Lainie could hardly wait to finish her evening chores, slip away from the house and head to the cabin where Drew was staying. And she suspected that he felt that same eagerness.
Several times during dinner she’d caught him gazing at her so intensely that it seemed as if he was looking beyond her outward appearance and into her very heart and soul. It had been a little unraveling, but in a good way.
He didn’t know about the scar yet, but she planned to tell him about it tonight.
She ought to be nervous about that, but she wasn’t. She’d come to realize Drew was special. A flood of warmth had filled her chest when she saw him with Andre today, when she’d observed the kindness he’d shown, the sensitivity. She’d nearly melted when she’d watched him slow his steps so the limping boy could keep up with him.
And that’s when she’d lowered her guard and finally faced what she was really feeling for him.
They would work on his blog tonight, but they’d also have a heart-to-heart talk. No more secrets. No surprises.
Besides, Lainie’s congenital heart defect had been corrected years ago. And that scar was her badge of courage, as one of the nurses in the pediatric intensive care unit had told her.
She’d have to tap into that bravery while she waited for his reaction to her revelation like a timid little girl being wheeled into the operating room to face the unknown. Would he accept or reject her?
Shame on him if he didn’t, yet her heart swelled with hope. She’d come to care deeply for Drew. She might even love him. At least, that’s what she’d imagined love might feel like. And if he gave her any reason to believe he felt the same way, she’d come out and tell him to his face.
Once Lainie had washed the dishes and put them away, she blew out a ragged sigh, then glanced at the clock on the wall, ticking out the minutes until she could see him again. It was nearing showtime. So she returned to her bedroom to freshen up—and pull out all the stops.
As she stood in front of the bathroom mirror, she ran a brush through her hair and let the curls tumble down her shoulders the way they used to. She’d gotten tired of hiding her looks, her identity.
Heck, she might even tell him about that fiasco with Craig. That way, in case he ever heard about it, he’d know the truth.
After reapplying her lipstick and mascara, she used a little blush, although she probably wouldn’t need it. Excitement and nervous anticipation were sure to paint her cheeks a warm, rosy hue.
Before leaving for Drew’s cabin, she took one last look in the mirror. She wanted to put her best foot forward before knocking on his door tonight.
Pleased by the familiar image looking back at her, she said, “This is it.”
Now was the time to let Drew know who she really was. And to find out if he would accept the real Lainie.
After eating dinner in the kitchen with the ranch hands, Drew returned to his cabin to get ready for Lainie. He was excited about her visit—and not just because he wanted her help on writing up his interviews.
Something told him that tonight was going to be special, and that he should be prepared for anything. So he’d taken a shower, slipped into a clean pair of worn jeans and put on a Texas A & M polo shirt. Once an Aggie, always an Aggie. Right?
His hair was still damp when he sat down at the dinette table, his makeshift home office, and booted up his laptop. He may as well set the scene so Lainie would think that work was the only thing he had on his mind, but his hormones had already caused his thoughts to stray in a sexual direction.
He wished he could offer her a glass of wine or a cold bottle of beer. All he had to drink was coffee or soda pop, which would have to do. But an adult beverage would be a lot more conducive to romance.
Then again, so was a sugar cookie.
And a broken tailgate.
He’d just logged on to the internet when an online call from his sister came through. The last time they’d talked, Kara had insisted that she was doing well. Hopefully, that was still the case.
“Hey,” he said, once they connected. “What’s up?”
“Not much. Just the same old, same old. But I’m hanging in there.”
He could see her stretched out on her bed, where several big, fluffy pillows propped up her head. She appeared to be a little pale, but maybe it was just the lighting.
“When’s your next doctor visit?” he asked.
“I see her on Monday. Since I’ve made it another week, she might let me start moving around again.”
“I don’t blame you for wanting to get out of bed. You’ve been housebound for so long.”
“Yeah, I know. Who’d think going to an obstetrical visit would be something to celebrate?”
He laughed. “Not me. How’s that woman I hired to help you working out?”
“She’s great. She sits with me during the day and keeps me company. We’re watching entire seasons of Downton Abbey.”
