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choosing healthy coping skills

you need to know

Sometimes when people go through difficult times, they use self-destructive coping methods that temporarily alleviate the pain, but are harmful in the long run. For example, drinking alcohol, cutting, taking drugs, and having risky sex may provide temporary relief, but once the rush is gone, the feeling of emptiness still exists. Fortunately, there are countless healthy coping skills that can promote healing, health, and vitality.

my story

No matter how hard I tried to forget about the rape, I couldn’t. It started manifesting itself in other ways, and it was affecting my life. I started to drink, gained weight, and didn’t take care of myself. Sometimes I felt like I was dying inside. I would go through bouts of depression. I would often drink as a means to cope. I wouldn’t even have the energy to get dressed or groom myself. I knew I was sad and depressed but didn’t know why. Then there came a time that I realized I couldn’t go on living this unhealthy lifestyle. I had to take care of myself. I decided I wanted to do something good rather than detrimental. So, I stopped drinking and started taking care of myself. I got involved with helping others who were traumatized by sexual abuse. As a result, today I travel across the United States and speak with others who are on the road to recovery from sexual abuse. ~Joi

Unhealthy coping skills are destructive ways that people cope with life experiences. For example, smoking might be a way to cope with stress in the short term, but it could lead to cancer. Unprotected sex may temporarily feel good, but it can lead to pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. These coping skills are detrimental to your long-term healing.

Healthy coping skills can help you deal with stress in ways that don’t hurt your mind or body. They can be distracting, enjoyable, or relaxing. Examples of healthy coping skills include talking to trustworthy friends, going for a walk or jog, or learning a new hobby. There are countless healthy coping skills. You just have to find the right fit for you.

directions

At some point in time, most people have engaged in some form of self-destructive behavior. The question isn’t if you engage in these behaviors, but how often and why? Do you engage in healthy or destructive coping skills? Take the quiz below to see.

True or false (circle T or F)?

I frequently…

Circle all of the harmful behaviors that you engage in.

I often…

List any other destructive behaviors you use to cope.

Complete each statement below.

In the short term, my harmful behaviors help me:

Example: Distract myself from my pain, deal with my anxiety, or punish myself because I feel I’m not worth it

The following things trigger my destructive behaviors:

Example: Drinking helps me numb myself when I have memories of the trauma.

I feel after I have engaged in .

Example: I feel ashamed and guilty when I overeat to make myself feel better.

I would like to change the following destructive behaviors:

Example: Compulsively spending money

Note: If at any time you are putting yourself in harm’s way, feel addicted to a substance, or have thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else, please seek professional help immediately. This is not something you should try to conquer on your own.

more to do

The key to working through situations in which you act out destructively is to plan ahead by identifying a healthy coping skill you can use in place of the unhealthy one. On the list below, mark the healthy coping skills you can substitute in place of destructive ones. Imagine using the healthy skill the next time you are in a situation when you are tempted to do something unhealthy. When you practice healthy coping skills over a period of weeks and months, you will start to see positive benefits both physically and mentally.

Productive Coping Skills

words of inspiration

Remember where you are today will not be where you are tomorrow. The road to healing is a process, and you have to take care of yourself to make progress on your journey. ~Joi