CHAPTER 25

How Resilient Are You?

by Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries

WE ALL FACE SETBACKS from time to time, and the ability to bounce back stronger than before is something we envy in others. So how can we develop that ability in ourselves?

A large body of research shows that resilient people are generally strong in three areas: challenge, control, and commitment. They accept that change, not stability, is the norm; they believe they can influence events in their lives; and they are engaged with the world around them.

This test will help you assess your strengths and weaknesses in these areas and provide feedback on ways to improve.

Circle your reaction to each statement, then follow the instructions below to score yourself.

Challenge

1. You’re told that you won’t be getting the promotion you sought, because another candidate is more qualified.

   1. Although you are upset, you say nothing.
   2. You acknowledge that you are disappointed and request a fuller explanation.
   3. You ask what you need to do to improve your chances for advancement in the future.

2. You learn that your company will be opening an office in Beijing. Succeeding in that market would be difficult, but you know that you have the right experience to lead the office.

   1. You consider the risks and decide not to pursue the opportunity.
   2. You discuss the pros and cons with some of the people in your network.
   3. You throw your hat into the ring.

3. A major client tells you that a contract you worked hard to win has been given to a competitor.

   1. You tell your team that you made every effort to land the client.
   2. You put the setback out of your mind, accepting that some factors in the client’s decision were beyond your control.
   3. You reflect on the experience, realizing that you now have a much better understanding of how to deal with this client in the future.

Control

4. You overhear an unflattering conversation about yourself.

1. You pretend it doesn’t bother you.
2. You remind yourself that the speakers don’t know you very well.
3. You approach the speakers calmly and express your desire to understand why they see you that way.

5. Your boss comes to you on Friday afternoon with an emergency: He wants to meet with a client on Monday morning and needs you to prepare a feasibility study first. You have a family camping trip planned for the weekend.

1. You accept the assignment, not mentioning your weekend plans.
2. You mention the camping trip but agree to the assignment after your boss emphasizes its importance.
3. You tell your boss that you have made a commitment to your family and ask if he can schedule the meeting for Tuesday instead.

6. Work has become increasingly stressful. There are too many deadlines, too many requests, too many late nights.

1. You tell yourself, “This, too, shall pass.”
2. You try to give some of your work to a colleague.
3. You request a vacation or a leave of absence to recharge.

Commitment

7. Your best friend says that he is worried about your health and suggests that you join his fitness club.

1. You say, “No, thanks. I’m fine.”
2. You agree that the fitness club is a good idea and make a note in your calendar to look into it.
3. You take his concern to heart and arrange to visit the club together.

8. Your company’s subsidiary in Africa requests financial and technical support for a high school in the region. Although there would be no immediate monetary benefit to the firm, this is a valuable opportunity to build a reputation as a socially responsible employer.

1. You decline the request on cost grounds.
2. You agree to give the matter serious consideration.
3. You give your consent and call a friend at the World Bank for suggestions on how to launch the initiative.

9. Early in your career you had set a goal to become general manager at a Fortune 1000 company by age 50. The clock is ticking: You’re 48, and you’re a division head.

1. You accept your current role and decide to make the best of it.
2. You continue striving for advancement but lower your ambitions a bit.
3. You figure out a way to reach your goal.

Score Yourself

For each area, record the number of each answer below and add up your total score for that area.

Challenge

# of a____  = _______
# of b____ x 2 = _______
# of c____ x 3 = _______
Total= _______	= Challenge Score

If you had a high challenge score (7–9): You turn difficult events to your advantage and view setbacks as learning opportunities. You have positive relationships with others.

If you had a low challenge score (1–6): You need to work on turning difficult events to your advantage and reframing them in a constructive light. If you experience setbacks in the process, regard them as learning opportunities, not failures. Remember the importance of positive relationships with others.

Control

# of a____  = _______
# of b____ x 2 = _______
# of c____ x 3 = _______
Total= _______	= Control Score

If you had a high control score (7–9): You can distinguish between things you can and can’t control, and you deal with emotionally difficult problems proactively. You see things in perspective and know how to set boundaries.

If you had a low control score (1–6): Work on distinguishing between things you can and can’t control, perhaps with the help of an executive coach or a therapist. Try to deal with emotionally difficult problems proactively. Use humor to “roll with the punches.” Set boundaries in both your professional life and your personal life to avoid burnout. Delegate more responsibilities to your direct reports.

Commitment

# of a____  = _______
# of b____ x 2 = _______
# of c____ x 3 = _______
Total= _______	= Commitment Score

If you had a high commitment score (7–9): You pursue goals that are meaningful to you and maintain positive relationships with people who matter to you. You recognize the importance of health and balance and have an active life outside of work.

If you had a low commitment score (1–6): Clarify what is important to you and pursue those activities. Make an effort to spend time with people who are meaningful in your life. Develop healthy habits, including daily exercise, regular sleep, and relaxation techniques. Don’t ignore problems.

To take this assessment online and compare your results to those of other HBR readers, visit https://hbr.org/2015/01/assessment-how-resilient-are-you.

Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries is the Distinguished Professor of Leadership Development and Organizational Change at INSEAD in France, Singapore, and Abu Dhabi. His most recent book is Riding the Leadership Roller Coaster: An Observer’s Guide (Palgrave Macmillan, 2016).

Adapted from material originally published on hbr.org on January 20, 2015