Drew’d pass on that. “And how’s her cooking?”
“The best mac and cheese this side of the Mississippi.”
“Don’t get fat.”
She patted her tummy. “Ha, ha.” Then her expression turned a little more serious. “How’s life on the Rocking Chair Ranch?”
“Not bad. A couple of the retired cowboys are a real hoot. And all of them are pretty cool, with interesting pasts.”
“Have you started writing the blog?”
“Yeah, but it’s still just a draft. I’ve asked a woman who lives here to edit them for me.”
Kara readjusted herself in bed. “Who is she?”
“Her name is Lainie. She’s filling in temporarily for the ranch cook. She’s a nice woman, and she’s talked me into helping her plan a Christmas party.”
“Hmm.” A slow smile stretched across Kara’s lips, providing a little color to her face. “Do I sense a little romance in the air?”
A zing hit his stomach. “No, but I have to admit, the thought has crossed my mind.” Drew glanced at the clock on the microwave. Maybe he ought to end his call before Lainie arrived. His sister was more than a little nosy and could be pushy at times.
Then again, he could always introduce them. What would it hurt?
He was still pondering a decision when a knock sounded at the door. He didn’t have to open it to know who’d arrived.
Aw, what the heck. Why not?
“Hang on, Kara. She’s here now.”
“Ooh. You mean I get to meet her? That’s cool. You usually keep the women you date at a distance.”
“Just from you.” He scooted his chair back and got to his feet. “And just so you know, we’re not dating. Not yet, anyway.”
He heard Kara laugh in the background as he answered the door and let Lainie inside.
Damn, she looked good tonight. She was dressed to kill in a pair of sleek black slacks and a white blouse. And that hair? A man could get lost in soft, flowing curls like that. She’d freshened her lipstick, too. Red this time.
Clearly, Drew wasn’t the only one who had romance on the mind, and it took every ounce of self-control not to welcome her with a heartfelt, hormone-driven kiss.
“Are you going to invite me in?” she asked.
“Sorry. Of course.” His tongue tripped over the words, and he stepped aside.
Again, he regretted that he didn’t have anything to offer her stronger than root beer or an after-the-lovin’ midnight snack.
As they crossed the small living area to the laptop, he said, “You’re just in time to meet my sister.”
Lainie scanned the interior of the tiny cabin, which was obviously empty, and her brow creased.
“She’s not actually here. She’s online—I’m talking to her now.” He led her to the laptop, where his sister waited on the screen. A smile tugged at his lips. Kara had been right. He’d always kept his relationships private and hadn’t introduced her to any of his lovers in the past. But Lainie was different. Maybe he did have a domestic side he’d kept hidden.
“Kara,” he said, waiting to witness their first interaction. “This is Lainie.”
Drew wasn’t sure what he’d expected, but certainly not his sister’s strangled gasp.
He shot a glance at Lainie, who’d slapped her hand to her throat and recoiled as if she’d just spotted another mouse in the cabin. No, worse than that.
“What in the hell is she doing with you?” Kara asked.
Drew didn’t understand. He glanced first at his startled sister on the screen, then at Lainie, her eyes wide, the color fading from her face.
“I’m sorry,” Lainie said. “I had no idea...”
“About what?” Drew was at a loss. What was happening?
He looked back at the screen to see Kara sitting up in bed, no longer resting her head on a pile of pillows, her finger raised and shaking. “Oh, my God, Drew. I don’t believe it. You’re dating the woman who broke up my marriage.”
“Lainie? No way.” He’d seen the brunette in question—or rather, her image when that bar scene video had gone viral. Her hair was the same color, and her curls bounced along her shoulders when she strode away from the restaurant confrontation in a huff.
But now that he thought about it, their faces were similar. Especially with Lainie’s red lipstick.
“I have no idea what’s going on,” Drew told his sister. “But I’ll get to the bottom of this. And when I do, I’ll call you back.”
Drew disconnected the call, turned to Lainie and folded his arms across his chest. “I don’t understand. Who are you? And what’s my sister talking about?”
