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PAIGE
“Auntie Paige,” Willow’s little voice called from across the table. “Don’t you like my Daddy’s food? You’re not eating, and Mommy says in order to grow up to be a big strong hockey player, you need to eat your protein. And you do work for Daddy’s team.” She eyeballed Paige before she added, “So you need to eat your protein.”
Oh, the sweet little girl. Willow’s cute and caring words normally had Paige cooing with delight over Tyler’s adorable little niece. But today, instead, it was like a dagger to Paige’s heart. And she hated feeling like this.
Maybe she was overtired after spending the other night at the hospital with Rylee and Nick.
Paige looked down at her plate. Willow was right; she had been pushing around her food, rather than eating it. And her growling belly was making it no secret that she was hungry. Trying to hide her cranky side, she said in a cheerful and kid-approved voice, “Well, Willow, your Mommy is right! She is a very smart woman, and I should probably listen and eat my food. Thanks for the reminder.”
Willow beamed with pride at Paige’s words. The little girl was wise beyond her years, and Sam and Trina would eventually have their hands full with her.
But as Paige ate, she still couldn’t shake the miserable mood. Usually, she looked forward to spending time with Trina and the kids. The jealousy she felt deep in her heart had her annoyed at herself for that response.
It’d been a rough few days throwing herself back into work after meeting baby Lila. Her hormones were all over the place, and not giving herself ample time to sort out her emotions left her cranky.
If anyone knew what she was dealing with, could they really blame her for feeling this way? Rylee had just given birth to an adorable little baby, and Trina and Sam had these adorable little kids. Paige had a wonderful life and a loving husband. But she wanted more. And for whatever reason, the universe didn’t want to accommodate.
She was starting to feel as though she were being punished. And now she wondered if Tyler was feeling the same.
Under the table, Tyler slid his hand onto her thigh. “You okay?” His warm breath brushed against her neck as he whispered in her ear.
Paige nodded and immediately took a bite of food. After she finished chewing, she smiled at her husband. “Just have lots going on in my brain. You know, work stuff.”
He nodded as if he knew she also wanted to add “baby stuff” to that list. Covering for her, he responded, “Well if it’s one of those rookies stressing you out, just give me their names and I’ll kick their asses.”
From across the table Trina commented, “Yeah, ’cause Tyler is an expert at kicking people’s asses. I mean, he does it often enough.”
That made Paige chuckle and lifted her spirits a little. Her husband wasn’t a bully, but he did threaten to beat up anyone who hurt either of his sisters, and would fight for her honor. She glanced over into Tyler’s eyes. They sparkled as he laughed at Trina’s sarcastic comments. This man was her total Prince Charming.
The warmth of his hand on her thigh seemed to calm all of her insecurities, at least for the moment. Funny how when they met, they had seemed so opposite, and yet they were so perfect for one another.
During the rest of dinner, Willow was her usual off-the-wall-yet-adorable self. But Paige had Tyler by her side, and after a few deep breaths, that was all she needed.
After dinner, Willow followed their dogs, Toby and Belle, into the living room. Toby was an adorable yellow lab and Belle was a beautiful Siberian husky. Willow seemed oblivious to everything, while she had a tea party with her two dogs.
Trina stood up and began clearing the table.
“Babe, you relax and visit. I got the dishes,” Sam said. “Here, Auntie Paige, why don’t you hold Hank?” Sam asked, as he handed baby Hank to Paige.
Hank was properly named, and they called him “Hank the Tank”. The baby was already built like a linebacker instead of a hockey player.
“Sure.” She really didn’t have a choice, seeing that the baby was already in mid-air being handed to her.
Paige took the little butterball in her arms and sat him on her knee. Hank squealed with joy and giggled as she bounced him up and down.
“Hey,” Sam called as he carried dishes out to the kitchen. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Hank just ate. I mean, unless you want to wear dinner. And trust me on this, that is no fun!”
“Ew.” Paige cringed. Turning her attention back to little Hank, she cooed at the sweet little boy. “We don’t want you puking all over Auntie Paige, do we? No we don’t. No no no...”
