Taking good care of yourself may be a challenge when you have survived sexual abuse. When your world has been turned upside down, things that were once easy may now seem difficult and complicated. Even though you may not feel like taking care of yourself, it is an essential part of your recovery.

my story

Learning how to “deal” in healthy ways was really difficult after the rape. It was hard to eat, much less eat the right kinds of foods. It was hard to exercise. It was hard to find people who understood how much pain I was in and were willing to deal with my distant behavior and random spells of crying. It took some time to regain my footing on life and realize that if I didn’t take care of myself, no one else would. I journaled my feelings. I forced myself to eat. I forced myself to go for walks, even when I didn’t feel like it. And slowly, gradually, I began to feel like I was going to make it through. ~Emily

Taking care of yourself involves nurturing and balancing three parts of your well-being: your mind, body, and spirit.

Your Mind

Your mind generates your thoughts and gives you messages about life. At times, some of these thoughts may be painful and untrue. For example, you may think that you deserved what happened or that you are “dirty” or “tainted.” Your mind can be very stubborn. It can tell you that things are impossible, or you may end up believing your thoughts are 100 percent accurate. It’s useful to examine a thought from all angles and think about alternative ways to look at the situation. For example, if you find yourself thinking, This experience has made me used and dirty, an alternate way to look at it is, One experience does not define who I am. I am not the one who is at fault.

Your Body

The body is the vessel that allows you to get up and function each day. Just like a flower needs soil, nutrients, water, and sun to survive, your body needs regular exercise (thirty minutes of moderate activity per day), sleep (eight to ten hours per night), nutritious food, and relationships to survive. Your body depends on you to take care of it so it will bloom and thrive. To care for your body, start with small goals like taking a walk twice a week or replacing an afternoon candy bar with a piece of fruit.

Your Spirit

The spirit is difficult to describe because it’s the part of you that goes beyond your mind and body. It is the core of your existence, encompassing your views, your personality, and the things that you are passionate about. There are many ways you can charge your spirit. Some people find yoga, religious practices, and meditation help feed their soul, which in turn positively influences their mind and body. Others find that soothing music or the smell of their favorite candle can be centering and meaningful.

In order to care for yourself, you must find a balance between the mind, body, and spirit. All three components are interconnected, and a weakness in one will create an imbalance in another.

directions

Do you have balance in your body, mind, and spirit?

In each circle, list things that balance and nourish your well-being. For example, in the mind circle, write a painful thought and challenge it by asking if it is 100 percent accurate. In the body circle, write how can you meet your physical needs (for example, exercise three times a week or reduce your intake of caffeinated and sugary drinks). In the spirit circle, write down how you can nurture your spirit (for example, a walk in nature or volunteer to help others).

more to do

You have identified things that you need to do to feel better. How can you incorporate these things into your everyday life? Identify ways to take care of yourself by filling in the spaces below.

Today, I will take care of myself by doing the following things for my

mind:
body:
spirit:

words of inspiration

It can be hard to take care of yourself when you have been through something that completely changes how you experience the world, but you have to remember to celebrate your successes. From this day forward, let your accomplishments be a protest against the injustice that has been perpetrated against you. You are successful and triumphant. Let living your life be your revenge. ~Emily

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