Life’s a Journey, not a Destination

You’ve made a great start by looking at where you are at the moment – now it’s time to think about where you’re heading and take a few steps in the right direction. This chapter shows you that small changes make a difference and it challenges you to take a trip to the edge of your comfort zone. There are tips on goal-setting and the practicalities of prioritizing, but – don’t worry – there are plenty of easy ideas for adding excitement to your day too.

In fact, if you’ve ever wondered how to make housework fun, this is definitely the chapter for you!

Start each day with the intention to do something that makes a difference – however small – to your own life or someone else’s, and then go ahead and do it. When you wake up, decide on your worthwhile activity and write it down if you like. Make sure it’s something that inspires you to leap out of bed, not to hide under the sheets! Today I’m going to pay someone a compliment… pick up some litter… plan my dream road-trip… declutter and donate some clothes to charity… Your sense of purpose will motivate you and you’ll get a great sense of satisfaction from achieving your goal.

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.

Think back to how exciting life was when you were a child – how every day was full of adventure and you were prepared to come up with some pretty good staying-up-late strategies so that it didn’t have to end. What’s changed? Well, you have!

As we grow older we lose many of the things that make life more fun: a spirit of adventure; a sense of wonder at the world around us; our imagination; the knowledge that play is important; dirty knees; the belief that we can do anything we want with our lives; the desire to write poems or paint… and why did we all stop dressing up?! Well, don’t worry – all of these things are still possible. It’s time to tune in to your inner child.

Here are some activities to lose yourself in, and they’re a great reminder that you don’t need to spend money to add fun to your day. Look back at your childhood photos for more inspiration – your favourite hobbies are just waiting to be rediscovered.

Retro books and computer games – revisit some classics.

Play with your food -bake and decorate gingerbread people, invent an epic new sandwich.

Wonder at nature - look for bugs with a magnifying glass or find shapes in the clouds; splash in puddles or gather materials for a natural collage.

Play games - board games, card games, word games and puzzles have no significance in the great scheme of things but are simply fun to do.

Go to an adventure playground - it’s empty all day when the kids are at school.

Dress up - organize a fancy-dress party or go to a convention dressed as your favourite character.

Run for fun - put on your sports gear but forget your training app. Just sprint across the park at top speed to feel the wind in your face, or hurtle down a hill.

Draw, paint, colour... model your friends and family out of salt dough to unwind! Try some finger-painting and get really messy.

Getting excited about an upcoming event is often as much a part of the enjoyment as the activity itself. The anticipation will lift your spirits and carry you through mundane moments. It’s wonderful to have a big treat on the horizon, but once you start to tune in to smaller blessings, you’ll be able to find something to look forward to every day.

Each morning, pick a treat to enjoy later in the day and savour the anticipation as the moment approaches. Your treat doesn’t need to be anything extravagant – a quick break to read your favourite book or to listen to some music can be more rewarding than buying yourself a coffee and a cake. (Although combining all of those things would be lovely too!)

We all have to do tasks that are a bit of a drag, but there’s usually something you can do to make even the most repetitive of chores a little more fun. If you have to spend half an hour cleaning the car, for example, why not put on your favourite playlist and have a soundtrack to get you moving? Or you could group together any easy indoor tasks – such as ironing, dusting and polishing shoes – and put on an episode of your favourite TV series while you do them. You could fit in some fitness by making the vacuuming part of a workout, use the washing-up as a moment to mindfully focus on the sensations around you, or set yourself a time challenge when changing the sheets or hanging up the laundry.

With a little thought, you can add something positive to almost every part of your day, so get creative and use this page to brainstorm some ideas for turning a mundane Monday (or Tuesday… or Wednesday…) into something worth jumping out of bed for.

Now that you’ve worked out what’s important to you in life, it’s time to start putting that knowledge into practice as you choose what to do each day. This means learning when to say yes and when to say no. Your life will feel more fulfilled if you say yes to the things that matter, and no to the things you’d rather avoid. Life is never quite that simple, of course, but it is important to say no to extra responsibilities that you don’t have time for in a polite but firm way. So your first challenge is:

… and free up some extra time to spend with family or on your favourite hobby.

Saying yes to things can be tricky too. Perhaps you’ve been invited to try out an activity with a group of friends or offered a new responsibility at work. You’d really like to give it a go, but you’re worried that you won’t be up to the challenge. The only sure-fire way you’ll fail is if you don’t give it a try, so don’t let your fears hold you back. There are wonderful experiences waiting just outside your comfort zone – and even if you don’t get things right first time, there are lessons to be learnt and laughs to be had, so your next challenge is to:

Your new “I can do it” attitude will help you invite in lots of new experiences.

