Chapter Twelve

On a warm Friday night in mid-July, Liz waited at a table in a new Mexican restaurant in town for her sisters and mother to show up. It had been three weeks since Grant and her getaway weekend. Three weeks where it seemed everything had changed.

She felt that for the first time, they were a real couple. They had coffee together every morning, shared their days over dinner, and made love into the night. They watched news commentary shows and binge-watched her favorite Netflix historical series. They’d gone together to the pet store to make official tags and buy a cute collar for Gizmo.

Grant still hadn’t been called back into the field, but his documentary was nearly finished and his imminent departure hung over them like a rain cloud in an otherwise perfect sky. She didn’t know what was going to happen, but they’d come so far she felt certain they had a future together. She was that confident.

Tonight, the time had come. She was going to be honest and tell her mom and sisters about Grant. And about how she was so, so happy. About how she was in love with him.

Grant had encouraged her to come clean and confide in her family, and she was finally ready to.

She pressed her hand over her heart. She’d never felt this way before, not even in Nairobi. They still had a lot to figure out but they would do it, because she knew he felt the same way she did. She saw it in his eyes, felt it in the way he touched her.

Finally, finally, things were going her way, and she couldn’t wait to share that with her family. There was just one small worry. She was a few days late for her period. Just a few. Like four. Not even a worry, really, she told herself, except that in general, she was regular as clockwork. So far she’d managed to put it out of her mind. But it kept popping up again, tugging at her mind, like a leak in a hose when you try to kink one end off.

She knew the odds were great that she wasn’t pregnant, that the fertility drug she’d taken before her procedure had probably just put her cycle off a bit.

Being pregnant would be damn near impossible. The great irony hit her. As much as she wanted a baby, as much as she wanted to be pregnant, she wanted it with him—as a real father, not one in name only. Even as she thought it, she knew he wasn’t ready. Hell, they couldn’t even manage to discuss how they were going to handle their relationship once he left.

It had been one thing when he was an anonymous donor, ready to jump ship any day and never return. So much had changed since then. Surely a baby wouldn’t come now and upset this precarious balance.

She looked up and saw her mother waving, the first to arrive. Her mom kissed her and sat down. They were on an outdoor patio strung with multicolored lights. A mariachi band played in the corner. The sun was setting on a perfect summer evening.

“Where are your sisters?” her mother asked, looking around the crowd.

“Maddie got tied up at work, but she’s picking Cat up now.”

“Well, good. That gives us a few minutes to talk.” The waiter came by and asked if they wanted margaritas.

Her mom ordered a pomegranate one. Liz asked for a virgin one, ignoring her mother’s raised brow. Her mother reached out her hand and placed it lightly over her daughter’s. “Sweetheart, I can’t help feeling you look…different.”

Oh God. If her mother told her she was glowing she would just lose it. There was no such thing as a pregnancy glow. Was there?

Liz held out her arms. “I’ve actually been outdoors a lot more. I got some sun from being at the beach a few weeks ago and we’ve been riding bikes on the bike paths. And Grant’s been making me work in that damn garden of his.”

“It’s not the tan.” Her mother was giving her that look, the kind that said don’t even try to hide anything from me, because I will find out. “You look…happy.”

Liz laughed. “I am happy, Mom. Really happy. I haven’t been for a long time.” She teared up and, embarrassed, swiped quickly at her eyes.

“You love him?” her mother asked.

She nodded.

“Have you told him that?” she asked.

“We haven’t talked about the future. In fact, I’d say we’re doing a great job avoiding it.” And what if there was a baby, what if she was pregnant…no. She wasn’t going there. Couldn’t go there.

“I see.” There was a lot in those two little words that only a mother could put in. And only a daughter could interpret. Worry, concern, skepticism. Maybe some optimism, Liz couldn’t tell that one for sure.

“Mom, I know you think he’s not the type to settle down, but I think he can be. He loves to fix things around the house and work in the garden, and he cooks…” And he’s kind to animals. And to me. And he’s the sexiest man I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Oh God, she was in trouble.

She couldn’t seem to stop spilling her guts to her mom. “He’s never lived in one place for any amount of time. His parents died tragically when he was young.”

