Hana’s walk back to the staff units did little to assuage the unsettled feeling Logan’s words created. She walked carefully around the edge of the sports field, acknowledging Larry Collins’ continuing influence on the life of the school.
Knocking on the front door of her unit with a heavy heart, Hana was surprised to be greeted by Lucy, who stood back to reveal a scene of touching domestication. Tama set cutlery on the table and balanced Phoenix on his hip and it made Hana smile. “We cooked dinner,” Lucy said with enthusiasm as a chocolate covered Jas appeared from the small kitchen with a grin on his face.
“And you’ve been breeding children,” Hana said jokily, regretting it as Tama pouted.
“Definitely not!” he said prudishly. “They’re all yours!”
Lucy’s face gained a heated flush, mottling her delicate skin. “I’m a Christian; I don’t agree with sex before marriage,” she whispered.
Hana nodded. “Me too. Good on you.” She disguised her smirk with a cough, knowing God had an interesting sense of humour. Tama was the male version of a whore and seemed serious enough about Lucy to curb his habits. She sneaked a sideways look at the teenager, seeing only contentment. Perhaps boundaries with women were all he ever needed.
Lucy peered at Hana as though expecting her to say more. “I didn’t sleep with Logan until we were married,” Hana said, trying to inject solidarity into the situation as she dropped her boots onto the floor of the hall cupboard. Tama clattered a fork onto the table, making Phoenix jump and grizzle.
“Really?” he said, his face mischievous. “He kept that bloody quiet!”
Hana lifted her finger and pointed it at him, narrowing her eyes and cocking her head. “Don’t start!” she warned and Tama bit his lip.
“Sorry,” he said, a grin straining at the corners of his mouth. “But I guess it explains how you’re always...”
“Tama, thank you!” Hana said sharply and he smirked and went back to setting the table. In his confusion he handed the baby on his hip a metal spoon to play with.
“Yeah, I probably wouldn’t do that,” Hana suggested.
“She’s fine,” Tama argued, yelping as Phoenix whacked him on the chin and then banged herself on the forehead. Hana reached out to take her daughter and Phoenix did a fake cry and a smirk, launching forwards into her mother’s arms like a miniature drunkard. Hana decided to play along.
“Did your nasty bro’ hurt poor baby?” she said in a sickly, crooning voice and Tama looked momentarily annoyed until he realised she’d referred to him as Phoenix’s bro’ in front of Lucy. Then he felt included and soppy, looking so much like a big puppy it was endearing.
Hana decided not to help his cause any further, taking the baby to the bathroom for a quick wash in the sink. Jas came too and handed her things, watching as the baby splashed around in the water and Hana struggled to keep her sitting upright. Phoenix squealed and covered her small companion with soap bubbles, laughing when he patted them around his chin and tried to get her to say, “Bush Santa.”
“So where’s Mum and Dad?” Hana asked. Jas shrugged and didn’t look bothered at being abandoned in her house.
“I’ve got my rucksack with things I might need,” he said, “in case I stay the night.”
“Oh, nice,” Hana remarked with a smile, wondering where his parents thought she’d put him to bed.
“Let’s get you changed into your pyjamas before dinner,” she suggested. “I can fix a plastic bag over your cast and you can hop in the shower.”
“You’re not allowed to hop in the shower. Mummy says it’s dangerous.”
“Haha, funny guy,” Hana scoffed and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Come on, you get ready and I’ll find the bag.”
Jas’ new Action Man sat on the edge of the bath and watched the splashy process. “Can he come in?” Jas begged. “He loves it.”
“No!” Hana protested, brushing her daughter’s wispy hair. “He’ll get waterlogged like the last one.”
In the kitchen, Tama had produced a half decent dinner of spaghetti bolognese with copious amounts of cheese. They gathered around the tiny table to eat and Hana eyed Lucy’s plate with interest. Perhaps Tama thought his new girlfriend was too thin, dishing up Mount Kilimanjaro for her to summit. Hana remembered Miriam’s need to feed everyone and how it was the older woman’s way of showing love. She wondered if Lucy realised how much affection was on her plate.
