Chapter Fourteen

Caleb wiped the sweat from his brow as he raced away from Lily’s house. He had no memory of grabbing his tools and flinging himself into his truck. All he knew was that he had to get away from Lily before he broke down and did something stupid.

He pressed his knuckles against his eyes, but nothing could erase the memory of Lily’s stricken face. What the hell had happened just then?

Lily said she was in love with you.

It was all a colossal mistake. She wasn’t in love with him. She couldn’t be. He couldn’t have her loving him. Couldn’t bear to see her suffer when he hurt her, which would be inevitable. Love, her kind of love—the fluffy, rosy, Hallmark kind of love—was wasted on him.

Lily deserved someone better, someone who knew how to make her happy. Not him. He wouldn’t be like his mom, selfishly taking love only to throw it away when it wasn’t convenient. The memory of his dad sobbing alone in the bathroom sat like a granite tombstone in Caleb’s chest. It was a good thing Tracey had turned up to remind him of what had happened.

He’d hurt Lily. He could still feel her pain vibrating through him, her sweet, quavering voice splitting him in two. But she’d get over him soon enough. Better to hurt her a little now than a whole lot later.

The truck engine screeched in protest as he gnashed the gears. Icy sweat coated his skin. He’d done the right thing, he told himself over and over. Sometimes the right thing was hard to do, but in the end, he knew, it would be worth it. And maybe Lily would thank him eventually, when she found her happily ever after with someone else.

…

Caleb’s father looked around the finished hallway. “I’m impressed,” he said to Caleb. “Looks like you’re all done here.”

“Not quite. There’s still a helluva lot of touching up before it’s ready for the clients.” Caleb ran his finger along the lower steps of the staircase and grimaced at the scratches he’d noticed.

Frank nodded at him. “I’m proud of you, son. You’re going to be a partner soon.”

“Soon as I get this place finished.” Today was Saturday; he had forty-eight hours to get everything perfect.

“I’ll be glad when you can slow down a bit. Maybe you’ll even be able to help me with my Little League soon, huh?”

“Absolutely, Dad. Looking forward to it.” This was one of the reasons why he’d worked so hard to get the partnership. Why he had to stay focused and not think about Lily.

Frank pushed his hands into his pockets. “Look, I didn’t show up just to see how you were doing. There’s something else.”

He paused to rub his lower lip, making Caleb’s gut tense. “What is it?”

“Well, I want to talk about your mom.”

Caleb stiffened. “Hey, I’d love to chat, Dad, but I got a ton of work here.”

“Okay, I’ll be quick. You know I’m the last one to want to talk about her, but I hear she’s been trying to reestablish contact with you, and you won’t have anything to do with it.”

“I’d have thought my reasons were pretty clear. Especially to you.”

“Right. No argument there.” Frank nodded. “She hurt all of us.”

“So? Why are we even discussing her?”

“Because…” His father scraped his jaw. “Because I’ve had time to gain some perspective. Your mom hurt me, yes, but you know what? I don’t regret marrying her. We had some great times. She was wonderful back then. And she was great with you and Hannah. Sure, she wasn’t a regular parent. She was always a bit too unconventional for some of the other moms, but she was always making up fun stuff for you kids. Remember when she made your Halloween costume out of pine cones and bits of bark? You were ecstatic. You insisted on wearing it for a whole week until your bed looked like a compost heap.”

Caleb’s heart squeezed. Why did his dad have to dig out that particular bittersweet memory? “I was five then. I would’ve been happy for any attention.”

“What I’m trying to say is that your mom did care about us.”

“Yeah, and then she left and took all your money, including Hannah’s college fund.” Caleb picked up a rag and started rubbing at the scratches on the staircase.

“All true, but I don’t want you to let that fester inside you.”

“What do you expect me to do? Forget it ever happened?”

His father let out a sigh. “I don’t know, Caleb. I just… It pains me to think you’re holding on to that hurt for so long. Too long.”

Caleb polished the step harder. “It’s a useful reminder, that’s all. Don’t worry about me, Dad. And I know Hannah’s been talking to Mom recently. It doesn’t bother me. If you don’t mind, I have to get these stairs finished.”

His father watched him for a while, then patted him on the back. “All right, Son. I won’t keep you any longer. See you later, okay?”

Caleb turned to look at him over his shoulder. “If everything pans out, I’ll talk to you next week about your Little League coaching.”

His father smiled. “Looking forward to it.”

