91
Refusing to Lie for a Coworker

STRATEGY

When a coworker asks you to lie, chances are it's to avoid getting in hot water with the boss for something they did—or didn't do. Since you don't want to get a reputation as a liar or appear to be a partner in crime—both of which could jeopardize your job— the goal of this script is to make clear to your peer that you won't lie, without coming off as condescending or holier‐than‐thou. Basically, you're walking a tight rope between maintaining good relations with your coworker and your supervisor. If this is the first time the coworker has asked for your “help” you can lean a little to her side of the tightrope. If this is clearly a habitual problem lean toward your supervisor's side. But if this incident falls somewhere between unique and habitual you'll have to try to strike a balance.

TACTICS

  • Attitude: Whether it's the first time or the fiftieth they've asked you to cover for them, stand firm. Don't lose your temper or belittle them for screwing up. If it's the first time they have come to you, tell them you'll maximize the reasons for their behavior when relating the story to your supervisor and leave it at that. If they appear to be falling into a pattern of bad behavior and subsequently asking you to lie, calmly point out they'd better try to change their behavior. If they're clearly a habitual offender, despite your prior warnings to them, feel free to bluntly convey your annoyance, saying in no uncertain terms that lying is out of the question.
  • Preparation: There's no way to prepare for this situation, other than realizing that if you're there when they lose it, chances are they're going to ask your help in covering their butt.
    Flow diagram depicting a course of action for 91. Refusing to Lie for a Coworker with an opening statement, situations, and responses.
    Flow diagram depicting a course of action for 91. Refusing to Lie for a Coworker with situations and responses.
  • Timing: You can't control the timing of his approach, but you can control the timing of your response. If they ask you to lie for them in front of customers, tell them you'll discuss it later. If they ask you in front of other coworkers, deal with it immediately. That will send a clear message to all present that you don't consider lying for peers to be part of your job description.
  • Behavior: Even if your track record is spotless, avoid pointing this out, as you'll sound pompous and condescending. Instead, be firm but friendly, even if they become increasingly distressed by your unwillingness to “help.”

ADAPTATIONS

This script can be modified to:

  • Respond to a request to lie in any situation which may jeopardize a personal or business relationship.

KEY POINTS

  • Be firm but friendly in your refusal to lie.
  • Don't lose your temper or humiliate the other person.
  • Avoid blowing your own horn.
  • If it's the first time they've asked, offer gentle corrections.
  • If it has happened before, warn them this behavior could get them into trouble and advise them to change.
  • If the behavior is habitual, tell them you refuse to compromise your credibility and risk your job for them.
  • Respond to a request immediately if coworkers are present.
  • Postpone the conversation if you're approached in front of clients or customers.