Paul Vasileff

Pictured: Paul Vasileff and Franca Vasileff

Paul Vasileff launched his first fashion collection at the age of seventeen. Today, under his label Paolo Sebastian, this Adelaide-based designer enjoys a career that sees his whimsical creations grace the catwalks of the world, as well as the figures of a growing number of high-profile actresses and celebrities at glittering awards ceremonies around the world. For Paul, the emotional support of his mum has been pivotal. But it’s more than that – she’s still a regular presence in his design studio, hand-sewing the intricate details that help his gowns sparkle.

Mum’s not just what you see on the surface. Mainly, she’s this innocent, kind-hearted person but she’s so funny in her own way. My friends think she’s hilarious, but I’m more like: ‘I can’t believe you just said that.’ I think that’s pretty normal. No matter how much you love her, you always have those ‘Oh my God, Mum – no!’ moments. I do know that I am so lucky to have her in my life. I couldn’t imagine it any other way and, even with her cheesy sense of humour, there’s nothing I would want to change about her. She’s her own person and I really love that. She’s always encouraged me to find who I am. I think the greatest thing she’s taught me is to be happy.

I grew up in Adelaide with two younger brothers and my two parents. Dad’s Bulgarian and Mum’s Italian. She was a classic Super Mum – always running around, doing a million things like cooking, cleaning, driving us around everywhere, taking care of the house and us. She always worked – she still works part-time and she helps me with my business too. My mother does a lot.

Right now, she’s in the middle of two weeks off from her own job to work with me on my new collection. She’s hand-sewing for me and she’s quite a perfectionist. Her workmanship is amazing and I think it’s something she got from her own mother. She’s very precise, very dedicated, and everything she does, she does so well. That’s one thing she definitely passed down to all her children – we all apply ourselves 100 per cent in everything we do. I believe it’s why I’ve gone on to do what I am doing, why my brother succeeded with his degree and career and why my littlest brother is also doing extremely well in his education.

Mum always made a huge effort for our family. Dad worked night shifts and I remember waiting up, with her, for him to come home. We’d wait by the window. She was always the one who dropped me off at school and fortunately, in my neighbourhood, I always had a lot of school friends whose parents would drive us if we needed them to, because Mum was always busy running around somewhere.

She’s a microbiologist. She is heavily involved in science but she’s absolutely passionate about anything to do with nature. Mum was working full-time originally. Then, when I came along, she went part-time. She never went back to full-time again.

There are things I inherited from my mother but the science gene was not one of them. My middle brother is a chemical engineer and my dad is a chemist – I didn’t get any of that. But the other thing about Mum is that she is also very good at drawing and painting and has an incredible eye for detail. Did it come naturally from her to me or was it just because she taught me how to do it? This is that question about the things you learn and the things you somehow just know. She took sewing lessons when she was pregnant with me so maybe that had an influence.

The value of treating other people the way you would want to be treated is something I’ve always been brought up with – something that I know Mum would say was passed down to her from her own mother, too. The importance of family and friends was another thing she was adamant about – she’s always taught us to look after the people we love.

Our family here in Adelaide is quite small. When my Nonna came to Australia some of her family stayed in Italy and others went to Melbourne. Mum grew up without cousins or aunties or uncles around her all the time and that made the connection to family something that was really important. And it’s not just traditional family – she believed in the idea of friends as family and holding all of them close. Family and close friends come first in our lives – before work, before anything else.

I don’t remember Mum ever really sitting me down and telling me all these things – I think it’s more watching, learning from experience, and seeing the way she acts and the way she conducts herself. I see her giving so much a lot of the time and I think: ‘You know, you just need to relax and think about yourself for a minute,’ but instead she just does as much as she can for people – all the time.