Every journey needs direction – and setting goals is a brilliant way to inspire you and motivate you to take action. Now you’ve cleared some space in your schedule to pursue your dreams and thought about the things you’d like to work towards, use the following pages to set yourself some goals. Then you just need to tune in to your enthusiasm and start your quest!

1. You must enjoy the process of working towards your goal to stay motivated and happy, so don’t plan a novel if you hate writing! The steps you take every day towards achieving your dream should be as much fun as the end result.

2. If you’ve set a long-term goal, be flexible. You might decide to take a different direction once you get started – and that’s great! It’s fine to move the goalposts.

When you’re setting your goals it might help to look back at pages 28–29 to remind yourself of the values that are important to you. If you’re not enjoying your work, for example, perhaps it’s because it’s not creative enough, and you really value creativity. Changing your job is one option – and could be your long-term goal – but you might want to pick a more manageable step to begin with. Perhaps you could find ways to add some creativity into your current job or try some voluntary work in a more appealing area first? Or you could find a creative outlet in a hobby or evening class instead.

This table will help you take a look at the different areas of your life and think about any goals you might like to set. The column on the right is for you to plan your first move – it’s great to have a practical plan in place, and taking that initial step in the right direction is a brilliant feeling too. If you can, schedule in a little time each week to work towards your dreams.

Small changes to your routine and lifestyle add up, so if want to work on an area of your life, start by improving just one thing. Perhaps you feel that you need to sort out your diet? Regularly swapping one snack for something healthier is a brilliant way to begin. Or maybe you want to have more time to devote to study – well, getting up just 15 minutes earlier a day will give you almost two hours every week towards your cause. Small changes like these are easier to fit in and stick to, so change one little thing today and look forward to big results.

We are creatures of habit, but by always taking the same route to work, eating in the same cafe or rewatching a favourite box set, we’re missing out on the chance to discover something new and exciting. This book is full of ideas for fitting new experiences into your life, but start now with something small and you’ll see how easy and rewarding it can be to freshen up your day. You could try wearing something different, listening to a new type of music or taking an unusual route to work. You’ll find yourself noticing the details of your new experience, rather than drifting through it.

Many of us are sensitive to other people’s views about us, but there’s no need to accept them – especially if they’re limiting ones! Perhaps you were always told that no one in your family was sporty or artistic and so you’ve never given these activities a try? But with so many options out there – from martial arts to athletics and playing the guitar to pottery – there’s sure to be something that you’ve got a real talent for.

We can be guilty of labelling ourselves too, thinking we must be shy if we’ve ever felt anxious in an intimidating situation, for example. But our emotions are fleeting reactions to the moment and don’t need to be carried with us. Resolve to live a label-free life; to take each challenge as it comes; and to try out something you’ve always shied away from. Don’t leave your strengths undiscovered – you could be missing out on some brilliant opportunities.

For many of us the idea of getting things wrong is a negative one. School taught us to aim for ticks rather than crosses on our homework, and as adults we can end up with a fear of failure, which may stop us from trying out new experiences. But no one gets perfect results every time – life’s just not like that – so next time things don’t go according to plan, remind yourself that we can learn our best lessons from our mistakes.

Once you discover that it’s not the end of the world if you mess up, you’ll feel less stressed and much more confident about embracing life’s opportunities… and that can only lead to more fun and excitement.

There’s so much to celebrate in day-to-day life if we stop to think about it... and find time for a little celebration! Whether it’s an achievement at work, a change in the weather or your sports team winning a match, mark the occasion with a treat: a cheerful message to a friend or a mini get-together (any excuse for a coffee!). When you start acknowledging the small wins, you’ll realize just how many of them there are. (Don’t forget to celebrate the small steps you take when you’re working towards your goals – this will keep you inspired and help you to enjoy your projects even more.)

Wake up	e.g. try some yoga stretches, set a positive intention for the day
Shower/getting ready	e.g. create a morning playlist to boost your mood
Breakfast	e.g. eat mindfully, treat yourself to a special breakfast, catch up with family (no phones allowed!)
Commute	e.g. try a new route to work, fit in some exercise
Work	e.g. share some snacks, brighten up your work area
Lunch break	e.g. add in a walk, eat somewhere new, do a guided meditation
After work	e.g. visit somewhere new on your journey home, travel with a friend
Chores	e.g. set a timer, get them done and make them fun
Leisure time	e.g. enjoy a treat that you’ve been anticipating all day
Bedtime	e.g. unwind with journaling, have a luxurious bath, develop a bedtime ritual

AREA	How do you feel about this area of your life? 😊 / 😐 / 😒	What would you like to change?
Work
Physical health
Emotional well-being
Family
Home
Hobbies
Relationships
Causes that matter to me
Creative
Any others (e.g. spiritual)

What goal would you like to set?	What’s the first step you can take?