Alone once more, Caleb concentrated on the stairs. Why had his dad picked this weekend of all times to talk about Tracey? He was adamant that he wanted nothing to do with her. Nothing. And yet, he couldn’t help thinking there was something else his dad had been trying to tell him. Was it to do with him avoiding risk and ending up with nothing? His stomach felt hollow and cold. He did not want to think about Lily, but everything his dad said seemed to refer to her.

He balled the rag and flung it across the hallway.

Screw this. He had no time for navel gazing. He had to put Lily out of his head and get this house ready.

…

Caleb glared at the store clerk. “Whaddaya mean you’re out of Polyx Oil? You can’t be.”

The pimply teenager gulped. “I’m sorry, sir. I did check the stockroom—”

“Check again.”

The Saturday morning line behind him in the hardware store was getting restless, but, probably sensing his foul mood, no one challenged him.

“Uh…”

Before the teenager could utter another word, Amber glided up to the counter and hooked her arm through Caleb. “Hey, buddy, why don’t you come with me, and I’ll get you sorted.”

He grudgingly allowed his friend to steer him away. “I need a can of Polyx Oil.”

“Yes, I heard, but we’re out of stock. I know, because I’ve been waiting for a delivery for days now. I’m expecting it next week.”

“Next week’s too late. I’ve got to finish the house by tomorrow, and I need that Polyx Oil. Some careless moron left some scratches on the staircase, and I need to fix them.” He let out a growl of pure frustration.

“I might have some sample cans in my office.”

“That could work.”

He followed her to her manager’s office upstairs. As soon as he entered, she kicked the door shut and folded her arms.

“What is going on with you, Caleb?”

“Nothing. I just need to finish the house.”

“No, something’s going on. I’ve never seen you like this. You scared that poor boy out there.”

Caleb huffed. “I’ll apologize to him on my way out.”

Amber rubbed his arm. “Talk to me, please, Caleb. You were there for me when life was crapping on me. Let me do the same for you.”

He was about to shrug her off, tell her that it was just the stress of the deadline. But the sparkle of her engagement ring caught his attention, and the darkness that had hovered over him all week suddenly became suffocating.

Scrubbing his face, he moved over to the window and stared down at the parking lot, not seeing anything.

“I think I’ve screwed up,” he said. “Screwed up big time.”

“Tell me.”

So he did. With his back turned to Amber, he spilled out everything. How he’d begun to look forward to spending time with Lily, how he’d flirted with her, pretending it was part of his date coaching, how conflicted he’d felt when she started dating Ryan. How he’d gone to the cookout because the thought of her having a good time with Ryan had started to eat him alive. How he’d avoided her because he didn’t want to hear how wonderful Ryan was.

And finally he blurted out what had happened the last time he’d seen Lily, what she’d said to him, and how he’d responded.

“I froze. My mind went blank.” He scored his fingers through his hair. “What the hell was I supposed to say?”

“You were supposed to tell her the truth.”

“I did tell her the truth! I’m the wrong guy for her. I could never make her happy. Oh, sure, I could make her happy for a short while, but in the end I’d hurt her. I’m not a relationship guy. Everyone knows that. She knows that.”

Amber shook her head. “I’ve known you since you were six, Caleb. I’ve never seen you this worked up over a woman. Admit it, you care about Lily.”

Yes, of course he did. Why else did his insides contort every time he thought of her? Why else did he keep seeing her aching eyes as she confessed her feelings, her crumpled face when he rejected her? All the pain he inflicted on her bounced straight back to him, tenfold.

His knees wobbled as he sank into a chair.

He was in love with Lily. And he’d been a complete brute to her.

She’d had the courage to open her heart to him, and what had he done? He’d panicked, retreated into his shell, and stomped on her openness. And then he’d avoided her all week, persisting in his stupidity, thinking he was doing her a favor while his insides became more gouged out with every passing day.

The advice his father had given him just an hour ago crystallized into one, indisputable fact.

“I’m an idiot,” he groaned.

His dad was right. He’d kept Lily at arm’s length because he was afraid of getting hurt, but that had backfired because he’d surrendered his heart to her anyway. A life without hurt, without love, without passion and loss, was only half a life. He wanted all of it, with Lily, and now he was terrified he’d lost any chance with her.

Amber took the chair next to him and patted his knee. “So I take it I’m right? You care about Lily? Perhaps even a teensy bit in love?”

“Screw teensy.” He scowled at her. “I’m a whole lot in love with her.” He paused and rubbed his chest where his heart was pumping furiously. “Hell. Does it always feel this weird admitting you’re in love with someone?”

