After another whirlwind weekend and a total of two weeks without Charlie, Tasha was beginning to get a taste of what single motherhood must feel like. She missed him so terribly and was absolutely desperate for him to come home. All of her hopes were pinned on Tuesday evening’s meet-up. She was more nervous than she had ever felt. It was worse than going on a first date with a complete stranger. As Nina arrived for the handover Tasha felt as if she might be sick from the butterflies in her stomach.
Charlie had asked her to meet him in Victoria in a pub called The Crown. She was early so she ordered herself a gin and tonic for Dutch courage before sitting at a table in the corner. She fixed her gaze on the door, waiting.
Ten minutes later Charlie walked in. Her heart swelled with love as she watched him approach her table. She half stood to greet him but he didn’t kiss her, he just sat down opposite her. She sat back down, unsure of what to do or say.
‘Hi,’ he said before getting straight back up. ‘Actually, I need a drink. Do you want another one?’
‘Yes, please.’
‘G and T?’
She nodded.
‘So… how have you been?’ she asked when he came back from the bar. He looked different: dejected and tired.
‘Busy,’ Charlie replied. ‘Zurich was exhausting but successful.’
‘Good, I’m so glad,’ she said.
He looked down at the table. ‘How are the children?’
Tasha gave him an update on their trip to the Natural History Museum and their weekend’s activities, but it was impossible to ignore the elephant in the room. She couldn’t stand it for a second longer.
‘Charlie, do you think you can forgive me? Will you come home? Please…? We can’t go to Dorset without you. The children will be heartbroken. I will be…’
Charlie took a deep breath and held her gaze. She could see how much he missed her, despite the hurt he was clearly suffering. For a moment she was filled with hope. Perhaps all was not lost after all.
He fiddled with a coaster on the table. ‘I can’t get the thought of the two of you out of my mind. In fact, I have been thinking of nothing else for the last two weeks. I just can’t believe you could do something like this. You know how I feel about cheating… Call me naïve, but I thought we meant our wedding vows.’
‘I did. I still do… It was a stupid mistake. The most stupid mistake I could ever have made and I regret it more than anything I’ve done in my life.’
‘How could I ever trust you again?’
‘You can, Charlie, I promise. I’m so sorry I’ve given you reason to doubt it. But there is absolutely no way I could ever do something like that again. I have come so close to losing you, to losing everything and I just can’t bear it. Please just give me the chance to prove it to you.’
‘I’m sorry, Tasha…’ He looked so upset. She couldn’t bear the hurt she had caused him.
‘Please…’ she begged.
He was silent. He stared into his pint of beer, seemingly lost in his thoughts.
After several minutes he sighed and slowly nodded his head.
She held her breath, hardly daring to hope.
‘OK,’ he said quietly.
Relief coursed through her. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered, reaching out to take his hand. A tear trickled down her cheek. ‘Thank you, Charlie. I’ll sleep in the spare room. I-I’ll think of something to tell the children.’
He nodded, withdrawing his hand from hers.
They went back to his hotel and collected his belongings before getting a taxi home. Tasha felt so grateful to him for giving her a chance to fix things. She just couldn’t contemplate the alternative. What would she have done if he had said no? It didn’t bear thinking about.
Charlie was very quiet in the taxi. Neither of them knew what to say. When Nina had gone Tasha turned to face him. ‘Would you like some curry? I made some for the children and there’s plenty left.’
‘Thank you.’ He nodded. The atmosphere was thick with tension. ‘I’m going to check on them,’ he said.
‘Hopefully they are all asleep,’ she called after him as he went up the stairs. She didn’t know how to act; she couldn’t pretend nothing had happened yet she was desperate to restore some sense of normality.
‘I might do some unpacking…’
Tasha nodded and left him to it while she sorted out two plates of food. She called up to him when it was ready. They sat in their usual seats on the sofa and watched TV. Even though they had done exactly the same thing a thousand times before, tonight it felt completely different. It was like starting from square one. Tasha knew she had to regain his trust but she had no idea how to. She was willing to do whatever it took, to take it as slowly as Charlie needed.
When the programme they were watching finished she made up the spare bed for herself. ‘Night,’ she said as she took her charger, water glass and book from her bedside table.
Charlie was just getting into bed. ‘Night,’ he replied. She wanted nothing more than to climb under the duvet and snuggle up to him but she knew that that was out of the question.
‘Thank you for coming home,’ she said, closing the door behind her. She rested her forehead against the door for a moment before making her way down the landing to the spare room.