I’d been staying in a budget motel and the cheap end of town since the argument with my dad. I’d thought about going back and trying to talk to him again, but every time the thought entered my head, a sickly, heavy dread hit my stomach too and I couldn’t deal with that.
The motel was gross. The sheets were stained with a variety of different colors and the mattress sagged in the middle. It was okay, though. It was better to sit on my own and listen to the sound of hookers screwing their clients for money than it was listen to my father pushing me into dropping the charges against Sam.
I woke up on the day that court was due to start with my hair stuck to my back with sweat. I’d been tossing and turning all night and my sheets had wrapped themselves into an intricate knot around my legs, which I couldn’t seem to unravel. I felt cold and miserable. The damp from the walls and the carpet were only adding the mildew feeling against my skin and all I wanted to do was cry.
I didn’t cry though. I couldn’t. I couldn’t let the force of the day destroy me so early on. I managed to slip my legs out of the knotted sheets and turned on the creaking, low powered shower that was in the bathroom. The tiles on the walls were all lined with black and the plug hole didn’t seem to work properly, but I stepped into the lukewarm water anyway and tried to wash of the dirty, damp feeling of sleep.
It took a while in the shower, before I felt clean enough to get out. I tried not to think about who else had used the towels which were hanging from a rusty towel hanger attached to the wall, as I wrapped one around my body and walked back into the small sleeping area, which also served as a kitchen. The kitchen part of the room wasn’t really a kitchen. It was a kettle, and a toaster which sparked whenever you switched it on.
I dried off and pulled on the cheap suit that I’d managed to pick up from the used-clothing store down the street. I didn’t look great. The cheap conditioner and shampoo I’d been using had dulled my hair and I could see hundreds of flyaway strands breaking free from the ponytail I’d fastened to the back of my head.
I examined the suit I was wearing. The mirror was dirty and it had smudges, which distorted my reflection, but I could tell that it fit reasonably well.
When I was sure that I looked as good as I was going to look, I left the dark and dismal motel room, so I could walk over to the courthouse. I had no idea what to expect, as I walked along the quiet streets, which hadn’t quite woken up yet from their nightly rest.
The courthouse was an impressive building. The front was covered in what looked like marble, and a wide fountain filled the spacious entrance.
I walked into the building and looked around. I could hear the sound of phones ringing being mixed with the steady clicking of heels against the tiled floors. I noticed a sign indicating that the reception was just around the corner and out of sight, so I followed it and found myself standing in front of a grand oak desk with a pretty redheaded girl sitting behind it.
“Can I help?” she asked when she looked up and noticed me eyeing her nervously.
I nodded and passed over the letter they had sent to me, to her, so that she could point me in the right direction.
“Oh, right,” she said when she’d scanned over the information. “If you follow this hallway down to the end and then catch the elevator to the third floor, you’ll find a small waiting area. If you just wait there until you’re called.”
She passed the letter back to me and I thanked her quietly, before I followed the instructions she had given me. I could feel my breath rattling around in my lungs nervously. This was it. This was the day I’d been waiting for. This was the day when Sam wouldn’t be able to run from what he’d done any longer.
The elevator doors opened and I noticed a small waiting room just off to my right. I walked over and pushed the door open. It was empty. I walked into the room and took one of the seats by the window. I was glad that it was empty. I was glad that I didn’t have to look strong or pretend that I was feeling that way.
I let my shoulders slump down into the back rest as I thought about everything that would be happening that day. The letter had said that the day might not be enough and there was a chance that the case would last over the next few days. It depended on the evidence and statements that were provided.
I wasn’t sure whether I’d be able to last for that long. I already felt close to breaking. I already felt as though the weight on my shoulders was ready to force me down, until I was nothing more than a two dimensional pool on the ground.
The door to the waiting room opened and I felt my head spin around, so that I could see who it was. I felt disappointment when I realized it wasn’t anybody that I knew. I don’t know who I’d been hoping it would be. “Faith?” the woman asked, as she stood by the door holding it half open.
“Yes?”
“We’re ready for you to enter the court room now. If you follow me, then I’ll take you there.”
I stood up and walked across the room. She smiled at me warmly and I wondered whether she knew the reason behind why I was there.