“It’s good weird.” Amber grinned at him. “So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I have to see her. She hates my guts, of course, but I have to apologize, beg her for another chance, anything.” His heart boomed like thunder. Yes, he had to see Lily as soon as possible. What he had to say to her couldn’t wait another day, another hour. He shot to his feet, but then slapped a hand across his forehead. “Argh, I forgot, she’s not here this weekend. She’s gone to San Francisco for her college reunion.”

“San Francisco? Oh…” Amber picked up a pen from her desk, grimacing.

Caleb peered closer at his friend. “What? What are you trying not to say?”

She shrugged. “It’s probably nothing, but I heard Ryan was going to San Francisco, too, this weekend.”

Ice punctured Caleb’s lungs. He’d asked Lily if she was taking Ryan, and she’d shrugged off the question. That was before she’d opened her heart to him. If she was supposed to be in love with him, would she really take Ryan with her to the reunion? Yeah, maybe. Rebound sex happened all the time. His skull pounded. If Lily had taken Ryan with her—and why shouldn’t she after Caleb had blown her off?—then it just meant he’d have to work harder to win her over.

No risk, no reward.

“Then that’s where I’m headed, too,” he said.

“San Francisco?” Amber rose from her seat. “Now?”

“Yup.” He’d drive to the airport and catch the first flight to San Francisco. He was already striding toward the door, his mind churning with everything he needed to do.

“Hey, what about your house project? I thought you needed it done by tomorrow to get that partnership with Bill Baker?”

He screeched to a halt, his thoughts veering in circles. The house. The partnership. Bill Baker was counting on him to deliver that house on time. If he didn’t stay here and finish his work, then he’d be letting Bill down. Not to mention his dad, because he wouldn’t be able to help him with his Little League team like he’d promised.

But if he didn’t go to San Francisco, he could be kissing goodbye any chance he might have with Lily. What should he choose? Partnership, a solid career, helping his dad, or the strong possibility of making a fool of himself in front of the woman he loved and might have lost?

“Lily. I have to see Lily.” He continued striding toward the door.

Amber hurried after him. “But did she even tell you where she’s staying?”

He halted. “Crap. No.”

“What about the reunion? Know any details?”

Rubbing his brow, he gave her the college and year. Amber did a quick internet search on her cell phone. “Aha. It’s being held at the Regent Hotel. Pretty swanky.”

“Thanks.” He was already halfway through the door.

“Better pack a suit,” she called after him. “Good luck.”

He lifted a hand in salute, not breaking his stride. He’d need more than good luck. He’d need a miracle.

…

The cell phone in Lily’s compact evening purse beeped while she was blotting her lipstick, causing her to start. She set the tissue aside and fumbled with the clasp, her fingers clumsy as she pulled out the phone and inspected the screen. When she saw the name of her caller, her shoulders dipped.

It wasn’t Caleb. Why was she still hoping he’d call? She had already endured a whole week of jumping whenever her phone rang only to slump down when she saw it wasn’t him. When would her foolish heart learn that he wasn’t going to reach out?

She let Maddie’s call go to voicemail, just like she had with others from her friends. She needed time to gather herself before she went downstairs to the ballroom and came face-to-face with all those people from college. Turning, she inspected herself in the full-length mirror on the back of the hotel bathroom door.

She was wearing her crocheted dress, the one that had won second prize at the county fair. When she’d made the dress, she’d had no intention of ever wearing it in public. It was a madcap, fantastical creation dreamed up from the wilds of her imagination, purely for her own creative satisfaction. But since then, something had made her change her mind. The dress was kooky, some would say bizarre, but it was her, and if she’d learned one thing in the past few weeks it was that she was proud of who she was.

Also, Caleb liked her dress. He’d called it stunning.

The treacherous thought snuck through her defenses. She gritted her teeth. All week she’d had to fend off these furtive attacks.

Stop thinking about Caleb. He isn’t in love with me. He told me to my face. Why can’t I accept that and move on?

One day she’d have to accept it. And she was moving on. Why else had she come to San Francisco? Caleb had done her a favor by rejecting her. It had taken every scrap of courage to tell him how she really felt. Nothing would ever hurt as much as that moment when she’d seen the shutters coming down behind his eyes. Nothing.

She straightened a crochet flower on her shoulder, then picked up her purse.

Right. Time to go downstairs and show everyone, especially Shari, that she had made it to the reunion, that she was not the awkward, retiring person she once was. She was different now, that was for sure. Aching and wounded, but stronger. She could act like she was having fun. And who knew? Maybe tonight the stars would miraculously align and she’d find the cure to her mangled heart.