From a young age, I think both Mum and Dad could see that I had a passion for the arts. I always loved drawing and creating and they always did what they could to help me take it one step further. Mum would organise sewing lessons or art classes – anything that she could to help support me. If Mum heard that someone was involved in fashion, or in business, she’d ask them if they would take some time to talk to me and give me advice. She’s probably not the most business-minded person because she tends to give so much, but it’s been a nice balance for me – I’ve taken those qualities from her and I feel like I run my business with a lot of heart. Some people might not think that’s always a good thing when it comes to business and making a profit but it is something my mum instilled in me and that I really value.

There was this art teacher who was really fantastic and was always booked out. Mum kept contacting her and wouldn’t give up. In the end, she said: ‘Please just have a look at my son’s work.’ She ended up arranging a meeting with the teacher and she took me on as a private student. As a child, Mum would buy me pieces of fabric to practise with, and then when I was in high school I was allowed to have a fashion show as one of my subjects.

Mum was selling tickets, organising the seating – everything. Even now, with my new show coming up, she said to me the other day: ‘Have you got food organised for the models? Do you need me to make anything?’ She’s always thinking about others.

We are very similar people and we know when we get on each other’s nerves. But even if we do have occasional moments, it’s all over very quickly. Out of all three of her children, none of us have done anything particularly rebellious or that we weren’t really allowed to. I think Mum would be really disappointed in me if I ever touched a cigarette. Inside, I think she would die a little. It’s the guilt that makes you want to do the right thing – that Italian guilt. That’s something else she’s passed on. It’s not so much the yelling – my mum doesn’t yell. It’s when she goes quiet that your heart breaks.

The thing that would make Mum the most upset with us is if we didn’t recycle something properly. She’s very health-conscious and she’s very ‘green’ – she’s all about helping the planet. When Mum comes here to work with me she makes sure that everything that can be recycled has been recycled and if it hasn’t already been, she’ll take care of it. If there is a spider in the house, she won’t kill it – she’ll put it in a cup and take it into the garden. So now that’s what I do because I feel bad if I kill a spider.

She really should’ve been a botanist because she knows so much about plants. My earliest memory of Mum is in the garden. That was – and still is – a happy place for her. When I think of her now, that’s where I always picture her. I think she got that from my Nonno. He loved being in the garden too. Mum has a wealth of knowledge and if there’s a gardening show on TV, she’ll always want to watch it. That’s when there’s no way you can change the channel – gardening shows and cooking shows. I keep telling her it’s not too late to pursue a career in gardening or botany, but I think her fear is that there wouldn’t really be a job at the end of her studies – it’s more of a passion.

The thing that has always stood out most for me in my career is definitely my first show. I was sixteen and had no back­ground, no experience, no expectations, and to achieve what we achieved – and I say ‘we’ because, really, it was a team effort, of my parents, my family and friends – was incredible. The career highlights since have been doing dresses for the Academy Awards and dressing celebrities. As a kid, that was always a dream of mine, so seeing my dresses walking the red carpet was a kind of ‘pinch me’ moment. Moving to our new studio and seeing the team grow and develop has also been great.

Mum’s not boastful and I think when people say something about me to her, it does make her feel awkward. I know people say to her: ‘You must be so proud of Paul,’ and she says: ‘I didn’t do anything – he should be proud of himself.’ But that’s not the truth. She does a lot.

Mum’s very transparent in a way – in a good way. I’ll say: ‘Oh Mum, what do you think of this dress – is it okay?’ And when she doesn’t say anything, you just know. She doesn’t want to say anything bad.

Her opinion matters a lot to me because she’s got good taste. I know when to trust my gut as well, but I think, most of the time, I know when to listen to her opinion. I don’t need things to be sugar-coated. I would rather people be honest with me and tell me they don’t like something than say: ‘Oh, you’re fantastic – that’s really good.’ Maybe some people will think this sounds harsh, but Mum’s not going to go and tell me: ‘Paul, you can be anything – you can be a singer if you want to,’ because I can’t. It’s reality, you know. But some parents do that to their kids. They tell them they’re good at everything they ever do. Mum’s honest with me, but not in a blunt way. It always comes from a positive place.

