Over the next couple days, Drew kept to himself, but by Friday, his niggle of guilt grew to a steady throb in the chest. He’d been wrong about Lainie, but he had no idea what to do about it.
He could tell her he was sorry, and she might accept his apology. But what about Kara? She wasn’t apt to be as understanding or forgiving. And if not, that would really complicate his life.
Before breakfast, Drew climbed into his pickup and drove several miles down the road to the mom-and-pop market, where some of the locals hung out to while away the time and shoot the breeze. Once he’d parked in front, he entered the store.
A tall, wiry clerk sitting behind the register looked up from the crossword puzzle he’d been working and smiled. “Howdy. Just let me know if I can help.”
Drew sniffed the warm air. “Is your coffee fresh?”
“Sure is.” The clerk got to his feet. “I just made a new pot. Can I get you a cup?”
“Yes, large. Black and to-go.”
“You got it. Want a donut to go with that?”
Why not? He hadn’t eaten breakfast. “Chocolate, if you have it.”
As the clerk took a disposable, heat-resistant cup from the stack and filled it, Drew asked, “Do you carry The Brighton Valley Gazette?”
“You bet.” The clerk pointed a long arm to the left of the register. “It’s a dollar.”
Drew retrieved the newspaper from the rack and returned to the register for his order. He paid with a twenty, pocketed his change and returned to his truck.
Instead of going back to the ranch, he settled in the cab, opened the small-town paper and searched for the Dear Debbie column.
There it was. Right next to the obituaries.
He took a sip of coffee, which hit the spot, then read the first of two letters. It was written by a woman who’d been taken in by a lying boyfriend. But it was Lainie’s response that drew his interest.
I know exactly how you feel. It’s painful to learn that a man you thought was Mr. Right lied to you—or even worse, that he doesn’t trust you. And if that’s the case, he’s not the hero you thought he was.
Lainie must be referring to Craig’s deceit, but Drew had hurt her, too. He was the one who hadn’t believed her. So he wasn’t feeling very heroic right now.
He continued to read the next letter. The writer was a woman who’d gotten angry with her family and, on principle alone, refused several of her sister’s attempts to make amends. Just as he’d done moments before, Drew focused on Lainie’s response, which was especially personal—and telling.
My own family was far from perfect. After my mom died, my sister and I were raised by an alcoholic father who couldn’t keep a job. Needless to say, life was far from easy.
Not long after my seventh birthday, my dad died in a bar fight, and my sister and I were placed in foster care. I’d been suffering from several medical problems that had never been addressed, one of which was life-threatening and required surgery, so the state stepped in and split us up. We ended up in different homes, and she was adopted. I haven’t seen her since.
Forgive me for not feeling very sympathetic to your anger or your plight. I lost the only family I had, and you’re willing to throw away yours. Please reconsider. Love and forgiveness are powerful gifts. But even more so to the person who offers them freely.
A pang of sympathy balled up in Drew’s chest. He grieved for the child Lainie had been, yet he admired the woman she’d become. How could he have forgotten the kindness she showed the retired cowboys or the compassion she had for Andre and his brothers?
He didn’t deserve a woman like her, but he wanted her in his life—if it wasn’t too late. Yet he didn’t move. He continued to sit in his pickup, staring at the newspaper in his hand without reading another word.
With each beat of his heart, he realized it wasn’t just admiration he felt for Lainie. He loved her. Somehow, he had to make things right with her. And between her and Kara, too.
So he started the engine and headed back to the ranch. When he arrived, he spotted an unfamiliar car parked in the yard and Lainie walking out onto the front porch, her curls softly tumbling along her shoulders. She wore a somber expression and carried both a suitcase and a purse.
Panic rose up from his gut, and he crossed the yard to meet her. “Where are you going?”
“Back to town.”
“What about the Rocking Chair Ranch? The men need you.” Drew needed her. “What about your job?”
She didn’t even blink. “I found a woman to cover for me until Joy gets home. I’ll be back for the party.”
Drew had no idea how to bridge the rift he’d created between them, but he had to give it his best shot. “Before you go, I want to apologize.”
She studied him for a moment, then gave a slight shrug. “Okay. You’re forgiven.”
So she said. But Drew couldn’t read an ounce of sincerity in her expression or in her tone. And he really didn’t blame her.
“Can we talk privately?” he asked. “It’s important.”