“You gave me heaps,” Lucy gasped, her face shining under an unhealthy sheen of sweat. The mouthfuls seemed to get harder to press between her lips.
Jas beamed across the table at his grandmother, twirling his fork competently in the pasta for a one-armed-bandit. His fight with the chocolate spread hadn’t dented his appetite. “Why did the visitor drop the little parcel off?” Hana asked casually, careful not to make the little boy feel unwelcome.
“Huh?” Tama looked gormless and Hana shook her head in frustration.
“She means me,” Jas said, pointing to his clean pyjama shirt with a sauce covered spoon. “I’m the little parcel” He winked at Hana with an exaggerated motion involving his whole face and she flushed with embarrassment.
“You’re too clever for your own good,” she muttered and Jas grinned.
“Thanks, Hanny. That’s nice.”
“Oh, his dad dropped him off. Amy’s already at work but Bodie got called in. He’s gone to the boarding house.”
“Why?” Hana’s fork remained poised in mid-air.
“There’s a very naughty boy there.” Jas waved his spoon and flicked sauce backwards onto the wall. “He told lies and Dad’s gonna beat him up and lock him in the cells.”
Hana pulled a face. “I think you’ve got something a bit wrong there.”
“Nope.” Jas shook his head. “Daddy said it on the phone. He said the boy got seen in the naughty place so he’s gonna get him.”
“What boy?” Hana asked, her breathing quickening in fear. “Do you know his name?”
Jas shook his head. “Nope. Where’s Poppa?”
“He’s at work, sweetheart. And no, you can’t see him tonight.”
“He knows the boy,” Jas said, sticking his fork up his nose and wincing at the pain.
Hana’s chest felt tight and she resisted the urge to run across the field to the boarding house. Her altercation with Logan rose inside her like a spikey thing. She hated it when he wasn’t straight with her and it hit her in the guts like a body blow for being dumb enough to believe they were past that kind of closed behaviour.
In an attempt to distract herself, Hana made an unfortunate error of judgement. “I bumped into Anka today when I was with my dad,” she said, picking over her food but not making much progress. It was more interesting watching Lucy deal with her food mountain and Phoenix play with a string of spaghetti in her high chair. The baby wore a plastic bib like a strait jacket and Hana wondered if she should have offered Lucy the spare one. She seemed to be dropping her dinner down
“Thanks for that.” Tama visibly paled and Hana felt cruel, regretting mentioning her friend. When the silence grew embarrassing, Lucy interjected in a break from her one-woman-spaghetti-eating-competition.
“Sorry, who’s Anka?”
Tama’s cutlery hovered over his plate and even Phoenix stopped pushing the white worm around her tray in interest, fixing her grey eyes on her mother.
“She’s an old friend of mine,” Hana hedged, “I haven’t seen her for a while.”
“Why’s that?” asked Lucy, ever the policewoman.
Tama looked at Hana intently, making her suffer and self-destructing at the same time. Hana felt herself wither with humiliation. “Yeah Hana,” he said. “Why is that?”
She changed tack, trying to stop the moment getting out of hand and turning it back onto herself. “We had a fall out a year ago. Anka had an affair and it detonated her marriage. She hated on me because I tried to talk her out of it. Instead of sticking by her, I judged her. But I saw her today and I’ve missed her. I don’t have enough friends just to let them go because of a bad choice. I can’t say anything to punish her more than she has herself; Anka’s lost everything.”
Lucy stared at her spaghetti mountain and sighed. “My last boyfriend cheated on me,” she said sadly. “We were engaged for four years and he’d been seeing this other girl for two of them. It’s debilitating to be on the other end of it.”
Hana nodded. “I know. But people make mistakes and they’re all redeemable. I’m glad I’m friends with Anka again.”
