89
Asking a Coworker to Treat Your Staff with More Respect

STRATEGY

Every office has a manager who thinks they can tease or boss around everyone of a lower rank in the company, regardless of whom they actually report to. Sometimes the staff is able to handle the situation on their own. But there are times when an abrasive manager confronts a sensitive staffer and trouble ensues. In order to maintain the chain of command, as well as the respect of your direct reports, you need to address these problems. Whether you learn of the situation thirdhand or are approached by your direct report, keep the junior person out of the discussion. This is a meeting of equals. Start by rationalizing the problem by characterizing it as an attempt at humor and the employee as being sensitive. But if that doesn't work, assert your sovereignty.

TACTICS

  • Attitude: This may not seem important to the other manager, but it actually is a challenge to your authority that threatens your relationship with your staff. That makes it an important issue.
  • Preparation: Make sure this is an ongoing problem and not a one‐time event that can be brushed off for the time being.
  • Timing: Do this as soon as possible after a confrontation occurs.
  • Behavior: Stop by the other person's office to have the conversation. Sit down without waiting to be asked to subtly demonstrate your equality to the other party. Deliver the initial request leaning back in a relaxed manner. Deliver the follow up leaning forward.
Flow diagram depicting a course of action for 89. Asking a Coworker to Treat Your Staff with More Respect with an opening statement, situations, and responses.

ADAPTATIONS

This script can be modified to:

  • Ask a friend or family member to stop teasing your child.

KEY POINTS

  • Rationalize the disrespect by characterizing it as humor.
  • Demonstrate awareness of the staffer's sensitivity.
  • Explain that you're making this approach unprompted.
  • If a simple request isn't enough, assert your sovereignty.