She continued to stand there, gripping the handle of her bag and clutching her purse. For a moment, he thought she was going to refuse. Not that he wouldn’t deserve it if she did.
He reached for her suitcase without actually taking it from her. “Please?”
She sucked in a deep breath, then slowly blew it out and handed him her bag. “All right. But just for a minute.”
He scanned the yard, spotting several ranch hands coming out of the barn and a couple of the old cowboys rocking on the porch. “Let’s go to my cabin. I’d rather not have an audience.”
She fell into step beside him as they crossed the yard to the cabin. Minutes later, he opened the front door ahead of her and waited for her to enter. Then he joined her in the small living area and set down her bag near the sofa.
“I’ve been a jerk. I assumed the worst about you, and in that sense, I didn’t treat you any better than Craig did.” When she didn’t object, he continued. “I’ve seen you with the elderly men, watched as you served them meals and laughed at their jokes. And I’ve seen you with Andre. You’ve got a good heart, and only a blind fool would’ve missed that.”
Her expression softened a tad, and she ran her hand through her glossy curls. “I told you that I forgave you.”
“Yes, but you really didn’t mean it then. Do you now?”
The corner of her lips quirked, revealing the hint of a smile. “Yes, I suppose I do. But it was more than just your distrust and lack of faith in me that hurt. You questioned my competency as a journalist, and...” She clamped her mouth shut as if having second thoughts about going into any more detail than that.
“Again,” he said, “I’m sorry. There’s so much about you that I admire. I’d really like to start over.”
Her brows knit together. “In what way?”
“It would be great if we could roll back the time to when you offered me that sugar cookie. Or when the wagon’s tailgate broke.”
She didn’t seem to see any humor in that suggestion.
“Let’s just start at an hour before that call with my sister the other night.”
“When we were in the kitchen?” she asked.
“Yes. If we were to start again there, I’d take you outside on the porch with me. Then I’d ask about your early years. And I would’ve really listened. I would have admitted that it broke my heart to think of you losing touch with your twin.”
A tear spilled down Lainie’s cheek, and she swiped it away with the back of her hand and sniffled. “Rickie was my only sister, my only family.”
The reason he’d wanted to backpedal was to introduce her to Kara in another way, a better one.
“I have a sister, too,” he said, “and she’s my only family. She’s pregnant and going through a divorce.”
Lainie blinked back her tears. “I didn’t realize Craig was...”
Drew placed his index finger on her lips to halt her explanation. “I believe you, Lainie. And I should have from day one.”
“It’s weird,” she said, her voice as soft as a whisper. “People think I went after him, but it’s the other way around. I’d been reluctant to date him at all. Looking back on it now, I realize that I’d always craved having someone to love, and he picked up on that need and used it to his advantage.”
“Craig’s a womanizer,” Drew said. “And apparently, he’s pretty damn good at it.”
Lainie shrugged. “I’d only met him two weeks before—at a coffee shop next to the office where I’d worked at a temp job after graduation. He picked up the tab, and we chatted awhile. I don’t normally talk to strangers, but when he told me he was nursing a broken heart and grieving a failed marriage, I felt sorry for him.
“When he asked me out the next day, I agreed to meet him for lunch at a nearby deli. He asked about my sun sign, which should have been my first clue that he was a player. But I went along with it and mentioned that my birthday was coming up. He surprised me by having a gift delivered to the office—a red dress and an invitation to meet him at Sterling Towers for a birthday dinner. I’m sure you know the rest.”
“Pretty much.”
“It rankles me now, but I went. But I wouldn’t have if I’d known what was going to unfold.”
“Kara found you together,” Drew supplied.
Lainie nodded. “She’d been crying, and she stormed to our booth and asked Craig what in the hell was going on. He told her, ‘Nothing,’ and called her ‘sweetie’ and insisted I was ‘nobody.’”
“I’d like to punch his lights out,” Drew said.
Lainie smiled. “For a moment, I thought your sister was going to do just that. Instead, she snatched the margarita I’d been drinking and splashed the rest of it in my face. I don’t know what stung worse, the icy cold on my skin, the humiliation or hearing Craig call me a ‘nobody.’”
Drew’s heart ached for Lainie. And for a lot of reasons—Craig’s deceit, Kara’s blame, the rumors that claimed Lainie was a villainess.