“Yes, everyone remembers Grant’s parents. Plus, he has a very demanding and dangerous job. When’s he going back?”

“Any day now. Look, Mom, I never knew what love was with Parker. We’d known each other so long, and I think both of us just sort of…settled. I don’t feel that way with Grant.”

“You’re about the only one who hasn’t forgiven yourself for your divorce. The rest of us don’t even think about it anymore. I’m glad you found someone who makes you feel the way a good man should make a woman feel, sweetheart.”

“I can talk to him about anything. He understands what it’s like to have a demanding job, but he also understands that when you work hard, you have to play hard, too. He’s opened up my life to all kinds of possibilities.” Like new furniture. And taking time to enjoy life. The vegetarian thing…well, she’d have to work on that.

“I believe you’ve learned a lot since Parker, and I agree with you, Grant seems to be a different kind of man. I just don’t want to see you hurt again, honey.”

“How did you know things were right with Dad?”

She sighed. “I didn’t. It was a complete leap of faith.”

“What do you mean? You two really love each other. I mean, it’s what we all want, the kind of love you and Dad have.”

“It’s hard earned. Elizabeth, I’ve never told you this, but maybe I should have a long time ago. I was pregnant when we got married.”

“But Derrick wasn’t born until…wait. There was another baby?”

“I miscarried. I never said anything because…I don’t know. I never wanted to revisit that pain. And when you were growing up, I didn’t want to open that can of worms that we’d married in haste, and make you kids wonder if it was for the wrong reasons. We always tried to be a good example, your father and I. But now maybe you need to hear that things are never perfect.

“The point is, marriage is a leap of faith. We leap through all our scars and wounds and fears and inadequacies to take an incredible journey with another person. Sustained by love and luck and lots of prayers.”

Liz was speechless. So her mom and dad didn’t always have it so together?

“The point is, there’s no such thing as perfect,” her mom said.

“Thanks for sharing that with me,” Liz finally said, squeezing her hand. She’d needed to hear that even a great marriage like her parents’ took a lot of work. But would Grant ever be able to take a similar risk?

She didn’t have much more time to think about it, because her sisters arrived and soon they were all chatting and talking and eating.

“The rug came in for the nursery and we hung all the stuff on the walls,” Maddie said. “And, Mom, I think I got all the layette items, but I wondered if you’d come out shopping with me one more time.”

“What’s been going on with you, Liz?” Cat asked after a while. “Work getting any better?”

“Paula’s still giving Brett and me a hard time. But I’ve taken a little more time off and I feel better.”

“Well, you look amazing,” Cat said.

“I bought some furniture. And the tomatoes we’ve grown in Dottie’s garden are this big.” She formed her thumb and forefinger into the shape of an O.

“Oh my God,” Maddie said. “Who are you, and where have you put our sister?”

Despite all the fun and chatter, Liz found she was still obsessing about her period. So when she went to the bathroom with her sisters, she debated mentioning it. But every time she thought she could, she hesitated. She knew they’d keep anything she told them quiet, but she was a little terrified to tell them. And also terrified not to.

“Is something wrong?” Cat asked.

“What makes you say that?” Liz asked, looking at her sisters in the mirror as she washed her hands.

“Because you’re either very chatty or very quiet tonight. Why don’t you just have out with it?” Maddie said over the noise of the hand dryer.

“My period’s a few days late. It’s probably nothing. I didn’t want to say anything in front of Mom.”

Cat stopped washing her hands. Maddie waited until the dryer shut off.

“I haven’t said much lately, but you both know I’d love to have a baby. I even thought for a while I could do it on my own. But with my endometriosis, it probably isn’t even possible to get pregnant the natural way.”

“But is it—is it a possibility, Liz?” Cat asked.

“Yes, but I’ve been checked. I’ve had tests. My doctors said it would be very difficult to conceive naturally.”

“No, what I mean is, you have been using birth control, haven’t you?” Cat asked.

Oh, how to answer that. That was a complicated question with an even more complicated answer.

“Oh, Liz,” Maddie said.

Liz blushed. Nothing like being an OB doctor chastised by your siblings.

“Maybe you surprised all the experts,” Cat said kind of cheerily. “I can drive you home, and on the way we can stop by the pharmacy for a pregnancy test.”

