1

knowing when to get help

you need to know

In this book we use the terms sexual trauma and sexual abuse to describe many types of experiences. These may be single incidents, or they may have continued over time. Sexual trauma may involve rape or inappropriate sexual touching, or you may have felt pressured to perform certain sexual acts out of fear. Not all sexual violation involves the use of physical force, but the survivor often feels ashamed, fearful, angry, and helpless both during and after the incident.

my story

I felt so isolated after the rape. I remember how numb I felt, as if I were watching myself from outside of my body. I felt like no one really could understand what I was going through. The only thing I wanted to do was sleep. I couldn’t eat and lost about twenty pounds in a very short amount of time. I knew I couldn’t go on like this, and my family and friends had no idea how to help me. I was angry and distant. I needed someone who knew how to hold my pain and help me navigate through it without getting overwhelmed. For me, that meant finding the right therapist, the right medication, and the right people to be around. ~Emily

You may feel that the sexual trauma you have experienced is too much to handle on your own. Perhaps you aren’t sure whether or not you need more help. You might feel that if you ask people for help, they will think you are weak, or maybe you’re too embarrassed to talk about sex with an adult. These feelings are completely normal. Opening up to a stranger isn’t easy, but there are trained professionals who can help you get through this hurtful experience.

Counselors are trained to help you work through your painful experiences at a comfortable pace. Most importantly, they can teach you coping skills and help you manage hurtful thoughts and emotions. These skills will help you grow into a more confident and stronger woman.

directions

Review the checklist below and check any symptom that applies to you.

Therapy Needs Checklist

Coping
Daily Activities
Emotions

Relationships
Thoughts of Hurting Yourself
Trauma Memories

Number of marked responses:
If you checked any of the statements regarding suicidal thoughts, self-injurious behavior, drug use, or alcohol use, please get help immediately. If you are currently in a relationship that is abusive, please reach out for help. And if you checked any of the statements, please consider getting professional help. People care about you and want to help. If you are working with a therapist, please take this activity to your next session and speak with your therapist about your answers.

more to do

There are many benefits to speaking with a professional about your experience(s).

Counseling can help you

Answer the following questions.

  1. If you aren’t in therapy, what is keeping you from giving it a try? For example, are you afraid of talking about the event, or are you ashamed of what happened?
  2. If you didn’t have to worry about what you listed above, how could therapy help you?

  1. If you are currently seeing a professional, what things are you learning that help you better cope with your past?
  2. If you aren’t in therapy and are trying to find a trained sexual abuse professional, start by reaching out to your local rape crisis center (where confidential counseling is often provided free or at very low cost). The staff can help you locate a counselor and answer your questions. List the name and contact information of your local center below.

words of inspiration

You are worthy of love and care and healing. Find people who lift you up. ~Emily