The little boy cooed and laughed, while she made silly faces at him, careful not to bounce him anymore. Then, looking into his sweet chubby little face, she knew in her brain that she should feel nothing but joy. She loved Tyler’s nephew with all her heart. But it was becoming more difficult celebrating other people’s families.
“Auntie Paige, why don’t you have a baby?” Willow asked.
Her question was innocent enough for a young girl, and yet with that single question, Paige’s heart plummeted into her stomach. Talk about salt in the wound.
“Oh, baby,” Trina said apologetically, and shuffled Willow towards the television. “Not everyone has a baby. Aunt Tally doesn’t have one, either. You know that.”
Willow continued, even though Trina was frantically turning on the television and trying to find a specific show, and Paige assumed it was to distract the little girl from asking any more questions.
But the damage had been done.
“Sam!” Trina called with urgency, probably seeing the pained look on Paige’s face.
Sam hurried out of the living room. “Tri?”
“Can you please find Willow’s dance show? I... I need to get Hank changed into his pajamas.” Trina left Willow in Sam’s capable hands and hurried over to Paige.
“C’mere, baby boy.” She cooed to Hank, but her eyes never left Paige.
Paige plastered on a fake smile and handed baby Hank to Trina. “Sounds like it’s bedtime, little guy.”
“Well, almost,” Trina said. “Hank is in this phase where when he’s tired, he plays and plays until he literally falls over, sound asleep.”
“Oh really? That’s cute,” Paige managed to croak out before downing the rest of her wine.
“So, excuse me.”
“Paige, you could go help Tri? Keep the little guy occupied so he doesn’t squirm all over the place,” Tyler said. Maybe he was thinking it would get her away from any more of Willow’s questions. “The last time I was here, I had to change his diaper, and damn, my claim to fame is being good with my hands, and yet that kid gave me a run for my money!”
“Uncle Ty... language,” Willow scolded, without taking her eyes off the television.
“Sorry kiddo,” Tyler apologized.
“Tyler, it’s really not necessary. I got this.” Trina laughed nervously. “I do it all the time. Plus, I’ve been blessed with those ‘Kidd hands’ too.”
Paige’s sweet and loving husband was only trying to help. Somehow, he thought helping with the baby was a good idea. She put on her fake smile and went through the motions like she did so often now.
“No. It’s fine,” Paige said, her voice low. She was sure no one noticed, but she swore she sounded like she was entering punishment instead of helping with a baby. But to Paige, sometimes they went hand in hand.
“Paige—” Trina begged.
But Paige knew her husband, and he was simply trying to be a good uncle and good brother. And there was one way to not turn this into an uncomfortable situation. Well, for everyone but her.
“Let’s go, Hank the Tank.” Paige grabbed little Hank, set him on her hip and headed up the stairs. None of the people in the room would ever know the heartache that she felt while holding this little guy.
She followed a confused looking Trina up to the nursery. Once in Hank’s room, Trina changed his diaper and then began to change Hank out of his clothes into his sleepers. Paige sat down in a cozy rocker glider that was in the corner of the nursery.
“Paige, I don’t mean to pry. But is something going on?”
“Um, what do you mean?” Paige asked, knowing damn well what her sister-in-law was talking about.
“You haven’t been yourself tonight. I mean, it looks like you’re trying, but I can tell a fake smile a mile away. Don’t forget, I put on my own fake smile that whole time that Sam was dealing with the concussion. I couldn’t get away from people fast enough. Most people won’t notice it, but that grin is not fooling me.”
Paige just stared at Trina, not sure what to say. This isn’t something you just blurt out.
“Look...” Trina zipped up Hank’s footie sleepers and propped him up on her hip, as she threw away his dirty diaper and put his dirty clothes in the hamper. Then instead of going back downstairs, she sat down on the floor in front of Paige. Handing Hank a teething ring, she told Paige, “You can tell me anything.”
“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
As soon as Paige admitted something was wrong without actually saying anything, Trina’s face grew serious. “We can call it girl talk, and my lips will be sealed. I won’t tell Sam or Tyler, I swear.”