“I can explain,” Lainie said. “I did date Craig, but not very long. And just so you know, I haven’t seen him since that awful day at the hotel.”
Dammit. “You’re Elena?”
“Yes, but I can explain.”
No wonder she’d seemed familiar to him. And now he was looking at the woman who’d slept with Craig, destroyed his and Kara Lee’s marriage and nearly caused his sister to lose her baby. Apparently, he’d been wrong about Lainie or Elena or whatever her name really was.
“Go ahead.” His eyes narrowed. “I’m listening.”
“I had no idea Craig was married,” she said. “I didn’t even know who he was—I don’t follow the rodeo circuit. He lied to me and led me on.”
Drew’s stomach twisted into a knot. Craig was an ass, that’s for sure. But the whole idea sickened him. Damn. He’d almost gotten involved with a woman his ex-brother-in-law had slept with.
And worse, just seeing Lainie at the cabin with Drew was going to kill his sister. Hell, it was bothering the crap out of him just to think about it.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Lainie said. “There’s no way I would have gone out with Craig if I’d known he was married.”
“I can’t buy that. How could a journalist be so naïve? That is, if you actually are a journalist.”
“Now that—” she stabbed her finger at him “—is insulting.”
“You can’t be a very good one if you didn’t figure out Craig was married. He’s not a hermit. And practically everyone on the circuit knows Kara.”
She sucked in a breath. “I screwed up. Okay? I’m human.”
And one who was sexier than he’d ever seen her before. Just look at her all dolled up. Had she planned to come on to him tonight? And if so, for what purpose?
He raked his hand through his damp hair, stymied. Perplexed. Pissed.
“Apparently, you believe the worst about me,” Lainie said.
He didn’t want to. But maybe it was easier that way, to get angry and cut his losses before she inflicted even more pain on his family. Besides, he couldn’t very well choose between Lainie and Kara. And he damn sure couldn’t sleep with his ex-brother-in-law’s lover.
“Believe it or not,” Lainie said, “your sister wasn’t the only victim in all of this.”
Maybe so, but the only victim who really mattered right now was Kara.
“You should leave,” Drew said.
“No. Talk to me.”
How could he? “You’ve put me in an awkward position.” And an impossible one, it seemed. “Tell me something. Did you know Craig was my brother-in-law?”
“No, of course not. Do you think I’m scheming you or something?”
“Either that, or again, you’re a lousy journalist. If you had even an ounce of investigative chops, you would have found out about my family.”
Her expression went from angry to hurt, and she threw up her hands. “I give up. It isn’t worth it.” Then she turned on her heel and headed for the cabin door. Before reaching for the knob, she paused and turned back to him. “I hope your anger at me won’t stop you from helping Andre and the other children at Kidville.”
“I wouldn’t do that,” he said. “I intend to follow through on my commitment to get financial support for those kids.”
“That’s a relief. And for the record, I plan to make that Christmas party special—with or without your help. Those kids have had too many disappointments in life.”
She gave him only a beat to answer, but a flurry of emotion balled up in his throat, making it hard to speak, even if he could have found the words to say.
Then she let herself out, the door clicking shut behind her, severing what little connection they’d once had.
Drew flopped onto his bed and scrubbed his hands over his face. He should be relieved that she was gone, but an ache settled deep in his chest. Now what? He’d always been a fixer, but he didn’t have a clue how to clean up this mess.
A hodgepodge of emotion swirled around his heart like a Texas twister. Regret that his sister had been hurt. Disappointment that Lainie wasn’t the woman he’d thought she was. And worse yet, fear that she actually was that woman and that he couldn’t pursue her now. Not after she’d slept with Craig and had been involved in his sister’s divorce.
But he wouldn’t try to sort through his tangled up feelings when he had a phone call to make and a sister to calm. The last thing he needed right now was for Kara to go into premature labor again.
Tears streamed down Lainie’s cheeks as she marched across the yard and away from the cabin, but she was too crushed and disappointed to swipe them away. She’d been let down yet again by a man she’d once cared about. Only this time, it was different—worse. She’d allowed herself to become way too invested in Drew, when she should have known better than to take that risk.