Lucy didn’t look convinced. “It’s hard. He still goes to my church and it’s awkward. I don’t have anyone to sit with because our joint friends supported him.”
Hana patted Lucy’s hand, her face filled with understanding. Vik hadn’t been around after his affair but Hana knew it would have decimated their church.
“What’s an affair?” Jas piped up, his mouth full of pasta. Phoenix laughed at his face expression and he squeezed pasta through a gap in his teeth, sending her into hysterics. Hana shook her head slowly at him and gave him the face.
“What church do you attend?” Hana asked Lucy, hoping to move the conversation away from Anka and allow Tama to breathe normally again. She grabbed his hand under the table by way of apology but he didn’t respond, his fingers stiff and unyielding.
“Ships have anchors,” Jas said helpfully, “massive big fat ones. So does Popeye. He has anchor tattoos on his big, giantnormous arms.” He looked across at Phoenix, having a private conversation with her, “He goes raaaah like this when Bluto gets his Oliveoil and he eats the green stuff. It goes up his veins into his armpits to make a lump and he goes raaaah!” Jas bugged his eyes and flexed the spindly muscles on his good arm. Phoenix looked momentarily stunned and then realised he was doing the favourite face which Tama did. She screamed in delight and banged the tray of her high chair in glee, desperate for him to do it again. “Dad’s got Popeye arms under his uniform,” Jas said conversationally, “but his come popping up from Marmite, not green stuff.” He scratched his ear with his spoon, spreading sauce up the side of his face, his brain working out some complicated scenario. “Do you still do that green stuff in your pants?” he asked Phoenix, who nodded happily without coordination.
Hana watched in horror as Jas put his fork down and Action Man’s head appeared above the lip of the table. “That’s not spinach, Jas,” Hana warned. “Let’s not go there.”
“I go to the night services at The Zone,” Lucy said, “I like it there and don’t feel like changing when I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“If you’re planning on going tomorrow, I’ll come,” Hana offered. “I’ve been before and liked it. That’s if Logan or Tama will look after Phoenix.”
Tama looked Hana square in the eye. “Ask Uncle Logan to babysit. I’ll come to church.”
Hana cocked her head and stared at Tama with curiosity, trying to work out his motive. She narrowed her eyes and smirked, guessing he didn’t want her to be alone with Lucy in case she betrayed him again. “Right then,” Hana said, getting up to fetch her baby’s food bowl from the microwave, “that’s settled. Church tomorrow night at The Zone.”
“Right!” Tama replied, burying his fork back into his spaghetti, looking more sick than hungry.
An apologetic Amy collected Jas at ten o’clock that night, scraping him off Hana’s bed and grateful he was already in his pyjamas. Logan worked all day on Sunday and Hana avoided him, sensing he was up to something. He borrowed the Honda at lunchtime and brought it back late in the afternoon. He appeared around five-thirty looking tired and overwrought, his tie loose and his top button undone.
“Dinner’s in the microwave,” Hana said, pointing to a plate of food. “It needs heating.”
“Thanks, but I’m not hungry,” he replied and Hana shrugged.
“Whatever.”
Phoenix was fed, bathed and ready for bed, kicking her legs under the baby gym on the lounge rug. Tama appeared in his interview clothes and shiny shoes, ready to go to church and Logan gaped in surprise. “Who died?” he asked. “Have I missed a funeral?”
Hana smiled with approval and disappeared to the bedroom to shed her jeans, not wanting to make Tama look out of place. She reappeared in a pretty dress and her long black boots. “Where are you all going?” Logan asked, looking lost.
“Church,” Hana replied curtly. “Wanna come and confess some sins?” She said it jokily but Logan looked stung. Hana wished she could lose her voice for a short time until she learned to think about the things that came out of her mouth.
Sensing the fraught atmosphere, Tama went out to the car to start it up and wipe the gathering ice from the windscreen while Hana bent down for one last kiss from her baby. Phoenix squealed and puckered her lips, making Hana laugh. The air bubbles on her cheek were the best the child could manage.
