In November the boiler broke down just as the icy tentacles of winter unfurled and the temperature plummeted. Unwilling to spend longer than necessary without hot water or central heating, Tasha was forced to take a day of holiday to wait in for British Gas. Bath time the evening before had been cancelled and they had all spent the night huddled together in Tasha’s bed, each child having woken from the cold.
Tasha filled the machine with load after load of washing. She found it impossible to keep on top of the laundry now she was back at work and the laundry baskets were all overflowing. While she was waiting she decided to make a start on Flora’s birthday cake, for which neither heating nor hot water was required. Much to Tasha’s disbelief, Flora was turning eleven on Saturday. She had decided to attempt a replica netball for her cake. Following in Bella’s footsteps, Flora had asked for a family day out ice-skating as her birthday present. Thankfully Tasha’s foot had mostly recovered over the last few weeks. She had relied heavily on the crutch for the first few days until the swelling had gone down, hobbling around the office trying her best to maintain her productivity levels despite her injury. She knew ice-skating wasn’t the best idea but at least the boots should be sturdy enough to support her ankle. That reminded her – she needed to give the crutch back to Javier. And she also needed more eggs for the cake.
Keeping an eye out for the British Gas van, she darted to the corner shop at the end of the road to buy eggs and milk. She came back via Javier’s, took a deep breath and rang the bell. She waited anxiously but there was no answer. Somewhat relieved, she rummaged in her bag for a pen and paper, scribbled a thank-you note and propped the crutch against the doorframe. She turned around just as the British Gas van pulled up. Several hours later, much to her relief despite the vast expense, the boiler was repaired, hot water was flowing from the taps once again and the central heating was cranking and groaning back into life.
Realising she was now free for the rest of the day, Tasha called Emily to give her the afternoon off. She nipped into Putney to buy a couple more presents for Flora’s birthday, making it to the school gates just in time for pickup. It was actually lovely to have the chance to greet the children as they came into the playground; the fact that it was a novelty rather than a daily occurrence changed it into more of a treat for Tasha. She really was glad that she had gone back to work. It was making a big difference to her mental state. She found she looked forward to the time she spent at home with the children at the end of the day, just as she looked forward to her time away from the home and housework when she was at work. She thought back to what Javier had said about the power of change and realised how right he had been. A change really was as good as a rest.
*
Flora’s birthday dawned clear but freezing cold, appropriate weather for ice-skating. Tasha was definitely not a natural skater. It seemed to her that trying to balance oneself on two thin metal blades defied the laws of physics.
She shrieked as she stepped onto the rink. As always, she had been the last to get her skates on, having fastened everyone else’s for them before starting to do her own. ‘Come on, Mum!’ Flora laughed, skating over to take her hand, as if it were the easiest thing in the world.
Max was also completely fearless, pushing straight off from the wall and zigzagging his way into the centre of the rink. If he fell down he just stood straight back up again, his low centre of gravity serving him well. Charlie was making his way around the edge with Bella, who always needed some time to gain confidence before letting go of the wall. She probably took after Tasha in terms of ice-skating ability, while Flora and Max were as co-ordinated as their father.
‘I’m so wobbly!’ Tasha shrieked, clutching onto Flora for dear life.
‘It’s so fun, isn’t it?’ Flora was beaming. ‘I love it!’
Tasha wasn’t so sure. She skated slowly around the rink with Flora as her guide, keeping a close eye on Max as he skidded about.
After a while her ankle began to throb so Flora skated her back over to the side. Tasha clambered over to a bench to sit down and remove her boots, happy to watch the rest of her family enjoying themselves. By now Bella was much more confident. Charlie was teaching Flora and Max how to skate backwards. God only knew how Charlie could skate so well. He had never been taught. It was the kind of thing that just came naturally to him.
When the children had finally run out of steam they went to the American-style diner that was attached to the rink and ordered chicken nuggets and chips. Tasha produced the perfectly iced netball from the enormous cake box she had brought with her, much to Flora and the children’s delight, and they ate cake for pudding before going back to Charlie’s for a sleepover. Tasha made her own way home, trying not to feel too upset at the thought of missing yet more precious birthday time with her children.
As she got back she noticed that the lights were on in Javier’s house and she wondered if he was home alone. A tiny part of her was tempted to knock on the door, knowing that he was in and would offer her company. She was so lonely; she missed Charlie so desperately. But she wasn’t in the mood to fight off any advances. She knew perfectly well that if there was even the tiniest shred of hope that Charlie might forgive her and come home, she had to cling to it. If she were to go anywhere near Javier, then she would be stamping out that flicker of hope for good. And there was no way she could do that.