On top of that, she was angry as hell. He’d not only considered her a floozy and a liar, which was bad enough, but he’d accused her of being a lousy journalist, the one thing she had pride in.
Sure, she should have done a background check on Craig. And on Kara. Heck, she should have done one on Drew, too. But was she supposed to dig into the lives of everyone she met?
“Ooh!” She had to walk off some of the built-up steam before entering the house. She circled the outside of the empty corral, trying to shake off her grief and come to grips with her emotions.
Drew had assumed the worst about her and wouldn’t let her explain. Gosh, you’d think he’d at least listen to her side of the story. After all they’d done together—the long talks, the visit to Kidville, the Christmas plans they’d made...
And what about the amazing kisses they’d shared?
Darn it. She’d actually begun to care about him, to believe he was different, that he was worth her affection. Given time, she might have fallen in love with him.
But who was she kidding? Her feelings for him bordered on love already, if she hadn’t actually taken a hard tumble into a romantic abyss.
Her heart ached, but as she circled the corral a second time, hurt gave way to anger. She wanted to lash out at someone. Anyone.
It was almost funny, though. In the past, she might have gone undercover or run away, like she’d done after that horrible confrontation with Craig’s wife—or rather, Drew’s sister—at the Houston hotel restaurant.
But Lainie wasn’t about to slip into old habits. She might have had a lousy childhood and faced some difficult hurdles, but she’d come a long way since then. That, in itself, demanded that she hold her head high from now on.
She was Elena “Lainie” Montoya, up-and-coming journalist. She was also “Dear Debbie” to Mr. Carlton. And from this day forward, she didn’t give a rip who knew her true identity or what she stood for.
And she’d no longer struggle with her outward appearance, either. She liked what she saw in the mirror and would embrace it, whether she chose to wear denim or silk, overalls or stilettos.
Lainie had a lot going for her. She was a recent college graduate with a bright, shiny future ahead of her. Someday she’d be an investigative reporter who would change the world, one story at a time.
Tired of circling the corral, she headed toward the barn. She paused near the buckboard, which was barely visible in the darkened yard. Her heart clenched as she looked at the grassy ground, where she’d been so swayed by Drew’s kiss that she’d nearly convinced herself that he was the guy she’d been waiting for all of her life. And that they could have something special together, but she’d better forget that crazy idea.
One day soon, she’d have it all—a successful career, a family of her own and a loving husband. She just hadn’t met him yet.
Feeling much better and back in control of her thoughts and emotions, she turned toward the house, but she wouldn’t go inside just yet. She wanted more time to suck in the cold ranch air, to remain in the shadows and form a game plan from this night forward.
She’d hardly taken a single breath when the mudroom door swung open, and Sully walked out.
“There you are,” Sully said. “I wondered where you ran off to.”
Lainie continued to stand outside the ring of the porch light, where Sully couldn’t detect any lingering moisture on her face.
“I just wanted a little fresh air and exercise,” she said. “Did you need to talk to me?”
“Only to tell you I’m going to Tennessee, but I plan to be back for the Christmas party.”
“Seriously?” Panic at the unexpected announcement laced her voice. “Why?”
“My brother’s in the hospital.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that. What’s wrong?”
“His ticker is giving him grief, but the doctors say he’s going to be okay. He wants to move to the Rocking Chair Ranch as soon as he’s discharged, but his family isn’t onboard. I plan to talk to them on his behalf, and then I’ll bring him back with me.”
“How long will you be gone?”
“A few days. You gonna miss me, sweetie?”
“Of course I will.” And on many levels. Lainie certainly understood why Sully had to go, but her next column was due before he could possibly return. “When are you leaving?”
“First thing in the morning. And way before breakfast, so I thought I’d better tell you goodbye now.”
How in the world was she going to be able to offer advice to the lovelorn without the wise old man’s help?
Worse yet, who was she going to confide in about her own heartache and disappointment?
“You look worried,” Sully said.
“Just about the party,” she lied. “The kids will be disappointed if Santa isn’t here.”
