The heavens opened during the second week of September. Leaving the house without every item of clothing becoming immediately water-logged became impossible. Tasha insisted that all the children wear wellies to school and the house was soon filled with damp garments hanging up to dry. The weather suited Tasha’s mood. Try as she might to lift her spirits and look on the bright side, she found it harder than ever with the continuous onslaught of rain. The children were all extremely fractious, having been cooped up at school with no outdoor play, indoor games and no fresh air. She tried to encourage them to go out in the garden in their wet-weather gear but they were less than enthusiastic. To make matters worse Max was continuing to wake, up to several times a night, appearing in Tasha’s room complaining that he couldn’t sleep.
‘I’m sure it’s because of Charlie moving out,’ Tasha said as she took a gulp of red wine. It was Thursday and she was having lunch with Flo after Pilates. ‘He’s much more clingy and wanting to be near me all the time.’
‘It could be that,’ Flo agreed.
‘Last night I caved in and let him sleep in my bed. It’s just so exhausting!’
‘I don’t blame you. I would do the same. How are the girls?’
‘Bella seems OK. Flora is behaving more like a moody teenager than ever.’
Flo laughed. ‘Oh dear. A glimpse of things to come?’
‘God help us!’
‘And how are things with Charlie?’ Flo asked hesitantly.
‘Not too bad considering…’ Tasha didn’t want to go into much detail. ‘He’s still talking to me. He’s been amazing actually.’
‘That’s good. Though it must feel incredibly strange living separately after so long.’
‘It’s horrible. I realise now that I took him completely for granted. Now I’d give anything to have him back, with all the habits that used to drive me up the wall included. It’s awful that it takes something so drastic to make you realise what you had.’
Flo nodded. There was silence for a minute or so until Flo moved the conversation on, telling Tasha about the mind-boggling summer holidays that Mrs Perfect and her family had apparently enjoyed – abseiling in the Alps, amongst other pursuits. Tasha laughed at the thought, grateful for the distraction.
The following day Tasha was aching all over. It had been her first Pilates class in quite a few weeks, having been unable to leave the children over the holidays, and she was feeling the repercussions of her time off. Having dropped the children at school she detoured via Sainsbury’s Local, making a mental list of all the items she had failed to buy in her weekly online shop. As she turned onto Havers Street she clocked Javier coming out of the house and getting on his motorbike. Deliberately slowing her pace, she pulled her mobile out of her pocket, pretending to be in the depths of an interesting conversation so he didn’t try to stop and talk. He zoomed down the road, giving her a cheery wave as he zipped past her. Her heart rate had gone into overdrive. She would do anything to get away from having him so close by. It was not only painfully awkward but also a constant reminder of what she had done. She thought once again about moving to the country, remembering the house near Andrew and Becca’s that they had looked at on the way back to London a few months before. It would have been one thing doing that with Charlie by her side, but quite another moving away all alone; another dream that now lay in tatters.
Having cooked a lamb stew for dinner, she opened her laptop to get some much-needed admin done. As she scrolled through her emails a message from the recruitment company caught her eye. A well-known hedge fund had been let down by a new recruit who was meant to be covering a maternity-leave position. They wanted to know whether Tasha would be interested in the job temping as a PA. The start date would be October 1st. It was worlds away from medicine, but the thought of being in the City appealed to her somehow. It would certainly be completely different.
Tasha stared blankly at the screen for several minutes, made a split-second decision and reached for the telephone to call them before she could change her mind. She explained that she was interested and before she knew it had arranged to go in for an interview the following Monday while the children were at school. Nervous anticipation fluttered in the pit of her stomach at the thought. Part of her wanted to wimp out immediately and cancel the appointment, but a larger part of her was excited about the opportunity. It could be perfect, and if she didn’t like it she could just leave at the end of the maternity cover. No harm done. She probably wouldn’t get the job anyway but it would be good to get the interview practice if nothing else. She tried to quell the critical voice within her that was doing its best to persuade her not to try, saying she wouldn’t be able to cope. Instead she reminded herself of just how capable she was. She was a qualified doctor, for God’s sake. She had always been good at multitasking and had ample experience with the administrative side of general practice.
Luckily there wasn’t much time to be nervous. Charlie was in Geneva for the weekend and Tasha had decided to take the children to Surrey to stay with her parents, realising Bertie hadn’t seen much of his grandchildren for a while and keen for an extra pair of hands, or two. It was lovely to enjoy the country air for a couple of days and she was able to take advantage of their babysitting services to sneak upstairs, go through her CV and mentally run through potential interview questions that might come up.
Bertie cooked up a storm all weekend, culminating in a very impressive roast beef with all the trimmings for Sunday lunch. Max slept through on Saturday night for the first time all week, which was a huge relief to Tasha, though Flora was still a bit temperamental, chatting normally to Lizzie and Bertie but monosyllabic with her mother. Tasha had been twisting herself in knots with guilt at the impact the separation was having on her children. It felt odd being at Lizzie and Bertie’s house without Charlie, despite the fact she had stayed there with just the children many times before. She noticed his absence now more strongly than ever. They FaceTimed him on Saturday and Sunday evening before the children’s bath time, his slightly pixelated face as handsome as ever on her iPhone’s screen. She wondered which colleagues were out there with him, imagining some successful young businesswoman in a power suit flirting with him over one of the corporate dinners he would no doubt be attending later that evening. The thought of him there with a hotel room at his disposal and every reason to repay her adultery made her feel nauseous. Perhaps she was being naïve to think he hadn’t already done so. He was, for all intents and purposes, single. And she had absolutely no one to blame for that but herself.