‘A colleague has offered me his flat in the City.’ Tasha looked at Charlie as he sat opposite her. He had been staying at the hotel for the last four nights. During his phone call with the children the night before he had asked her to meet him. He took a deep breath and continued. ‘He’s posted long term in Zurich and he only comes back for the odd weekend. He said I’d be doing him a favour if I house-sit for him while he is away. It’s just lying there empty at the moment. I think I’m going to take him up on the offer…’
Panic erupted inside her. ‘No. Charlie, please, don’t do this. I am begging you…’
‘The thing is, Tasha, I don’t want to be in the same house as you any more. Since Dorset I’ve been doing some serious thinking. I want…’ He paused. ‘I need some time apart.’
‘No,’ she whispered. ‘Please…’
‘I’m sorry.’
Her eyes filled with tears. ‘But what about the children?’ She barely dared ask.
‘I think we need to tell them what is happening. It’s not fair to keep lying to them like this.’
She felt sick to her stomach at the thought. Her mind spun as she tried to think of something she could do to put a stop to it. ‘No… we can’t…’
‘I don’t see how we can avoid it.’
‘But—’
‘I know. It’s hardly what I want either, but I don’t see that we have a choice.’ He clenched his jaw tightly.
Tasha couldn’t think of anything to say. Her mind seemed to have gone completely blank.
‘I wish I could change things.’
Charlie looked at her but said nothing.
‘What do you want to tell them exactly?’ she asked.
‘The truth. Well, a version of the truth anyway.’
Tasha swallowed. Her mouth felt unbearably dry.
‘I think we should say that we are having some time apart, that we’ve been together a long, long time and that sometimes couples need a break from each other.’
‘But they’ll be heartbroken,’ Tasha whispered.
‘So am I,’ Charlie replied, his eyes brimming with emotion.
At this her eyes welled up.
‘Then change your mind,’ she begged. ‘I’ll do anything. Anything…’
But she could tell it was no good. His mind was made up.
‘We have to tell them it has nothing to do with them,’ he continued. ‘That we still love them just as much as we always have. I’ve been doing some reading about the best way to talk to children about stuff like this.’
‘When do you want to talk to them?’
‘This weekend.’
‘So soon?’
‘I can’t keep lying to them.’
Tasha nodded sadly.
‘I’ll come over on Saturday morning.’
‘We should do it together.’
‘That’s better for them. Then I’d like to spend the weekend with them.’
‘I’ll see if I can stay with Rosie.’
‘Thanks.’ Charlie cleared his throat. ‘I just hope I don’t bump into…’
She nodded. He didn’t need to finish the sentence.
‘Charlie…’
He looked at her. She held his gaze, trying desperately to think of anything to say that might stop this from happening. Once they told the children it was real. There was no way out. Everyone would find out. Her palms began to sweat.
‘Are you sure we can’t try and make it work? Can’t we give it more time… before we say anything?’ she asked.
‘I need space. It’s not that easy.’
‘I know. And I’m not trying to simplify it. I am just so desperate for this not to happen…’ She tailed off. ‘I know things weren’t right between us, but we can work on it. We can get back to how we used to be…’
‘Well, perhaps you should have thought about that before you jumped into someone else’s bed.’
‘I’m so sorry…’ She felt like a broken record.
‘I know you are sorry. But it doesn’t change anything, Tasha. You can’t undo what you’ve done.’ With that, Charlie pushed back his chair and stood up. ‘Look… I’ll see you on Saturday,’ he said. ‘I’ll call the children tomorrow.’
She looked at him as he stood across the table from her; his suit was crumpled and his eyes dark and shadowed.
‘Goodbye, Tasha,’ he said.
He turned and walked away.
She sat back down on her seat at the empty table and choked on an alarmingly loud sob. She didn’t care who was watching; she let the tears stream down her cheeks, staring at the chair he had just vacated, trying to take in what had happened.
When she had regained some composure, she got out her phone and ordered an Uber home. There was no way she could hide the fact that she had been crying from Nina, who was babysitting, but luckily Nina was far too tactful to say anything. She accepted the cash Tasha offered her and left. Tasha went up to bed with a heart like lead. She had no appetite. She climbed under her duvet and rested her head on the pillow, staring at the other side of the bed, where Charlie should be.