LETTER FROM THE EDITORS

When we first set out to publish What Every Autistic Girl Wishes Her Parents Knew under our imprint, DragonBee Press, it was during a time in which there seemed to be a hopeless division between autistic adults and non-autistic parents. The relationship between autistic adults and parents of autistic kids has in the past been marked by misunderstanding and lack of a common language and sense of possibility for the lives of autistic kids. Since many of us had grown up in a time period in which autistic and intellectually/developmentally disabled youth were often segregated in school, institutionalized, and undiagnosed, or our disabilities treated with shame and hidden sometimes even from us, many parents of newly diagnosed young people had either never known—or never known that they’d known—other autistic people or what our lives could look like from early childhood all the way to later adulthood. As such, they didn’t understand how to relate their own autistic kids to autistic adults (including strangers on the internet) asking them to parent differently.

But as a community of autistic people who were diagnosed or identified both early and later in life ourselves, who have found community and solidarity in each other, in many ways members of our organization, AWN, are uniquely equipped to reach out and let parents know that many of the most important sources of strength and support for building a good life were almost never a particular kind of therapy or clinical intervention. Instead, we draw strength from knowing that we are accepted by the people in our lives, the recognition of our full humanity, and chances to be genuinely included in the world around us.

With increasing recognition over the years of the historic under-diagnosis of certain segments of the community (such as autistic women and girls) came an increase in awareness that autistic people themselves could actually have children; many parents of autistic kids were actually autistic, but undiagnosed. In fact, several of our own authors are not just autistic people but are parents (biological and adoptive) of autistic children themselves, and their vital knowledge is shaped not only by their own autistic childhoods but by their experiences as parents.

Another issue we knew we needed to address with the anthology re-publication is the increasing affirmation of gender diversity within the autistic community. When AWN was founded (as the Autism Women’s Network), and when we first conceived of the original anthology, our organization was dedicated to addressing the disparities in recognition, diagnosis, and social support faced by autistic women and girls in a medical and professional culture that often presented the stereotype of a non-verbal, young, white boy as the face of what autism meant, actively erasing and obscuring the existence and experiences of autistic girls and adult women.

Current research suggests that people on the autism spectrum demonstrate a diverse range of gender expression and sexual orientation. It is also true that the people who have gone underserved and unrecognized in the mainstream discussion of autism aren’t just cisgender women and girls. And even when we are raised as girls or identify as girls for some part of our lives, these are experiences that impact us growing up even if we don’t yet have the language to explain our gender realities.

We still very much believe that our initial vision to serve autistic women and girls is an important and meaningful one. However, the last several years have proven that in order to fulfill and be true to our original purpose, we needed to become a more gender-inclusive organization. It is also the defining reason we changed the name of our organization from the Autism Women’s Network to the Autistic Women & Nonbinary Network (AWN, or AWN Network), a name that is reflective of our renewed mission. What our authors have to say is relevant for autistic kids of every gender, which is why our title What Every Autistic Girl Wishes Her Parents Knew is now Sincerely, Your Autistic Child.

As you read the different chapters in this book, please keep in mind that each writer has offered to share a part of who they are as a person so that you may better understand what autistic people experience as we navigate the world. Because we believe it is important to highlight the impact of identity on our lives, our anthology intentionally features a diverse group of authors. With writers ranging from the Silent Generation to Generation Z, we strive to provide a multigenerational lens; similarly, we seek to represent a broad range of faith beliefs with contributors who are Muslim, atheist, Jewish, agnostic, Christian, Pagan, etc.

We have authors who are advocates, stay-at-home and working parents, college students, employed, and unemployed; we have authors who live independently, who have live-in support, who live with their partner, spouse, or family, and who live (or have lived) in residential or congregate care. Additionally, we are proud to feature a myriad of cultural backgrounds in our anthology. We have authors from the UK, Canada, and Japan in addition to the US; half are people of color (including Asian, Latinx, Black, Indigenous, Arab, and multiracial people) and half are white. Our authors include individuals who are non-speaking (both exclusively and part-time) and use adaptive and augmentative communication (AAC) technology such as typing, and individuals who communicate by speaking.

You will notice that some writers refer to themselves as “autistic”; others say “on the spectrum” and some use “has autism.” Although AWN, as an organization, has adopted identity first language (i.e., “Autistic”), we believe that people have the right to choose how they identify. You’ll also see some authors capitalize “Autistic” in a similar way that many Deaf or Black people capitalize those terms out of a sense of identity or pride. You may notice that some of our contributors use personal pronouns other than “she/her” or “he/him,” including “they/them” or “sie/hir.” These are choices sometimes made by transgender, agender, and gender non-binary people when conventional binary language about gender does not reflect their personal reality. Finally, wherever functioning level language is used (“high-functioning” or “low-functioning”), it is to discuss language that clinicians and medical professionals have used, not because AWN endorses the ideas conveyed by those terms.

Our anthology is designed to offer the reader a break from the clinical/medical guidebooks to consider perspectives that are only available by hearing from the real experts, autistic people. As no two individuals or families are the same, each experience shared in this book is authentically unique.

Sincerely, Your Autistic Child is a dedicated labor of vulnerability, honesty, and love, and AWN is thrilled to reintroduce this book to you!