ROMY STARED AT the ceiling, listening to the distant hum of traffic from Lexington and 57th Street below and the night sounds of the city as Greg lay snoring slightly beside her, his arm flung across her chest, his naked body close to hers. She stroked his skin: it was soft and warm and she loved the way he smelled. Wholesome and manly, he didn’t douse himself with colognes and body sprays and deodorants like some of the guys she’d been with. He didn’t need to. She pushed herself into the curve of his shoulder wishing she could snuggle there and drift into sleep. She needed to sleep, forget her aunt’s call and the lonesome thought of her mother lying in a hospital bed. Going home was something she didn’t even want to think about. Where did Kate and her Aunt Vonnie get off with telling her what to do!
Vonnie had even threatened never to speak to her again if she didn’t fly home immediately. She’d had a bellyful of them all and the very thought of returning to Rossmore and seeing the Stone House where she’d grown up made her feel panicked and nervous. She had no wish to revisit that part of her life, and as far as she was concerned there was no going back.
Guilt tormented her as she tossed and turned, rebuking her, forcing her to confront the possibility of her mother dying without her presence. A sound of utter despair escaped from her.
‘Hey, Romy, are you OK?’
She was too choked to speak, too wrapped up in her own misery.
‘You’re thinking about your mother.’
She nodded in the darkness.
He rolled over towards her, and Romy was glad of his comforting warmth as she buried her face against his shoulder, wanting to erase the anxiety and dread within her.
‘You know, I wasn’t there when my dad died,’ he confided. ‘I was away at college when he had his heart attack.’
‘That wasn’t your fault!’
‘I know, but they’d sent word to the dean. But, I’d skipped lectures that day. Took off with a few of the guys and was busy skirt-chasing and downing beers when my old man passed on. He’d been fit and healthy up till then.’
‘You being there wouldn’t have changed a thing,’ she reasoned. ‘Not a thing.’
‘I know, but sometimes I wonder if there was something he might have wanted to say to me, I can’t help myself.’
‘Don’t beat yourself up over it,’ she argued.
‘Yeah well I sure know about it now. Tom and Julia are always on about it! They get to recall the way he looked and the last thing he said to them. It still cuts me up.’
‘You’re a big softie. Anyways, families are different. My mother’s unconscious. She probably won’t know who’s there or not, and me turning up might even make things worse.’
In the near darkness she could feel his eyes on her.
‘Romy, you don’t believe that’s true.’
‘Just leave me alone. This is my family, my problem! Keep out of it!’
‘OK. Message received loud and clear. But I want to say something, based on my experience. I’m just warning you that you might regret it, that’s all.’
She lay beside him fuming at his daring to interfere in her life. Just because they were lovers he had no right to tell her how to live her life and what to do. None!
They lay in silence beside each other. After a few minutes, Greg rolled over on his side and turned his back to her.
‘You have it your way, then.’
She didn’t want to get into another argument with him. She just wanted peace and quiet for now and passion and good sex and the feel of his body beside hers later. She liked the nights he stayed over and made the effort to be a part of her life; they could pretend to be a couple. She knew not to expect much, make demands. He had the office, the ongoing acrimonious divorce from Jen, and his kids. She came in somewhere after those three. She had her own life, her own friends and interests and had made room for him, given space to a relationship that might happen if she didn’t push too hard.
Greg had been upfront with her, telling her he’d had enough of tears and histrionics and wanted ‘something easy’. Easy – that was sure something she was good at!
Diana had had a go at her too this afternoon in the studio, telling her to take a cab to JFK and buy a flight home immediately. Perhaps she should have listened to her friend, instead of lying here in the dark thinking about her mother, the smell of her skin, and the way she laughed at silly things. Maybe it was only a machine that was keeping the breath in her body now. She remembered the way her mother used to hug and dress her and tickle her until she’d nearly wet her pants. Hot tears scalded her eyes as she lay in bed thinking of her as night slipped to day.
‘I can get a cab,’ she insisted.
‘I’ll drive you,’ offered Greg, pulling on his shirt and tie.
‘What about the office?’
‘What about them? I’m paying enough they can manage without me for an hour or two!’
She felt shaky with relief as he grabbed her bag and toted it downstairs then flung it on the back seat of his car, holding the front passenger door open for her. Awake at 3 a.m. she had gone online and booked a flight to Dublin, almost instantly regretting the impulsive act but determined not to change her mind.
‘Will you make sure that Diana takes the cat?’
‘Yeah, sure.’
‘And you’ll notify the landlord to keep an eye on the place.’
‘It’s done.’
She fiddled with her purse, nervous as they drove through Manhattan and out towards JFK. Greg, frowning, concentrated on the traffic as they passed through the toll booth. He looked tired. She guessed neither of them had got much sleep and when they yawned in unison he took her hand.
‘You’ll sleep on the flight.’
She usually didn’t as she ended up in conversations with her fellow passengers or got glued to the in-flight movie or whatever book she was reading, but today was different. Today she wanted to arrive calm and relaxed, in control of her feelings.
‘Ask the hostess for a blanket and pillow,’ he suggested, ‘and try a nap.’
She gritted her teeth. She had flown to every continent in the globe, worked in many countries and had clocked up far more air miles than most.
‘What about you?’ she asked.
He shrugged, cursing under his breath as an old lady in an ancient Volvo pulled out in front of them. ‘I’ve too much on today and it’s my night for Amy and Jack.’
Romy tried to smile.
He was obsessive about his nights with his kids, over the top doing things with them, bringing them to new places, in a constant quest for fun and entertainment as if that would cover up the massive split in their family. Meeting Greg Anderson had been great, he was fun and loving and good company, but from the beginning he had been quite clear about his level of commitment and his family obligations. Over the past five months Romy had managed to steer clear of letting herself fall totally in love with him, knowing that as usual her timing was out. She always seemed to meet either the wrong men or the right man at the wrong time! Greg definitely could have been a Mr Right. But she knew, looking at him, that in a few hours’ time, wrapped up with his children and involved at work, she and her troubles would disappear from his busy mind.
At the airport he offered to come with her to the Aer Lingus check-in desk.
‘Just drop me off outside,’ she said.
Romy had her big backpack, stuffed with clothes and a few essentials, and a small holdall. She always liked to travel light.
His lips brushed hers as they kissed goodbye. He tasted of coffee and toast and she lingered for a few minutes enjoying the physical pleasure of his mouth on hers as the airport security man came to move him along.
‘I’m going!’ he yelled at the uniformed figure as she grabbed her things and jumped out of the car. ‘Have a safe trip and I hope your mom’s going to be OK.’
‘Thanks, Greg.’
She knew he meant it, for underneath it all he was a thoughtful, old-fashioned, rather decent type of guy. Saying goodbye to him she wondered if their relationship would even manage to survive the separation of her return trip to Ireland, as she pushed her way through the busy terminal building.