Hana stood up and wiped the goo off but when she turned, she found her husband standing close. He held onto her forearms with an iron grip, his face impassive and frightening because of the complete lack of emotion there. “Hana,” he said seriously, “I don’t expect you to like all the decisions I make, but at least respect them. I know I said it didn’t matter but sometimes I just wish you’d trust me.” He leaned down and touched his lips tantalisingly to hers, disregarding the glossy lipstick. He made her heart melt and slide into her boots and she hated him for it. “Do you have to go?” he asked, his breath soft on her face and Hana fought the urge to fall into bed with him, losing herself in his embrace. Logan’s thumbs brushed sensuously along the delicate skin of her forearms. He knew exactly what he was doing to her.
Hana swallowed and nodded. “I promised.”
Logan nodded once, his fringe brushing Hana’s forehead and making her want to scream. He dropped her arms and stood back, allowing her room to pass. Hana felt conflicted and dithered on the spot in confusion, her heart vying for attention over her head.
“Go on, go,” Logan said gently and kissed her again, making it worse. He turned her round and with his hands on her shoulders, guided her towards the door and down the front steps. He waved once and shut the door as his wife climbed into the passenger seat next to Tama.
Hana felt a horrid emptiness begin in the pit of her stomach and touched the spot under her ribs.
“You don’t wanna go, do you?” Tama asked and Hana frowned.
“I try not to break my promises,” she said, sounding sulky.
“So what do they do at this place?” Tama said, looking for guidance.
“It’s like a school assembly, but bigger,” Hana said, trying to be helpful. “But from what I remember, it’s charismatic, so people move around more and put their arms up and stuff.” A horrid thought occurred to her. “You do what you want. Don’t feel like you have to copy other people. It’s an act of worship, not a line dancing class.” She had dreadful visions of Lucy going to the altar for prayer and finding Tama standing eagerly behind her. Church could be a traumatic experience for newcomers.
“So, it is like line dancing, or it isn’t?” Tama asked facetiously and Hana glared at him.
“I’m sorry for mentioning Anka. It just popped out because I’d seen her.”
“And because you’d had a bust-up with my uncle again,” Tama smirked. “You always take it out on everyone else.”
“No, I do not!” Hana replied, her voice hiking at the end of her sentence.
“Yes you do - like now. What did he say to set you off again?”
“Nothing!” Hana wailed, frustrated at what her reaction revealed. “He’s up to something and I can’t get it out of him.”
“Then trust him,” Tama replied, “it’s simple.”
Hana sulked all the way to church, fixing a plastic smile on her face as she went through the double doors. The well-intentioned person on the door was a ‘hugger,’ which was amusing from Hana’s point of view and terrifying from poor Tama’s. Not used to physical contact, the teenager looked unnerved by the woman who threw her arms around his neck and administered a meaty snog to the side of his cheek. Enthusiastic enough to suck him in, the woman’s actions brought laughter from between Hana’s lips. “You did well,” she sniggered, patting Tama on the back as he progressed through the entranceway towards the next obstacle wiping sweat from his brow.
The ‘shaker’ was a man given the job of shaking hands and handing out leaflets. He pumped Tama’s hand ardently and thanked him four times for coming. “Are you new here?” he said, his eyes glinting with the scent of fresh blood.
“We’re just visiting,” Hana said, giving Tama a hearty shove towards the seating area and snagging a leaflet as she dived past. “They mean well,” she hissed as they passed a group of young people.
“They’re scary!” Tama whined. “Are you sure they only want my soul?”
“Yeah, pretty much,” Hana sighed, wishing she felt less jaded. “But you did great, sweetheart. Logan would have left after the hugger but you kept going. Well done.”
“Logan would’ve left before the hugger!” Tama corrected her.
They found seats away from the gathered knots of people, greeted by well-meaning people along the way. Tama stared at Hana in surprise. “Do you know everyone in Hamilton?” he demanded.