For a moment, Paige considered telling Trina. It might feel good to have another ally besides Melanie. Just as she took a breath and opened her mouth to confess her desire for a family, Willow came running into the room like the little hurricane that she was.
“Mommy! Auntie Paige! We’re having ice cream for dessert!” Willow ran around the room in a circle twice and out just as quickly back down to the living room.
“Sorry babe. I tried to stop her,” Sam called up the steps.
Trina rolled her eyes with a laugh before she offered, “We can still talk if you want.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m fine.” Paige couldn’t do this with the chance that Willow could come running in any minute. She didn’t need it repeated. And as much as she loved Willow, the little girl was a human parrot. Anything that was said around her got repeated for days.
Paige stood up and initiated them going back to the living room. She wasn’t ready to talk about this yet. Willow just happened to be her perfect out.
For the rest of the evening, Paige kept her distance from Hank until he went to bed. And Willow was too busy cuddling with her Uncle Tyler to bother with her. So, a few large glasses of wine later, she was relaxed and mellowed.
They pulled on their coats and walked to the door. Sam and Tyler shook hands.
“Paige,” Trina said, as she hugged her. “Let’s meet for lunch one day next week. Just you and me.”
“What about me?” Tyler asked, jokingly. “I eat lunch, too.”
“I think you can fend for yourself for one day, bro. Girls only.” Trina punched him in the arm.
“I suppose.” Tyler said, as he feigned pain and rubbed his arm.
Sam shrugged. “You could always come over here for leftover lasagna. It’s better than most restaurant food, if I do say so myself.”
“Sounds like a plan to me. Lasagna and time with my niece and nephew,” Tyler said.
“And me, of course,” Sam added.
“Right. Whatever you say, surfer-boy,” Tyler teased.
Trina rolled her eyes and interrupted the nonsense that was going on between the two men. “Anyway, you and me? Lunch?”
“Sounds good, girl. Text me.” Maybe Trina was right, and maybe Paige did need some girl time. And they wouldn’t get interrupted by Willow this time.
THE RIDE HOME WAS A quiet one. The wine had her mellowed out, and for once, it was nice to not have her mind spinning.
Once they settled at home, Tyler wrapped his arms around her waist and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Well that was a nice dinner.”
She shrugged with a smile. Tyler pulled away to get wine, and a shiver ran through her at his absence.
He set an unopened bottle of wine on the kitchen counter, along with two glasses.
“Your sister wanted to know why I was so quiet,” Paige said.
“Did you tell her?” Tyler turned his attention to her.
“I considered it. But, no. It’s not her fault that she has two beautiful children. And they are adorable.”
“Well,” he said, and as he pulled her close, his cold nose touched her neck and made her giggle. “You can if it will make you feel better. She won’t tell anyone. And she’s a great listener.”
Paige nodded. She was sure Tyler had already talked to his sister about things, but she didn’t know all of what he had disclosed.
“Would you feel better if we didn’t talk about this anymore tonight?”
Again, she nodded.
“We don’t have to talk at all, if you don’t want,” he said in a low, bedroom voice.
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.” Her husband was always the best medicine for anything that ailed her.
And after the cranky mood she had been in all day, a nice evening with her husband was the best medicine. His warm touch made all her sadness and concerns disappear. All she wanted to focus on was being wrapped up in his arms.
Tyler pushed her hair to the side and began softly kissing her neck.
She closed her eyes, getting lost in him. His cologne, a mixture of Cedar and Bergamot, swirled around her, driving her as crazy as his touch.
Tyler never lied when he claimed to be good with his hands. Those same hands ran along her body, causing her heart rate to speed up and her breathing to quicken. Nothing else mattered in this moment except him.
He pulled off her shirt and dropped it to the tile floor. Hiking her up onto his hips, his intense kiss heightened her senses so that every taste and every touch had her body humming.
“You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and I want you so bad right now.”
“Here?” she asked, amused, and already knowing the answer.
Tyler nodded to the living room couch with a sexy smirk. He let out a groan and rolled his eyes dramatically. “Okay, fine. The bedroom will be much more efficient anyway. Even though I don’t plan on getting much sleep tonight.”
Paige squealed in delight as Tyler carried her up the steps to their bedroom.
