I’d hurt him. I’d seen it in his eyes when I left him standing in his driveway to go after Parker. I stilled his hands.
“Stop,” I said, dropping the towel to the ground.
“Okay.” He scooted away on the couch.
Maybe I should have thought this through more. I had no clue what to say to him. Closing my eyes, I took a soothing breath.
“How’s Parker?” Levi said through clenched teeth.
“I wouldn’t know. I paid his bail and left without talking to him.”
Levi’s eyes widened, and he raised his eyebrow. “You did?” he questioned, his voice sounding much higher than normal.
“Levi.” I scooted toward him and took his hands in mine. “I went there not knowing what the hell I was going to do. I didn’t go because I love him or with any intention of getting back with him. It was the thought that he had no one, not even Emily, to help him that propelled me to go. But when I got there and heard what he did and saw how far he had fallen, I knew if I talked to him I’d be sucked back in.” Levi sighed and settled into the couch.
“My entire life has revolved around him, letting him treat me however he wanted because I was too blind to see what he was doing wasn’t out of love. It was out of hatred. While I think part of Parker loves me and always will, he hates the world because of his past, and fought every day to forget it. I’m a reminder of that time. Of when we were young and had so much hope. In order for him to heal and to grow, he needs to face his demons on his own. Not with me doing everything for him. That’s what I did wrong all those years. I enabled him. I became a crutch.”
Levi leaned forward and brushed my wet hair out of my face.
“I love you, Levi. I love the happiness I feel when I’m with you. The crazy things we do that make me feel like a kid again. I love your family and all they bring. I want to be with you, and I’m sorry for making you feel tonight that you were anything less than my first choice. Because you’re not.”
Levi’s breath hitched in his throat as he looked at me. The silence was too much. Too poignant in this moment, when all I wanted to know was did he feel it too.
“I love you too, Raindrop.” He smiled, his eyes glistening.
“Are you crying?” I asked as I whisked a tear away.
“You just made me the happiest man alive. I don’t think my life could get any better.”
Curling myself into his lap, I played with the hair that dipped into his eyes. “I take that as a challenge.” I smirked against his mouth.
“Stop teasing me and kiss me,” he whispered against my lips.
“Gladly,” I said before crashing my lips down on his. The rain pelted against the house, my wet body soaking Levi’s. But we didn’t care. At this moment, we finally fully opened up to each other, and there was no greater feeling than loving someone and being loved back. Fully. Wholly. Completely.