82
Putting an End to Harassment by a Coworker

STRATEGY

Despite the trepidation and fear involved, if you're being harassed you must deal with it immediately. If you don't put an end to the harassment, it will only escalate. The key to stopping harassment is to present a powerful, unequivocal objection, whatever the type of harassment and regardless of the harasser's motivations. An off‐color joke should be treated with the same urgency as inappropriate touching. Otherwise, your complaint won't be taken seriously. In many of these cases, power is the issue. That's why you need to seize the power in this confrontation. You can do that by launching a direct assault.

TACTICS

  • Attitude: All types of harassment are equal and require the same response—a powerful direct assault.
  • Preparation: If you anticipate trouble, speak with a higher‐up or the human resources department prior to the meeting.
  • Timing: Deal with it as soon as possible. Delay will only empower the harasser and make you feel powerless.
  • Behavior: Go to their office or workspace, position yourself between them and the door so they cannot leave, remain standing, maintain eye contact throughout, and walk out as soon as you're done, ensuring that you have the final word.
Flow diagram depicting a course of action for 82. Putting an End to Harassment by a Coworker with an opening statement, situations, and responses.

ADAPTATIONS

This script can be modified to:

  • Counter any type of on‐the‐job extortion.
  • Counter an announced threat to your position by a coworker.

KEY POINTS

  • Be as forceful as possible in your opening statement.
  • Stress that there will be repercussions to continued harassment.
  • If they say you're overreacting, state that this is a place of business, not a social club.
  • If they say it's your word against theirs, explain that you've already gone to higher‐ups.
  • If they apologize, say there's no excuse for their actions, but you'll hold off taking further action for now.
  • If they say that you're too sensitive or that there's nothing you can do, say your lawyer disagrees.