I have to say, when I have kids, I’ll be looking to her as my example, asking for her advice.

There is definitely a fine line between crushing your kids’ dreams and being realistic with them. I think, when I first started, that was one of Mum’s concerns. She was really fearful of me getting into this industry because she had the same perception a lot of people have – that it’s really quite bitchy and competitive. As a mother, she really wanted to protect me from that and although she didn’t voice those concerns often, she did say to me: ‘If you don’t want to do it, that’s quite okay.’ Then, after my first show, she said: ‘If you think it’s not for you, that’s okay as well – don’t feel like you have to keep going if you don’t want to.’ I think, in the back of her mind, Mum was always worried that it would end with me being disappointed. I think she taught us to be really happy, confident people in ourselves – not that she’s an overly confident person, by any measure, but I think because she is so true to who she is, we see she’s confident in her own way.

Fortunately for me, fashion is quite a positive industry here in Adelaide and I haven’t had to experience a lot of negativity. It hasn’t been an easy route and it could’ve easily gone the other way. I am very lucky that it worked out for me – well, so far.

If I was ever upset or if I was disappointed with anything, she would always say: ‘You know, it wasn’t meant to be – that’s fine.’ She taught us that when it needs to happen, it will happen and what will be, will be. It’s proven itself true so many times that now, if something doesn’t work out for me, I’m never disappointed because I know that wasn’t right for me and something else will happen – and it always does.

Mum and Dad complement each other well. They’re happy. When Mum is running around doing a million things, Dad is the really calm and cool one, and when Dad is too calm and cool, Mum gets things organised. They’re a team.

Seeing how happy they are and how well they work together makes me realise it’s something I would want for myself. I don’t know what it is like to have parents who fight or have major arguments. If there was any friction between them at all, it would be minor: ‘Why didn’t you call me when you were leaving work?’ or ‘Why didn’t you recycle that?’

That’s another big reason I haven’t left Adelaide – my parents offer such a secure base for me. For my whole life, everyone has told me that if you want to make it in fashion, you’re not going to be able to stay in Adelaide. I actually went to live in Italy to study at the Istituto Europeo di Design in Milan. I didn’t want to go at first, but Mum and Dad kind of forced me to put my application in. Mum said: ‘Just put your name down and see how it goes.’ When I finally found out that I had been accepted – that I was going to Milan – I dropped the phone and Mum went really quiet, then Dad went really quiet. I don’t think anyone really expected that I would be going away for a year. Leaving my family was probably the hardest thing about it.

I am glad I did it – it helped me really grow up. After living at home and having Mum prepare every meal for me, being forced to cook for myself when I got to Italy was a shock. I could make an egg and I could toast bread and that was it. I’d never even boiled pasta.

Mum came to visit me and that was the most amazing thing because we travelled around Italy and spent time with some of her family, whom she had never met. Going to Sicily, where my Nonno’s hometown was, and seeing how at-home Mum seemed there – and seeing how her cousins were so similar to her, with similar mannerisms – was lovely.

When she came I had been there for six months already and I was so homesick – her visit just lifted me up again. It made everything better. I was so devastated when she had to go back to Australia.

Every day when I went home from my course, I would pull up the computer at the end of the table and call them on Skype. They would be back in Adelaide, eating breakfast or lunch and I would be eating my dinner. That’s one of the main reasons I came back and one of the reasons I can’t imagine leaving Adelaide again in a hurry. It’s the little things, really, that you miss.

Now I’m twenty-five and for the moment I am living with my family. Sure, I might have a successful business and my dresses might be at the Oscars but, aside from that, nothing’s really changed. To be quite honest, I am never really home now anyway. Mum will put my dinner in the fridge because often I work quite late.

Being close with my mum is something that I really treasure, especially since I have limited free time. If I just want to spend time with Mum, I can go and do that. It’s her stability that I value most.