75
Terminating aFriend

STRATEGY

No matter how often we're advised to keep our personal and business lives separate, they invariably become intertwined the longer we hold a particular position. That's only natural since we spend most of our waking hours in the workplace. But there are times when the connections lead to problems. It's likely every manager will one day be required to fire a close friend. It's your duty as a friend to do everything you possibly can, short of risking your own employment, to forestall this termination. Unfortunately, even these extensive efforts may not be enough. Faced with no chance of saving your friend's job your goals must be to minimize their discomfort and to maintain the friendship. Approach this as a two‐stage conversation, mirroring the two types of relationships you have with this individual. You will have a traditional, formal manager/employee termination meeting at the appointed time. However, you should precede that dialogue with an informal friend‐to‐friend discussion. After explaining the situation realistically, you need to demonstrate, through words and deeds, that you will continue to help your friend as much as possible. You can do that by encouraging your friend to become involved in the process rather than sitting back and meekly accepting what is offered. You might even subtly suggest areas of the severance package that might be open to further negotiation.

TACTICS

  • Attitude: You need to do whatever you'd expect a friend to do to protect you if the situation were reversed.
    Flow diagram depicting a course of action for 75. Terminating a Friend with an opening statement, situations, and responses.
  • Preparation: If you can provide information about the severance package to be offered, do so.
  • Timing: Hold it as soon as you realize the termination is inevitable.
  • Behavior: This informal meeting should take place outside the workplace. Having it over coffee, drinks or a meal at a place where you'll be able to have a confidential talk is best.

ADAPTATIONS

This script can be modified to:

  • End a relationship with a long‐time professional or service provider.

KEY POINTS

  • Faced with no chance of saving your friend's job your goals must be to minimize their discomfort and to maintain the friendship.
  • Precede your formal termination meeting with an informal friend‐to‐friend discussion.
  • Demonstrate, through words and deeds, that you will continue to help your friend as much as possible.
  • Encourage your friend to become involved in the process rather than sitting back and meekly accepting what is offered.