Zach wasn’t quite sure why he didn’t just take Elise home with him. Maybe because he was turned on by the idea of her thinking about it all week, touching herself as she thought of him. He’d nearly lost it when she told him what she’d done last night. And when he slid his finger inside her… Yeah, it was a miracle he hadn’t taken her right there in the hall.
Or maybe this was mostly about delaying the inevitable: when he decided he was bored and didn’t call her back.
As soon as he got home, he looked up Ottawa hotels. The first one he found was booked for next weekend. So was the second…and the third…and the fourth. Damn.
He finally managed to find a reasonably nice one downtown. Only suites were left, but that was fine. He didn’t mind spending the money. Or sightseeing in Ottawa, even though he’d been there a bunch of times before. Or spending nine hours in the car with Elise.
Zach was looking forward to all of it, actually. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked forward to something quite this much.
He called Tracey to let her know he couldn’t take Maddie and Ethan swimming next weekend.
“Big plans?” Tracey asked.
“Going to Ottawa with a friend,” he said.
“A friend,” she repeated, laughing a little. “A woman?”
“Yeah, a woman.” He didn’t mind Tracey making assumptions. Perhaps because it seemed to amuse her, and he thought she could use some amusing.
»»•««
“If it doesn’t work out with Zach,” Marissa said over lunch on Wednesday, “I’m making you an online dating profile. How long has it been since you dated someone?”
“Two years,” Elise said.
“You’re selective.”
“That’s a nice way of putting it.”
“As opposed to?”
Unattractive and boring. Elise shrugged. “I don’t get out much. I don’t meet many men.”
“We’ll change that.”
She had a bite of her sandwich. “Zach makes it sound like we’ll sleep together in Ottawa, and then he’ll lose interest in me.”
“Are we talking about the same man here?” Marissa said. “The guy was crazy about you.”
“And refused to do anything when Rory pretended to be interested in me.”
“True.” Marissa smiled sympathetically. “Maybe you’re like me and have a thing for emotionally-unavailable assholes.”
“Wasn’t that only Dan? You don’t usually date jerks.”
“Yeah, well. I suppose it really was just Dan.”
Elise looked down. “I think Zach’s wrong though. I don’t think he’s as much of a player as he seems to believe, and I suspect he’ll still be interested in me after we sleep together.” She covered her face with her hands. “My God, I can’t believe I’m saying this.”
“What, talking about having sex?”
“Well, that too. But I mean…I can’t believe I’m saying I think he really likes me.”
You’re nothing. She heard her mother’s voice in her head. Nothing but a mistake. She’d heard it over and over, but the time she remembered now was her mother yelling those words while Elise made dinner, her little sister clutching her leg and hiding.
Her mother had thought she was a mistake, but Elise had been the one who cooked and cleaned and took care of her siblings and tried to shelter them from the abuse.
She was something, and someone could care for her, even if she’d been told otherwise so many times before. She deserved it.
And she might not have gotten a date for prom—which had made her mother sneer and say “I’m not surprised”—but she was pretty, too.
It had taken a couple of years of therapy for Elise to feel good about herself. Still, it surprised her a little that someone like Zach wanted her.
But it was true. He’d made it clear.
“Be confident,” Marissa said. “There’s no reason a hot guy shouldn’t like you. And I’m not the kind of person who says shit like that just to be nice.”
“No, you’re really not,” Elise said, pushing aside her memories, and Marissa laughed.
“But maybe this will just be a weekend-long affair, and he won’t want anything more because of his stupid hang-ups. You have to be prepared for that.”
“Yeah, I am. Perhaps I’ll get hurt, but I’m determined to do this trip no matter what. I haven’t had sex in three years and—”
“Three years!” Marissa spluttered, just as their boss walked into the lunchroom.
Yeah, three years. But it wasn’t like Elise had ever had a lot of sex.
She was really looking forward to this weekend. To being something she’d once thought she could never be—irresistible. Even if it was short-lived.
»»•««
“I’m worried about Brit,” Corey said. “Her relationship doesn’t exactly seem…healthy.”
Elise’s brother had stopped by unannounced on Wednesday evening, apparently to discuss his twin sister. The two of them were now sitting at her kitchen table and drinking coffee.
“Brit’s relationships are never healthy,” Elise said. “You’re the only one of us who’s had any success in that area.” Corey had been with his girlfriend for two years, and their relationship seemed surprisingly normal. Given their upbringing, Brit’s messed-up love life was probably to be expected.
There was a long silence. Corey was probably waiting for her to talk about her own love life, but she had no intention of doing that. It wasn’t like there was much to talk about anyway.
“Well.” He cleared his throat. “No matter how much…umm…experience you have, you know Brit’s relationship is a mess.”
