I had had enough of Silverwood and its quaint country setting, and I decided that if I spent another night there I’d go crazy. What was I doing, anyway, meddling in events that had happened more than a century and a half ago? What could I do about it? Why me? Was it some kind of sardonic joke that I had been chosen to witness the violent drama played out every night in the bush behind the trailer? What had I done to deserve that?
By ten o’clock I had packed up all my stuff and stowed it in the van. Then I set about cleaning the trailer and closing up all the windows. I arranged to have any calls to the trailer transferred to our house, and I wrote up a sign to tape on the door, telling anyone with problems to phone me at home and I’d take care of things from there.
When I had begun to “pull up stakes,” as my father would have put it, I had felt a sense of relief, but by the time I drove under the Silverwood sign and turned onto the concession road, relief had given way to guilt. I had made a deal with Dad and I was welching on it. He would lose face with his friend, who had been kind enough to do Dad — and me — a favor, giving me a place to live in return for a job that really wasn’t a job. Not once had anyone in the park needed my help. What could I tell him in my defence? That I had been chased away by ghosts? The more I thought about it, the more I felt like a spoiled brat who leaves the party when things aren’t going his way. It was a lousy way to convince my parents that I was old enough to decide my own future.
When I got to the crossroads where the Third met the Old Barrie Road, the corner where the church stood, I made a U-turn and returned to the trailer. One of Dad’s favorite expressions was, Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Now I understood what it meant.
Raphaella found me on the deck, sitting in the sun and drinking a cup of coffee, when she drove up in her mother’s old beat-up compact. She had called ahead and told me she was coming. I was surprised she was driving but had said nothing.
“Boy, the you-know-what really hit the fan, Garnet,” she greeted me as she shut the car door.
“I’m sorry, Raphaella. I really lost it this morning. I shouldn’t have phoned. Your mom must be in a rage.”
She sat down. “No, no. It’s not your fault. This was bound to happen sooner or later. Your phone call was just the catalyst. She knew I sneaked in last night.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Exactly. We fought all morning, a running verbal battle that stormed from room to room. I’m exhausted. In a way it was good, though. A lot of issues came up to the surface. We didn’t resolve anything, but now we both know that we’ve got to work things out, and she won’t have her way in everything. I think she must have known this was coming.”
“I do and I don’t. Mostly I’m relieved. I got the impression she is, too. When you know what you have to face, it makes it easier than guessing.”
“How much does she know about us?”
“Only that I’m seeing you. But that alone is enough for her to cope with for now.”
“I wish we could tell her the whole thing,” I said.
“Be patient.” She smiled. “Patience is a virtue, you know.”
“Yeah, but the people who say that aren’t the ones that have to be patient.”
“Anyway, it sounds as if you had the worst night ever.”
“Yeah.”
“You look pale.”
“As if I’d seen a —”
“Don’t say it. You think the men are after her?”
It was strange how when we talked about Hannah sometimes we’d slip into the present tense, as if the events were happening here and now. In a way, I guess they were.
“It’s the only explanation that makes any sense.”
“So we’ve got to dip into that diary some more.”
We didn’t want to work on the patio within sight of the damage to the back of the trailer, so I carried a chair and a little round table onto the deck and we went to work, occasionally fortified with juice and crackers and cheese. We’d take turns. One would read and, when something relevant came up, relate it out loud while the other took notes.
It was a frustrating search, and boring. The diary contained page after page of domestic narratives, anecdotes about the children as they grew, learned to walk, fell and bruised themselves. A pioneer homestead seemed to be full of opportunities for children to come to grief. And for back-breaking labor — chopping down trees, pulling stumps, hauling stones from the ground to clear more land, building split-rail fences. There were inventories of the output of Elizabeth’s kitchen garden, which she seemed very proud of, and lots of musings about Nevil. Elizabeth sometimes betrayed guilt that she didn’t love him much.
She also included a little bit of neighborhood gossip, though she often went for a week at a time without seeing anyone outside her family. Here and there was a reference to Hannah.
After Jubal died, Hannah was in a bad way. A pioneer widow with grown children could still run her farm, but one who was childless had three choices: marry again, find work off the land, or leave. Hannah began to work for Elizabeth at least three days a week, often more. She had her own garden, and she made a bit of money ministering to people’s illnesses or practising midwifery. She got by, but was very lonely.