“How do you think Grant’s going to take this?” Maddie asked.

“I’m probably just a little late. I don’t want to jump to conclusions yet.” But Liz’s stomach churned sickly. Grant would be a wonderful parent, she had no doubt. But he’d said numerous times he wasn’t cut out for that. It was one thing agreeing to be a sperm donor, but it was a whole other thing to be someone’s father.

…

Liz walked into her house later that night to find Grant showered and shaving, Gizmo at his feet looking up at him adoringly. The cool, mentholated scent of his shaving cream soothed her roiling stomach and her jangled nerves. Plus, he looked really hot.

“I love it when hot guys shave in my bathroom.” Not just any hot guy. Her hot guy. What could be better? She kissed him on his bare back, because the front of him was clearly preoccupied, and sat down on the toilet to watch him. Her dog immediately came over and nudged his cool nose into her hand until she loved him up, too.

“Hi,” Grant said, rinsing off his shaver and flashing her a shaving cream-surrounded smile. “How was dinner with the girls?”

“Fun. I’m glad I went.”

“Nick, Preston, and Derrick are picking me up in a few.”

“Oh, why’s that?” she asked, pleased that the guys liked Grant and thought to include him in some activity. Except it was Friday night. Oh God. She knew what that meant, and it wasn’t good.

“Well, we figured if you women could have ladies’ night, we could have a guys’ version.”

“Grant, don’t go,” she said immediately.

He wiped his face with a towel and looked at her like she was crazy. “Why would I not go?”

“It’s a test. They’re going to get you drunk.”

He laughed. “Look at me.” He waved an arm over himself. “Do I look like the kind of man intimidated by alcohol? I can hold my own.”

Yes, yes, he was perfect, sculpted, strong. The best eye candy ever, but that was beside the point. She knew her brother and brothers-in-law. “I’m sure you can, but—”

He frowned. “Why would they be testing me?”

“It’s a right of initiation.”

“Into what, a cult?”

She laughed. “Into their inner circle. You’ve been hanging around a lot and they’re going to see if—if you’re worthy.”

Grant laughed. “Oh, so I’m drinking for your honor. I see.”

“Just have some sense, okay?”

He grabbed her and kissed her, then looked her up and down. “As far as you’re concerned, I don’t seem to have much of that. You drive me crazy.”

Her heart skittered as she got caught up in his embrace, his big arms wrapping around her. “In a good way, I hope.”

“A very good way. In fact, I could skip going out. We could hang out…do stuff.” His words were innocent, but his eyes flashed with a hunger that sent her pulse skittering.

“I might have a few minutes right now,” she said. “If you’re interested, that is.”

“Oh, I’m interested.” He pulled her against him and squeezed her ass. Nuzzled his now-smooth face against her neck and planted kisses there. She was just pulling him into the bedroom when the doorbell rang.

“We’ll continue this later,” he said. “I know you’ll be quite lonesome without me.”

She brushed a wayward lock of hair off his forehead. “Have fun and don’t worry about me. I’ve got plenty to do.” Like take a pregnancy test. Oh God.

Liz greeted the guys at the door while Grant finished dressing and tried to give them the same warning, but of course it fell on deaf ears.

“We’ll take good care of him,” Nick said. “Don’t worry, Doc.”

“Worry, Doc,” Preston said with a wink.

“Bye, sis. Don’t wait up for us,” Derrick said. Grant ran down the stairs, grabbed her by the shoulders and planted a firm kiss on her lips, then ran out the door.

As Liz stood there with Giz and watched him walk down the gravel drive with the guys, her heart twisted. Everything was going so perfectly, so much so that she ached all over with a happiness she thought she’d never experience.

In their weeks together, Grant had loosened up. He laughed, joked around, and was playful and funny in ways she’d never seen in him before. Her family liked him. A lot. Things were falling into place in ways she would never have imagined possible.

As she watched him pile into a car and give her a last wave, she couldn’t help thinking that a man like him didn’t suddenly change from a jet-setting, world-class reporter to one who’d spend his time sipping iced tea in a rocking chair on a big old southern front porch. Her life didn’t ever operate on a happiness principle for very long. Part of her believed it was all too good to be true.

When was she going to wake up and discover it was all a dream?