“Yes.”
“This is sister talk, don’t you think? Any advice should come from you.”
“So you get off easy? Or do you get to beat the snot out of this guy?”
Corey smiled and shrugged.
“Talking to her won’t do any good,” Elise said. “I tried once, a long time ago. Not with the last guy, but the one before him. And you know what happened? The next week, he moved in with her. It was like my disapproval pushed them closer together.”
“But we have to do something.”
“Brit has to do something. But you’re welcome to try. Just don’t land yourself in jail.”
He sighed and sipped at his coffee, and she was struck by the resemblance between him and the lone picture they had of their deadbeat father. Same blond hair, same narrow face, same nose. And as of recently, same goatee. Brit looked more like their mother, and Elise barely looked like she was related to any of them. But her brother and sister were the only family she had, and she loved them to pieces.
“I noticed a pair of skates by the door,” Corey said. “You learning?”
“Yeah. Very slowly, but I don’t quite fall every minute anymore. I was about to head out when you came.”
He started to get up. “Don’t let me keep you.”
“No, no.” She laid a hand on his wrist. “I’ve been every day this week. My body could use a break from the bruising.”
“Wow.” He whistled. “You sure are keen.”
“I’m going to Ottawa this weekend. I want to get in lots of practice before I tackle the canal.”
“Who are you going with?”
“A friend.”
“A friend?”
“I have friends.”
“I know you do. But you don’t usually go out of town with them.”
Elise got up and busied herself with pouring another cup of coffee. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed her brother stroking his stupid goatee.
“I think you need to shave,” she said, partly to change the subject, but also because she really thought he looked better clean-shaven.
“Does this friend happen to be a guy?” he asked.
“Perhaps. Perhaps we’re going to Ottawa to have crazy monkey sex.” And she hoped there was some truth to that statement, but she’d said it mostly to freak out Corey so he’d talk about something else.
“You don’t like the beard?” he said, stroking it again.
“Can’t say I do.”
Elise returned to the kitchen table, but her brain wasn’t fully present in the conversation anymore. It was off having crazy monkey sex with Zach, like it had been for much of the week.
»»•««
After Corey left, Elise filled the sink with soapy water and started on the dishes she’d been neglecting. With all the time she’d been spending at the rink, she was a bit behind in her chores. And she washed only two plates and one bowl before deciding dishes could wait a few more minutes.
She went to her bedroom and closed the door—not really necessary since she lived alone, but a habit was a habit. She leaned against the wall, hurriedly unbuttoned her jeans, and slid a hand inside her panties.
Ohhh. Elise groaned and closed her eyes. Pictured Zach pressing against her, the heat and strength of his body. The solid muscle of his arms around her. The scrape of his stubble against her neck…
She pushed two fingers inside her body. They went easily, wet as she was thinking of Zach. With her other hand, she grabbed her breasts. Kneaded them. Played with her nipples.
When she was breathing unsteadily, now thinking of what he would look like without any clothes—the ripple of his muscles, the hair covering his chest, his hard cock… When she was thinking about that, she pulled off her jeans and underwear and sat on her bed.
She couldn’t wait for that night alone with him in the hotel. He’d called her yesterday, told her he’d made a reservation. Good. She’d been a bit worried he was going to back out, try to preserve her innocence or some such bullshit. He seemed to think that, as much as he wanted it, this was the wrong thing to do.
But it couldn’t be. She’d never wanted a man quite like she wanted Zach, and she was convinced he’d show her the kind of crazy night she’d never had. And that, even if it didn’t go anywhere, had to be the right thing.
She slid up against the headboard and took her vibrator out of the night table. She squirmed as she rubbed it around her entrance. When she shifted the toy to her clit and turned it on, she closed her eyes and imagined Zach licking her. Oh, yes. She wanted his tongue on her, just as much as she wanted his cock, his hands holding her open so he could feast on her and drive her mad. And then, once she was begging him for release, he would slide inside her, filling her to the brink. And when he started to move, deep within her…
Elise pushed the toy inside her body. She moved it in and out, faster and faster. His hard body against hers, his hand slipping between her legs to rub her clit, overwhelming her with sensation… She released a shuddering breath as her orgasm overtook her, bringing her up, up, up.
Afterward, she wrapped her arms around her chest and pretended he was holding her. She hadn’t felt at all pathetic for masturbating and thinking of Zach, but this, this she felt pathetic for. Holding herself and pretending it was a guy who said all he’d give her was a little sex? Yeah, that was pretty fucking pathetic.
She did believe he was capable of more. With the right woman. She wasn’t confident enough to believe she was definitely the right woman, but maybe she was.