…

Trust his luck. The cab driver was either incompetent or ripping him off. They’d stopped at the wrong place.

“Not the St. Regis Hotel,” Caleb barked at the driver. “I said the Regent Hotel.”

“Sorry, buddy. Honest mistake.” The driver waved lazily as he executed a U-turn, turning up the radio that was tuned in to a baseball game.

Caleb drummed his fingers on his knee as they crawled through downtown traffic. Seven thirty, and it seemed everyone in San Francisco had decided to go out for the night.

Fifteen minutes later, they’d only covered five city blocks. Up ahead, he caught a glimpse of a glowing neon sign announcing the Regent Hotel.

“I’ll walk from here,” he said, thrusting a few bills at the driver. “Keep the change.” He jumped out of the cab and began motoring down the sidewalk toward the hotel.

He hadn’t gone a dozen strides before he started chafing under his arms. “Stupid suit,” he muttered, twisting and wriggling in a vain attempt to get more comfortable. In his rush to get to San Francisco, he’d snatched the wrong suit from his closet. Instead of the smart, charcoal gray one he’d bought just a few months ago, he’d grabbed the old one destined for charity, only discovering his mistake when he’d landed in San Francisco and gone to change. The outdated suit, bought when he was a skinny youngster, was two sizes too small for him. He looked like a fricking clown in it, but there was no time to buy something else, and besides, he now realized, he’d forgotten the duffel bag containing his jeans and T-shirt in the cab.

Finally reaching the Regent Hotel, he pushed his way into the busy foyer. A notice board announced the reunion was being held in the Crystal Ballroom, one floor above. Too impatient to wait for the elevator, he bounded up the sweeping staircase. As he leaped up the last two stairs, a faint ripping sound came from his crotch.

No way.

Lifting his leg, he found a small gap in the inner seam halfway up his thigh.

A black-haired woman in a very tight red dress paused next to him and gave him a saucy smile. “I wouldn’t worry about that,” she purred. “It just improves the view.”

He was about to say something when he glanced over her shoulder and spotted Lily. She was strolling into the ballroom, her back to him. His eyes went wide as he took in her dress, a wild kaleidoscope of colors and sprouting flowers and bells and swirly shapes. It was the funky crocheted dress that had won her a prize at the county fair, and she looked amazing. Belatedly, he realized she was with someone, a dude in a dark suit. From this distance it looked like Ryan. So it was true; Lily had brought Ryan to the reunion.

As Lily and her companion disappeared into the ballroom, his stomach went into freefall. Looked like his worst fears had been confirmed. But he wasn’t going to let it stop him. He rolled his shoulders and started to march toward the ballroom.

The woman in the red dress teetered along beside him. “Oh, are you going to the reunion, too? How lovely.” She offered her hand to him. “I’m Shari Slater, one of the organizers. And you are?”

“Caleb Willmett.” He shook hands with her briefly as he walked.

“You’re someone’s date, obviously. And I’m engaged. Too bad, hmm?” She nudged him playfully. “Now, who’s the lucky girl who brought you along?”

Shari Slater. He’d heard that name before. Then he remembered. Shari Slater, the frenemy who’d goaded Lily into lying about bringing a boyfriend to the reunion. The lie had become the truth, because Lily had just walked into the ballroom with Ryan. But who’s to say a girl couldn’t have two boyfriends? He’d come to San Francisco because he wasn’t going to give her up without a fight.

He turned to the woman who’d caused Lily so much angst. “I’m with Lily. Lily Baker. I’m her boyfriend.”

Shari’s false eyelashes started to flicker like a broken fluorescent light. “You’re Lily’s boyfriend?” she practically screeched.

“Yep.” He lengthened his stride as they entered the ballroom. The place was packed. Waiters circulated with trays of drinks and canapés. Laughter and chatter filled the air along with the occasional outburst of shrieks as past friends reconnected.

“But—but—” Shari was still at his side. “Are you sure?”

He didn’t have time to be polite. He had to find Lily. He pushed through the crowd, scanning faces for the one person he needed to see.

“She’s over there.” Shari pointed to her left, a smirk on her face. “No one could miss that monstrosity of a dress.”

Caleb barely heard her. His gaze zeroed in on the woman with the soft brown curls wearing the wild and wonderful dress. Lily. For a split second sheer panic seized him, but then he shook it off and strode forward.