‘So, what do you think? Shall we go for it?’ Carlos looked at her expectantly. Tasha had sacrificed Pilates and lunch with Flo to finally get herself to the hairdresser. She had decided to go for a new, blonder look, realising it was high time she treated herself to a little pampering and hoping that a change in hair colour might help lift her spirits. She was still annoyed with Charlie after their irritating conversation on Saturday night and so had no qualms about spending a hefty whack on her card for a cut and highlights.
‘Let’s do it!’ Tasha said, nervous in anticipation of the end result.
Carlos had suggested a mixture of honey and golden tones. ‘And I think we might cut some nice long layers in – to give you some volume. Is that OK?’
‘Whatever you think is best.’
‘And maybe some shaping around the face?’
‘Go for it!’ Tasha laughed. ‘I am entirely in your hands.’
‘I promise you, you will look a million dollars by the time I am finished with you!’
Tasha sipped her complimentary coffee and read Hello magazine while Carlos worked his magic. It was lovely being forced to sit still for an hour or two with no chance of doing any housework. Since having children Tasha had even started enjoying her visits to the dentist, despite the pain, seeing them as an opportunity to lie back and have time out. This was much better.
As Carlos unwrapped each silver foil packet and led her over to the sink she felt a frisson of excitement. Her hair had been the same mousey brown for years – there had been no time for highlights. After her hair had been washed, she watched in the mirror as he combed and snipped then dried her hair, running some delicious-smelling serum through the ends to finish.
‘What do you think?’ he asked, holding up the mirror to show her the back of her head.
‘I love it!’ She smiled, genuinely thrilled at the result. ‘Thank you so much!’
‘You are more than welcome. Enjoy your new colour – you know what they say about blondes, right?’ Carlos winked at her, taking her over to the till so that she could pay.
For the first time in years Tasha felt a spring in her step as she walked home. The blonde tones that Carlos had chosen seemed to complement her eyes somehow, making the dark blue stand out more than usual.
As Tasha approached her house she noticed Javier squatting down by his motorbike, which was parked practically outside her front door, fiddling with the back tyre. He seemed to be working a lot of night shifts lately, which meant he was around more during the day. Tasha had to admit she liked bumping into him.
‘Hi,’ he said, squinting against the sun as he looked up at her. His accent made even the simplest greeting sound exotic. He was wearing a crumpled white shirt with blue jeans. His skin seemed permanently olive brown no matter what the season.
‘Hi, Javier,’ Tasha said. ‘What are you doing down there?’
‘Checking the tyre pressure.’
‘Oh, right!’
‘New hair?’ he asked, standing up to look at her properly. She noticed for the first time how tall and broad he was.
Tasha felt herself blush to her roots. ‘I’ve just been to the hairdresser’s. I’m not sure… perhaps it’s too blonde…?’
‘You look beautiful,’ he said. He looked at her with such admiration she was almost inclined to believe him.
‘I’m not sure…’ she repeated. She didn’t know why she kept saying that. She loved her new hair but there was something about him that made her feel like a shy teenager.
‘I mean it,’ he said.
Tasha laughed. ‘I felt like it was time for a change.’
‘I always say the need for change is a powerful thing. We underestimate it at our peril.’
She looked up at him. His deep brown eyes were kind and honest. There was something very open about him, a sort of compassion perhaps. It made her want to share a bit more of herself with him. ‘I’ve been thinking something along those lines recently,’ Tasha admitted. ‘Things can feel a bit… repetitive, somehow, without it.’
Javier looked intrigued. Tasha suddenly worried that he might think she was referring to her marriage. She felt the need to assure him that she hadn’t been talking about Charlie, though the thought occurred to her that he might not be entirely mistaken if he had jumped to that conclusion. ‘I’ve been thinking about returning to work again,’ she added, by way of explanation.
‘Really? That’s so great!’ Javier smiled, showing genuine encouragement. ‘A colleague has recently returned after a break to raise her family. I think it’s quite a process… but definitely achievable.’
‘If I’m honest I’m just not sure that I want to go back to medicine.’
‘Why did you leave?’
‘For the children, mainly. Charlie and I both felt it was important that one of us was at home, and I was happy for it to be me. But that wasn’t the only reason. I had grown disillusioned with general practice. There is a side of me that loved it but a larger side that found it all too frustrating: the long hours, the lack of time. I felt like I was always doing a mediocre job, that I was letting patients down, as well as myself.’
‘You certainly aren’t alone in that respect.’
‘It must be a lot worse in A and E,’ Tasha sympathised.
‘Overstretched and understaffed, that’s our motto!’ Javier laughed wryly.
‘Full credit to you for persevering.’
‘Thank you. It’s worth it, at least for me… but then I have much less on my plate. I live alone, I don’t have any children…’
‘I suppose that makes a bit of a difference.’ She smiled at Javier. ‘Speaking of which, I’d better get on. I’ll leave you to your tyres,’ Tasha said, checking the time. She hadn’t eaten anything all day. The piece of toast she had intended to eat for breakfast had been abandoned as she’d tried to help Bella locate her recorder. Max had unhelpfully hidden the instrument underneath her bed, ‘as a joke’ apparently. Her stomach was rumbling. If she was quick she could grab something to eat while she checked her emails and scrutinised the school calendar. After forgetting about the Roman day, she had received a pointed note from Max’s teacher reminding her that all school activities were listed well in advance online. She was determined to log them all on her phone calendar to prevent any future mishaps.
Having said goodbye to Javier, she unlocked her front door and closed it behind her with a quick backward glance. He was still standing there, smiling at her.
Tasha looked in the mirror that hung in the hallway. Her navy blue eyes stared back, framed with mascara-covered lashes. Mascara was about the only make-up she got around to applying, if she had time for any at all. She wondered what Javier saw when he looked at her. She scrutinised her reflection. Her new hair fell in a glossy cascade down her back – if only she could always look so glamorous. She was wearing a blue and white wrap dress that she had rediscovered during her recent sort-out. Had he meant it? Was she beautiful? She had really lost her confidence since having children – never quite being able to shift that last stubborn bit of baby weight. Her skin bore the battle wounds of motherhood: stretch marks and the scar of the emergency Caesarean she had had to have when Max was born. Was it really possible that someone like Javier found her attractive? She replayed their conversation in her mind. She realised just how nice it had felt to be listened to. He had treated her as more than just a housewife, more than just a mother. With Charlie, that was all she ever felt like, as if she had lost her true identity somehow.