“Several diners held up their cell phones,” Lainie said, “recording the ugly scene. And before I knew it, I became the night’s social media entertainment.”
“I’ll explain all of this to my sister,” Drew said. “She’ll get over it. Eventually.”
“That’s okay,” Lainie said. “I doubt that she and I will ever see each other again.”
As a tear spilled over and trailed down her cheek, Drew brushed his thumb under her eye, wiping it away. Then he cupped her face with both hands and gazed at her. “Sure, you’ll see her. That is, if you’ll give me a chance to prove myself and go out with me.”
Drew was asking her out on a date?
Lainie hadn’t seen that coming. “Seriously?”
“You bet I am. My sister will get over blaming you, especially if I vouch for you.”
This conversation wasn’t at all what she’d expected. As she pondered his words and let them settle over her, she kept quiet.
Drew’s thumb made a slow circle on her cheek, singeing her skin. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Lainie. I never expected to. And now that I have, I’ve rethought the future I’d laid out for myself.”
To include her? She wasn’t about to make a leap like that. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Tell me you’ll let me show you that I’m a much better man than Craig.”
“You’ve already proven that a hundred times over.”
Drew brushed his lips against hers in a whisper-soft kiss that stole her breath away.
She was tempted to lean into him, to wrap her arms around him and let him take the lead, but she rallied. “First, before you say anything else, there’s something I need to tell you.”
His hands slipped from her jaw to her shoulders, but he didn’t remove his touch, didn’t remove his heated gaze. He didn’t even blink. “Fire away.”
He trusted her to lay everything on the line?
She sucked in a fortifying breath, then slowly let it out. “When I was a kid, I used to get tired doing the simplest things. But no one ever cared enough to worry about me or take me to the doctor. If they had, my congenital heart defect would have been diagnosed and corrected sooner. As it was, I didn’t have surgery until I was eight.”
“And that’s when you lost touch with your sister.”
She nodded. “It was a lonely, scary time. But don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful that the state stepped in because then a skilled pediatric surgeon made me healthy. Things were better after that, but I was still very much alone and would have given anything for someone to love. At least, someone special.”
“Has there ever been anyone special?”
“My college roommates, but we all went our separate ways. And there was one guy—for a little while. But he wasn’t the man I thought he was.”
“You mean Craig?”
“No, Craig was my second mistake. Right after I started college, I met a guy named Ryan and thought he might be ‘the one,’ but he wasn’t. I can see that now. He kept pressuring me to have sex, but I wasn’t ready. Then one night, I decided to give in, just to please him. But things never even got that far. It turned out badly, and we broke up.”
“You don’t have to talk about it—if you don’t want to.”
“I need to.” It was the lead-in to what she had to tell him. “After I removed my blouse, Ryan froze up. You see, I have a long, ugly scar that runs along my sternum from my open heart surgery, and he was turned off by it.”
“Oh, Lainie.” Drew pulled her into his arms, holding her in a way she’d never been held.
She leaned into him, savoring his clean, woodland scent, his warm, comforting arms. “You’re an amazing woman—beautiful, sweet, warmhearted. I don’t want you to freeze up on me, but I’m falling in love with you. And there’s nothing more I’d like than to take you to bed and show you just how much. But I’m a patient man. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready.”
Drew loved her? Could that be true?
She gently pushed against his chest, freeing herself from his embrace. “You haven’t seen that scar yet.”
“I don’t need to.” He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her long and deep. His tongue swept through her mouth, seeking and mating with hers until her knees nearly gave out.
She wanted to cling to him for the rest of her life, but she stopped the kiss before it was too late and took a step back. For once, she needed to let her head rule over her heart.
“Just so there aren’t any surprises...” She unbuttoned her blouse, slipped it off her shoulders and dropped it onto the sofa. Then she unhooked her yellow satin bra and pushed the straps off her shoulders.
As she tossed it aside and stood before him, baring her flaw, his breath hitched. But not in revulsion. His expression was heated, fully aroused with desire.
“Aw, Lainie. You’re beautiful.”
Her hand lifted to her collarbone, a habit she couldn’t seem to break, but he stopped her.
“Don’t.” He gently fingered the faded ridge, then bent his head and kissed the length of it. The warmth of his breath soothed her like a balm, healing the very heart of her.
He caressed the curve of her waist and along the slope of her hips, cherishing her with his touch, telling her without words that she mattered to him. Yet he was providing her with more than comfort, he was stirring her hormones and arousing her senses.