“To be fair, I’ve been in Christian circles for a lot of years,” Hana replied. “Churches are like big washing machines; we go round and round and potentially come out cleaner.” Hana recognised signs that Tama felt overwhelmed and sheltered him as best as she could.
Their ineptitude at locating anyone in the dimly lit atmosphere meant Lucy had to find them. She sat alone in the back row looking sad and isolated until she spotted them further along. She waved to Hana as she and Tama screwed their heads round trying to find her. “There she is!” Hana said and nudged Tama. His expression became bashful.
“Thank you for coming,” Lucy gushed, hugging Hana and Tama in turn. His eyes grew round as Lucy’s enthusiasm mimicked that of the lady on the door and he glanced at her sideways. Hana shook her head at him and winked. “I didn’t know if you meant it,” Lucy said, raising her voice over the band’s first chords.
“I try not to say things I don’t mean,” Hana reassured her, Lucy’s enthusiasm making the journey out into the cold worthwhile.
Lucy sat between them as though seeking shelter and Hana noticed a group of young adults gathered in a row of seats in front. She watched as they whispered to each other, turning around and staring at Lucy and her guests. Hana felt anger prickle inside her chest at their rudeness, especially in a place designated as safe and when they turned again as one and stared in their direction, she lost her patience. “Hi!” she yelled at the top of her voice, just as the band paused between beautiful, melodic background songs. Hana eyeballed each one of the youths, communicating the reprimand through her wooden smile and flashing green eyes. She resembled a lunatic, waving frantically like a redheaded Barbie doll and the reaction was instant. The group faced the front like a choreographic move and resisted the urge to stare again. “Perhaps their consciences finally kicked in,” Hana whispered to Lucy. One could always hope.
Tama put his arm protectively around his new girlfriend and Hana flanked her other side. Between them they offered Du Rose solidarity. Tama didn’t seem freaked out by the worship which was loud and meaningful, but Hana felt chided by the message of the preacher. His style was different to Pastor Allen’s as he moved around the front of the church, forcing his audience to follow with their eyes and not fall asleep. He was energetic and controversial with a clear brief not to sugar coat his message. “We are all only one heartbeat away from eternity.”
Hana shouldn’t have needed reminding, but she did. Her first husband had gone to work one day and not returned and she knew everything existed by the grace of God. She prayed silently with honesty and self-awareness. If she was one heartbeat away from eternity, perhaps it was time to get her own life in order instead of meddling in everyone else’s. The preach was about making it right with God but convicted Hana at another level as she contemplated her spat with Logan. Life was too short and she ached to seek Logan’s forgiveness as well as her maker’s.
As they stood to sing the final hymn, it hit her with such clarity she sat down with a bump. Tama looked across at her in concern. He squatted in front of Lucy and whispered in Hana’s ear. “What’s up, Ma?”
Hana shook her head. “I’m fine but I know what Logan’s up to.”
At the end of the service, Tama handed her the car keys. “I’m going to an all-night cafe with Lucy and some of her nicer friends,” he said. “Will you be ok on your own?”
Hana nodded and kissed him on the cheek, hurrying home as fast as she dared without getting a speeding ticket. Taking a deep breath, she let herself into the unit, discovering Logan and her daughter laid on the lounge rug. Logan balanced on his side smiling at Phoenix, who kicked her legs beneath the baby gym. They both looked as Hana came in, kicked her boots off and sat on the sofa. “Hey.” Logan smiled at his wife. He looked gorgeous; his grey eyes surrounded by long black lashes were happy and his hair flopped forwards over his eyebrows. He lay on his side, resting his body on one elbow with his hand against the left side of his face. He glanced at Hana and flicked a dangling bear so it jiggled and Phoenix giggled.
“Listen,” he said with excitement. “Say it again, Phoe. Dada, dada.”
The little girl cooed and waved her arms and legs, beaming at her father. She pursed her rosebud lips and repeated his words, “Dadadadada!”