“Don’t worry, Lainie. I’ll be back at least three days before the party. You can count on me.”
Apparently, Sully was the only man she could count on, so she eased into the light emanating from the porch, swiping her eyes with the back of her hand and forcing a carefree grin.
As she continued forward to offer Sully a goodbye hug, he squinted and crunched his craggy brow. “Don’t you look pretty tonight. But are you crying?”
“No, I had something in my eye.”
“That better be all it is, because if one of those cowboys around here has hurt your feelings or toyed with your heart, he’ll hear from me.”
“Just a piece of straw or an eyelash. But it’s out now.” She embraced her sweet old friend, breathing in the faint scent of laundry soap on his green flannel shirt and catching a whiff of chocolate. “Did you get into the leftover brownies for another bedtime snack?”
“Don’t tell the nurses,” he said. “They think I’m getting fat.”
If Lainie’s heart hadn’t been so heavy, she might have laughed. Instead she smiled. “I won’t say a word about you raiding the kitchen to appease your sweet tooth. At least, not until after the party. I wouldn’t want the kids to see a skinny Santa.”
“No worries about that.” Sully chuckled. “And just so you know, I’ve been practicing. How’s this? Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.”
At that, Lainie did laugh. “It’s perfect.” Then she followed him into the house.
“I’d better turn in,” he said. “It’ll be time for me to head for the airport before you know it.”
And it would be time for Lainie to turn in that blasted column before she knew it, too.
Once inside her bedroom, she was tempted to crawl into bed and forget about her deadline until tomorrow. But the sooner she took a look at the latest batch of letters, the better off she’d be.
Interestingly enough, and right off the bat, she spotted a problem she could respond to.
Dear Debbie,
I’m so upset with my sister (I’ll call her Connie) that I can hardly see straight. We had a crappy childhood and grew up in a dysfunctional home. Since we only had each other, we’ve always been very close. But recently, Connie started dating this guy (I’ll call him Mike). I told Connie I didn’t like him, but she didn’t care. Now she spends every waking hour with him and doesn’t have time to go to lunch or a movie with me. We don’t even talk on the phone anymore.
Last night, Connie came home with an engagement ring. She announced that she was going to marry him in a couple of months and asked me to be her bridesmaid. I told her that was way too soon. She needs to get to know Mike better. I mean, he’s still in college and works as a barista at a local coffee place. So it’s not like she’s marrying a guy who can support her the minute they say “I do.”
We argued, and things got ugly. I refused to attend her wedding, so she told me she’d ask Mike’s sister to stand up with her. How’s that for loyalty?
I’m tempted to disown her—or whatever it is siblings do when they don’t want to be related anymore. But I’m not quite ready to do that. At least, not yet.
So here’s my question, Dear Debbie: How do I talk her out of marrying a guy she’s only known for three months? That’s not enough time for her to find out if he’s going to turn out to be a mean drunk like our father was. I’m only trying to protect her, but Connie doesn’t see it that way. How do I convince her she’s wrong?
Brokenhearted Sister
An answer came to Lainie right away, so she cranked up her laptop and got to work. The words flowed easily, and her advice was heartfelt and sound.
Apparently, she’d learned a lot from talking to Sully in the past, from listening to the way he reasoned things out.
For the first time, she’d responded to the writer as Elena Montoya, sharing things she’d never told anyone. She knew a thing or two about being hurt, about having people betray her. And, sadly, about betraying people herself, even if it had been completely unintentional.
But it felt good be authentic. To give advice from her heart. She just wished she’d been authentic with Drew, too.
Or course, it was too late for that. And maybe that was just as well. It was one thing sharing her heart and soul to a stranger and under the guise of Dear Debbie, and it was another to reopen old wounds and lay herself open and vulnerable to a man who’d broken her heart.
After shutting down her laptop, she walked over to the bedroom window and peered out into the night. She didn’t expect to see Drew’s cabin in the dark, but with the inside lights blazing, she spotted it right away.
Was he still awake? Was he working on the blog?
Or was he, like Lainie, mulling over what they might have had and lost?