Her nipples hardened, and an ache settled deep in her core. When she thought she might die from pure sexual need, he pulled his lips from hers and rested his head against hers.
“I want to make love with you,” he said. “But I won’t press you until you’re sure about me. About us.”
She could hardly believe this was happening. “I’d like that, too. And to be honest, I’m ready now.”
“You have no idea how glad I am to hear that. But are you sure?”
“It scares me to say this, but I love you, Drew. More than I ever dreamed possible.”
He took her hand and led her across the small living area to the bedroom. “Is this your first time?”
She nodded. “I’m sure you’re probably used to women with more experience—”
He squeezed her hand. “That’s nothing to be sorry for. You’re giving me a gift. And it’s the best one I’ve ever had.”
He removed his shirt and pants, while she kicked off her shoes and peeled off her slacks. Then he drew her into his arms again and kissed her, caressing her and taunting her with his skilled touch.
Lainie took the time to explore his body, too. Her fingers skimmed his muscular chest, the broad width of his back.
Drew trailed kisses along her throat and down to her chest. Then he took a nipple in his mouth, suckling it, lavishing one breast then the other. She moaned, unable to stand much more of the amazing foreplay.
Before she melted to a puddle on the floor, Drew lifted her in his arms and placed her on top of the bed. He joined her, and they continued to kiss, to taste and stroke each other until Drew pulled back and braced himself up on his elbow. “This might hurt the first time.”
“I know. And it’s all right.” She’d been waiting for Drew—and for this—all of her life.
He entered her slowly at first, letting her get used to the feel of him, the feel of them, until he broke through. It stung, and her breath caught as she gave up her virginity, but her body soon responded to his, taking and giving. Loving and being loved.
As they reached a peak, she cried out, arched her back and let go. An amazing, earth-shattering climax set off an overwhelming burst of love and a sense of absolute completion.
When it was over, they lay still, basking in a sweet afterglow.
Moments later, Drew rolled to the side without letting her go. “It’ll be better next time.”
“I thought it was pretty amazing now.”
He brushed a loose strand of hair from her brow, then traced her scar with his finger, gently and almost reverently. “Don’t ever hide this again. Not from me or from anyone. It’s a part of the miracle of you. Without that surgery, you might not have been here to meet me, to love me.”
“You’re right. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it.”
“Me, too,” he said. “I never expected this to happen, but I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I want to marry you—but only when you’re ready.”
Her heart soared. Christmas had come early this year. For the first time ever, Lainie had a real future stretched out before her and the promise of the family she’d never thought she’d have.
Only it wasn’t that simple.
“I might have a deal breaker,” she said.
“What’s that?”
“I want to apply to be a foster parent so I can take Andre and his brothers. I don’t like the idea of them being separated. I realize the state might find me lacking. But I’m determined to do whatever it takes to get those kids into the same home—either mine or in another where someone will love and care for them.”
Drew slowly shook his head. She waited for his objection, but instead, one side of his mouth quirked in a crooked grin. “I have to admit that getting a wife and family in one fell swoop was never on my radar, but a lot’s changed since I met you.”
“You mean you’re up to being a foster dad?”
“I am if we’re in this thing together. Hell, maybe we can help find more foster families or adoptive parents in the area.”
Her breath caught and excitement built as the wheels began to churn in her mind. “We can create a blog, highlighting kids who need forever homes.”
Drew laughed. “Maybe we’ve found a higher calling than rodeos and advice columns.”
“That’s true. But my biggest and highest calling is you. I love you, Drew.” Then she kissed him, sealing those words the only way she knew how.
The Christmas party had been a huge success, and everyone seemed to have had a great time.
Joe and Chloe Martinez, the ranch owners, arrived earlier that morning and had been pleased at how Lainie had pulled things together in such a short period of time.
“I had a lot of help,” she’d told them.
Drew had purchased the tree, as well as the ornaments. And the retired cowboys had all pitched in to help him with the decorating.
Molly, Brad’s mother, had slipped away from Kidville several different evenings to help Lainie with the baking. They’d also wrapped all the presents and placed them under the tree.
Sully had returned a few days ago with his brother Homer, a happy-go-lucky fellow who seemed to fit right in with the other retired cowboys. As soon as Homer unpacked his things, he’d jumped right in to party mode, offering his help whenever needed. So Lainie had gladly put him to work.