Hana laughed and clapped, biting her bottom lip with pleasure. “You’re so lucky!” she said to her husband and he beamed.
“I’ll teach her to say Mama too,” he promised.
Hana smiled. “She was always going to say Dada first,” she said generously. “She adores you.”
Phoenix grew tired of performing to order after a while and the novelty of her parents’ elation wore thin. She became fractious and Hana fed her to sleep, sitting on the sofa while Logan made a drink. He brought the mug of tea and sat next to his wife, gently massaging the baby’s tiny feet through the sleep suit as she drank and snoozed. “I’ve worked it out,” Hana said quietly, taking the mug. “Call it divine intervention.”
“I thought you might,” Logan replied and his wife showed her surprise, emerald eyes widening as she turned to face him.
“Why?”
Logan sighed and put both arms behind his head, leaning back against the seat. His shirt came up and showed his stomach and Hana resisted the urge to stroke the smooth olive skin beneath. “Because we agreed we’d be honest with each other and I don’t want to keep secrets. You’re an intelligent woman and I wanted you to work it out. But I needed to give you time to understand my reasons for acting as I have.”
Hana nodded once and felt a wave of sadness. One heartbeat away from eternity. “I’d have liked the chance to say goodbye,” she said and a glossy tear rolled down her cheek.
Logan put his arm around her. “No time. I needed to move him as soon as he’d done that last Level 3 assessment. He achieved Level 3 with Excellence based on internal assessments, without having to set foot in any of his exams. It had to be that way. That was the internal assessment he sat last week when I asked you to leave him alone. I organised it and my offsider in the department sat with him while he did it. I wanted to know he’d leave here with everything he needed. He’s got university entrance and can do whatever he needs to provide for his family.”
“But he’s a murderer,” Hana said. “How on earth can he live with that?”
“Firstly, James only thinks he’s a murderer, not that he’d listen to me and secondly it was self-defence. He was waiting for Matron to fetch the van to do the run to the doctors and saw Collins through the dining room window. He went to ask for that damn plane and they argued. Collins attacked him with the shovel and from what James says, the man was high and didn’t make sense. He prodded the boy with it but kept falling over. James said the man went mad, telling him he was a dirty immigrant and should go home. The boy snapped, grabbed the spade and jabbed Collins in the chest with the handle. He reckons Collins fell backwards straight into the trench.”
“So he covered the body and went off to the doctor’s about an infected toe?” Hana was incredulous. “He should have stayed and faced what he did. This will haunt him for the rest of his life. We don’t get to be judge and jury on stuff like this, Logan; it’s wrong!”
Logan shook his head. “Collins was moving around when James left. He was thrashing around trying to get out of the mud and yelling at James. The biology teacher did it, Hana, not the kid. The post-mortem said he was hit in the face by the metal end of the shovel and James is adamant he poked him in the chest with the handle. It doesn’t fit with a blunt force trauma to Collins’ face. Peterson did it and buried him. Would you rather James stayed here and waited it out while his family starved in a village in Korea, all their dreams of solvency gone? He was their last hope, Hana. I needed to give him a chance to start over somewhere else.”
“It’s not right,” Hana said. “I don’t know if I can live with this.”
“I know it doesn’t help,” Logan said gently, “but Collins sold dope to the older boys. He was pedalling it in school, not to the boarders thank goodness, but to the day boys. He ran a wholesale business from that shed by the tennis courts.”
Hana shook her head to clear her brain. “Why did nobody notice? And how did you get James out of the country? Bodie got called into work to go and see a student at the boarding house so the cops are looking for him.”
Logan frowned and Hana’s body tensed in anticipation. “Che helped me. His guys shipped James out through a back door. I gave him cash from the sale of my Triumph so it’s untraceable and away he went, to a new life and hopefully a good job.”
“Not Che!” Hana cried, disturbing Phoenix who splayed her arms in her sleep. “I thought you cut ties with the Triads!”