Raphaella and I took a break and went for a walk — but not in the bush. Then we set to work again. This time, Raphaella was the reader and I the note-taker.
“Here we go,” she announced after a while.
“Find something?”
“Yeah, I think so. This section is badly damaged. There are five illegible pages, then this: ‘… second year in succession. The Spring, having been uncommonly dry and not a whit conducive to sowing; and the rain, when it did finally arrive, falling with such intensity and duration as to ruin the already endangered crop …’”
Raphaella flipped over a couple of wrinkled pages with nothing but smears and blurs on them.
“Then this: ‘… as it was last winter. Indeed, trouble comes ‘not single spies but in battalions.’ Already three children and two adults among the Knox congregation have been carried away by ague, along with at least four among the Methodists, and this added to the poor yields of the last two growing seasons has, for the fist time, caused Nevil to doubt the wisdom of our coming here. There is, among the less educated, much talk of God’s wrath and more dangerous speculation about what or whom to blame.’”
That spring, after a tornado had torn through the area and flattened a few cabins and outbuildings and damaged the African Methodist Church, Hannah was not seen again. She failed to come to the Maitland place to take up her duties on the appointed days.
“Listen,” Raphaella said. “I think this is 1833. ‘… so worried. Hannah has not been seen, or heard of, for more than a fortnight. I fear that, in her loneliness and desperation, she may have, as have more than a few of the Wilberforce Negroes, abandoned her homestead and gone south; or, worse still, that she may herself have succumbed to the illness that stalks the roads. I shall endeavour to visit her home tomorrow.’”
Elizabeth walked across the west field and through the bush to Hannah’s cabin. She described the place in detail. Bunches of herbs and dried flowers hung from the rafters, bottles of “various decoctions” were arranged on shelves. Those were Hannah’s medicines. There were no books, as Hannah, like Jubal, had been illiterate. A single chest by the homemade bed held a few articles of clothing. A heavy man’s coat hung on a peg by the door. The table and two chairs were neatly arranged under the waxed-paper-covered window, the dirt floor neatly swept.
The place, Elizabeth concluded, was “empty, but not abandoned.” Hannah hadn’t left. She had disappeared.
More page flipping. Raphaella read a moment, then groaned, “Oh, boy.”
“What?” I asked.
Raphaella looked directly into my eyes as tears welled in hers. She began to read once more.
“‘She appeared again last night. I heard her pitiful cries carried on the wind from the depths of the forest. Three times this month her soul had, at least so I imagine it, reached out to me. What has happened to the poor wretch? I now fear the worst.’”
Raphaella put the book down and wiped her eyes. “My god, Garnet. Do you know what this means?”
“Yeah,” I said, choking. “Hannah has been haunting this place for more than a hundred and fifty years.”
Raphaella and I decided to go out for dinner to cheer ourselves up. She drove to town in her mother’s car and I took the van. We sat in the Greek restaurant on Memorial Avenue, grimly pushing our souvlaki around on our plates, hardly speaking.
She had wanted to stay with me that night. She knew I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of spending another night at the trailer, haunted and scared. But things between her and her mother were bad enough, I argued. Spending the night with the boyfriend would guarantee that she’d be thrown out of the house for good.
“Besides,” I explained as Raphaella got into her car in the parking lot, “I’d feel like a coward, running away.”
I didn’t add that earlier that day I’d almost done exactly that. “And you said that spirits can’t hurt me.”
“Not physically,” she corrected me. “But you don’t seem to realize what this is doing to you. You’re pale, you’re jumpy —”
“But still charming,” I joked.
“Leave your cell phone turned on,” she said. “All night.”
I didn’t bother undressing. Certain I would not sleep, I lay on the bed and closed my eyes.
The night deepened. The usual domestic noises of Silverwood — parents calling kids in to bed, car doors slamming shut, screen doors slapping, the scrape of chairs on patio stones — faded, and the crickets began their rhythmic song. In the distance, thunder rumbled weakly. My breathing slowed and I felt myself carried to another place.
This is what I saw.