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facing your fears

you need to know

Fear is often triggered by specific people or things that are reminders of traumatic experiences. Fear causes physical, mental, and behavioral reactions that can lead to avoidance and isolation. Fear does not need to keep you from enjoying life. You can learn to face it and overcome its powerful grip.

my story

Right after the incident, I felt as if I lost all sense of safety. I was afraid he would come back or someone else would come after me. I experienced a level of fear most people never will. You know the feeling after you watch a scary movie when you’re afraid to open the blinds, the closet, or the shower curtain because of the anxious feeling someone will be there, but you know no one is? In my situation, someone was there, and it took a while to work through my fear and anxiety. I had to come to a decision that I could spend the rest of my life living in fear or live my life. I made the difficult and conscious decision to face my fear and live my life. ~Regan

While facing your fear can be scary at first, once you confront it, you’ll realize it is not as scary as it feels. Here are some tools to help you face your fears:

  1. Identify your specific fears. For example, are you afraid of the dark, being alone, dating, or crowded places?
  2. Understand what your fear is doing to your body. For example, does it make your heart race, or do your palms start to sweat?

  1. Understand what your fear tells you mentally. For example, does it tell you you’ll never get through this or that you are unlovable?
  2. Understand how your fear changes your behavior. Does it keep you from doing things you enjoy or make you feel that you can’t trust anyone?
  3. Determine whether or not your fear is realistic. Ask yourself these questions to see if you can think about your fears differently:
    • Would others think my fear is 100 percent true?
    • What would I say if someone described this situation to me?
    • Is there evidence that supports my fears?

directions

Understanding and mentally challenging your fears is the first step in overcoming them. Answer the following questions.

Understanding Your Fears Your Answers

1. Describe your fears. Are you afraid of specific places, certain people, or particular situations?

Example: I am afraid of going places where there are lots of people.

2. What does fear do to your body?

Example: When I am in crowded places, I feel like I am going to have a heart attack. My heart races, and I break into a cold sweat.

3. How does your fear affect your behavior?

Example: I avoid going anywhere and live my life like a hermit. I am not very happy living my life locked in my house.

4. What does your fear tell you about yourself and world around you?

Example: My fear tells me to trust no one because someone will hurt me. I feel that I am unlovable because I am damaged.

Mentally Challenge Your Fears Your Answers

5. Look at what your fear is telling you about yourself and the world. Are the statements 100 percent true? Are there other ways to think about your fears?

Example: My friend Sara would help me. I can trust her to stick by me in new and crowded places. I also know if I met someone who had been hurt, I wouldn’t love him any less. Maybe I can get over this, not right away, but in time.

more to do

How is your fear limiting you? When you learn to face your fears in small, manageable steps, it’s not nearly as scary as when you run from them. Build your courage by making a copy or taking a screenshot of the challenge you wrote above and use it the next time you feel afraid.

words of inspiration

Don’t let your fear define who you are. You control your life and destiny. ~Regan