“I have,” Logan replied through gritted teeth. “But I needed him to do this. It’ll be fine.”
“No it won’t! You’ll owe Che now and what will he demand in return?”
“Nothing, Hana.” Logan smoothed his hand over her red curls. “Trust me.”
“But I’d have liked to see James first,” Hana maintained.
Logan interjected, “No, Hana! You’d have tried to convince him to do the right thing. He was terrified. It started that day in the office when you came over and he kept saying he wanted to go home. He was so odd it began unravelling then. I asked him about it and that night, Pete caught him trying to take an overdose of stuff; just a cocktail of crap. He was a mess.”
“Then he should have seen a doctor, a mental health worker and a pastor! Not a bunch of Triad henchmen,” Hana bit, feeling upset and tainted by her guilty knowledge. “What will happen to the biology teacher? Have they charged him with murder?”
“Just about. It’s a matter of hours according to Odering because a lot of the evidence is circumstantial.”
“So why move James?” Hana stuck her chin out and looked defiant. “Why not leave him here?”
Logan shook his head. “One of the other boys saw him argue with Collins and gave a statement to Odering last night. He called his mother and she drove down and took him to the police station. James needed to leave. He couldn’t cope with any more dealings with the cops. He was a wreck as it was. Cops are often corrupt where he comes from and he didn’t handle their questions well, especially as he believed he’d killed Collins. He thumped Bodie, did you know that?”
Hana nodded. “So I gathered.” She thought back to the cut on Bo’s face and James’ apology in Logan’s office. He wasn’t saying sorry for hitting, but for hitting him. “Did you drive him away this afternoon when you used the car?” she asked sadly.
Logan nodded and stretched again. “I met Che’s guys at a service station in South Auckland and James went off with them. He seemed happy to be going. He gave me this regal bow and then ruined it by sobbing all over my shirt. Oh...” Logan reached down and grappled around in his front pocket, pulling out a crumpled envelope with Hana’s name on. “He asked me to give you this.”
Hana took the envelope in her hand, twisting it over and over, looking at the neat, spiky writing. She thought about the frightened Year 9, forgetting to answer to the western name he’d chosen for himself and constantly lost in the school building. He’d sat with Hana often in the days before he made friends. She helped him get a part-time job so he could buy his own textbooks without bothering his mother in Korea, writing a painstaking curriculum vitae over long hours of word switching and trying to make him sound like a good candidate. James loved Phoenix and was kind to Jas after the accident with Action Man, rebuilding him limb by limb and gluing on the mop of black hair. Hana sniffed. “The hair James glued onto Action Man is lost in a hand dryer.” She rubbed a hand roughly across her eyes. “Unless McDonald’s really did post it back to Jas.”
While Logan winded Phoenix and took her to the cot, Hana unfolded the envelope and slipped her fingernail beneath the fold. It was a tatty white envelope and the letter inside comprised of A4 lined refill paper covered in scratchy writing. She read it four times before Logan returned and the ache in her heart was still painful. Hana pushed it towards Logan and he shook his head. “It’s ok, babe. It’s private so I don’t need to read it but you know you can’t keep it, don’t you? ”
‘Dearest Miss,
You have been like mother and friend to me. I will not forget. You did give me your own food when I missed breakfast and you help me get job. But best, is that you listen to me, accept me and understand me. That one thing had more value than all others put together. Home has been calling me for a long while and all this killings has made me need family more than ever. Mr Du Rose has given me chance to be somebody and I am grateful. I will make you proud of me. One day, my name will make you smile.
Your friend for evermore.
James.’
Hana read the precious letter one final time and folded it in half as Logan held his hand out. She placed it into his palm with obvious reluctance. Her husband gave a sad smile and pushed the refill back into the envelope before moving out of Hana’s sight. She heard the click of the barbeque lighter and smelled the paper burning, as her husband destroyed a letter which could be misread by other eyes seeking a murderer in the face of a frightened, teenage boy, who’d already spent far too long away from home.