A Translation of an Issue of
the German daily newspaper Berliner Tageblatt,
25 June 1924
HOW PARIS WAS DESTROYED IN SIX HOURS
ON 20 APRIL 1924
The detailed account and the complete story
of the incredible event, related yesterday
IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS MAJESTY
THE EMPEROR AND KING
WILHELM II
in the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles
As reported by the celebrated Otto Walter
FINALLY WE HAVE HER!
FRANCE IS OUR PROPERTY!
Since the immortal night of 20 April 1924, which gave the Chosen Race the dominion of the entire world, our readers have found every morning, in their Berliner Tageblatt, that cry of glory: “Finally we have her! France is our property!” From daybreak to sunset, let all Germany repeat it until the voice gives out. Let that cry become our national gargle!46
Finally, we have her! France is our property! Today, while she is writhing under our invincible boot, let us sing in the face of the world that she is the most beautiful of beauties, that no soil richer, no climate milder and no prey tastier than Gaul can ever fall to patient and tenacious Germany!
Finally, we have her! But let us calm the lyricism of our joy! Let us not leave any longer unappeased the hunger for the story of the glorious events that all our readers are feeling. Let us pass on quickly to the splendid reality of yesterday’s event; here it is:
Three days ago, our hero of genius, His Excellency General Hans von Stick, was informed of the desire that the Emperor had just manifested to learn from his own moth the details of German prowess, forever memorable in the succession of the centuries, that crushed Paris in a single night and caused France to fall into our helmet.
His majesty intended that the Lecture should be solemn, but limited to a hundred selected guests. He deigned to order that the reading, every line of which will make the heart of even the humblest of our peasants beat faster, should be given in the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles.
To that memorable room was owed, the Emperor said, aloud, both honor, since it was in the Hall of Mirrors in 1871 that the German Empire had been proclaimed, and disinfection, since the petty piece of paper known as the Treaty of Versailles had been signed there on 28 June 1919.
Three days after the imperial desire was manifested, the Hall of Mirrors was ready. The slide-projection apparatus that was to illuminate the lecture of our hero of genius, Hans von Stick, stood on the marquetry-work parquet of the Sun King. And the entire court, swollen with gladness, awaited the arrival of His Majesty.
By permission of His Excellency the High Chamberlain W. von Schmitterdorff, the very humble representative of the Berliner Tageblatt was authorized to witness the grandiose lecture with two stenographers. That signal generosity permits us to give our readers a complete account of that incomparable ceremony. We are convinced that more than one of them will pin it up on his bedroom wall.
AN INFORMAL MAJESTY
His Majesty the Emperor had deigned to order that yesterday’s ceremony would commence at two o’clock.
At five minutes to two the first horseman of the escort preceding the imperial automobile emerged on to the esplanade of Louis XIV’s château. The great fountains were playing, the mirrors of the basins reflected the sun, and the air was embalmed with joy.
With the charming simplicity that heightens his August Character and Lucid Intelligence, and the affability that befits a Democratic Emperor, His Majesty came into the Hall of Mirrors, sat down in the midst of his court on a throne with golden feet, and soon permitted the members of the audience to raise their heads, which they had bowed down before him since he came in.
Our hero of genius, standing next to the slide projector, bowed profoundly in his turn. Immediately, however, a chamberlain approach him and, breaking the solemn silence, proclaimed that His Majesty deigned to order the glorious Destroyer of Paris to speak in his presence.
A little pale to begin with, but quickly overcoming his emotion, His Excellency General von Stick expressed himself as follows:
THE STORY OF AN IMMORTAL HERO
Your Majesty,
The story of the immortal exploits that German genius accomplished on the ever-memorable night of 20 April 1924 ought to emerge from a mouth more eloquent than mine. I am a soldier and an engineer. I am neither a Pindar nor a Dante—those incontestable Germans of old—to sing your glory as it merits. I am scarcely a Leonardo da Vinci—another of our illustrious ancestors—and I apologize for the scientific dryness of my report.
In order better to comprehend, from deduction to deduction, the events of 20 April 1924, it is necessary to go back six years, to 1918.
In the month of November of that year, the Allies thought that they had defeated Germany! Their eyes were truly closed by nutshells, for they ought to have seen, inscribed in the history of the world in red letters, these words: Germany is never defeated!
In reality, when the armistice of 1918 was signed, Germany was performing an action of both great humanity and great strategy. She was imposing on the Allies the cessation of the war that they had declared against her. She was weary of the torrents of blood that they had unleashed. She finally forced them to take pity on humankind. Thus she demonstrated once more to Neutrals who judged without prejudice her mildness and her bounty. Enough tears, she said, thereby. Enough deaths! Enough windows! Enough poor little orphans!
But at the same time, the armistice permitted Germany to collect herself, to seek to discover by what rapid course, by what sudden realization, which would fill the World with amazement and admiration, she would be able to reclaim from events her due—which is to say, the empire of the entire Earth.
For our Race must, no matter what the cost, pursue the supreme goals that Destiny has imposed upon it. Being the Salt of the Earth, it is necessary for us to cover the Earth with Salt!