While Homer made himself useful by decorating the tree, wrapping gifts and frosting sugar cookies, Sully practiced his ho-ho-ho to perfection. The wise old man was a natural Santa as he chatted with the children and passed out candy canes.
Lainie couldn’t believe how well the party turned out. Or how many great photo ops she’d had that day.
There’d been a few disappointments, though. Andre’s brothers had yet to arrive. And Kara, who’d been invited, hadn’t been able to come because she was still taking it easy. But she’d invited Drew and Lainie to her house to spend Christmas Day. Somehow, Drew had convinced Kara to give Lainie a chance. Lainie hoped they’d be able to get past the whole Craig fiasco, and Drew insisted they would.
Dark clouds had gathered all morning, and the rain began just before noon, so they’d canceled the hayride and rescheduled it for a warmer, drier day.
Now, as the party was coming to an end, the children sat amidst torn wrapping paper and open boxes, admiring their gifts and munching on cookies. Lainie was glad she’d been able to offer them a few hours of fun.
“Congratulations,” Drew said. “Things didn’t go exactly as planned, but from the looks on those little faces, the party’s been a huge success.”
“Thanks, but I couldn’t have done it without your help.”
When he slipped his arms around her, she leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder.
“I have a present for you,” Drew said.
“You didn’t have to do that.” Just having him in her life, sharing his bed and loving him was gift enough for her.
“I’ve been working on it for a week, and...” He glanced out the window and grinned. “Looks like it just arrived.”
Lainie wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but moments later a knock sounded at the door. Jim Hoffman, who’d been standing nearby, opened it for a petite woman and two small boys.
It had to be the social worker, along with Andre’s brothers. But why would Drew say he’d been working on getting them here all week? She’d been the one to invite them. “Come on in,” Jim said. “I’m glad you finally made it, Mrs. Tran.” Then he called out, “Andre. Look who’s here.”
The boy, who’d been reading his new cowboy book, broke into a happy smile and shrieked, “Mario! Abel!” He scrambled to his feet and hurried to the door, his limp hardly noticeable.
The boys greeted each other with hugs and kisses.
“That’s my present?” she asked Drew. “Looks like it’s Andre’s.”
“It’s the paperwork in Mrs. Tran’s folder that’s your gift,” he said.
Bewildered, Lainie cocked her head and looked at the man she loved. “I don’t understand.”
“Congratulations, foster mommy. It’s a boy. Actually, it’s three of them.”
Lainie’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding? They’re going to let me take them? I... Well, my little studio apartment is going to be cramped, but I’ll make it work. Somehow.”
“No need.” Drew reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper. “I just signed a lease for a three-bedroom house in Wexler. It’ll have to do for now.”
“You did that for me?”
“I did it for us. Kids need a daddy, too. Don’t you think?”
“Drew Madison, you’re amazing. Have I told you lately that I love you to the moon and stars?”
“Just this morning, but I’d like to hear it again.” He tossed her a dazzling smile.
“I plan to tell you every single morning and night for the rest of our lives.”
“I have one last gift for you,” Drew said.
“What more can you give me? My gosh, look at them. Their reunion is heartwarming. And so is their excitement.” She pointed to the tree, where the three adorable brothers gazed up at the twinkling lights in wide-eyed wonder. “This has been the best Christmas ever.”
“It’s just the first of many—and it’s not over yet.” Drew reached into his shirt pocket, withdrew a business card and handed it to her.
DISCREET SERVICES
Damon Wolfe, Owner
She studied it carefully. “What’s this?”
“The guy I hired to find Rickie.”
“But it was a closed adoption.”
“Damon is the best of the best. He told me to leave it to him. If Erica “Rickie” Montoya can be found, he’ll find her.”
She looked at him, her eyes glistening with tears. “I can’t believe this. Drew, this is the very best gift anyone could ever give me.”
He held her in his arms and kissed her again. “That’s nothing compared to the gift you are to me. Come on, honey. Let’s ask the Hoffmans to take a picture of us and the boys so we can have more than a memory of our first Christmas together.”
“Good idea.”
Lainie had always found the holidays to be depressing. But not any longer. She couldn’t wait to create more of her very own family memories from this day forward.
And next Christmas couldn’t come too soon.
Keep reading for an excerpt from A Wyoming Christmas to Remember by Melissa Senate.